Sir Winston Churchill, Great Man

[Globeliner]

A great and witty character without a doubt, any more to add?

"Sir Winston, if I was your wife, I would put poisen in your coffee."

"Madam, if I was your husband, I would drink it."

[tijnebijn]

I am sorry but , what has this topic common with anything related to Thailand ?

[Mid]

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wondering where the directive that topic's must pertain to Thailand might be found ??

[tijnebijn]

General topics

Topics regarding everything else not related to other forums. Post your thoughts here if you are not sure where to post it!

Forum Rules

wondering where the directive that topic's must pertain to Thailand might be found ??

Maybe you are right , but I have seen many threads closed by the mods because of this .

Whatever they do I do not care anyway .

[Wolfie]

General topics

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wondering where the directive that topic's must pertain to Thailand might be found ??

Lets move this over to the jokes section...

[bkkandrew]

BKKAndrew has one as his sigline I believe.

Indeed I do!

[JetsetBkk]

He was very astute. This is from his book "The River War". I know this is in the jokes section, but this isn't very funny:

How dreadful are the curses which Mohammedanism lays on its votaries! Besides the fanatical frenzy, which is as dangerous in a man as hydrophobia in a dog, there is this fearful fatalistic apathy. The effects are apparent in many countries. Improvident habits, slovenly systems of agriculture, sluggish methods of commerce, and insecurity of property exist wherever the followers of the Prophet rule or live.…A degraded sensualism deprives this life of its grace and refinement; the next of its dignity and sanctity. The fact that in Mohammedan law every woman must belong to some man as his absolute property, either as a child, a wife, or a concubine, must delay the final extinction of slavery until the faith of Islam has ceased to be a great power among men.

Individual Moslems may show splendid qualities ... but the influence of the religion paralyses the social development of those who follow it. No stronger retrograde force exists in the world. Far from being moribund, Mohammedanism is a militant and proselytizing faith. It has already spread throughout Central Africa, raising fearless warriors at every step; and were it not that Christianity is sheltered in the strong arms of science, the science against which it had vainly struggled, the civilisation of modern Europe might fall, as fell the civilisation of ancient Rome.

[bkkandrew]

How dreadful are the curses which Mohammedanism lays on its votaries! Besides the fanatical frenzy, which is as dangerous in a man as hydrophobia in a dog, there is this fearful fatalistic apathy. The effects are apparent in many countries. Improvident habits, slovenly systems of agriculture, sluggish methods of commerce, and insecurity of property exist wherever the followers of the Prophet rule or live.…A degraded sensualism deprives this life of its grace and refinement; the next of its dignity and sanctity. The fact that in Mohammedan law every woman must belong to some man as his absolute property, either as a child, a wife, or a concubine, must delay the final extinction of slavery until the faith of Islam has ceased to be a great power among men.

Individual Moslems may show splendid qualities ... but the influence of the religion paralyses the social development of those who follow it. No stronger retrograde force exists in the world. Far from being moribund, Mohammedanism is a militant and proselytizing faith. It has already spread throughout Central Africa, raising fearless warriors at every step; and were it not that Christianity is sheltered in the strong arms of science, the science against which it had vainly struggled, the civilisation of modern Europe might fall, as fell the civilisation of ancient Rome.

He was well ahead of his time on this one!

[Sir Burr]

"Sir Winston, you are drunk!"

"Yes madam, I am and you are ugly, but, I'll be sober in the morning".

[bkkandrew]

"Sir Winston, you are drunk!"

"Yes madam, I am and you are ugly, but, I'll be sober in the morning".

I had forgotten that one!

[Globeliner]

General topics

Topics regarding everything else not related to other forums. Post your thoughts here if you are not sure where to post it!

Forum Rules

wondering where the directive that topic's must pertain to Thailand might be found ??

Maybe you are right , but I have seen many threads closed by the mods because of this .

Whatever they do I do not care anyway .

Go away then please

[Mid]

if it wasn't , it should have been ,

something about arguing the price .................................

[sbk]

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

Sir Winston Churchill

[Sir Burr]

This may not be correct verbatim:-

"Madam, would you have sex with a perfect stranger for ten thousand pounds?"

"Well, yes Sir Winston, I probably would".

"Madam would you have sex with a perfect stranger for tuppence?"

"Good God, Sir Winston! Of course not, what kind of woman do you think I am?"

"Well madam, we have already deduced that, we now just have to haggle over the price".

[Sir Burr]

Some more of the great man's quotes:-

"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals".

"This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read".

"The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter".

"If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is make the rubble bounce".

[bkkandrew]

A few more:

"I wish Stanley Baldwin no ill, but it would have been

much better if he had never lived."

Sir Winston Churchill about Stanley Baldwin

"I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter".

"A modest man, who has much to be modest about".

Sir Winston Churchill about Clement Atlee

And finally, for some of the members of this board:

"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject."

Edited July 26, 2007 by bkkandrew

[IMA_FARANG]

A great and witty character without a doubt, any more to add?

"Sir Winston, if I was your wife, I would put poisen in your coffee."

"Madam, if I was your husband, I would drink it."

The joke goes like this:

Lady Astor and Churchill disliked each other intensely. Once Lady Astor was supposed to have said, "Mr. Churchill if I was married to you, and I woke up next to you, I think I would have to place poison in your tea."

To which Churchill is supposed to have replied, "Madam, if you were my wife, and I knew you had poisoned my tea,I would drink it, gratefully."

And supposedly,Lady Astor once said,"Mr. Churchill. I believe you are drunk."

To which Churchill replied,"Yes, madam, I am drunk, and you are ugly. In the morning, however, I shall be sober."

And though it has nothing to do with the above, Churchill when told you should never end a sentence on a preposition replied,"I am sure that a preposition is not something that a sentence you should up on end."

[geronimo]

"Sir Winston, you are drunk!"

"Yes madam, I am and you are ugly, but, I'll be sober in the morning".

Winston Churchill was sitting on the John one day when his batman knocked on the door saying "Mr Churchill, The Lord Privvy Seal is here to see you"

"Well tell him I can only deal with one sh#t at a time"!

[Jersey_UK]

"I know history will be kind to me, for I intend to write it"

No doubt not an exact quote!

He DID write a 6/7 volume account of WWII fairky soon afterwards, which WAS favourable

Folk like Winston would never be allowed to prosper nowadays in Public Life and probably would not want to even try, I wuld say that the closest we have is Boris Johnson.........(for those who know not of whom I speak, he was well described on TV last night "If Boris had been born a couple of hundred years ago he would have died by the age of 30, leading a Cavalry charge......into a Volcano ...........and apart from being an MP is Conservative party favourite candidate for Mayor of London )

[endure]

A great and witty character without a doubt, any more to add?

"Sir Winston, if I was your wife, I would put poisen in your coffee."

"Madam, if I was your husband, I would drink it."

The joke goes like this:

Lady Astor and Churchill disliked each other intensely. Once Lady Astor was supposed to have said, "Mr. Churchill if I was married to you, and I woke up next to you, I think I would have to place poison in your tea."

To which Churchill is supposed to have replied, "Madam, if you were my wife, and I knew you had poisoned my tea,I would drink it, gratefully."

And supposedly,Lady Astor once said,"Mr. Churchill. I believe you are drunk."

To which Churchill replied,"Yes, madam, I am drunk, and you are ugly. In the morning, however, I shall be sober."

And though it has nothing to do with the above, Churchill when told you should never end a sentence on a preposition replied,"I am sure that a preposition is not something that a sentence you should up on end."

He made the poison remark to Lady Astor but the drunk/ugly remark was made to Bessie Braddock, MP.

[pitrevie]

Three of my favourites:

"A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject. "

"The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter."

"We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English."

[sceadugenga]

How dreadful are the curses which Mohammedanism lays on its votaries! Besides the fanatical frenzy, which is as dangerous in a man as hydrophobia in a dog, there is this fearful fatalistic apathy. The effects are apparent in many countries. Improvident habits, slovenly systems of agriculture, sluggish methods of commerce, and insecurity of property exist wherever the followers of the Prophet rule or live.…A degraded sensualism deprives this life of its grace and refinement; the next of its dignity and sanctity. The fact that in Mohammedan law every woman must belong to some man as his absolute property, either as a child, a wife, or a concubine, must delay the final extinction of slavery until the faith of Islam has ceased to be a great power among men.

Individual Moslems may show splendid qualities ... but the influence of the religion paralyses the social development of those who follow it. No stronger retrograde force exists in the world. Far from being moribund, Mohammedanism is a militant and proselytizing faith. It has already spread throughout Central Africa, raising fearless warriors at every step; and were it not that Christianity is sheltered in the strong arms of science, the science against which it had vainly struggled, the civilisation of modern Europe might fall, as fell the civilisation of ancient Rome.

He was well ahead of his time on this one!

Not really, they've been around for a long time. They make a big deal of the Crusaders invading their territory in Medieval times but conveniently forget that if Carlus Martellus (Charles the Hammer) hadn't stopped them at the Battle of Tours in 732CE they would have over run Europe and eventually the world.

[mr_hippo]

"Yes, now bugger off." To his grandson after he asked if he was the greatest man alive.

[lungbing]

Once in his final years he was brought into the House of Commons in a wheelchair somebody said out loud,

"Poor Winston, they say he's ga-ga"

Winston growled "They say he's deaf too"

He had a wonderful life from taking part in the British Army's last cavalry charge at Omdurman in 1898

to his WWII efforts. Possibly the greatest ever Englishman.

[Humphrey Bear]

Not really, they've been around for a long time. They make a big deal of the Crusaders invading their territory in Medieval times but conveniently forget that if Carlus Martellus (Charles the Hammer) hadn't stopped them at the Battle of Tours in 732CE they would have over run Europe and eventually the world.

And again - the Battle of Vienna when Jan Sobieski of Poland stopped them with the assistance of the Serbian nation. No other bugger would help - Europe owes a great debt to the Serbs.