Thai/farang Young/old Relationships

[esbobes]

Don't spoil her, don't give her anything.... if this changes her attitude then you know why she's with you.

or Hire a good PI to check her out while you're away... you might be surprised that you're not the only one in love/lust with her, who knows.

How can you say that you known that answer. If she does not have others in love/lust their must be something wrong with her.

[esbobes]

We have been together for almost 2 years.

We have a blast when I'm there and we travel in and outside Thailand, I spoil her on the holidays,

I have sowed some rather wild oats in BKK and am really to take it easy and enter a new phase of my life..really. And she has laid down the law..screw around and she's gone!!!

I plan to work maybe 7 more years in the USA going and coming as I do and then and bring a $ mill to retire. Do we have a chance..

- Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Get too close and you might spoil the recipe for 2 yrs of success.

- Nothing wrong with the spoiling her. We all do that, male & female. But if you plan to retire with a million$, your spoiling ability will run out in 5-10 years just when your marriage hits the strained period. When you blow in, you are doing it for a limited time. If she has come to expect "spoiling" 24/7 once you get there, you will go broke fast.

Besides, $1MM isn't enough to retire on. Sorry, but if you are used to the high life, it isn't.

- An educated Thai lady, doesn't usually go out with an older farang unless he is of appropriate social status. With all due respect, the USA churns out attorneys in surplus each year. Being an attorney today is to law what being a cubicle clerk is to Unilever. There is maybe something in her past unknown to you that matches your sowing of wild oats, or she may come from a family in debt etc. Can you deal with that? Are you ready for that?

- The part about putting her foot down. Well, I gotta say, that makes her pretty smart in my books. She's not going to be pushed around or humiliated. A guy could do well to have a girl like that around. She might also be strong enough to rip you apart once she decides to upgrade to a cuter boytoy.

Look, if you are happy and this makes you happy, go for it. Life is way to short to let anyone pee on your parade. Maybe a couple years of happiness or even a lifetime is worth the risk. For all you know, you could be dead in 3 years. Just keep a sum of money in trust back in the USA so that no one can ever get at it except your own legal counsel. This way you will always have something to fall back on just in case.

Do clerks at Unilever make more than a American lawyer?

He is a lawyer and when the Thai girl is in America he can sue her as he is a big rich lawyer.

I thin he as a lawyer loves himself more than his Thai Girl Friend.

Right now he is problay looking to sue me However I has a Thai have about 20,000 baht to my name

Ha ha ha ha

Edited September 13, 2007 by esbobes

[GuestHouse]

Time for some wise words I think..... ..... (so listen up and don't switch off your ears just becauses you don't like what you are hearing - the truths like that some times)..here we go...

'A fool and his money are easily parted'

and...

'There's no fool like and old fool'.

[GuestHouse]

And then there is the one I've made up myself (which I have yet to see proven wrong)

'The biggest lies told in Thailand are the ones foreigners tell themselves'

[Maigo6]

And then there is the one I've made up myself (which I have yet to see proven wrong)

'The biggest lies told in Thailand are the ones foreigners tell themselves'

All except you of course, cos you're different.

[wolfmanjack]

girls in hotel management meet a lot of foreign men, but since you look 10 years younger than 50 I am sure you have nothing to worry about. from what youve told us, it sounds like true love.

Brad Pitt is over 40 so is Tom Cruise, would a Thai girl of 21 be kidding herself if she thought people could possibly believe she could fall in love with an older man?

Let's face it, they are attractive, rich, and probably really interesting worldly wise guys, or do you think she should fall in love with a spotty teenager with the same capacity for conversation and insight as Blizzard?

Sorry Blizzard, but you just come across as a type of guy I can catagorise, label, departmentalise, and diss.

Yeah now that he told us his fat azz is rolling around on the floor i will get the image of Randy in my mind when i see his id.

Actually blizzard is a pretty good id for him since his mind is in a blizzard so thick he can't see his hand in front of his face. I suspect he picked it because he eats so many blizzards at Dairy Queen.

[blizzard]

what are you trying to say guest hoose? lawyers dont relate well to the real world.

does yr wife know you diss her on thaivisa.....................lol. no booty call for you if she finds out, which she will as she is that kind of gurl.

Edited September 13, 2007 by blizzard

[Maigo6]

what are you trying to say guest hoose? lawyers dont relate well to the real world.

Not all Lawyers , his Lawyers different.

Edited September 13, 2007 by Maigo6

[Maigo6]

Time for some wise words I think..... .....

'There's no fool like and old fool'.

Guesthouse speaks from experience ?

[realmadrid25]

"Brad Pitt is over 40 so is Tom Cruise, would a Thai girl of 21 be kidding herself if she thought people could possibly believe she could fall in love with an older man?"

What does this have to do with my statement? All I said was that girls in this industry spend all of their time around farang. So maybe when he goes home she sits home doing yoga all night waiting for his next email or maybe she finds another 50 year old who looks 10 years younger to 'spoil her' as as he put it.

good luck i really could careless.

[meandwi]

Yes here we go again!!!!

The age old question..the facts..Shes a 21 year old full time University student graduation in May 08. She just completed her 13 week hotel mamangement training prgm ata top BKK hotel. Her mind is older...She lives in BKK and I support her. Me I'm a 49 year old practicing atty living in the USA in BKK 5-6 times a year 3 weeks each time. I look (really.. thanks dad for the good genes 10 years younger and and in good shape 163lbs 5'10. I have all my thick drk brown hair . She's tall for a Thai and comes in at 44kilos. We have been together for almost 2 years.

We have a blast when I'm there and we travel in and outside Thailand, I spoil her on the holidays, ..Her Engish is about 80% and we plan to apply for a USA student visa for the upcoming year for an ESL for professionals course. I have sowed some rather wild oats in BKK and am really to take it easy and enter a new phase of my life..really. And she has laid down the law..screw around and she's gone!!! I plan to work maybe 7 more years in the USA going and coming as I do and then and bring a $ mill to retire. I'm ready to pop the question and shes waiting...is there anyone here that can talk me down??? Do we have a chance..I'd really like to hear from the experts here..

Thanks

1. Be honest. Nothing will last that is dishonest.

2. Meet the parents. Getting family approval is a big deal. Bring a family member or close friend. Stay with them for a few days. Let them see your heart.

3. Trust. If you trust her, she will trust you.

4. Make sure your family and friends approve. Life here will be terrible if she is not welcomed with open arms.

5. Keep your promises.

[WaiWai]

Have you met the family at all ? (Sorry if that's been mentioned; haven't read it all).

My personal opinion is that 21 and yet to graduate is much too young for such a decision, particularly when age & cultural difference are involved. What's the rush to marry and whisk her away from family & peers ? The first years in the workforce are important years when most people develop quite a bit. Let her have some years of independence, both financial & social, so she knows she can always stand on her own two feet if needed. Also let her enjoy those relatively carefree early 20's, as you did. Plenty of time to get married and settle down later, if that is the destiny of the relationship.

[jts-khorat]

For all you know, you could be dead in 3 years.

I guess such boundless optimism #really# will make the OP feel better...

[iminthailand]

I have never met a thai girl who did not cheat on her farong boyfriend when he is out of the country. Most of them (ones I do or don't shag) we end up having a laugh about how they get money from their bf. My friends have pretty much had the same experiences. This includes university girls.

I'm not saying ALL girls are like this but its ridiculusly standard. If there are absolutely any hints she is cheating on you she is.

[Heng]

"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age. "

-Dazed and Confused (1993)

[meemiathai]

I am not sure which one it is,

1)The young girl being exploited because she is poor?

or

2)The old man being cheated on being he is rich?

34 yrs difference only!

Anyone knows?

I will be shocked if anyone mentions love here!

Edited September 13, 2007 by meemiathai

[jetjock]

Have you met the family at all ? (Sorry if that's been mentioned; haven't read it all).

My personal opinion is that 21 and yet to graduate is much too young for such a decision, particularly when age & cultural difference are involved. What's the rush to marry and whisk her away from family & peers ? The first years in the workforce are important years when most people develop quite a bit. Let her have some years of independence, both financial & social, so she knows she can always stand on her own two feet if needed. Also let her enjoy those relatively carefree early 20's, as you did. Plenty of time to get married and settle down later, if that is the destiny of the relationship.

Excellent advice 'waiwai'. I think your advice applies to anyone planning on marrying a girl of that age regardless of the age difference. IMHO it usually takes a girl until her mid twenties until she has enough life experience to make the transition into being a woman that has some idea of what she really wants for her life.

[BADBRAD]

Oh yeah, and at least one member with their head in their azz!

I admire a man that can admit his faults.

Here's to you Brad..............

Thanks Maigo, I was waiting for that!

[meemiathai]

The Chinese man in the photo is 52(51 in the photo) and is a well known movie star in HK. He is quite well known as well in Thailand I guess. I don't see he will have any problems dating 18 yr olds in Thailand!

And for those who blame girls cheating you for money, you yourselves are the only ones to be blamed! You lost the battle between you and your own money. The girl chose the money instead of you! Obviously you yourself are not as good as the money you have.

I have always had problems the other way round. I want girls to love my money more than me. Go figure!

[meemiathai]

Have you met the family at all ? (Sorry if that's been mentioned; haven't read it all).

My personal opinion is that 21 and yet to graduate is much too young for such a decision, particularly when age & cultural difference are involved. What's the rush to marry and whisk her away from family & peers ? The first years in the workforce are important years when most people develop quite a bit. Let her have some years of independence, both financial & social, so she knows she can always stand on her own two feet if needed. Also let her enjoy those relatively carefree early 20's, as you did. Plenty of time to get married and settle down later, if that is the destiny of the relationship.

Excellent advice 'waiwai'. I think your advice applies to anyone planning on marrying a girl of that age regardless of the age difference. IMHO it usually takes a girl until her mid twenties until she has enough life experience to make the transition into being a woman that has some idea of what she really wants for her life.

Agreed but maybe it is the girl who is in a rush.

[Maigo6]

Oh yeah, and at least one member with their head in their azz!

I admire a man that can admit his faults.

Here's to you Brad..............

Thanks Maigo, I was waiting for that!

lol, you kinda fell into that one and I couldn't resist it!

[Maigo6]

I have never met a thai girl who did not cheat on her farong boyfriend when he is out of the country.

I have.

[esbobes]

I have never met a thai girl who did not cheat on her farong boyfriend when he is out of the country. Most of them (ones I do or don't shag) we end up having a laugh about how they get money from their bf. My friends have pretty much had the same experiences. This includes university girls.

I'm not saying ALL girls are like this but its ridiculusly standard. If there are absolutely any hints she is cheating on you she is.

Someday you will be hunted down like the dog you are.

Keep on braging you sick fool

[GuestHouse]

Guesthouse speaks from experience ?

I do indeed.

I recall very well what I was getting up to when I was at Univeristy, and I don't recall any shortage of female students willing to join in the fun.

[meemiathai]

I have never met a thai girl who did not cheat on her farong boyfriend when he is out of the country.

I have.

I haven't. I am blind.

[iminthailand]

Someday you will be hunted down like the dog you are.

Keep on braging you sick fool

I don't understand why you're so angry. Its not like these girls even think twice about their boyfriends. They're just happy to have the money. I will admit that my sample size is skewed because if they had truely monogamous relationships they would be less likely to talk to go out and meet other farong but its not like I'm breaking up loving unions. I just think sending money to a thai girl while you are out of the country is just about the stupidest thing you can do in most cases. Particularily if your relationship is probably for money anyway (you're 40-60, shes 20-30).

Again, there are exceptions, and I always give the benefit of the doubt but the odds are pretty bad for the farong in this regard. Meh I could rant about this for awhile but I'd probably make enemies. I'm just saying general observations. I understand it is theoretically possible for a 49 yr old and a 21 yr old to have a meaningful relationship. I'd give OP about 20 to 1 odds his girl is getting railed by another dude right now though and 50 to 1 she has in the since OP left. If you don't like those odds I'd be curious to see what you put them at.

I don't understand, does OP think he is THAT sexy/interesting/rich/fun to be with etc, that he is really the love of this girls life. Does OP have 20 yr old girls throwing themselves at him in his home country? If not why are they doing it in thailand and not there? If the answer is 'cause she's poor then most poor girls in thailand (as well as as a lot of other countries) think about 30 sec into the future which is easily less than the months or years it takes to wait for OP.

Meh, I'm sorta being an ass here, but I think it is all true and people should understand this before it bites them later.

Edited September 13, 2007 by iminthailand

[endure]

It's about time some of you folks reminded yourselves of the rules you agreed to follow when you joined Thaivisa. Specifically these two:

"2) Posting another members personal details, photos or web site details is forbidden and will result in being banned. Excessive, aggressive posts against other members, moderators and admin; or flaming will not be tolerated. 'Flaming' is best defined as posting or responding to a message in a way clearly intended to incite useless arguments, rants, and/or for launching personal attacks, insulting, being hateful, useless criticism, name calling, swearing and other bad behavior or comments meant to incite anger."

"3) Religious or racial slurs, rude and degrading comments towards women, or extremely negative views of Thailand will not be tolerated."

[iminthailand]

It's about time some of you folks reminded yourselves of the rules you agreed to follow when you joined Thaivisa. Specifically these two:

"2) Posting another members personal details, photos or web site details is forbidden and will result in being banned. Excessive, aggressive posts against other members, moderators and admin; or flaming will not be tolerated. 'Flaming' is best defined as posting or responding to a message in a way clearly intended to incite useless arguments, rants, and/or for launching personal attacks, insulting, being hateful, useless criticism, name calling, swearing and other bad behavior or comments meant to incite anger."

"3) Religious or racial slurs, rude and degrading comments towards women, or extremely negative views of Thailand will not be tolerated."

If I broke any of these rules I'm sorry. Please let me know where I crossed the line and edit my post if necessary. Also, regardless of if I broke any rules

"Someday you will be hunted down like the dog you are.

Keep on braging you sick fool "

Almost certainly did

Edited September 13, 2007 by iminthailand

[wolfmanjack]

.

3. Trust. If you trust her, she will trust you.

We are working at a disadvantage here. Right or wrong there is the perception here All falangs are rich and the ones that do not appear to be are pretending. I know a few people that have lost all of their money and their wives are still expecting them to bring more from their home country. The other perception is that All falangs if not all men cheat. There are so many thai men that cheat on their wives that it makes many women think their husbands are cheating on them. There are also so many falang men that are cheating on their wives that the same perception is extended to falangs.

I stopped in bar to have a beer with a friend and a girl that worked there asked me to have a meeting somewhere else. I told her i was married. Her instant reply was that i was the first man that she had met that it mattered to and she wished she could find someone like that for herself. So when it comes to trust her and she will trust you i would say it is an uphill battle. In 9 years of being with my wife she still checks to see if i am cheating on her even though there has been no indication that i have.

[geriatrickid]

For all you know, you could be dead in 3 years.

I guess such boundless optimism #really# will make the OP feel better...

umm yea, I know. Sorry. Should I have said, before he gets ED????

With the way tuktuks and drunk farangs speed around here, anything can happen. So he might as well go for it .