Negative Stereotypes About Thai Women in Relationships with Foreigners

[Hummin]

6 minutes ago, NativeBob said:

just wrong expectations and disappointment later on

I know it is mostly up to me, to make the right decisions. 

 

It is not the women's fault, and thats why you will not see me complaining about Thai women

 

 

[Bday Prang]

2 minutes ago, theblether said:

Lonely? In Thailand? Is that even possible? Would take too much effort,

Yes its possible and for some no effort is required

[RSD1]

1 minute ago, Bday Prang said:

And how capable is he of discussing the intricacies of the female Thai psyche with them

Any foreigner that tells you they got lots of Thai male friends or that they talk deeply with Thai male friends about personal topics, such as the relationship they have their wife, always raises both eyebrows. 

[RSD1]

3 minutes ago, Bday Prang said:

Yes its possible and for some no effort is required

Old, bitter, single, small pension; guess it is possible. 

[Bday Prang]

2 minutes ago, Hummin said:

you will not see me complaining about Thai women

yet  35 minutes ago you wrote...

 

Those who have something positive to say about Thai women is:

Either stupid or Blind

Or both in combination

 

So you won't complain about Thai women ,  but have a very low opinion of those who have something positive to say about them. 

[theblether]

3 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

How many Thai men are you friends with that act like well adjusted, mature adults? 

 

Somewhere between twenty and thirty. 

 

I also know a few genuine headcases. 

 

You remind me of a balloon I met who was an expert on Thailand who realised that after six years in the country he didn't have a single Thai male friend. Not one. 

 

Feel free to go on a Thai man no good rant. The forum is running short of lonely little men spouting an utter crap. 

[Bday Prang]

3 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

Old, bitter, single, small pension; guess it is possible. 

Even when old and single with a small pension it would be possible in theory at least  to live a relatively happy life, but if bitterness creeps in then its a completely different story and no amount of money will help, 

[RSD1]

I've gotta run off now and be lonely. But this yarn looks like it will run at least 10 pages. It's got some meat on the bone. But still not as good as other such captivating topics as toothpaste caps, awful Thai beer brands, delayed ejaculation, or how to avoid getting rolled for your Rolex. 

[RSD1]

3 minutes ago, theblether said:

You remind me of a balloon I met who was an expert on Thailand who realised that after six years in the country he didn't have a single Thai male friend. Not one. 

Well I've been here 6X longer and I still can't buy one either. 

[RSD1]

4 minutes ago, Bday Prang said:

Even when old and single with a small pension it would be possible in theory at least  to live a relatively happy life, but if bitterness creeps in then its a completely different story and no amount of money will help, 

Sounds like you've described 90% of AN posters. Add in mental illness too. I have never been on any other forum where so many appeared to be in such a sad cognitive state. 

[theblether]

5 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

Well I've been here 6X longer and I still can't buy one either. 

 

That is a staggering admission, so painful I'm contemplating being nice to you. 

 

I can recommend a good psychiatrist in CM but he can't cure personality disorders. 

 

Shall I pm you his number? 

 

 

[Gecko123]

3 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

Any foreigner that tells you they got lots of Thai male friends or that they talk deeply with Thai male friends about personal topics, such as the relationship they have their wife, always raises both eyebrows. 

Please note that in your earlier post you asked "how many Thai men are you friends with who act like well adjusted mature adults." Your question implies that well-adjusted Thai males are hard to find which is an ignorant and offensive supposition.

 

If you haven't been able to make any inroads with Thai men, the first place I would look is your language skills. The second thing I would examine is your expectations about the nature of friendships with Thai males. Sounds like a big part of the problem is that you are trying to impose your cultural norm expectations on your relationships which is a recipe for disappointment in Thailand.  By the way, how often do you talk about personal topics with foreign men, whether here or back home? Half the time when you do so with foreign men, you end up regretting it because the confidence is ultimately betrayed.

 

Thai men don't bond and build relationships in the same way that foreign men do. I would say relationships with Thai men are mainly based on helping one another by sharing know-how or lending a helping hand, daily interactions, shared laughter about everyday situations, brief encounters built up over time which gradually break down barriers through mutual displays of respect and appreciation. I have become convinced that making  "friendship" the primary goal with everyone may not necessarily be smart. In recent years, I have become more focused on trying to build a sense of community in my village, which seems to be providing a sturdier foundation for stronger friendship bonds as well. 

 

 

[RSD1]

1 minute ago, theblether said:

 

That is a staggering admission, so painful I'm contemplating being nice to you. 

 

I can recommend a good psychiatrist in CM but he can't cure personality disorders. 

 

Shall I pm you his number? 

 

 

Thank you for your kind offer, but no. I have worked so hard to develop my personality disorder and I certainly don't want to lose it. It took me years of responding to inane data-dumping posts from hopeless tossers like you to get it. 

[RSD1]

2 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

Please note that in your earlier post you asked "how many Thai men are you friends with who act like well adjusted mature adults." Your question implies that well-adjusted Thai males are hard to find which is an ignorant and offensive supposition.

 

If you haven't been able to make any inroads with Thai men, the first place I would look is your language skills. The second thing I would examine is your expectations about the nature of friendships with Thai males. Sounds like a big part of the problem is that you are trying to impose your cultural norm expectations on your relationships which is a recipe for disappointment in Thailand.  By the way, how often do you talk about personal topics with foreign men, whether here or back home? Half the time when you do so with foreign men, you end up regretting it because the confidence is ultimately betrayed.

 

Thai men don't bond and build relationships in the same way that foreign men do. I would say relationships with Thai men are mainly based on helping one another by sharing know-how or lending a helping hand, daily interactions, shared laughter about everyday situations, brief encounters built up over time which gradually break down barriers through mutual displays of respect and appreciation. I have become convinced that making  "friendship" the primary goal with everyone may not necessarily be smart. In recent years, I have become more focused on trying to build a sense of community in my village, which seems to be providing a sturdier foundation for stronger friendship bonds as well. 

 

 

Well, that was fabulously enlightening. I think you've just changed my life. 

[Gecko123]

14 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

Well, that was fabulously enlightening. I think you've just changed my life. 

 

It was written for the benefit of others who might be struggling with this problem as well. I don't sense that you are very open to self-reflection, as you took all of 30 seconds to reflect upon the insights I was gracious enough to share. The phrase "pearls before swine" comes to mind.

 

[RSD1]

What a total bunch of mongrels. Everyone is an expert on someone else sitting behind a keyboard that they have never met. This is all great stuff though. I need more of this assumptive, conjecture based anecdotal rubbish to make my lonely days (without having any Thai male friends) more complete. 

[Gecko123]

1 minute ago, RSD1 said:

What a total bunch of mongrels. Everyone is an expert on someone else sitting behind a keyboard that they have never met. This is all great stuff though. I need more of this assumptive, conjecture based anecdotal rubbish to make my lonely days (without having any Thai male friends) more complete. 

That clicking sound is the sound of people putting you on their ignore lists.

[RSD1]

1 minute ago, Gecko123 said:

 

It was written for the benefit of others who might be struggling with this problem as well. I don't sense that you are very open to self-reflection, and you took all of 1 minute to reflect about the insights gathered over 20 years which I was gracious enough to share. The phrase "pearls before swine" comes to mind.

No, I am fully blessed that you are sharing your deep wisdom and insights (earned over 20 years) with me when I don't even deserve it. It will lead to hours of personal introspection for me. How can I ever repay you?

[RSD1]

1 minute ago, Gecko123 said:

That clicking sound is the sound of people putting you on their ignore lists.

That you for that too. Just a treasure trove of never ending wisdom. The selfless gift giving from you just never ends.

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, Alpha84 said:

Another stereotype is that Thai women are submissive or passive in relationships. Hard to imagine that is true across the board either. Thai society appears fairly diverse so I assume that so are many of the Thai women as well. I'll bet there are plenty who are assertive, independent, and equal partners in their relationships. In fact, I've also read stereotypes about Thai women saying the complete opposite and that they're aggressive, sometimes even violent, and emotionally immature and unstable. So I've seen two stereotypes that contradict each other. I assume both have some degree of accuracy, but I'm wondering which is the more dominant stereotype in daily reality. 

There is an Alpha in every relationship in Thailand. If you are not the Alpha, then she will do it.

 

Apart from that, there are maybe 10 million Thai women in an acceptable age range. They are not all the same. That shouldn't surprise anybody. 

 

 

[NativeBob]

49 minutes ago, Hummin said:

It is not the women's fault, and thats why you will not see me complaining about Thai women

Good point. I also share this attitude. Don't expect rural thai girl/woman to discuss characters of "Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy", cook French delicacies and do what Jeanna Jameson did during her heydays.

[bob smith]

so this is where all the regulars are tonight!

 

my 2 cents..

 

Thai men really look down on Thai women that are married to or are in a relationship with a foriegner.

They are jealous beyond belief and know that we are better endowed and are pleasuring these native women with our 'bigness' daily.

 

They can but dream of being able to make love like we farangs do!

Their 3 inches just does not hit the spot!

 

bob.

[ChaiyaTH]

Negative stereotype? You mean the significant majority of anyone with a thai girlfriend or wife. It are rare exceptions to see real love + matching ages + lasting 5 years or longer here. Let alone if saying 7-10 years, it might be 0.50% of all of them.

 

I wonder what it is here on this forum, with the incredible amounts of ignorance. This while many lived here for decades, under a stone I guess (their wives). If I was wrong on this, it would not even have been a subject, as nobody would experienced onlookers or cliche's.

[theblether]

39 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

Thank you for your kind offer, but no. I have worked so hard to develop my personality disorder and I certainly don't want to lose it. It took me years of responding to inane data-dumping posts from hopeless tossers like you to get it. 

 

Oòh, Touchy. 

 

And you wonder why you don't have any pals?

[MangoKorat]

3 hours ago, Alpha84 said:

One exhausting stereotype I read over and over again is the idea that Thai women are only interested in Western men for financial security. While I know that money can be a factor in any relationship, is it fair to paint so many Thai women with the same brush? They can't all be looking for just one superficial thing. 

Well as you know, only bad news sells.  People rarely find the need to make details of a good relationship public - you're only likely to hear the 'bad news' stories because 'good news' stories just don't sell.

 

The fact is that there are a significant number of Thai women out there that are only interested in a guy's money.  Some of them are also prepared to wait an awful long time to reach their goals and go to great lengths to do so. I know of one woman in the UK who's been with her British husband in the UK for almost 20 years. She hates the weather and still misses home but she knows that she will eventually return to Thailand a relatively rich woman. She works full time in the UK and sends just about every penny of her income back home to her family every month.  How many British guys would put up with their British wife doing that? Her husband in the UK is almost at retirement age and in another 10 years and she'll have enough National Insurance contributions to get a full UK pension when she herself reaches retirement age.

 

She also returns to Thailand to 'visit family' for around a month every year and spends most of that time with her Thai husband - who is also looking forward to her eventual permanent return.

 

I doubt that many Thai women would be prepared to go to such lengths and most of the 'bad ones' I've come across or heard about have tried to get as much as they can in the short term.

 

Being a member here and also of a forum aimed at Brits living with their Thai wives in the UK, apart from the relationship above, I can't think of any Thai/UK relationships I know of that have lasted. Just about every English guy I know that married a Thai woman and lived with them in the UK is now divorced. I also know quite a few living in Thailand that are also divorced but such relationships seem to last longer. Whilst the divorce rate for all marriages is quite high, it appears to be much higher between Thai's and foreigners.

 

Quite a few Thai women marry a foreigner whilst maintaining a relationship with a Thai man who they pass off as a 'brother' or 'cousin'. I've been on the receiving end of that scenario so I know it to be true. The lengths that Thai women will go to and the lies they will tell seem to far exceed those of Western women - at least those I've known. Some are experts at 'fleecing' foreigners and can bleed a well meaning but stupid man dry in a very short time. They are helped by the Thai land laws that prevent a foreigner from owning land in Thailand. The dream of retiring into the sunset with a beautiful young woman and building a home together in the Thai countryside quite often ends in disaster. More than a few foreigners have had to return to their home country penniless and virtually homeless after selling up and moving to Thailand to 'live out their dreams'.

 

One of the determining factors of whether or not a Thai/foreign relationship is genuine may well be a large age difference.  Whilst age differences are more common in many Asian countries, just ask yourself, as a 30 year old, were you interested in 60 year old women? It can and does happen but possibly not quite as often as some foreigners think.

 

Many Thai/Foreign relationships seem to revolve around money with both wives and their families making constant demands.

 

I knew a guy in Pattaya who was 69 when I last saw him (dead now I believe). His girlfriend was 19 but he was under no illusions that she loved him. I never asked but I'm pretty sure he met her when she was working in a bar. As far as I know, they were not married but living togther and they had an agreement - he took care of her financially and she took care of him (in many ways), when he died she would get his condo.  They both knew the score and seemed to be living a good life - nothing wrong with that in my opinion.

 

The stories and scenarios go on and on and yes, they are mostly negative but much of that may be because as I say, good news doesn't sell.

[Hummin]

2 hours ago, Bday Prang said:

yet  35 minutes ago you wrote...

 

Those who have something positive to say about Thai women is:

Either stupid or Blind

Or both in combination

 

So you won't complain about Thai women ,  but have a very low opinion of those who have something positive to say about them. 

That's the nature of the forum when you claim you have a great relationship with a Thai woman, and the irony behind my first statement. 

 

I claim I have a great relationship and I'm happy to build in her name in her village 5min away from her family. 

 

Try it and then try to share your positive experiences 😉👉😁

[Bday Prang]

4 minutes ago, Hummin said:

That's the nature of the forum when you claim you have a great relationship with a Thai woman, and the irony behind my first statement. 

 

I claim I have a great relationship and I'm happy to build in her name in her village 5min away from her family. 

 

Try it and then try to share your positive experiences 😉👉😁

I live immediately adjacent to her family Sister in law and her family  on one side and two brothers in law and their families on the other side  and since the death of the father in law around  8 years ago the mother in law lives with us in our house.

No problems at all to be honest,   Plenty of positives too but I can't say I feel any inclination to share any of them on this forum.  I leave that sort of thing to the facebook generation 

[MalcolmB]

The negative stereotypes come because while every country has hookers, but in most countries the customers do not have the opportunity to marry them. 
 

The Thais take it to another level and hookers marrying foreigners is very common.

[Hummin]

4 hours ago, Bday Prang said:

I think that's a little unfair

Of course it is, I have only good things to say. It was ment to provoke

[Hummin]

3 hours ago, NativeBob said:

Good point. I also share this attitude. Don't expect rural thai girl/woman to discuss characters of "Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy", cook French delicacies and do what Jeanna Jameson did during her heydays.

She cook great international food, even Quiches 😋