Parenting/childrearing Books

[lost_in_space]

What books have influenced the way you raise your kids?

I came across "Unconditional Parenting" by Alfie Kohn at Asia books and find it very interesting. He blasts the reward/punishment conditioning that many parents use. It has been an eye-opener. He has a website mostly devoted to education.

But 'coming across' a good book is pretty inefficient.

What books, articles, or web-sites have you found helpful? Anything specific to expat, mixed-parentage or bilingual kids?

[fletchsmile]

What books have influenced the way you raise your kids?

I came across "Unconditional Parenting" by Alfie Kohn at Asia books and find it very interesting. He blasts the reward/punishment conditioning that many parents use. It has been an eye-opener. He has a website mostly devoted to education.

But 'coming across' a good book is pretty inefficient.

What books, articles, or web-sites have you found helpful? Anything specific to expat, mixed-parentage or bilingual kids?

Funny you should ask about books, as the instruction manual/ book that came with our daughter at birth was blank. Everyone gets the same one I believe

I haven't read any books secifically on expat/ mixed-parenting. To be honest one thing that often strikes me on the western books on the topic, is that they don't always fit this scenario, or say different cultural aspects Asian countries like Thailand. On the whole tho' a good book on parenting is a good book.

Two of the best I've read are:

First Time Parenting - Mirriam Stoppard

Baby Secrets - Jo Tantum/ Barbera Want

[lost_in_space]

What books have influenced the way you raise your kids?

I came across "Unconditional Parenting" by Alfie Kohn at Asia books and find it very interesting. He blasts the reward/punishment conditioning that many parents use. It has been an eye-opener. He has a website mostly devoted to education.

But 'coming across' a good book is pretty inefficient.

What books, articles, or web-sites have you found helpful? Anything specific to expat, mixed-parentage or bilingual kids?

Funny you should ask about books, as the instruction manual/ book that came with our daughter at birth was blank. Everyone gets the same one I believe

I wish the book were blank. Don't you think we already have a set of ideas, taken from our own childhoods, on how children should be raised? It's when I saw myself repeat something that my dad did, that I didn't like as a child, that I decided to look into the subject more deeply.

I haven't read any books secifically on expat/ mixed-parenting. To be honest one thing that often strikes me on the western books on the topic, is that they don't always fit this scenario, or say different cultural aspects Asian countries like Thailand. On the whole tho' a good book on parenting is a good book.

Unfortunately, in the U.S., where I come from, the christian right tend to be over represented in the child rearing field. The strict parent approach they advocate seems to have permeated the discussion, and appears to be 'common sense,' despite the disastrous consequences. So a good book on the subject may depend on the recommender.

Two of the best I've read are:

First Time Parenting - Mirriam Stoppard

Baby Secrets - Jo Tantum/ Barbera Want

Thanks, I'll check them out.

[Boo]

I bought from amazon a very good book called, "how to raise boys".As a women with only a female sibling & raised by a single parent mother I really didn't know anything about raising boychildren, add to that fact that my son is the first boy in my family for 22 years & my husbands family for 36 (talking about immidiate here not 2nd cousins etc). The book is a real eyeopener & comes with a lot of great reveiws & so far what is written is proving to be correct.

Another one a lot of people I know have used is the baby whispered books by Tracy Hogg, she also had a tv show in the UK & it was amazing how quickly she managed to get babies & their parents into a happy lifestyle after many problems, She sadly died a few years ago but her books live on. Lots of great advice about sleeping, winding, colic, bathtime troubles etc.

I also read through the Gina Ford contended baby book at a freinds & her advice on sleeping patterns for day & night is spot on (babies need approx 12hrs per night uninterupted & at least 4 hrs in naps during the day from birth till about 6months old) & was what I was already doing with my son, so it was nice to know I following a well practiced routine without even knowing it

[LadyinRed]

Smart Medicine for a Healthier Child

[fletchsmile]

I wish the book were blank. Don't you think we already have a set of ideas, taken from our own childhoods, on how children should be raised? It's when I saw myself repeat something that my dad did, that I didn't like as a child, that I decided to look into the subject more deeply.[/color]

That's pretty much the case we followed, tho' I'd describe it differently.

I'd say the book itself was blank, so we started filling it in based on the little we knew and had experienced, which included thinking what our parents did. The interesting point is that my wife's Thai way and what her parents did often differed from what my parents did.

Perhaps one of the best pieces of advice that comes out of that is: bear in mind there are different points of view on raising kids. This is particularly so in mixed marriages. While normally you work thru differences, parenting can suddenly add whole new stresses, and reduce your ability to cope with (+ accentuate) differences, especially when you're both get tired.

My view is that I needed to give way to my wife much more than usual. As a guy I tried to focus more on looking after my wife, who in turn was better than me and more natural at looking after our baby.

I bought from amazon a very good book called, "how to raise boys".As a women with only a female sibling & raised by a single parent mother I really didn't know anything about raising boychildren, add to that fact that my son is the first boy in my family for 22 years & my husbands family for 36 (talking about immidiate here not 2nd cousins etc). The book is a real eyeopener & comes with a lot of great reveiws & so far what is written is proving to be correct...

Boo,

Funny you should say that. I have the opposite problem. Our family tended to produce boys though not quite on your scale...I wonder if there's anything similar for dads on raising girls

Yes the Tracy Hogg books are good, tho' I've only read of them to be honest. The sleeping patterns you mention are also very important. That's something we got wrong....

What would be really great would be bi-lingual books. Although my wife is capable of reading the ones mentioned in English, she prefers Thai ones, as after all there is a fair amount of jargon.

Edited January 23, 2008 by fletchsmile

[Boo]

The guy who wrote raising boys has now also brought out a raising girls, because of the sucess of the boys book so many parents (esp. dads) wanted a girls one too.

Here is a link to amazon, I doubt they would have a bi-lingual one but I am sure that one of the bigger bookshops in thailand would stock the thai langauge version.

[fletchsmile]

The guy who wrote raising boys has now also brought out a raising girls, because of the sucess of the boys book so many parents (esp. dads) wanted a girls one too.

Here is a link to amazon, I doubt they would have a bi-lingual one but I am sure that one of the bigger bookshops in thailand would stock the thai langauge version.

Thanks Boo.

Just as I was typing this out, I checked it out on google, but unfortunately some of the comments suggest it's just trying to cash in on the book you mentioned about boys. eg

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Raising-Girls-Diff...5530&sr=8-1

Some quotes on "raising girls"

"I read Biddulph's "Raising Boys" and it was wonderful. When I had my daughter, I thought I would read this one (endorsed by Biddulph: traitor!). This book annoyed me so much, that I actually sought out this space to vent my opinion."

"I have no doubt that this book will become a best seller as all parents are keen to raise a child that is balanced and happy in this difficult and challenging world. I found the book a profound disappointment, it was written in an extremely simplistic way, many of the points it made were obvious and mainly a re-hash of the Steve Biddulph books "How to raise happy children".

On the bright side, I guess it seconds your opinions on the "raising boys" book.

[Boo]

thats a bit of a bummer & a shame, cause the boys book is so good.

[kannon99]

Smart Medicine for a Healthier Child

I really like this one!!! Not parenting so much as sound medical advice from a broad spectrum (homeopathy to conventional medicine)

[kannon99]

What books have influenced the way you raise your kids?

I came across "Unconditional Parenting" by Alfie Kohn at Asia books and find it very interesting. He blasts the reward/punishment conditioning that many parents use. It has been an eye-opener. He has a website mostly devoted to education.

But 'coming across' a good book is pretty inefficient.

What books, articles, or web-sites have you found helpful? Anything specific to expat, mixed-parentage or bilingual kids?

I have found that any books by Dr. Sears are good. Mothering.com & forums are good as well. Good information for "gentle discipline", "parenting as partners", etc.

[thaiclan]

"How to Negotiate with Kids...even when you think your shouldn't" by Scott Brown - just read it and its great to identify which one of the 4 types of negotiator you are as a parent. The author created the negotiating dept at Harvard and has used his research to explain parental behaviour.

Interestingly age 4 is the age where maximum conflicts occur - on average 17 per hour! Forget the terrible two's!

Incidentally I didn't like the "contented baby" book. Sounded great but only works for some babies. My baby never needed 12 hours sleep and from age 12months slept 10 hours overnight and dropped daytime naps for good.

[KhaoNiaw]

Maybe of use to Thai/foreign families would be 'The Bilingual Family' by Edith Harding-Esch and Philip Riley. I had a copy that I went back to quite often but a friend later 'borrowed' it. It looks like there is a second edition now available.

It's not a prescriptive manual for bringing up children in a bilingual environment, rather it gives an overview of how development occurs with plenty of case studies that give parents an idea of what to look out for along the way. Any worries you have about the way your children are developing bilingually will probably be addressed directly or indirectly through the case studies, as it really doesn't suggest there should be any uniform approach or pattern to bilingual development