One Earner....or Two Earners - In Your Family?

[kmart]

a wife should not work except if it's for the well being of her husband. any husband who thinks his wife has to work for money is a loser. if he thinks the wife has to work to keep her "occupied" he has married the wrong wife. PERIOD!

go ahead and trample on me. i am a masochist

p.s. behind every successful man stands a woman (not necessarily a wife). most of the time his success is based on the wife's/woman's capability to handle all sh*tty problems in the background in order that the husband/man can concentrate on his job. having said so, i insist that the job of a wife is as important as the job of a husband. i'm not an expert but my best guess is that my theory applies to gay relations too.

Thanks for sorting that one out, Doc. And lets bring back "witch trials" also shall we?

[Neeranam]

you would be more happy for her to stay home - having children, sewing, cooking, cleaning, running a spotless home, refilling your beer glasses, fulfilling your every needs, wants, desires (physically and emotionally) etc. - while keeping herself looking fresh at all times!….due to a relative low wages she’s getting in return if she’s to work outside the house.

I'm the only earner as we have more than enough with my salary.

[Neeranam]

you would be more happy for her to stay home - having children, sewing, cooking, cleaning, running a spotless home, refilling your beer glasses, fulfilling your every needs, wants, desires (physically and emotionally) etc. - while keeping herself looking fresh at all times!….due to a relative low wages she's getting in return if she's to work outside the house.

I'm the only earner as we have more than enough with my salary.

You can let the air out of your chest now we are all suitably impressed

Impressed, why?

[Bjorn]

It's up to my wife if she wants to work or not. I put no pressure on her in this case. She choose to take care of the house and that's fine with me. I've told her that if she starts to work, she will not bring home more than maximium 15-20,000 THB per month so why worry about work? Makes no difference money-wise. As I said, it's really up to her to decide what to do.

[Neeranam]

Impressed at your high earning ability, you felt the need to let everyone know why your wife doesn't work, I felt the need to tell you we are impressed, its not rocket science.

If she is bored while you are out at work let me know I will pop round and keep her company

I don't earn a high salary, who said I do?

It ain't rocket science. More than enough doesn't mean a lot.

Sexual remarks about my wife are well out of order (especially from a Pattaya sexpat who thinks all Thai women are the same as their sex-toys).

Edited October 11, 2007 by Neeranam

[cdnvic]

My wife would get bored without having some work to do. The second income doesn't hurt either. IMO those who insist on their spouse staying at home and not working have gotten the definitions of "spouse" and "pet" mixed up.

[Neeranam]

Impressed at your high earning ability, you felt the need to let everyone know why your wife doesn't work, I felt the need to tell you we are impressed, its not rocket science.

If she is bored while you are out at work let me know I will pop round and keep her company

I don't earn a high salary, who said I do?

It ain't rocket science. More than enough doesn't mean a lot.

Sexual remarks about my wife are well out of order (especially from a Pattaya sexpat who thinks all Thai women are the same as their sex-toys).

Nice one, we must have met before if you know me that well has your wife never worked? if not how did you meet her?

Unbelievable - it is possible to meet women outside a working environment.

[Gary A]

We live up country. My wife was talking about going to work because she was bored. I bought her some land and put in a pond. She now stays VERY busy with her fish and farming. It's not necessary for her to work and I really don't like the idea of her working. but I want her happy.

[quiksilva]

Everyone's earning in our house. Its not just about the money, (although thats nice too) its about being able to hold your head up high.

does that mean my wife and me have to hang our heads in shame?

Only you can decide that.

[GuestHouse]

a wife should not work except if it's for the well being of her husband. any husband who thinks his wife has to work for money is a loser

Yeh right - and what about some consideration of what is good for the wife?

My income is such that my wife does not have to work in order to earn money to support our hosuehold - but she chooses to work (both paid work and volunatry work). She does so because she wants to contribute and because she wants to have her 'own money'.

This despite having a very comfortable income from property she rents out in Thailand.

So the reasons she wants to work are all to do with her feelings of contributing and being involved rather than financial.

I suspect that Teacup will feel very much the same after the 'joy' of chilling out has passed and the tedium of endless relaxation sets in.

It's a common enough thread here on TV - guys relaxing in Thailand and then finding that they need something to do in life.

Another factor is 'degree of contribution' - life in Thailand is not as cheap as it was and continually getting more expensive.

I can certainly undestand the husband's feelings here if the wife has a pension income sufficient for herself, but the wider family costs are being born by the husband - especially so if those costs are set to rise in the future.

[CWMcMurray]

We only have one earner in our family since my wife got pregnant, she worked for the first couple of months but she had a difficult pregnacy and I finally was able to convince her to stay home and take it easy at least until she was feeling better.

We had many conversations on this topic and she decided that if we could afford it she would like to stay home and raise our daughter. I didn't presure her in any way, we discussed the pros and cons of her working, the salary that she would bring in and the additional costs of day care.

At the end of the day, the additional ammount that she would bring in was not all that much once you consider the cost of hiring a nanny as well as her transportation and other costs. You also have figure into this being able to find a nanny you can trust and the quality of life we would have considering the number of hours that she would need to put in at work.

Once our daughter goes back to school she said she may decide to go back to work, and if she does decide to do that I would support her decision.

Edited October 11, 2007 by CWMcMurray

[Naam]

a wife should not work except if it's for the well being of her husband. any husband who thinks his wife has to work for money is a loser

Yeh right - and what about some consideration of what is good for the wife?

My income is such that my wife does not have to work in order to earn money to support our hosuehold - but she chooses to work (both paid work and volunatry work). She does so because she wants to contribute and because she wants to have her 'own money'.

This despite having a very comfortable income from property she rents out in Thailand.

So the reasons she wants to work are all to do with her feelings of contributing and being involved rather than financial.

nothing wrong with that GH!

[duratanium]

All I can say is that the ex stopped work as she worked 10 hours a day + travel time to/from work. Problem was after 3 months she was bored. Thai tv, some housework, and more Thai tv., sitting on the patio drinking iced green tea, calling in on relatives now and again.

Unless you have something to do, 'retirement' can become dull and lifeless. I feel you need a certain mind-set to be able to sit all day with nothing to do. Ask many retired people who potter about in the garden or similar activities. We all need a goal in life. Part time work is not so easily come by in Thailand, so to give her something to do, a 10 metre long hole was dug out the back of the house and she now keeps fish that she sells. This helps give her something to do and also gives her her own money. Also now she grows banana, lemons and has various other treesand plants she tends to and is on the committe for the local credit union. And all the happier for it.

Maybe your husband can see boredom for you in the future and that is why he wants you to find something productive?

[villagefarang]

After reading this is seems people can't figure out what to do unless the "Boss" is forcing them to do it.

Can one only be proud if one doesn't have enough money to live on?

Working hard seems more important than working smart or efficiently.

Is there no pleasure in life other than being someone else's "slave" for hire.

I am sympathetic with the majority who have no choice but to work, but it sounds like many of you have a choice but lack the initiative or imagination to envision a life free from "work".

I guess someone has to buy into the status-quo.

[teacup]

sounds like you have done more than your fair share of work, while living overseas. From your well written English, you must have a good education. Hopefully, your husband is a well educated, fair-minded & rational gent. Having a happy wife, who takes care of the house & his personal needs, is is something of value. I hope he will realize this & let you set your own agenda with regard to work, particularly if money, or lack thereof, is not the issue. My lovely, quit her job when she entered into a relationship with me (living in Thailand), complains about not having enough money, but has no desire or motivation to return to work. She takes good care of the house, but spends most of her free time watching Thai soap operas. I consider myself lucky, as most other women I have encountered here are only interested in sucking money from Farangs & doing nothing in return. Forget about them doing housework, laundry, cooking, etc. Your husband should be fortunate to have a good wife, compared to what I have seen is available.

Yes I had done my fair shares of many sleepless nights, walking 5 miles in 10 min between classes while eating lunch, in addition to protesting against greenhouse effects, lab mice cruelty, tuition fee increase for international students, and overpriced & under serviced of the college dorms, etc. But the most important thing is I was there to be educated on something that has been my passion since when a little girl while many of my friends in Thailand were hooking up with their crush. It sets me up for the rest of my life doing what I love and passionate about and it pays well.

I choose to work all these times because it allows me to be self-sufficient and due to the nature of my job I feel as if I’m a part of something exciting and stimulating. Even doing what you enjoy sometimes it can be tiresome too if you have customers like mine and lately they’re more demanding than ever, up to a point I just want to get away from them all, at least for awhile anyway. The problem is I have a professional degree that won’t be able to use it in Thailand, that’s why I just want to take only a mini break, and because we’re too young to be in retirement anyway – still at least a few decades to go.

I have tried to explain to him that relaxing doesn’t necessary means staying in a backyard and dig the bones all day. I’m sure there are always other projects and ideas that can be built on that I may find them interesting too thus expand my knowledge horizon.

Yes he’s quite educated, high octane man that seems to be on the go all the times. In addition he doesn’t believe in early retirement (waay too early, I mean in our case) because he thinks it’s a sign of lazyness.

[wileycoyote]

Joseph Conrad " There is a certain courage and enjoyment in work and achieving a task"

2 Earners

Wiley Coyote

[FarangNoi21]

Everyone's earning in our house. Its not just about the money, (although thats nice too) its about being able to hold your head up high.

its sad to me how many people define themselves by their job. its easy for me to make money, but i have so many intersts besides my work that i would never allow, let alone want my job to define who i am. i would never associate work and pride. that sounds like something poor people who dont understand money do. "did you know david beckham's dad still works for the electric company?"

human beings are such silly creatures. i take pride in the ability to think rationally.

[FarangNoi21]

Typical middle range earning Thai-Chinese krongsri here both on my side and wife's side of the family... everyone is an earner unless they are still undergrads or below. Your main income streams are yours but you also have income streams from investments in other family businesses (say if you help run or perhaps help set up a business... you might get 5-10% or whatever here and there). When balanced (not all krongsri's are), it keeps everyone focused, diligent, and it's a pretty good checks and balance system too: from the financial point of view and family relations point of view... you don't get a situation where only one person wears the pants because everyone has several pair.

when new business are started, are contracts actually drawn up or is everything done under the premise of "well work it out later?"... the system you describe sounds like a complete mess where those bad at business end up mooching off of those who are successful, although if you come from a rich enough family someone can project an image of a successful mover and shaker even if they are lossing money in their investments and business.

[Heng]

Typical middle range earning Thai-Chinese krongsri here both on my side and wife's side of the family... everyone is an earner unless they are still undergrads or below. Your main income streams are yours but you also have income streams from investments in other family businesses (say if you help run or perhaps help set up a business... you might get 5-10% or whatever here and there). When balanced (not all krongsri's are), it keeps everyone focused, diligent, and it's a pretty good checks and balance system too: from the financial point of view and family relations point of view... you don't get a situation where only one person wears the pants because everyone has several pair.

when new business are started, are contracts actually drawn up or is everything done under the premise of "well work it out later?"... the system you describe sounds like a complete mess where those bad at business end up mooching off of those who are successful, although if you come from a rich enough family someone can project an image of a successful mover and shaker even if they are lossing money in their investments and business.

For our family, most of our businesses are either incorporated or at least registered parterships so yes, shares are typically allocated and profit or loss sharing is made according to everyone's official shares.... however there are also businesses that aren't incorporated and those profits/lossses are shared by verbal agreements. There is no "projection" required as the various "books" and accounts are accessible by all involved. In general the "system" is IMO rather efficient and is actually superior to businesses run by parties who have no inherent trust amongst themselves. Business decisions tend to be made much quicker and without the principle-agent conflicts that are present in businesses where the parties involved are not family. Overall the krongsri system has allowed the overseas Chinese take over the entire economy.

p.s. I should add that simply being a family member doesn't automatically make you a business partner in everything. Just like any other business, you need to bring something to the table AND perpetually continue to put your goods on the table. If you're one of those without business acumen, you're going to find yourself managing/yawning your days away in an internet cafe, pharmacy, or optical shop, etc. with a more able Heng closely monitoring your operations.

Edited October 16, 2007 by Heng

[lazeeboy]

Typical middle range earning Thai-Chinese krongsri here both on my side and wife's side of the family... everyone is an earner unless they are still undergrads or below. Your main income streams are yours but you also have income streams from investments in other family businesses (say if you help run or perhaps help set up a business... you might get 5-10% or whatever here and there). When balanced (not all krongsri's are), it keeps everyone focused, diligent, and it's a pretty good checks and balance system too: from the financial point of view and family relations point of view... you don't get a situation where only one person wears the pants because everyone has several pair.

when new business are started, are contracts actually drawn up or is everything done under the premise of "well work it out later?"... the system you describe sounds like a complete mess where those bad at business end up mooching off of those who are successful, although if you come from a rich enough family someone can project an image of a successful mover and shaker even if they are lossing money in their investments and business.

For our family, most of our businesses are either incorporated or at least registered parterships so yes, shares are typically allocated and profit or loss sharing is made according to everyone's official shares.... however there are also businesses that aren't incorporated and those profits/lossses are shared by verbal agreements. There is no "projection" required as the various "books" and accounts are accessible by all involved. In general the "system" is IMO rather efficient and is actually superior to businesses run by parties who have no inherent trust amongst themselves. Business decisions tend to be made much quicker and without the principle-agent conflicts that are present in businesses where the parties involved are not family. Overall the krongsri system has allowed the overseas Chinese take over the entire economy.

p.s. I should add that simply being a family member doesn't automatically make you a business partner in everything. Just like any other business, you need to bring something to the table AND perpetually continue to put your goods on the table. If you're one of those without business acumen, you're going to find yourself managing/yawning your days away in an internet cafe, pharmacy, or optical shop, etc. with a more able Heng closely monitoring your operations.

theres no earners in my family ,we let other people do the work ,we just play ......

[little_muppet]

My bf forced me to quit my job when we decide to live together like a married couple (not regal marriied yet),

then i start whining... so he is now put me in Law course!!!!!

Pitty me...

LMP

[BEENTHEREDONETHAT]

Neither of us work, our savings does the earning.

On my 50th birthday my wife and I decided to take a mini break. I was in a high stress job and my health was going down hill. We decided to take a couple of years off and see a bit of the world (she is 10 years younger than me). So after 2 years of bumming around we decided that it was not a bad life, we went home sold everything and kept on bumming around. That was 24 years ago next month.

We have adequate funds to live comfortable. In fact we have more $$ now than when we retired in 1984. Boredom has not been a problem for either of us, we manage to keep busy doing unproductive things like reading and walking the beach and we each have a hobby to keep us occupied.

Basicly if you have enough money to live comfortable and still have your savings growing a bit, why work? I've never visualized money is being a score card as to how well you have done in your life. Enjoying what you are doing is much more important.

[nidge]

Neither of us work, our savings does the earning.

On my 50th birthday my wife and I decided to take a mini break. I was in a high stress job and my health was going down hill. We decided to take a couple of years off and see a bit of the world (she is 10 years younger than me). So after 2 years of bumming around we decided that it was not a bad life, we went home sold everything and kept on bumming around. That was 24 years ago next month.

We have adequate funds to live comfortable. In fact we have more $$ now than when we retired in 1984. Boredom has not been a problem for either of us, we manage to keep busy doing unproductive things like reading and walking the beach and we each have a hobby to keep us occupied.

Basicly if you have enough money to live comfortable and still have your savings growing a bit, why work? I've never visualized money is being a score card as to how well you have done in your life. Enjoying what you are doing is much more important.

Congratulations on your sucessful mini break. I hope to do the same when i am 50, 8 years 11 months and counting

[Gary A]

There is no wage earner in our home. I spent all my life planning for being able to retire and now I'm retired. My wife has a full time job taking care of me. Other than that we do exactly as we like.

[ukjackthai]

... everyone is an earner unless they are still undergrads or below...

Yep, every adult who has finished school in our family is an earner...

I beg to differ

I find my work more enjoyable and interesting than studying. My parents are retired and my sister dosen't study or work.

Being maybe the youngest employee in the Abdulrahim Tower gives me a sense of pride. Not having to rely on my parents, financially, at such a young age is also a great asset.

Edited December 21, 2007 by ukjackthai

[Gimbo]

Lemme see, I made a total of 17 dollars and 59 cents from google adds on my website over the last 9 months....I guess that makes me the earner in the household...no wait, dam_n, the wife sold some bags of rice the other day, so it must be her...

I willl go have a snooze while I think about it

Edited December 21, 2007 by Gimbo

[chicowoodduck]

First, practice saying "Don't call me retired, I'll call you!" After that, find something, anything to keep your body / mind ACTIVE. If you don't use it, you will certainly lose it! It doesn't have to be the ol' 9 to 5 routine, but it should be something that you enjoy part-time and is full-filling to YOU at the same time.

[Tinkelbell]

quoted......"The problem is I have a professional degree that won’t be able to use it in Thailand."

........................................................................

Hi nong Teacup,

I came to know you from reading many of your posts. Always agreed what you had said.

You striked me as a good person, well thought, smart and a lovely wife. Somehow your husband doesn't appreciate what he has. Maybe he does, but it didn't show.

Like the other poster said..." If you got the buck, do what you want."

Right on, do whatever makes you happy, you've been married for over 21 years so it's time to think about yourself more than selfish feelings of your spouse.

You're not sure if you can get a job in TL. How do you know? Have you tried looking for one while you were on visiting your home country ? In my experiences, I had seen some of my relatives married a girl who hailed from Japan Taiwan , Penang ( these girls were their US colleges sweethearts ). After they gone back to TL and settled down, these wives got a job at UN-ESAP, Swedis co:- TETRAPAK, one teaching at International school.

What I try to say, nong Teacup, you can do a lot better than that. Your English is excellent, and your're a native Thai therefore the job market is wilder, you can even work in the government agencies. If you looking to work part-time, have you considered teaching at some college ? I myself once got a temporary part time job working at the Police Department, co-ordinated between Marine-Police and USOM.

Whatever you decide to do I wish you the best.

Pe Tinkel

[teacup]

Tinklebell:

Ok you’re right, I admit I haven’t been looking for a job or any opportunities while in Thailand.

But again I don’t want to work under someone else. I have been my own boss all my working life, except for the first few years with the local city’s regional planning department when I was just freshly right out of college. I don’t have the personality that can be conformed very well in a homogenous environment (ex. government, school, or any institution, even sometimes under the thai society in general). I have a free spirit in thinking, and am seeing myself as an artist, I like to create something new and unique. In addition who want to hire me (esp those in Thailand) if I don’t like to obey and I do argue back considerably in order to get my idea across (don’t work very well with the thais here, I think), and I like to work in the type of environment where I can be and think by myself. I have a degree in urban planning and architecture.

First – urban planning:

I don’t think I can get into the inner circle of the local ampur or the city to be able to use all what I know, it will take yrs and yrs, even with the help of my uncle who’s currently is the Puyaibaan, or my next door cousin who’s running for a city council. Or do you know any private company doing this type of works in Thailand. Almost none I think – I’m into the city planning: population growth, housing needs, & traffic planning.

Second – architecture:

Who wants to hire me to do anything there, when I only know how to do that by using only the “US building code” with all the US materials & specs only and remember I have to translate every technical words into a thai in my head which I’m not used to it at all – too complicate and extremely difficult for me.

For a long term - I’m sure I will have to think of something else or diff avenue to be able to enjoy life with the money and still use my past experience and knowledge which I had spent many years accumulated.

Thanks so much for everyone inputs. I will make sure to get him to read every replies posted here.

Wai Wai

TC

[Felt 35]

Work to live

Live to work