Is It Just Me?

[zink]

Sinsot, if not returned, is just a rip off. Poor Issan farmers selling their prostitute daughters to some stupid farang for way more than a Thai would pay (like read zero for a hooker) is laughable. Respectful Thais ripping off the westerner with requests for mega gold and tons of cash just make us look stupid when we cave in and pay them for their daughter.

I agree, it's like a night market in a tourist trap where everybody is asking 2000B for 100-200B fake rolex. Some farangs agree and as a result, future farangs will get even more ridicilous demands.

It is also important to know that a sinsot in "once-in-a-lifetime" opportunity, sinsot for a woman which marries a second time is also 0B. Sinsot for an ordinary Isaan farmer's girl would be probably something like 20000-50000B (just a rough estimate). 1M Baht would be a reasonable amount for some young hi-so girl or a popular actress, but I doubt that OP is marrying one

Edited January 30, 2008 by zink

[LoveDaBlues]

I've been to 3 weddings in the deepest, darkest bowels of Issan. Each time I was the only farang there. The sinsod paid was 100k, 100k, and 60k. To the best of my wife's knowledge the money was not returned (but no way to ever be sure).

The funniest thing about these sinsod threads is people telling other people how to spend their money. If I want to gamble my cash away, drink it up, invest it, give it to charity or give it to a poor Issan family it's my money and my choice.

[siamesekitty]

Dowry (May 2005)

Dowry in Rural Issan (Jan 2008)

[zink]

The funniest thing about these sinsod threads is people telling other people how to spend their money. If I want to gamble my cash away, drink it up, invest it, give it to charity or give it to a poor Issan family it's my money and my choice.

There is nothing wrong with spending money away, as long as you are paying a going rate. Overpaying is a very bad thing because it raises prices and expectations for rest of farangs. I don't like getting ridicilous price quotes and having to spend time to haggle them down to reasonable levels just because some clueless farang overpaid in the past.

If you want to donate 1M baht to poor Isaan families, please marry 10-20 Isaan girls and pay 50-100k of dowry for each. Don't give 1M for a single girl.

Edited January 30, 2008 by zink

[Heng]

What cheapskates, they can barely buy an economy sedan for 1,,.

[chicowoodduck]

The cost of a wedding ceremony is usually covered by the cash given in envelopes by guests, so there is seldom a real or significant cost in the ceremony itself.

Costume hire in Thailand is cheap. Many wedding / photography studios do deals where they photograph you before the event and at the event as well as hire you the wedding gown and what not. Deals vary but for sure, you can get a very nice package for about 40,000 baht. You could pay much more - or a bit less.

Rings are much the same the world over. It is to be expected that you will buy a decent ring.

That leaves the sin sot. If you're uncomfortable with the idea of paying it, be upfront about it. Offer it as a goodwill gesture with the proviso that it will be returned immediately after the event. If they scoff at this, I would run.

I was informed today that for the most part the guest would not be giving anything to us, but rather we should be treating them? Also, when I questioned my GF about the return of the Sin Sot, she said that anything returned would be used for the honeymoon and such. As for the ring thing, she asked and received an engagement ring and a wedding ring and also said she needs to get some "gold?" My response was "Are we getting close to the end of all the things you need?" Her response? "That's the Thai tradition." Actually, it was A LOT more than that, but since I don't speak Thai, just suffice to say I got an ear full!

[gburns57au]

Without getting into Sinsod debates....

From what the OP wrote....it sounds like for him it is love

For her and the family it is a transaction.

Not a great start to married life.

[gburns57au]

You can also use instruments such as stock certs, bonds, or title deeds for property outside of Thailand. You demonstrate your life's accomplishments and at the same time don't risk your family fortune. Win win for all involved.

Oh boy....when was the last time you were at a Thai wedding??

Cash on the table is what they want to see.....all that other stuff dont mean squat to them.

[calmichael]

The cost of a wedding ceremony is usually covered by the cash given in envelopes by guests, so there is seldom a real or significant cost in the ceremony itself.

Costume hire in Thailand is cheap. Many wedding / photography studios do deals where they photograph you before the event and at the event as well as hire you the wedding gown and what not. Deals vary but for sure, you can get a very nice package for about 40,000 baht. You could pay much more - or a bit less.

Rings are much the same the world over. It is to be expected that you will buy a decent ring.

That leaves the sin sot. If you're uncomfortable with the idea of paying it, be upfront about it. Offer it as a goodwill gesture with the proviso that it will be returned immediately after the event. If they scoff at this, I would run.

I was informed today that for the most part the guest would not be giving anything to us, but rather we should be treating them? Also, when I questioned my GF about the return of the Sin Sot, she said that anything returned would be used for the honeymoon and such. As for the ring thing, she asked and received an engagement ring and a wedding ring and also said she needs to get some "gold?" My response was "Are we getting close to the end of all the things you need?" Her response? "That's the Thai tradition." Actually, it was A LOT more than that, but since I don't speak Thai, just suffice to say I got an ear full!

[calmichael]

It's always about the money. She has a business, and you sound like you are retired and spending your last money on this girl. Extend the engagement. If she really loves you, she will wait, if not, you will see her true colors. You sound like another income stream for her.

[yorkman]

I was informed today that for the most part the guest would not be giving anything to us, but rather we should be treating them? Also, when I questioned my GF about the return of the Sin Sot, she said that anything returned would be used for the honeymoon and such. As for the ring thing, she asked and received an engagement ring and a wedding ring and also said she needs to get some "gold?" My response was "Are we getting close to the end of all the things you need?" Her response? "That's the Thai tradition." Actually, it was A LOT more than that, but since I don't speak Thai, just suffice to say I got an ear full!

Ear full and leg pulled maybe.

Most of the guests will bring something, usually some baht in an envelope. I really dont know what the incentive is for your intended to say that............

I doubt it will cover the cost of a wedding unless you have some particularly rich guests coming along.

Ohh and there will be a small gift for the guests. Dont panic, its just a small keepsake or somesuch. A keyring is a common one

[nidge]

Most of the guests will bring something, usually some baht in an envelope. I really dont know what the incentive is for your intended to say that............

I doubt it will cover the cost of a wedding unless you have some particularly rich guests coming along.

Ohh and there will be a small gift for the guests. Dont panic, its just a small keepsake or somesuch. A keyring is a common one

I had about 300-320 guests at my wedding and they all left some money in the envelopes that the invites came in. Every penny was counted, (with names and amounts written in a book), that evening by mum and a couple of aunties. We totalled 14,000 Baht. It didn't pay for the wedding but helped a lot. The gift we gave out was a tiny bag with something insignificant inside and a heart shaped label with our names on and the date. I can't remember what we paid but i'm sure it was less than 20 baht each.

As for the Sin Sod, we got 20% back as a gift when we paid for out house but the rest was kept. Some of it paid for our cows and the rest is being loaned, (interest free), to people that loaned my wife's family when they needed help in the past. I have never been asked for any money since and sometimes when i give money to mother-in-law she refuses to take it. My wife, her mother and father gave me a family and a reason to be happy and grateful every day. You can't put a price on that.

Nidge.

[Heng]

You can also use instruments such as stock certs, bonds, or title deeds for property outside of Thailand. You demonstrate your life's accomplishments and at the same time don't risk your family fortune. Win win for all involved.

Oh boy....when was the last time you were at a Thai wedding??

Cash on the table is what they want to see.....all that other stuff dont mean squat to them.

About a dozen a year with the trend towards less cash and more 'creative' representations of assets shown.

But I do agree that most bumpkins would rather see cash.

[jstumbo]

As for the ring thing, she asked and received an engagement ring and a wedding ring and also said she needs to get some "gold?"

Gold is also part of the tradition. It is for the bride and is to secure her future. I think the gold is more traditional, the ring is just a western tradition that has seeped in.

[hp8000]

Incredible how farangs can be easily milked by their girlfriend's family. Is it a new national sport in here ?

I married 10 years ago and the family would have been very bad advised to ask me for one satang. I met my wife in my homecountry, we married there, I've never see her mother and father and don't want to. She support her divorced mother with the money she earn from HER work and that's fine.

And we choosed to live here in the north to be as far as possible from the family.

No ATM machine here for the lazy mother, brothers & sisters.

[Neeranam]

I met a guy today who was asked to pay 1 million up front for a house - un-f**ing-believable. He's known her for 3 months and said ok as she is a good girl he met on the net. She also has a Finnish guy paying for her apartment. No wonder all those girls are addicted to Thai Love Links.

God, it's embarrassing being a farang in I-San with so many stupid pensioners around. Silly old men.

[Neeranam]

You can also use instruments such as stock certs, bonds, or title deeds for property outside of Thailand. You demonstrate your life's accomplishments and at the same time don't risk your family fortune. Win win for all involved.

Oh boy....when was the last time you were at a Thai wedding??

Cash on the table is what they want to see.....all that other stuff dont mean squat to them.

About a dozen a year with the trend towards less cash and more 'creative' representations of assets shown.

But I do agree that most bumpkins would rather see cash.

Thai wedding he said, not Chinese.

Bumpkins' weddings are much more fun than the Chinese ones that you go to - God, they're boring.

[Wrong Turn]

For the past six months I have been involved in the Tong Mun (gold engagement) and Sin Sod (riches stored away) marriage process with my Thai girlfriend....

Translation: you've been paying for 6 months.

who runs a couple of very successful businesses.

Fine.

I'm just the side-line ATM machine. When I have stated that we should have some sort of budget and that we need to save some money for a "rainy day" situation, I'm met with "You have money coming in each month, that is enough, you won't be any happier with lots of money in the bank."

No offense. But this sounds like a potential phony marriage, and possibly a scam. Be cautious. And, be careful. You are not an ATM.

She has a couple of a couple of "very successful businesses."

Does she own property?

Have you seen her bank account and investment statements?

[hp8000]

My advice: RUN.

800.000 is not sinsod, it's pure racket.

Edited January 30, 2008 by hp8000

[blizzard]

if you feel like you being used as atm, you prolly are! surely in her familys eyes. hmmm i reread ops later posts , id dump this girl in a thai minnute....... ive read be4 hat bagging a farang is like winning the lottery

mrg burns you sound like my kind of man.....lol. y cant guys see whta they write and cum to logical conclusions instead of trying to ratinalize what it isnt.

Edited January 31, 2008 by blizzard

[Heng]

You can also use instruments such as stock certs, bonds, or title deeds for property outside of Thailand. You demonstrate your life's accomplishments and at the same time don't risk your family fortune. Win win for all involved.

Oh boy....when was the last time you were at a Thai wedding??

Cash on the table is what they want to see.....all that other stuff dont mean squat to them.

About a dozen a year with the trend towards less cash and more 'creative' representations of assets shown.

But I do agree that most bumpkins would rather see cash.

Thai wedding he said, not Chinese.

Bumpkins' weddings are much more fun than the Chinese ones that you go to - God, they're boring.

Some Thai Chinese, some Thai Chinese + Thai, and yes some Thai + Thai, actually... with the ceremonies all rather similar, with the main difference IMO the floor being marble, tiled, or carpet, instead of gravel or dirt. A few weddings ago, there was a Thai + Thai couple where the guy was a Thai kid from Australia and all he put down was the chanote to a smallish house in Oz and a few fairly out of the way village type chanotes from Thailand. Married in the girl's family restaurant.

Another trend that folks on the board might be unfamiliar with is that many couples nowadays will state on the invitations that *gifts and envelopes* will not be accepted for the wedding. It's kind of a 'we're financially secure already and don't care for donations' (and no, that doesn't always mean extremely well off) statement so we will indeed be treating you to dinner whether you're a kid or a poo-yai, no exceptions. Times are changing.

[Neeranam]

Another trend that folks on the board might be unfamiliar with is that many couples nowadays will state on the invitations that *gifts and envelopes* will not be accepted for the wedding. It's kind of a 'we're financially secure already and don't care for donations' (and no, that doesn't always mean extremely well off) statement so we will indeed be treating you to dinner whether you're a kid or a poo-yai, no exceptions. Times are changing.

Will you be doing that? Seems kinda like showing off to me.

[Heng]

Another trend that folks on the board might be unfamiliar with is that many couples nowadays will state on the invitations that *gifts and envelopes* will not be accepted for the wedding. It's kind of a 'we're financially secure already and don't care for donations' (and no, that doesn't always mean extremely well off) statement so we will indeed be treating you to dinner whether you're a kid or a poo-yai, no exceptions. Times are changing.

Will you be doing that? Seems kinda like showing off to me.

Nah, we happily counted ours, but had it occured to me that that was an option, we probably would have opted out. Just a trend, and it's all relative. In some parts of the world, and some parts of Thailand surely, just owning a pair of shoes probably seems like showing off to some.

[chicowoodduck]

Check out my new thread on this topic caled Sin Sod Part Deuce, it just keeps getting "gooder and gooder!"

[egg6447]

and finaly,,, its not sin sod its silly sod, all those that payed up read and digest