A good-looking woman walks into a bar wearing a tube top. She sits down at the end of the bar and immediately raises her hand to signal the bartender for a beer. At that moment, everybody notices that she doesn't shave her armpits. When she finishes her drink she raises her arm again to get another one. Again, everybody sees her incredibly hairy armpits. This happens a few times.

Meanwhile, a drunk man on the other side of the bar says to the bartender as he passes him, "Hey! D'you see that ballerina on the other side of the bar?"

The bartender gives him a nod.

"Buy her a drink on me."

The bartender replies, "Sure, but how do you know she's a ballerina?"

"Because," answers the drunken man, "any chick who can lift her leg that high has GOT to be a ballerina."

So a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel atatched to his crotch. The bartend says "Whats with the steering wheel?" Pirate says "Aaaahhhr! Its driving me nuts!"

What is ET short for?

He's got really small legs.

A polar bear is talking to his dad one day and says "Am I full polar bear? I'm not part grizzly, panda, koala, or anything right?"

dad: "No son! You come from a long line of proud pure polar bears! Why would you ask a question like that??"

"Because I'm ###### cold!"

Whats the difference between a guitarist and a large pepporoni pizza?

The pizza *can* feed a family of four....

What do you call a drummer whose girlfriend left him?

Homeless

what is the reason behind bands saying testing , one two into the microphone at the beginning of their performance?

so the drummer can check he has the correct number of sticks.

Do you know why set breaks are limited to 15 minutes?

So you don't have to retrain the drummer....