Farangs Losing Money In Divorces

[moldy]

I'm very happy this posting took off.

I posted it hoping to point out that not all is doom and gloom. I and many others recovered from a sad situation and an unjust one in my opinion. And indeed at least one failed relationship seems part of the learning curve out here.

I also wanted to alert people to the dangers of the types of relationship that frequently develop out here in Thailand. I'd advise people never to marry ahead of time. You need a courtship, a period of getting to know each other, and then yes get married, and the best of luck. Relationships with a wide variance in age , and social background warrant particular caution.

To reiterate, in my view in a short term marriage, putting up a fight is well worth it.

Where kids are involved, maybe it's best not to fight too much at least for the kid's sake.

[GuestHouse]

And in the midst of all this we have guys giving the advice not to marry but to do the local 'Buddhist thing' so as to avoid the legal obligations of marriage.

Nice!

[moldy]

And in the midst of all this we have guys giving the advice not to marry but to do the local 'Buddhist thing' so as to avoid the legal obligations of marriage.

Nice!

Not nice!

I think avoiding the very unfair, punitive financial obligations of a sham marriage is justifiable, avoiding emotional commitment isn't for sure. We're just dealing with people who don't want to be taken for a ride (again).

[andyc2006]

Those saying not to register marriages -- to only "do the Buddhist thing" -- are neglecting the visa/travel issues.

Some want their Thai spouse to have the ability to travel to other countries, including their own.

Some want the Thai visa.

That's a major incentive to make the marriage "legal."

Also, are the people who advise never to register the marriage assuming these marriages are shams? It's as if they're assuming the couples will never have children and the farang doesn't consider the marriage to be real/serious. If you're serious about your spouse, and have children, you're much better off with the umbrella of legalisms that comes with a real marriage.

It really sounds like the UK's divorce laws are awful. My condolences to those across the pond.

It's not so bad in the USA -- for nearly all states now, what you have before the marraige will remain yours, so long as you don't mix it with assets acquired during the marriage.

This "don't get married legally" advice is useless, ignoring the realities and incentives in many other peoples' lives. Not all farangs have moved to Thailand to live out their last years in hedonism and to completely disconnect from their prior lives and the rest of the world (excepting posts on Thai internet forums). Not all farangs consider their relationship with a Thai to rank just below watching television, drinking beer, and chasing women 1/2 their age.

My advice to those farangs is that if you have proper reason and incentives to have a legal marriage to a Thai, know the laws of your home country/state. If the default laws don't protect what you're bringing into the marriage, make sure to take all necessary measures to protect them BEFORE you marry.

If you're in the States, just make sure you're in a "community property" state with no-fault divorce: then if/when you dissolve the marriage, you keep 1/2 of what's been acquired during the marriage (regardless of how awful a spouse you may have been), and you keep everything you had before the marriage. You might also want to consider a prenuptial agreement regarding spousal support, but in most States, if you're married less than 10 years, spousal support is minimal and the duration is 1/2 the length of the marriage, so it's tolerable.

[andyc2006]

I married my wife 1 year ago today and we have a 4 month old son

How is this possible? Did she give birth prematurely?

[NordicMan]

What are the costs of a divorce in UK IF both partners agree to the settlement and there are no children involved? e.g. the partners agree that the man will give the wife £50k cash and that's it, things didn't work out, let's get on with our lives...?

Any solicitor costs etc?

[moldy]

What are the costs of a divorce in UK IF both partners agree to the settlement and there are no children involved? e.g. the partners agree that the man will give the wife £50k cash and that's it, things didn't work out, let's get on with our lives...?

Any solicitor costs etc?

as little as 300 pounds. Of course if you decide to give a small fortune up to you and I assume it was a long marriage from which much benefit was gained.

[NordicMan]

What are the costs of a divorce in UK IF both partners agree to the settlement and there are no children involved? e.g. the partners agree that the man will give the wife £50k cash and that's it, things didn't work out, let's get on with our lives...?

Any solicitor costs etc?

as little as 300 pounds. Of course if you decide to give a small fortune up to you and I assume it was a long marriage from which much benefit was gained.

thanks for quick reply.

Just my personal opinion, but I believe it would be fair to keep whatever each had before the marriage, and share what was gained/earned during the marriage. I also think that investment income from assets held before the marriage should not be subject to this sharing, at least not 50/50.

Another question is the work efforts that both parties put in. If both parties worked, but the Thai girl had less earnings power than the husband, I think it would be fair to share the income during the married years 50/50. If the Thai girl was a housewife, it gets a bit more fussy for me... did she look after children or do housework, or just watch tv and hang out with friends? did her being a housewife enable to husband to work more and earn more money? did she try to get a job? was she able to get a job but chose to not work simply because she didn't want to work for small money or didn't like the jobs available? did she do anything to improve her employability, e.g. attend school, courses etc.? if I ever get in such a situation, I will think more about it.

the above assumes both parties are in working age.

cheers

nm

[darklightmatter]

I also forgot to say that the reason for a Divorce is completely irrelevant. The court does not give a hoot as to why the two love birds do not want to be in the same room anymore. The court is not interested in who did what to whom and why even if violence occurred. (No children involved)

One will not get more money if they were physically harmed. That would be a criminal act and resolved in a criminal court.

All the law wants to establish is a settlement that might be perceived fairly by both parties.

So this saying ‘there is always two sides to a story’ is utter nonsense. It really makes no difference as to who sets the petition off.

But it is interesting to know that in the UK only 20% of divorces are instigated by men.

Oh yes one cannot refuse a Divorce, once that Petition is in the Respondents hand then the ball starts rolling. I had to get a Bailiff to serve the Petition as my lovely Thai wife wanted to stall everything. Why? For sheer spite.

I also have to mention that if one has a private pension then that too can go up in smoke as a percentage of that might have to be handed over. (evil bastards). I have one and was very worried about losing some of it luckily it was ignored but I did have to produce a financial doc stating its worth and future growth.

Lastly make a will as soon as one files the petition as even though you are divorced the other half can still claim inheritance if one dies during or after the divorce.

And also make any other will as soon as one gets married again. Strange but true all wills are annulled after marriage.

[Brigante7]

I married my wife 1 year ago today and we have a 4 month old son

How is this possible? Did she give birth prematurely?

2 weeks late actualy.

[t.s]

It's fairly obvious, isn't it? Don't get married. Ok, some foreigners may get married to stay in Thailand or some other country, but why would someone of considerable wealth and power such as Sir Paul get married? It makes no sense.

i wasnt aware "sir" paul had married a thai

[moldy]

Title this "The Richer party in a divorce losing money in divorces" and you'll have a more accurate topic title.

an astute observation and I guess there is no avoiding this, but losing most of it?

[Totster]

The X got some excellent advice and legal aid and that something that I never heard of before a ‘Matrimonial Home Rights Order’, this blocks the sale of the house and puts into question the rightful owner of the property. She was going for 100% of everything. To me this behaviour is pure evil and the people who have helped this woman in this situation I hate with all my heart. I believe that most of the people who had helped are Thai national who live in the UK and have high connections with the Thai consulate in a part of the UK I live.

Jurisdiction for legal matters lies exclusively with the host nation. Having ‘connections to a consulate’ is merely an attempt to establish some bragging rights (face) or to intimidate those on the receiving end.

[Chris Lawrence]

I married my wife 1 year ago today and we have a 4 month old son

How is this possible? Did she give birth prematurely?

2 weeks late actualy.

They had sex before they got married? It happens now.

[andyc2006]

I married my wife 1 year ago today and we have a 4 month old son

How is this possible? Did she give birth prematurely?

2 weeks late actualy.

They had sex before they got married? It happens now.

Shocking! I'll need to find a tamer website.

[Brigante7]

I married my wife 1 year ago today and we have a 4 month old son

How is this possible? Did she give birth prematurely?

2 weeks late actualy.

They had sex before they got married? It happens now.

Shocking! I'll need to find a tamer website.

LMFAO

[Ricardo]

I married my wife 1 year ago today and we have a 4 month old son

How is this possible? Did she give birth prematurely?

2 weeks late actualy.

They had sex before they got married? It happens now.

Shocking! I'll need to find a tamer website.

LMFAO

The late great Robert Heinlein once observed, that an eager young bride can often achieve in seven months, that which takes a duchess nine months.

Contratulations to Mum & Dad & Rug-Rat. Are you sleeping through the night yet ?

[Brigante7]

I married my wife 1 year ago today and we have a 4 month old son

How is this possible? Did she give birth prematurely?

2 weeks late actualy.

They had sex before they got married? It happens now.

Shocking! I'll need to find a tamer website.

LMFAO

The late great Robert Heinlein once observed, that an eager young bride can often achieve in seven months, that which takes a duchess nine months.

Contratulations to Mum & Dad & Rug-Rat. Are you sleeping through the night yet ?

Thanks Ricardo, yeah we are, life is great.