Tarzan

Tarzan was swinging through the jungle when he had a head-on collision with a tree.

Waking up from the coma the doctor spoke to him.

'Well Tarz old boy,you had to have both your arms and legs amputated and your...er...manhood is gone too.'

Tarzan looked shattered but the doctor assured him that he would be even better than before.

'We've given you transplants,the arms of a chimp,the legs of a cheetah and the...er....manhood we've replaced with an elephant's trunk.Come back and see me in a month.'

A month later Tarzan returned to the doctor.

'Man you're a genius,I can swing faster through the trees than before,and I can reach speeds of up to 70k/h it's amazing but there's only one problem.'

'What's that?' asked the doc.

'Well this is a bit embarassing doc but that elephant's trunk you replaced my manhood with keeps shoving grass up my ass!'