Weights and Maybe a Date — Gym Shenanigans in Patts innit

[Lewie London]

So I’m down the gym yesterday morn, yeah. Me usual twice-a-week shuffle on the treadmill, whether I need it or not lads, bit of token bicep curling to keep the bingo wings at bay. Not there to break records, nah, just keep the pipes in working order, know what I mean?

 

Anyway, I clock this bird across the way, strugglin’ with the lat pulldown like she’s tryin’ to launch a space rocket backwards. She’s leanin’ so far back she’s practically horizontal, legs kickin’ all about like she’s wrestlin’ an angry ghost. Thought she was gonna catapult herself straight through the bloody mirror, mates.

 

So I stroll over, all casual, give her the nod, and drop a quick tip on how not to snap her spine like a KitKat. She blushes, says thanks in that cute way Thai girls do when they know they’ve just made a total muppet of themselves. Then she asks if I could show her a couple more machines so she doesn’t end up in traction.

 

One thing leads to another, we’re movin’ around the gym floor together, me showin’ her how not to turn herself into a pretzel on the leg press, her laughing at me dumb jokes about gym bros who skip leg day. Turns out she’s a grad student here on a gap year from Chiang Mai, loves her durian smoothies, and hates cardio even more than I do, reckons burpees were invented by Satan himself. Can’t argue with that bit.

 

After an hour of muckin’ about, she says she’s starvin’ and asks if I fancy joinin’ her for lunch at the noodle gaff across the street. Next thing I know we’re sat there slurpin’ tom yum together, talkin’ about everything from Thai soap operas with more plot twists than a government cabinet reshuffle to how the gym mirrors make you look like a boiled prawn.

 

Before we part ways she flashes me her Line ID on a QR and I add her. Then she says we should train together again soon. Sweet one, but this is Pattaya, problem is you never know if you’re helpin’ a damsel in distress or starin’ down the barrel of your next cautionary tale.
 

What do you reckon? Give her a go?

[HappyExpat57]

Nothing ventured, nothing gained I always say.

 

And a big raspberry to those naysayers who can't just leave the thumbs down alone. Sad, lonely little lives you must have  (and just WATCH how many of them out themselves on this post).

[blaze master]

Why is there an em dash in every post by this member. Also why has the op never replied to any of the threads. 

[Lacessit]

1 hour ago, blaze master said:

Why is there an em dash in every post by this member. Also why has the op never replied to any of the threads. 

Maybe he/she/it does not feel like responding to nattering nabobs of negativity.

[theshu25]

1 hour ago, blaze master said:

Why is there an em dash in every post by this member. Also why has the op never replied to any of the threads. 

Because this person tells more lies then anyone in the history of this site.

[HappyExpat57]

25 minutes ago, theshu25 said:

Because this person tells more lies then anyone in the history of this site.

So what?

[papa al]

5 hours ago, Lewie London said:

So I’m down the gym yesterday morn, yeah. Me usual twice-a-week shuffle on the treadmill, whether I need it or not lads, bit of token bicep curling to keep the bingo wings at bay. Not there to break records, nah, just keep the pipes in working order, know what I mean?

 

Anyway, I clock this bird across the way, strugglin’ with the lat pulldown like she’s tryin’ to launch a space rocket backwards. She’s leanin’ so far back she’s practically horizontal, legs kickin’ all about like she’s wrestlin’ an angry ghost. Thought she was gonna catapult herself straight through the bloody mirror, mates.

 

So I stroll over, all casual, give her the nod, and drop a quick tip on how not to snap her spine like a KitKat. She blushes, says thanks in that cute way Thai girls do when they know they’ve just made a total muppet of themselves. Then she asks if I could show her a couple more machines so she doesn’t end up in traction.

 

One thing leads to another, we’re movin’ around the gym floor together, me showin’ her how not to turn herself into a pretzel on the leg press, her laughing at me dumb jokes about gym bros who skip leg day. Turns out she’s a grad student here on a gap year from Chiang Mai, loves her durian smoothies, and hates cardio even more than I do, reckons burpees were invented by Satan himself. Can’t argue with that bit.

 

After an hour of muckin’ about, she says she’s starvin’ and asks if I fancy joinin’ her for lunch at the noodle gaff across the street. Next thing I know we’re sat there slurpin’ tom yum together, talkin’ about everything from Thai soap operas with more plot twists than a government cabinet reshuffle to how the gym mirrors make you look like a boiled prawn.

 

Before we part ways she flashes me her Line ID on a QR and I add her. Then she says we should train together again soon. Sweet one, but this is Pattaya, problem is you never know if you’re helpin’ a damsel in distress or starin’ down the barrel of your next cautionary tale.
 

What do you reckon? Give her a go?

Totally believable.

he exact same thing happened to papa,!

[Ralf001]

2 hours ago, blaze master said:

Why is there an em dash in every post by this member. Also why has the op never replied to any of the threads. 

 

He is paid to create threads, not reply to them.

[EVENKEEL]

31 minutes ago, Ralf001 said:

 

He is paid to create threads, not reply to them.

That's going to cost you. Bye-bye

[KannikaP]

52 minutes ago, HappyExpat57 said:

So what?

I used to love reading Aesop's Fables when I was 5 years old. 555

[blaze master]

1 hour ago, Lacessit said:

Maybe he/she/it does not feel like responding to nattering nabobs of negativity.

 

Oh boy.

[FolkGuitar]

3 hours ago, blaze master said:

Why is there an em dash in every post by this member. Also why has the op never replied to any of the threads. 

Why should he reply? He is posting a piece of fiction. He knows it. We know it. The only ones who don't seem to be able to grasp that are the ones that need to bitch and moan daily.

1 hour ago, Lacessit said:

Maybe he/she/it does not feel like responding to nattering nabobs of negativity.

Makes sense to me. 

1 hour ago, theshu25 said:

Because this person tells more lies then anyone in the history of this site.

Aren't you even a little bit embarrassed?  'Fiction' IS all made up. That's why it's called 'fiction.'

19 minutes ago, Ralf001 said:

 

He is paid to create threads, not reply to them.

That's funnier than many of the stories I read these days. Who is going to pay anyone to create these? I doubt AN gets any value from you reading Lewie's posts. What WE get is 3 minutes of pleasant reading, then a few days laughing at the complainers. AN doesn't get much from this at all.

[FolkGuitar]

Another 'Thanks!' to Lewie for yet another slice of Pattaya life. I didn't care for this one as much as the others. It was missing that little bit of drama so necessary to build a story's climax. That said, it was still a pleasant read over my morning cup of Keemun tea!

Thanks again, Lewie!  Please keep 'em coming!

[blaze master]

3 minutes ago, FolkGuitar said:

Why should he reply? He is posting a piece of fiction. He knows it. We know it. The only ones who don't seem to be able to grasp that are the ones that need to bitch and moan daily.

 

Feeble minds are easily entertained I suppose. 

 

 

Carry  on.

[FolkGuitar]

Just now, blaze master said:

 

Feeble minds are easily entertained I suppose. 

 

 

Carry  on.

 

Why do you find it necessary to call people names?