Effeminate 10 Yr Old Boy

[RueFang]

He has no say, or, influence in the matter. Nature is as nature does.

Watched my wife's nephew from the age of five. By the age of six, pretty much everyone knew he was gay. He's now sixteen and quite obviously gay.

But to say a child is gay at age 6 is a stretch.

*though the way you inspect your fingernails is a guage.

I certainly hope you don't have children Journalist because they are certainly going to turn on you in teenagehood if you do. You come across as very controlling and I can't believe you could be serious about the fingernail thing being a gauge. I remember being about 11 when that went around my school and all the kids went around asking everyone to check their nails as a joke.

As to not knowing by age 6 if someone is potentially gay - before living in Thailand I would have seriously thought this was too young to know..thinking that perhaps 10-12 year old would be closer to showing clues..but after living in Thailand for a few years it is without doubt possible to tell as young as 5ish whether boys have those tendancies here. It can't really be apparent if they are gay (attracted to same sex) or Katoeys (wanting to live as a woman, attracted to men) or transgender (born in the wrong body) but if they are constantly acting effeminently it is a sure sign that they don't have hetero inclinations. I agree with PeaceBlondie that hetero boys in Thailand don't generally act effeminently at any age.

The most important thing you can do is to openly show your son you love him unconditionally. Kids pick up on everything even if they can't put words to it. Don't be afraid to give him hugs and tell him you love him. Perhaps his mum tells him and you don't? Not assuming anything but if you feel uncomfortable doing this, he'll know it and later identify it with you rejecting his sexuality (if he is gay). Best of luck.

[Journalist]

^ Perhaps Thai parents don't think that fostering a positive gender identity is ielevant in parenting priorities.

Does that mai pen rai attitude surprise me for Thailand? Not at all.

Do I think that they are therefore manifesting an enlightened modern approach? Nope.

Lastly, its ironic that many guffaw at the idea of 'looking at fingernails' being a behavioural marker, at the same time as they confidently assert that they can call a 5 yr old boy out as being homosexual. I just wonder what homespun traits they have deciphered !

Edited January 17, 2008 by Journalist

[BambinA]

To the OP,

If you are sure that your boy is a homosexual boy, here is my advices

1) Let he know you are his best friend , just talk to him and ask him what he likes or want to be. The age of 0-12 year old is just nothing.

2) The critical period is 13-15 years old,the early teenager period. You just take a deeper care of him about his friends. If he has sassy friends, do not blame him. If he wants to have a party with his friends , make it at your home. Let he trust you that your are the best friend of him. In the meanwhile, talk to him about his future as being a homosexual is tough, and he may meet many obstacles in his life as love relationship.

3) Start teaching him about fishing , education is the most important thing and tell him that one day dad and mom will be too old to support him and die later, hence he needs to concentrate with education which is the only way that he can live his life happily in future.

Good luck

Bambi

[bina]

hey bmabina!

whats up?!!

anyway, i really do not now what is male vx female activities... can someone enlighten me???

i am petite girlish, a mom and i hated dolls, preferring to run around outdoors looking at bugs and dealing with animals...

guess what i have next to me as i type? a baby goatkid, in a box at my feet....

i pitchfork shit, play with spiders and mice, walk like a man (as israeli guys say to me), am straightforward, and hate 'lady talk' i have little patience for it...

i prefer to play with trucks or tractors ... i like my own kids, hate everyone else's babies and refuse to coo to any baby...

i love to put on nailpolish and lipstick but dont shave my legs....

sooo...... where does that leave me??? masculine or feminine??

journalist, reallyyyyy.......

bina

[Jingthing]

As a boy, I was showing "signs" to my parents and teachers but I was never a katoey in progress. Today, I don't ask directions, I am a slob, am not into fashion, and only went in drag once in my life and that was when I was 23 on Halloween in San Francisco (where it is required). Most homosexuals are not as glamorous or cross dressing as some people imagine.

I got comments like this from my grade school teachers to my parents: "does not roughhouse with the other boys" (that came later ...) "likes to read books" (God forbid a student should be academic). To my parents this meant, prepare for homo. But I was not and have never been the slightest bit effeminate, and most homos I have known are the same way. Like I said before, many effeminate men are not gay at all. Just love the diversity. It may be too PC for you, but it happens to be the best way.

The most important thing you can do is to openly show your son you love him unconditionally. Kids pick up on everything even if they can't put words to it

Thay says all you need to know. Edited January 17, 2008 by Jingthing