How Can I Track Down A Person In Thailand?

[Erap]

Hi There

I arrived in Thailand for yet another visit, and thought about saying hello to my X-girlfriend. Unfortunately, during the last week for some reason she doesn't answer the phone (not even to her friends!), doesn't send E-mails, and doesn't write in her blog or use Facebook. All of her friends claim that she still uses the same phone number and E-mail address, and that they're unable to reach her too. The truth is that I am starting to get a bit worried... We were friends and remained in touch after we split up, and there is no reason for her to be afraid of me.

Anyway, how do you reckon I could find her? I have her full name, ID number and hometown where she lived until recently, and where her parents still live (Saraburi). Her friends claim that she went down to the South, to around Ko Phi Phi to work. So how should I continue? Any advice on the matter would be highly appreciated!

(No nasty remarks please - I am not her groupie, just her friend. And I am fully aware of the fact that she might be with some other guy, and possibly out of Thailand).

Thank you for your help

Erap

[Mossfinn]

Thank you for your help

Erap

I think you will find, 'search threads', are a little frowned upon, so not much help forthcoming I am afraid.

Hope you have better luck

Moss

[tattoodrob]

Hi There

I arrived in Thailand for yet another visit, and thought about saying hello to my X-girlfriend. Unfortunately, during the last week for some reason she doesn't answer the phone (not even to her friends!), doesn't send E-mails, and doesn't write in her blog or use Facebook. All of her friends claim that she still uses the same phone number and E-mail address, and that they're unable to reach her too. The truth is that I am starting to get a bit worried... We were friends and remained in touch after we split up, and there is no reason for her to be afraid of me.

Anyway, how do you reckon I could find her? I have her full name, ID number and hometown where she lived until recently, and where her parents still live (Saraburi). Her friends claim that she went down to the South, to around Ko Phi Phi to work. So how should I continue? Any advice on the matter would be highly appreciated!

(No nasty remarks please - I am not her groupie, just her friend. And I am fully aware of the fact that she might be with some other guy, and possibly out of Thailand).

Thank you for your help

Erap

im afraid this happens quite a lot if there with a guy,the guy probably dont let her to talk to x customers so keeps her phone shut and she possibly aint got time to check her emails.if its only been a week or so then i wouldnt worry too much.....be patient as phone and email will resume im sure.if you are really really worried then if you have parents adress you could send taxi or go your self and see if parents heard anything...take some one with you who can talk thai and english.most girls are in contact with there parents regularly as parents will want there monthly money!!!

also dont forget these girls break or lose there phones more often than the average bear!!!! and then sim will be changed and she will have lost all her numbers.....if she with a guy for a week she maybe cannot sneak off to internet cafe in the same way as if alone!!!

good luck anyway

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Forget it. It'll only bring grief.

[jayjayjayjay]

Go to the last place of work, beg n' ask for a copy of her ID card. Take a trip upcountry to whereever the address on the ID takes you, find the house number and is likely to be momma and poppa or grannies if that's who raised her. There is a 50/50 chance they won't know if she is keeping a low profile for whatever reason. If your lucky they know where she is........ That's the best I can come up with!

[GuestHouse]

The first quesiton to ask when looking for someone, is do they want to be found?

If I were you I'd go to the beach, have a cold beer and relax.

[Heng]

There's Something about Somying?

Stalker?

[Onnutrd]

Ask around:

-University

-Work

-Family address

-Friends

-Neighbours/landlord etc..(her landlord/lady may know because she may have paid the rent in advance)

They'll know I'm sure.

However, sometimes people may want some quality time alone...I often use to turn my mobile phone off (never wanted one in the first place..) and sometimes had'nt the time to check my e-mails. This is moreso if I'm going out of Bangkok (want to get away from everything remotely commercialised), but I still bring the phone with me incase of an emergency.

Edited January 16, 2008 by Onnutrd

[dave111223]

Purchase some night vision binoculars, and camp yourself outside her place of residence.

[blizzard]

what line of work was your ex in. the answer should dictate what you should or shouldnt do......lol.

[jackbristol]

Tattoodrob: "also dont forget these girls break or lose there phones more often than the average bear!!!!"

Do average bears have phones?

[naka]

The first quesiton to ask when looking for someone, is do they want to be found?

If I were you I'd go to the beach, have a cold beer and relax.

Agree !

Naka.

[orchis]

She will contact you when she wants to.

[britmaveric]

She'll be in touch when she wants to, not much else one can do. Just relax.

[Erap]

Thanx guys. No, she was not a prostitute, but a waitress, and for the 3 months I knew her I didn't pay her a dime (excluding food and drinks - but I guess that's what you pay when going out with any Thai girl). And no, she had the same phone number for about a year, I was calling her from abroad without any problems until 3 weeks ago.

I went to her last working place in Bangkok, but she left it a few months ago to go back and live with her parents in Saraburi. While in Bangkok she was living with her relatives, but I don't have the address or phone number for either place (I do have her ID number though). One month ago she stopped in Bangkok on the way to the South. And for the last week or two - no contact, not with me or any of her friends.

Sit down and relax sounds like a good idea, the problem is that I am seriously getting worried. She has no reason to be afraid of me, I made my intensions quite clear, and I'm sure she understood. Is shutting down the mobile phone and not writing E-mails a typical Thai reaction? The thought that she doesn't want me to find her naturally did cross my mind, but wouldn't it have been more simple just to send an E-mail and say "I need to be alone for a while, don't contact me anymore" or something like that? Again, she knows I would respect any decisions that she makes.

So is there any way to continue? Or should I abandon the whole thing?

[britmaveric]

Pretty standard practice to disappear when they don't want to be in touch.

Mate was seeing a bird for 2yrs - called her before he came - all was ok. Called her when he arrived in BKK - she told him call back in couple hrs. He did so, but she never answered her mobile. He consequently never heard from her again. Certainly not right in any way, but some Thai(s) don't seem to see this behaviour in a bad light.

[Erap]

So your guess is that this is just typical Thai behaviour? Sounds strange a westerner - to change the phone number, E-mail address, Facebook account and blog page, and advise all of her friends in Bangkok to lie, just because the X is coming to Thailand for a few weeks! Would have been more simple just to send an E-mail and say "I do not wish to see you", but go figure...

[chrisspursbkk1]

Try sending her an email saying you've just come into a load of money and would like to share it round, sounds cruel but it might work.

[0Mix1up]

and say "I do not wish to see you", but go figure...

she might not be good at saying that

certainly i would be concerned if i were you

but tracking her down would be difficult to say the least

she has a new friend imo

[Scott]

You could tell the authorities she shot a policeman, they'll find her quick enough. Of course you won't be able to talk to her!

Actually, it is her family that she is most likely to keep in touch with. Best of luck to you.

[JacknDanny]

So your guess is that this is just typical Thai behaviour? Sounds strange a westerner - to change the phone number, E-mail address, Facebook account and blog page, and advise all of her friends in Bangkok to lie, just because the X is coming to Thailand for a few weeks! Would have been more simple just to send an E-mail and say "I do not wish to see you", but go figure...

Thats Western mindset.

Over here, in general a Thai person will not want to hurt your feelings, hence avoidance is a good defence mechanism.

Same if you ask a question. The truth to a lot of Thais is to give you the answer that you want to hear

Re the OP, I would do like has been suggested, forget and enjoy

[jayjayjayjay]

Sit down and relax sounds like a good idea, the problem is that I am seriously getting worried. She has no reason to be afraid of me, I made my intensions quite clear, and I'm sure she understood. Is shutting down the mobile phone and not writing E-mails a typical Thai reaction? The thought that she doesn't want me to find her naturally did cross my mind, but wouldn't it have been more simple just to send an E-mail and say "I need to be alone for a while, don't contact me anymore" or something like that? Again, she knows I would respect any decisions that she makes.

So is there any way to continue? Or should I abandon the whole thing?

If her English was good enough for you to chat internationally then she's more than a waitress. My guess, she has used that English to find a new farang, she was happy to chat to you when convenient before but now is with this guy for good. Bottom line, has a new man and doesn't want to jepardise the situation and like most Thai's, wont fess up to the real story.

In your own words, "abondon the whole thing", you'll come across her one day when you have a new girl.

[dave111223]

She is a waitress at an S&P or Black Canyon type of joint or are we talking the waitress at a Soi Cowboy type of joint?

[backflip]

"I arrived in Thailand for yet another visit, and thought about saying hello to my X-girlfriend. Unfortunately, during the last week for some reason she doesn't answer the phone..."

I'm not sure why you'd take time to talk to someone who doesn't want to talk with you. Leave her alone.

[Joseph87]

Pretty standard practice to disappear when they don't want to be in touch.

Mate was seeing a bird for 2yrs - called her before he came - all was ok. Called her when he arrived in BKK - she told him call back in couple hrs. He did so, but she never answered her mobile. He consequently never heard from her again. Certainly not right in any way, but some Thai(s) don't seem to see this behaviour in a bad light.

He's right. I would disappear if i want to avoid. my friend quit his high school at grade 12, so he disappear i.e. not coming back to school for many months. However, the headmaster approached me and ask me where he is. high school is at sydney in australia.

So she's probably broke her mobile phone and lost your number, or doesnt want to talk to you for a while or is busy in trouble or something came up.

[Cuban]

We were friends and remained in touch after we split up, and there is no reason for her to be afraid of me.

OK. Non-BG and you were in a relationship for three months(?) remained in contact while you were back in farang-land, via telephone and internet etc. So she has good English skills and is computer aware enough to use blogs, MSN , ICQ etc. The likelyhood is that you are not the only farang she has ever spoken too online. Many computer aware Thais use the internet for farang dating, there are even books about doing this sold in 7-11 here.

Thais are mobile people, it is entirely normal for people to up sticks and move to another part of the country for work or relationship. So moving from Saraburi - BKK - The South is not odd in itself.

Did she place a lot of emotional investment in your shared relationship? If so, the break up could well have affected her much more than you are aware and so much more than she has shown. She might have lost face amoung her peers from being in a farang relationship then then ended, she may have felt that to save face she needed to move away from those people that knew about the relationship.

You say she has no reason to fear you, but you are not inside her head to understand her perspective on the situation after the break-up. You have moved on with your life, allow her the same grace to move on with hers.

Her current situation might mean that she wants to leave the past behind her, some Thai man would hate to think that his GF/wife was once with a farang. So to remain happy she would remove negative elements from her life.

I have heard about Thais looking at pictures of their partners with former BF/GFs in the past, then comparing the clothes in the picture with those still in the drawers/cupboards and cutting up the offending clothes so as to cleanse the house/person of the negative past.

Anyway, how do you reckon I could find her?

You have sent SMS, email and voicemails. She has either moved on from these email addresses and phone numbers or she chooses not to contact you. It is her choice.

You have enough information to employ an investigator to track her down - the amount of money you put toward doing this is a measure of if you are stalking her or not.

If you track her down what would you said to her?

If your sole intention is to know if she is safe and happy - then in your contract with the investigator you need to say the only information that is returned to answers one question: "Is she OK?"

No contact details.

No location, address, numbers.

If you are worrying about her well being to this extent you are probably not over the breakup of the relationship.

[barky]

There's Something about Somying?

Stalker?

You're a creep Heng. The guy said he was genuinly worried. Stop measuring people by your own low standards.

[LivinLOS]

There's Something about Somying?

Stalker?

You're a creep Heng. The guy said he was genuinly worried. Stop measuring people by your own low standards.

Aww come on.. I thought it was funny..

[Heng]

I really enjoy the love/like/hate Heng undercurrent that surfaces from time to time.

[Erap]

Guess I wasn't so clear about things. We seperated a long time ago, over a year, and I already saw her since - this should have been the second time. And she already had one serious boyfriend since, and she did tell me about that, though not really enthusiastically, and only after I asked her. And that was it as far as love was concerned, now it's just friendship. That's why I find things so strange - last time she was happy to see me and willing (though not happily) to tell me that she had someone else. And this time - a complete silence...