Opening A Bar

[IamMaiC]

You guys, such fantastic advice!!!

My house is sold, my bags are packed, but I've got a confession...

This wasn't really my idea to begin, but the idea of a girl of non-descript Thai origin last month in Broxburn. She said the best idea is to put the ownership of the bar in her brother-in-law's name, as it will avoid all legal issues. We haven't been together for long, but it's the real thing this time - I really think I can feel it, especially with all the advice above. Paradise, here I come!!!

But I just need a second opinion. What do you think guys?

C a n - I - t r u s t - h e r ?

She also mentioned Pattaya as a place to buy the bar. Is that near Chang Mai?

Sorry Sir Chiang Mai is no wayyyyyyy near Pattaya two different directions Chiang Mai is North Thailand and Pattaya South Thailand

[loong]

It only takes a second to get to Pattaya from Ghiang Mai. You have to use special fairy dust tho. I can sell you a bag, very cheap, only 10 mill. You can split it into smaller packs and get your money back in no time. Not that you're interested in any extra money as you'll be making SOOO much money from your new bar!

Of course you can trust the brother-in-law. All Thais are completely trustworthy.

I would wish you luck, but I don't believe you will need luck with such a novel concept - It Can't fail!!!!

In fact, once you are up and running, have you considered franchising the idea. I'm sure that you would have Farang queing up to invest and who Knows? in time there may be thousands of bars just the same as you describe in Pattaya.

An idea just occurred to me. You could pay the girls incredibly low wages and charge the customers, say 200 Baht if they take them out. That way you would get more in compensation for losing the girl for the night than you actually Pay them! Brilliant Huh??? Should you choose to use this idea, I will expect a cut of the action tho. Fair's fair after all, it is my original idea.

[PvtDick]

Why pay the girls at all? They'll be making plenty of money from their offs. Come to think of it, you should make THEM pay YOU to advertise their wares on your property! You could install, say 10 go-go poles and rent them out for 10,000 baht a month each...you wouldn't even have to sell any booze to be in the money!

[loong]

Why pay the girls at all? They'll be making plenty of money from their offs. Come to think of it, you should make THEM pay YOU to advertise their wares on your property! You could install, say 10 go-go poles and rent them out for 10,000 baht a month each...you wouldn't even have to sell any booze to be in the money!

Hey PvtDick.

Please don't steal my idea and then improve on it. I don,t want to lose my slice of the action. If you're gonna try and muscle in, will send a few Katooey round to give you a good sorting out!!

You have been warned!

[DJ Pat]

Harry Palmer quote:

Should I run away to Thailand?

This is the question that many men ask themselves each time they put down their heavily-soiled copy of Asian Babes. Do you have what it takes to start a new life in the exotic East? Yes?

Do you want to live with a raddled prostitute who cheats you into financial ruin before legging it back to her drug-dealing Thai boyfriend?

Do you want to amuse the ladies of the Nana Disco with your ridiculous dyed comb-over whilst trying to coax them back to your place for a grudging sympathy-shag?

Do you want to become a fat, tedious, no-mates <deleted> with a bottle of Chang beer welded to your hand?

Do you want to buy a dream bar, go broke and stage a dramatic death-plunge from your Pattaya balcony?

answer yes to these questions & you'll qualify to join the rest of us

[poolcleaner]

This is a brilliant idea!!

Surprised that no-one's thought of it before.

I'd like to suggest that you go even further with the plan and teach your girls a little English, I mean that's gotta be good for business.

Just a couple of 'icebreakers' like "Hello, handsome man" or "Hey Falang, where you go?"

You're on a sure winner here.

[taxexile]

make sure the sh!thole is a sh!thole and site it so you have to walk through the kitchen to go and sink the bismark.

have some month old torn copies of the news of the world on a greasy shelf and some tatty happy new year decorations up at all times.

if you are the owner, make sure you dont shave regularly and allow cavities to develop between your upper central incisor teeth.

show total unawareness as all the thai staff, including your missus , dip into the till on a regular basis.

even though you have been here for 15 years never speak a word of thai to the thai staff , use the word <deleted> a lot ,wear stained shorts and a tank top t-shirt (revealing warty armpits with grey hairs) and green flip flops and make sure your ugly thai wife is the wrong side of 40 and has a fat ar$e and wrinkly tatooed arms.

have a scabby cat and mangy dog around at all times to annoy the customer(s)

then just sit back and start counting the money.

[Insight]

DJ Pat, the original source of that article was here:

http://www.mangosauce.com/archives/000014.html

Sh!t, may of blown my cover...

[DJ Pat]

Although it is true that men are indeed screwed over by these thai women, you seem to be looking at this situation from only 1 side of the coin, infact a very cinical 1 sided view.

Me myself can not tolerate the fakeness of places such as patpong, sukhimvit etc with men of 60+ walking around with gorgeous 18 yr old thai girls on there arms but if you go to these places you deserve all the bad luck you are getting. If a old man of 60+ with a fat gut and a receeding hairline believes a girl who is young enough to be his grand daughter actually finds him attractive then he does deserve everything he gets.

And the lengths some of these men go to find this kind of treatment, i mean dancing in a nightclub to m and m, this is exactly the kinda of music that they were telling there kids to turn down or off because it is a noisy racket.

So my point is go to the ###### right places, then maybe you wont loose everything you have.

[Bizz]

I'm getting bored with my job and thinking of opening a bar at a popular beach resort in Thailand somewhere.

My idea is to have red neon lights at the front, complemented by Christmas Tree lights, all outdoors, full of slappers with a constant supply of shit tunes.

Whadyathink?

Great idea one of a kind as i am your you are.

[Som Nam Na]

why not have special nights for students so they can come in with thier whiskey and buy one bottle of soda between 10 of 'em (normally lasts them about 5 hours). You will save lots of money on accountancy and paper bills.

[drunken monkey]

You will need something more original than that......

It also depends on what kind of costumers you want to cater to..

but anyway best of luck whatever you decide

The Monkey

A Freudian slip - or is that a "costume" too?

ups my mistake

[Spee]

I'm getting bored with my job and thinking of opening a bar at a popular beach resort in Thailand somewhere.

Whadoithink??

If your idea of not being bored includes, late nights, throwing out obnoxious drunks, cleaning up puke, high employee turnover, watching the till like a hawk, dealing with thai mafia protection schemes, rebuilding the johns once or twice a year, dealing with beligerent clientele, etc., etc., etc., then you and the bar business might be a good match. Sounds like a tough way to make an easy living!

(or perhaps I'm unusually jaded tonight )