Oh Koh Phi Phi, What have you become?

[still kicking]

4 hours ago, Harrisfan said:

Hua Hin is the best place for a beach holiday

I just went to Hua Hin. I don't swim anymore due to my age, but it's it's a nice place 

[Harrisfan]

20 hours ago, FriscoKid said:

I’ve just returned from a (very) short gaycation on the tragic remains of Koh Phi Phi, last seen by me in the early 2000s when I was young, flexible, and hadn’t yet developed opinions about cutlery.

 

Babes, I was not ready. Not emotionally, not physically, not spiritually.

 

The second I step off the boat, I’m greeted by two shirtless twinks in knockoff Prada screaming “20 baht, 20 baht help protect island” like a pair of bankrupt drag queens selling raffle tickets at a Pride afterparty. Naturally, I paid. I’ll hand over cash to anyone who looks good sweaty. Call it a hobby. Later I found out from one of the local rent boys, let’s call him Minty, that none of that cash was going to protect anything. The island looked like a cheap wig left out in a hurricane. Trash everywhere. Broken boards. It was like Fyre Festival but with worse lighting.

 

And the hassle. “Hey man where you go?” “Sexy man you need taxi boat?” “Taxi boat give you big fun.” I thought I’d fallen into some kind of cracked out gay immersive theatre. At one point I genuinely wondered if I was going to get bundled into a longtail boat and sold as a pool boy to a retired German leather daddy. Honestly? Tempting.

 

But the trauma wasn’t over yet. I turn the corner, BAM, the golden arches. McDonald’s. Right there in front of me like the ghost of heterosexual mediocrity past. I almost projectile vomited into my limited edition Tom of Finland beach bag. If I wanted processed meat with dead eyes I’d go back to dating English bankers.

 

Back in 2002 this place was paradise. Little beach shacks serving mystery noodles, gorgeous local boys serving mystery glances, and cocktails that could melt nail polish. Now? It’s credit card machines, influencer trash, and overpriced sadness. Want to swim? 600 baht. Want to pose for Instagram with a cocktail that tastes like floor cleaner? Another 600. Need to relieve yourself after that cocktail disaster? 10 baht to piss. I’ve paid less to get into orgies.

 

And then, as if the gods were mocking me personally, the chanting began. Echoing through the humid air. No more pork, babes. I used to come here for a pork curry and a scandal. Now it’s just halal disappointment and unscented wet wipes. Somewhere deep in my memory I could hear the faint echo of my ex moaning through a mouthful of masaman. Not anymore.

 

By the time I reached 7 Eleven I was broken. 20 baht for a water the size of my patience. Coffee prices that made me clutch my pearls so hard they almost shattered. And don’t get me started on the tourists. It was like Love Island exploded onto a rugby pitch and landed in my line of vision. Shirtless Essex lads, lips filled with filler, tattoos drawn by someone with a head injury, all posing like Greek gods but smelling like foot. Honestly, I haven’t seen that many bad haircuts since Eurovision 2007.

 

Phi Phi, you are still beautiful, like an ageing cabaret singer with glitter in the wrinkles and vodka in her soul. Your beaches make me tingle. Your cliffs still make me hard. But the vibe is over. It’s tacky now. Cheap handbags in a posh shop. Pride parade with no DJ. Ibiza but with worse teeth.

 

One more cockney accent and I’m flinging myself off a limestone cliff in nothing but a neon thong, shouting “Tell Cher I tried.”

 

Rant over.

The Dink.

Phi Phi was crap 20 years ago. Go to Silom. That suits you.

[Harrisfan]

14 hours ago, still kicking said:

I just went to Hua Hin. I don't swim anymore due to my age, but it's it's a nice place 

It is a nice place. Gotten better over the years. The islands are worse. It also has value hotels and not overcrowded.

[spidermike007]

All of the Southern Islands have been decimated over the years with way too many tourists, way too much development, and a commercialism that's rivaled only by Southwestern Bali, which is hell on earth. The only southern island left that has any semblance of normalcy is perhaps Koh Phangan, which is still quite delightful. 

[Formaleins]

On 6/19/2025 at 1:51 PM, Cornish Pasty said:

I’ve just returned from a (very) short holiday on the Island of Koh Phi Phi, my first visit since before the tsunami of 2004.

 

I could not believe my eyes…

 

Straight off the bat you are greeted by 2 men screaming ‘20 baht, 20 baht help protect island..’

 

Of course I paid and went on my way (you don’t have much choice really).. I later found out through a local who lived there that the 20 baht doesn’t go to cleaning up the island, it was covered in trash and smashed up from a storm last year. Nothing was actively being fixed. And then the hassle starts. “hey man, where you go?” “you need taxi boat?” “man, taxi boat..” Relentless hassle from the moment you step onto the shore.

 

And then I saw it, the dreaded golden arches, right there in front of my face. It was a Mcdonalds…

I almost threw up on myself.

 

When I was last there (around 2002) all that was there were a few local eateries and a couple of local bars. Mass tourism hadn’t even kicked off yet, but my god has it kicked off now.. It’s all money, money, money. Even if you want to go and swim/snorkel in the bay they charge you 600 baht for the day, also 600 baht to rent a deck chair for the afternoon!! Most places along the beach also charge PAYING CUSTOMERS 10 baht per piss as well..

 

Then there’s the muslim chants. I hadn’t noticed it in 2002, but apparently Phi Phi is 80% muslim now, not sure if it was back then. I distinctly remember having a masaman pork curry with my ex when I first landed. Not the case now, it’s definitely a pork free zone..

 

I thought I was dreaming. Then I went to the 7/11. 20 baht for a small water. You are lucky if you can find a coffee for less than 100, and that would only be a tiny cup. Then theres the tourists. and oh so many tourists… I thought I had gotten off the boat in the middle of Chelsea! Full of young, tatted up, permed up, shirtless cockneys posting on social media all day, telling everyone back home how great the island is… If only they knew.

 

Phi Phi, you are naturally beautiful. Your beaches are amazing, your limestone cliffs are top notch too, but for gods sake PLEASE drop the mass tourism model before it’s too late. I swear, if I hear another cockney accent within the next 48 hours I’m gonna go back and jump off of one of those aforementioned limestone cliffs..

 

Rant over.

 

Mark.

I went to Koh Phi Phi Lek about 20 years ago, it was unspoiled, hardly any tourists, great swimming and snorkelling , beautiful scenery, great guest houses and hotels restaurants and bars, all very much on the quiet side.

 

All of this totally ruined! Just like Phuket, I'll never go back again, totally spoiled.

[Scouse123]

34 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

The only southern island left that has any semblance of normalcy is perhaps Koh Phangan, which is still quite delightful. 

 

Except on the full moon parties, I suppose.

[Real Name Hidden]

I visited Koh Phi Phi during covid, it was very nice, 90% of the businesses were closed.  

 

 

I also visited Ko Lipe.

[spidermike007]

2 hours ago, Scouse123 said:

 

Except on the full moon parties, I suppose.

Correct. And those are quite easy to avoid. 

[Scouse123]

2 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

Correct. And those are quite easy to avoid. 

 

I am thinking of visiting two islands later this year: Koh Chang, which I know, and then crossing over to Koh Kood for 3 nights.

[Real Name Hidden]

1 minute ago, Scouse123 said:

 

I am thinking of visiting two islands later this year: Koh Chang, which I know, and then crossing over to Koh Kood for 3 nights.

FYI: You can save several hours by taking a speedboat from Bang Bao on Koh Chang, takes 2 hours to Koh Kood instead of 6-7 hours going back to the mainland, but they never had life jackets when I took it. TiT

[Hummin]

If you don't like Muslims because they are Muslims, don't go to Krabi.

 

Simple as that

 

When that is said, best people in Thailand, but Phi Phi is a sh.t hole and have been for 25 years. Never liked the place. 

[Rimmer]

Off topic bickering posts and replies have been removed