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Posted

I was in the wilds of Yasothon visiting my girlfriend, and was introduced to a number of people she worked with. They all work in the Department of Agriculture, and were at a OTOP market they had set up for the Bung Fai festival. As the day wore on I was progressively introduced to higher officials, and was doing OK with the wai and "Sawadi kap", until I was introduced to the local head of the department.

At this stage all the day's training went out the window and ingrained training kicked in, I extended my hand, bowing slightly and said "How do you do." The gentleman returned my handshake, and exchanged polite conversation and moved on. All the Thais near by were repeating "How do you do." and trying to understand the phrase. :o They guessed it was polite, but it did not translate making sense.

More training needed. :D

Posted
For instance I wai my gf's parents when I first see them even though they are younger than me

LoL! How old is your girlfriend!?!

She's 24 but two weeks older than my daughter - so you see there are lines I don't cross :o

Posted (edited)
;
;Oh, sorry, forgot to mention I'm a Brit.<br />And I don't even stand for the British national anthem, let alone the German one.<br />I pay for the privilege of living here, just as I do when I visit LOS.<br />No wais and wherefores.
<br /><br /><br />What then DO you stand for? Do you thnk you're the only one who pays to live someplace...? <img src="style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":o" border="0" alt="rolleyes.gif" /> Why even bother to visit a country you seem to have such contempt for...?? <img src="style_emoticons/default/wai.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":D" border="0" alt="wai.gif" /><br />
&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&amp;lt;br /&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;<br /><br />

Please refer to the cliche thread.

And tidy up your posts while you're about it.

Edited by qwertz
Posted
At this stage all the day's training went out the window and ingrained training kicked in, I extended my hand, bowing slightly and said "How do you do." The gentleman returned my handshake, and exchanged polite conversation and moved on. All the Thais near by were repeating "How do you do." and trying to understand the phrase. :o They guessed it was polite, but it did not translate making sense.

More training needed. :D

:D

"How do I do...what?"

Posted
I've always been in 2 minds about the whole wai'ing thing.

I don't wai. Simple as that.

I like a good firm handshake.

That is my culture.

Sure I'm a guest here, but that doesn't mean I have to check my culture at the door and do everything the local way.

same here. I don't wai. None of my Thai friends (in their twenties) wai at me and if my staff/colleagues wai at me I would just nod or bow very slightly (for really older people)

Also notice my staff all wai differently, the position of the hands, the body angle...

there is merit to the argument that as a foreigner, one shouldn't wai, after all you have your culture too and thais generally do not expect foreigners to understand how to wai. BUT, as guest in their country, particularly if you are a long-staying one, it would serve you to at least understand the wai even if you dont use it.

i am more of the school that believes in selective use of the wai. use your EQ when deploying your wais! use it in the context that serves you the most. whether as a foreigner or not, nobody wais children or people younger than themselves, and nobody wais service staff, because they are doing it in the context of providing service and not in a context of recognising your specific status.

as a foreigner, sometimes you are accorded higher respect for maintaining your "foreign-ness", in such an instance, maintain foreign-ness. i find this to be the case when you need something done which is unusual or which may meet resistance, here you are in fact giving them a convenient excuse to do it. however, there are times when it would advantage you to show that you recognise and understand their inherent social structure, and by doing so, you would receive a better level of acceptance. for example, if you wai your immigration dept official (only the one who holds the stamp!) it would show that you recognise her superiority to you and she is thus obliged to grant you merit in accordance to your patronage of her.

you dont need to wai your friends on a one-to-one basis, but it serves you to wai the older friends when approaching them on a group basis. you are giving them face, which is good. in such an instance, you will find the younger ones will automatically wai you first, and should then return the wai to acknowledge them.

sometimes, things get more complex, if you go over to your friend's parents and wai each one individually, you are not only gaining better acceptance you are also giving your friend much credit in the eyes of her parents.

Good post.

Posted
Of course we should wai. But must we learn all the 99 rules?

Ahem! 107 rules, to be exact! No wonder you've given up! :o (By the way, I think the hill tribe children were showing different styles of the wai, and were not trying to show a uniform example.)

Seriously, I tend to agree with PB. Thais appreciate any effort when we take a stab at it. Of course, they give us "foreigners' license" to goof up. At my school, students do everything from...

  • coming to a dead-stop, putting down their books, and "wai-ing" with both hands, with a deep bow of the head....
    to...
  • giving me a quick nod to get me outta their hair and keep going

........

Perhaps the most profound wai I ever got at school was from a student who was late for class, rushing around the corner, and he came within five cm of crashing into my face. Least respectful response I got was when I was holding some large longan/lamyai and I remarked to an older teenager, "Lam Yai." His response was to grab his testicles!

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