Rooster

[Martin]

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred

young layers (hens), called " pullets" and eight or ten roosters, whose job

was to fertilize the eggs. The farmer kept records and any rooster that

didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful

lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his

roosters.

Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which

rooster was performing.

Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by

listening to the bells.

The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, and a very fine specimen he

was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell

hadn't rung at all!

John went to investigate.

The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing.

The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. But to Farmer

John's amazement, Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd

sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

John was so proud of Butch, he entered him in the Boone County Fair and

Butch became an overnight sensation among the judges.?

The result...

The judges not only awarded Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they also

awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well. Clearly Butch was a politician in

the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the

most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on

the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?

[zzdocxx]

Yes this is a good one, also posted here about a month ago! !

But who can keep track, anyway keep them coming! ! !

[Mosha]

This farmer has about 500 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster that he would sell. The other farmer says, "Yep, I've got this great rooster, named Kenny. He'll service every chicken you got, no problem."

Well, Kenny the rooster costs $3,000, a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Kenny. The farmer takes Kenny home and sets him down in the barnyard, but first he gave the rooster a pep talk. "I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job.! So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer said, with a chuckle.!

Kenny seems to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house and Kenny takes off like a shot. WHAM! Kenny nails every hen in the hen house - three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked.

After that, the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen and, sure enough, Kenny is in there. Later, the farmer sees Kenny after a flock of geese down by the lake. Once again - WHAM! He gets all the geese. By sunset he sees Kenny out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants.

The farmer is distraught and worried that his expensive rooster won't even last 24 hours. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next morning to find Kenny on his back out in the middle of the yard, mouth open, tongue hanging out and both feet sticking straight up in the air. Buzzards are circling overhead.

The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh, Kenny, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself."

Kenny opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky and says, "Shhhh .. they're getting closer."