Rejected Hallmark Cards

[AltumAngel]

"Looking back over the years that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder:...

-- What was I thinking?"

"Congratulations on your wedding day!...

-- Too bad no one likes your wife."

"How could two people as beautiful as you....

-- have such an ugly baby?"

"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love...

-- After having met you, I've changed my mind."

"I must admit, you brought Religion in my life...

-- I never believed in hel_l until I met you."

"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

-- that you're not here to ruin it for me."

"As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me...

-- Like the need for therapy."

"Thanks for being a part of my life!!!...

-- I never knew what evil was before this!"

"Before you go,...

I would like you to take this knife out of my back.

-- You'll probably need it again."

"Someday I hope to get married...

-- but not to you."

"You look great for your age...

-- Almost Lifelike!"

"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me...

-- Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise."

"I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend...

-- So here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys."

"We have been friends for a very long time...

-- What do you say we call it quits?"

"I'm so miserable without you...

-- It's almost like you're here."

"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy...

-- Did you ever find out who the father was?"

"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...

-- I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."