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Is This Just Another " Sick Buffalo"- Story?


dannyh2000uk

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I think some of the best advise that has been given is to ask her for a copy of the loan agreement. Explain that you want to help her family but don't have the cash available, so you must go to the bank for a loan, and a copy of the lease agreement could help secure a loan (although we all know it wouldn't really). Doing this would send her the message (or reminder) that you're not rolling in dough, and it would also serve as some type of gauge to determine how legitimate her story is. If she gives you some unlikely or illogical stories about why no paperwork can be supplied, perhaps the red light should go on and the alarm should sound.

Good advice - although I'd say that by the look of things, there will be no such agreement. If/when that happens, get out as you'll have proved that thet're trying to rip you off and will do again. You already have kids - don't they count? Shouldn't you be helping them out financially?

It's her fault for getting pregnant - oldest trick in the book. In my experience in these situations, good advice is hardly ever taken. You'll do whatever you think best, or whatever she makes you do. Good luck.

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Knowing my mum she will say " do one" but that is the way we do things in Farange land.

Family here means - piss off-lol

that may be in your family danny but please dont make the assumption that all brits are like this, my family aren't so don't tar them all with the same brush. thanks

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Ok people, this topic has gone well off the tracks. I think the OP has done a pretty good job of not losing his temper & flaming people who have insulted him & made incredibly rude comments about his thai gf.

If you can't post without flaming or being rude then dont post anymore.

OP, I think you know what you need to do already, you asked if this girl was scamming you & lots of people have commented on it either way, only you can decide & choose what is best & if you can afford to potentially lose that kind of money but really, the kid is the only one you need to be worried about so do what you think is best for her welfare & sod the rest.

Thank you boo

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I have just viewed your video in Utube, with my wife and daughter.

You look like a real, loving caring guy and I sincerely apologize for my dumb stupid arse comments in my previous post and wish I could delete it, regrets, regrets.

As we watched the video, my daughter was in tears and I must admit my eyes started to fill as well.

If you are prepared to take advice from an ole very life experienced idiot, here's my 50p worth:

For some time you have been down on your luck and hit hard times. You were looking for support and some loving TLC, and thought you found it with this girl.

Your girlfriend appears no stranger to the bar scene. Like many poor Thais they are looking to find ways of supporting themselves, families, and possibly the odd hanger oner Thai boyfriend. If it hadn't had been you, she probably would have hooked onto some other Farang.

At this time you are still struggling, emotionally, financially and maybe not fully recovered from your horrific road accident yet, psychologically and physically.

You could try this plan: stay in the Uk for at least the next 2 years. Make a day in the near future as year zero the beginning of the 2 years that you are going to get rid of the old and create a new beginning for yourself.

HOW?

Sort out your problems with the UK misses and children, find work and accommodation, try and get some savings behind you & clear up any debts you may have.

Don't plough anymore money into Thailand for the time being, write to the girl and explain that you are in no position to financially help her or her the family for the present as you are up to your neck trying to sort your own life out. You need have no bad feelings about this because it is true. Try and avoid falling for all their hard luck stories, as you will be bombarded with plenty in the future, believe me on that one.

Have you ever watched a movie where a man has a moral decision to make, he has his good self dressed as an angel on his left shoulder and his bad self dressed as a devil on his right shoulder, both trying their best to influence the man into either making a moral choice or an immoral choice. Well in this world you need a bit of both to be able to survive. One cant work without the other.

The harsh reality is that if you have any feelings towards this Thai woman, you may get hurt later on because if you stop any support for her while you are sorting yourself out, it is probable that she will find some other Farang to latch onto if she hasn't done so already. This has happened to several of my friends.

To sum up, my advice is give yourself at least 2 years to build yourself up a future and drop the Thai partner for a while. If in the future you do get yourself in a better financial position, you can be a proper supportive father for the child and maybe even in a situation that you can bring the child over to the UK or live with you in Thailand.

You are still a young man and can make the 2 years as a new life project for yourself. As Del Boy sez in Only Fools and Horse, those who dare wins, you know it makes sense, luvaly jubaly.

I have spoken to you here as I would speak to my own brother. It's all down to you now.

Edited by distortedlink
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Ok here is a story of which many of you will probably say " we got another one", but all opinions are being sort here so no problem.

My marriage fell about after 18 years in 2005 to an English girl who kept the house etc, etc.In Apr 2006 I had to freelance out in Los for 2 months and met girl X.

I met her in Pattaya ( I know, I know!).in a disco

Do the right thing for your daughter !

This is your blood & your future !

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Not fair, think_too_mutt.

Dishing out meaningless platitudes and 'there there, it will be oks" is much much more helpful than suggesting people face up to their responsibilities. As midastouch said, he knows a lot about Thai culture (from his bolthole in Sydney). He has every right to post assinine bullshit disguised as meaningful advice.

Get a grip.

I can't work out if your being sarcastic, but even if not, bloody funny post thank you

If you can't work out if he's being sarcastic, I'm afraid you're beyond helping.

Be quiet and go away Bendix

You've made your point, now you're just being boring.

I know that you're a one trick pony, you don't have to keep proving it.

The tenacity of your self righteousness says more about your own inability to have meaningful relationships than it does about Danny's situation.

Why don't you take some of your own advice for a change.

Edited by Robski
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Thanks for the advice Robski. I'm not sure what you mean by my ability to have meaningful relationships but I'm very happily married, thanks for asking. :-)

Here's a tip. If you don't like my posts, put me on ignore. It's very simple.

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Thanks for the advice Robski. I'm not sure what you mean by my ability to have meaningful relationships but I'm very happily married, thanks for asking. :-)

Here's a tip. If you don't like my posts, put me on ignore. It's very simple.

I wasn't asking, but then you never were the sharpest poster, just the most predictable.

Here's a tip, change the record.

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Seeing as this one's about to be closed in short order I'll throw in my 2 cents worth as quickly as possible.

Without getting into value judgements about OP's life choices, and assuming that his first wife and kids have already gotten a chunk of his cash and property, I would suggest he needs to sit down and think long and hard about what he really wants his life to look like for the next 20 years.

Does he want to continue his relationship with the Thai woman and their daughter over the long term? If so, it will be difficult to do from afar. If not, then sending them some money on a regular basis seems like the only right thing to do, assuming the child is in fact his, and he will have to accept that his GF may end up with a new man (I know, I know :o ) in her life.

If it was me, I'd do whatever necessary to secure my finances... take the first decent job offered... and try to send money and visit whenever possible.

Scam or no scam, if it's his daughter she ought to get some support from him -- that's the bottom line. 100K in one shot may be more than he can manage but it's not an unreasonable amount. Unfortunately it may be going to pay off old debt rather than buy food and clothes for the little one.

Tough situation, but OP seems like a decent sort who's made some less than stellar moves and gotten a few bad breaks besides. Best of luck to him and the little one... they could sure do with a little bit.

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well an update to this is:

I have finally got my skype bits from china and via a small amount I still had in paypal managed to get some credit.

I have just called X and more fool me, it seems it was all genuine.

The house is now temporarily lost and my Daughter is staying with X's sister in bangkok, while the grandparents bunk wherever.

X didn't want to bother me with the problems before.

If the loan gets paid they can move back

I have promised to do what I can-sod it, I will do my best to help, I now believe that 100% it is not a scam.

and to help them would be something I could do, and feel good about.

Thanks for all your opinions

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well an update to this is:

I have finally got my skype bits from china and via a small amount I still had in paypal managed to get some credit.

I have just called X and more fool me, it seems it was all genuine.

The house is now temporarily lost and my Daughter is staying with X's sister in bangkok, while the grandparents bunk wherever.

X didn't want to bother me with the problems before.

If the loan gets paid they can move back

I have promised to do what I can-sod it, I will do my best to help, I now believe that 100% it is not a scam.

and to help them would be something I could do, and feel good about.

Thanks for all your opinions

Good man Danny, bendix will be happy

Edited by khunandy
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Good stuff Danny, and it sounds as if your daughter is safe enough for now. Thai families are like that :o

As said before by others, if you just concentrate, mainly, on sorting yourself out, you will be much more use to them in the future.

Good luck

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Hi,

Some see the glass half full others see it half empty, depends which side of the bar you sit at maybe?

Having read the postings and also the many lips posted by the o/p on you tube I hope that my following comments are fair, if not entirely agreeable.

Brought up in a one horse town in devon, done a dick whittington up to the bright lights, was fortunate to find well paid work in the music industry and socialise on the music scene, later met meet a very nice woman early on in his life who gave him 4 children who she looked after for the next 18 years whilst she watched her husband enjoy what appear's to have led a peter pan lifestyle spending up to what he agrees was around £1500 on a good weekend.

I note that in his blog one of his songs is called Sensimellia dreams, and as the o/p claims the now ex wife has ended up with the not so cheap house in Surrey and is managing to remain in it whilst looking after 4 of his kids.

If the o/p is correct( and I have no reason to think other wise ) it seems possible that after 18 or so years of the good life the ex-wife possibly saw the writing on the wall that there isnt much call these days for 40+ year olds in the music industry and decided that the party looking lke it was going to come to an end sooner rather than later.

As the o/p has stated that the ex wife has never worked during the 18 year marriage period and also stated that the ex has plenty of money to support herself ( and presumably the kids?) for the next

10 years it makes you think about where the money she has now came from in the first place?

Was it her money, or from her family in the first place,who knows?

To live in Surry and in thestyle she appears to have been used to for the next ten years requires a HUGE amount of money, lucky lady to have it!

Did she inherit it? If so he is entitled to claim half of it.

Or is it possible the money has been generated under the table and she is confident he dare not submit a claim for his share of it?

From the clip of his trip to Goa and his choice of name for his music it seems he may be no stranger to the more enenlightened and alternative lifesyles, not that the matters too much but just exploring the possibilities you understand.

It would seem likley that the family trip to Thailand in 2004 may have been a bit of an eye opener for him and I guess his wife too, maybe she saw what she has been missing out on by marrying so early as is often the way these days and wanted to take contol of her life ( as they often do!).

Alternatively perhaps it was a case of a 40+ year old man with some dosh and an obvious eye for the ladies ( as evidenced by his posting a clip of a bevvy of beautiful babes from around the world on you tube) who wanted to sample the fine things he had discovered, not unknown to happen.

An aquaintaince of mine had a business which was cash only and he married a woman who was way smarter than he was ( not difficult!),and he made the cash which he stuffed in the cuboards until they could take no more, he reasoned ( wrongly) that as long as she had enough spending money that was enough to keep her on side.

Arrived home to find the locks changed, broke in cash gone ( well over £200k) and she walked back in the house with her Solicitor and having had the facts of life pointed out to him by the lawyer never saw either the house or the money again.

A tough lesson which has been experienced by many others and will continue to be experienced by many more to come I guess.

As the O/P appears to have left the matrimonial home for an open ended holiday at the expense of the

credit card company ( plus some cash I hope?) and the blls were presumably going to the home of the ex wife I really dont understand when having efectively cut his own throat by"sending" the reciepts the ex wife why he doesnt seem understand how she found out obout his new lady friend or even why she should get the hump and cancel the cards which were presumably joint or in some way provided by the bank/lender who dealt with their joint affairs!

A word from the ex in the ear to any lender about not having any income is likely to result in them taking action to protect themselves.

As for the new lady in his life, I can only say we all come with "baggage" one way or another. He certainly has and presumably so may she.

The bottom line is none of the above is worth the ink it is printed on!

He has my sympathy for the motoring accident and my congratualtions for what is clearly a beautiful baby, in which presumably his ex wife might viciously suggest he only had a small part in ( sorry bad sense of humour).

As for the not insignificant part he has played in the babys life to date, and the likely consequences of his not helping the mother of his child, and dispite the calls of some for a DNA test, in my eyes he is the only father the child has known, and that should be the end of the matter.

If you were big enought to fill a pram you should be big enough to maintain not only the pram but the baby and that includes providng for the mother, no different than the law insists upon here in the uk.

I also have a thai wife who is 20 years younger than me, six years or so years down the road I still appreciate her very much and yes I am aware that I am no oil painting and difficut to live with.

I provide love and care for her and her family as and when we can afford to do so and am pleased to do so, if she were to buggers off home to her family at some point in the future then does that make her any less of a person, I dont think so.

The O//P has stated he hates london now, so is it any more likely that a Thai person would prefer to live in the uk where it is cold, expensive and without friends or relatives to spend time with, or live in familiar surroundings and language?

I am in no doubt that a return to Thailand is on the cards at some point in the future, hopefully I will also be able to spend some time in the uk as I really dont think I can put up with some asspects of Thai life for much more than 8 months at a time, but thats just me.

Thai Family life is not easily understood, and although I have visited and lived in Thailand on an off for 15 + years unlike others I dont understand thai ways muh more today than I did previously, I do what I think is right at the time and by and large it works for me.

The only advice I would give the O/P is to stop feeling hard done by, we have all been in failed relationships before, and many of us will continue to do so again in the future I am sure.

She is the mother of your child and as such you need to respect her views far more than us armchair critics, £1500 may be a lot of money to you at the moment but it works out at less than a packet of cigarettes a day over a year.

I guess you may smoke and drink so why not try to put pen to paper and see what you spend what little money you have coming in now on and try to see what items are really as essential as providing a roof over the head of , and food in the belly of your beautiful little girl?

When you other kids required a new computer, designer gear, holidays and pocket money did you think of that as being a rip off? I hope not.

For what your british kids cost to feed and clothe for a week you could likely keep your Thai daughter

for several months, they have your ex wifes money to look after them this poor unwanted child.

Sorry if that seems a bit harsh but unless you get off your arse now thats exactly what she will be if you dont claim her 100% as you own and provide her with the equality with your other children she is entltled to recieve.

This Mother and child come as a package make no mistake, I note some clown has suggested that you should bring the baby to the uk and apparently without the mother. With no close family to look after her

here that is a total no brainer.

Beg borrow or steal the £1500, send it in 3 instalments over 9 months, if thats not acceptable then you have your answer form them.

Dont ever ask for her to provide documentation to prove or disprove her mother debt, the loss of face will return to bite you in the future.

Forget the debt title, this is not a loan, this is an investment in your childs future and dont you ever forget it, grandma is now providing the care which you should be providing right now, abusted up leg does not excuse the brain for not working out how to get the bread on the table.

No one I hope is unsympathetic about the leg, but its time to turn the page and start afresh, sure you have reservations, but didnt you have them with every relationship you ever had?

I am quite sure that over the years lots of your friends and aquaintences over the years have slaped you on the back and remarked what a clever/lucky person you are to have all that you once had, luck generally has little to do with it in my experience. You set the goals and you did what you had to do to get there,you are still the same person albeit a bit battered and brused along the way.

Admittedly looks can be deceptive but from your short clip on you tube you are lucky to have her, (I dont mean her looks either) if she is lucky to have met you at this point I would say it appears not.

You say you cannot aford to phone her much, have you ever used the cheap rate call numbers available on the "Nifty List"? 2pence per minute is available, up to 8-10p for calls to mobiles and landlines alike in Thailand fm the uk, makes bt and the rip off phone cards redundent.

Serch Google or Yahoo for NiftyList its a wnner!

Call her, tell her you have not got the money but you may be able to borrow a third of it and possibly help them with the rest later when you are on your feet ( sorry no pun intended).

Only you can judge if those 14 months meant enough to you that you are willing to get your finger out and dowhatever you can to get her and the baby over here and start afresh, if it fails after she has been here a while well you can make far more lasting damage by becoming involved with farang female dont you think?

On the long term you need to consider the possibility saving and going back to retire to Thailand at some point in the future, after all I take it you enjoyed the place and she will be delighed to be back amongst her own I am sure.

As you apparently have no assets at present you only have your ego to lose, on the other hand you have already hit the jackpot with you beautiful daughter so why not give your lady and yourself the chance to make a go of it?

I hope to hear that you are able to turn the corner and get her and the baby over here asap, true it will take time and effort on your part, but other than crashing out on mates floors and sofa's and sitting up all hours with your computer talking to complete strangers what else do you have planned for your future?

Best of luck to the THREE OF YOU.

Sorry about the length of this message but I hate monday mornings, :o:D:D makes me grumpy

roy

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I note some positive but quite a few negative replies to your post. Whats new on Thai Visa? I would hazard a guess the negative replies are from beer bellied Sex Gods who know it all and talk from experience having been hoodwinked themselves by the denizens of the night. My view is that this girl could have walked away from you a long time ago. And probably should have? My guess is that many of her ilk would have all ready suggested this to her. But to her credit she has stood by you and has presented you with a child. With that comes responsibilities. There is no doubt that word has spread to the money lender that you are in the picture. And no matter what you say all in-sundry will believe that the yellow brick road leads to your door. The best advice has all ready been offered. Hand over the money only after the house has put in your child's name and place the house papers in trust. I myself had a funny but annoying occurrence recently. I started seeing a young wench from the North of Thailand. She works as a hairdresser. I started to visit her every month and spend a very rewarding week or so with her. After we had been seeing each other for 3 months I paid a visit. I never went to her family home. I made it clear from the outset that her family was her problem not mine. Always set the ground rules from the outset. Her father is a farmer by the way. Never the less. Lo and behold on this visit I am offered the use of her fathers new Toyota. We have a farang is on board syndrome. I appear on the scene and the father takes out a loan for 250K for a poxy Toyota pick up that is 15 years old. Who cares the dumb farang will pay! The only snag on the offer was I would have to get the bus 50 miles to the family home but could have the car for the week. Ok says I why not? I arrived in the local village. Had lunch with her father and brother. When they finished they buggered off and of course left me the bill. I was informed that the car was in the local garage being serviced and we could walk around the corner and collect it. Well you probably guessed it? The car was there waiting for me along with a bill for 3500 Baht for repairing it. I reversed straight back out of the work shop and jumped the next bus back to the town.

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nip your story is not very encouraging if you trying to support op......................lol.

u be the first to send donation. you first hand know what he is up against.

about the preponderance of negative responses. its usually becoz situation stated by op is

goofy.

truthfully would you be proud to have a son or daughter like op. i still dont see him taking responsibility 4 his actions. its all bad luck so he says.

Edited by blizzard
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I note some positive but quite a few negative replies to your post. Whats new on Thai Visa? I would hazard a guess the negative replies are from beer bellied Sex Gods who know it all and talk from experience having been hoodwinked themselves by the denizens of the night. My view is that this girl could have walked away from you a long time ago. And probably should have? My guess is that many of her ilk would have all ready suggested this to her. But to her credit she has stood by you and has presented you with a child. With that comes responsibilities. There is no doubt that word has spread to the money lender that you are in the picture. And no matter what you say all in-sundry will believe that the yellow brick road leads to your door. The best advice has all ready been offered. Hand over the money only after the house has put in your child's name and place the house papers in trust. I myself had a funny but annoying occurrence recently. I started seeing a young wench from the North of Thailand. She works as a hairdresser. I started to visit her every month and spend a very rewarding week or so with her. After we had been seeing each other for 3 months I paid a visit. I never went to her family home. I made it clear from the outset that her family was her problem not mine. Always set the ground rules from the outset. Her father is a farmer by the way. Never the less. Lo and behold on this visit I am offered the use of her fathers new Toyota. We have a farang is on board syndrome. I appear on the scene and the father takes out a loan for 250K for a poxy Toyota pick up that is 15 years old. Who cares the dumb farang will pay! The only snag on the offer was I would have to get the bus 50 miles to the family home but could have the car for the week. Ok says I why not? I arrived in the local village. Had lunch with her father and brother. When they finished they buggered off and of course left me the bill. I was informed that the car was in the local garage being serviced and we could walk around the corner and collect it. Well you probably guessed it? The car was there waiting for me along with a bill for 3500 Baht for repairing it. I reversed straight back out of the work shop and jumped the next bus back to the town.

You might view some of us as negative, in reality, we don't look at life through rose-coloured specs! In my opinion, the OP is not showing any positivity. He wants a job in the music industry - this might be a long time coming, if ever! In the meantime, he should be sweeping the streets, collecting garbage, labouring on a building site, ANYTHING to earn money to support his child. Instead, he seems to spend his nights on thaivisa, so presumeably, his days sleeping!

Some of you want to wrap him up in cotton wool and kiss him night night! He doesn't need people feeling sorry for him, he has enough self-pity to last a life time.

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Good man Danny, bendix will be happy

You're quite right khunandy. I am happy. Not happy that the grandparents are homeless, nor happy about the kid going to live in Bkk (where, by the way, is X?)

But certainly happy that the OP has grown a pair and decided that he has to meet his responsibilities.

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Good man Danny, bendix will be happy

You're quite right khunandy. I am happy. Not happy that the grandparents are homeless, nor happy about the kid going to live in Bkk (where, by the way, is X?)

But certainly happy that the OP has grown a pair and decided that he has to meet his responsibilities.

My friend you have so much to learn from life rather than the standard script

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I note some positive but quite a few negative replies to your post. Whats new on Thai Visa? I would hazard a guess the negative replies are from beer bellied Sex Gods who know it all and talk from experience having been hoodwinked themselves by the denizens of the night. My view is that this girl could have walked away from you a long time ago. And probably should have? My guess is that many of her ilk would have all ready suggested this to her. But to her credit she has stood by you and has presented you with a child. With that comes responsibilities. There is no doubt that word has spread to the money lender that you are in the picture. And no matter what you say all in-sundry will believe that the yellow brick road leads to your door. The best advice has all ready been offered. Hand over the money only after the house has put in your child's name and place the house papers in trust. I myself had a funny but annoying occurrence recently. I started seeing a young wench from the North of Thailand. She works as a hairdresser. I started to visit her every month and spend a very rewarding week or so with her. After we had been seeing each other for 3 months I paid a visit. I never went to her family home. I made it clear from the outset that her family was her problem not mine. Always set the ground rules from the outset. Her father is a farmer by the way. Never the less. Lo and behold on this visit I am offered the use of her fathers new Toyota. We have a farang is on board syndrome. I appear on the scene and the father takes out a loan for 250K for a poxy Toyota pick up that is 15 years old. Who cares the dumb farang will pay! The only snag on the offer was I would have to get the bus 50 miles to the family home but could have the car for the week. Ok says I why not? I arrived in the local village. Had lunch with her father and brother. When they finished they buggered off and of course left me the bill. I was informed that the car was in the local garage being serviced and we could walk around the corner and collect it. Well you probably guessed it? The car was there waiting for me along with a bill for 3500 Baht for repairing it. I reversed straight back out of the work shop and jumped the next bus back to the town.

You might view some of us as negative, in reality, we don't look at life through rose-coloured specs! In my opinion, the OP is not showing any positivity. He wants a job in the music industry - this might be a long time coming, if ever! In the meantime, he should be sweeping the streets, collecting garbage, labouring on a building site, ANYTHING to earn money to support his child. Instead, he seems to spend his nights on thaivisa, so presumeably, his days sleeping!

Some of you want to wrap him up in cotton wool and kiss him night night! He doesn't need people feeling sorry for him, he has enough self-pity to last a life time.

And that is your last cheap shot Westerner,if you had followed the thread you may learn that the OP is still recovering from the injuries he received in Cambodia so menial labour is probably not possible. Your posts are increasingly argumentive and will not be tolerated .

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My friend you have so much to learn from life rather than the standard script

Ummmmm . actually, i was agreeing with you danny. You're so wrapped up in your world that you can't see that. I sense that part of your personality has contributed to where are you are now.

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Exactly. Reading Danny's posts, it's obvious that he wants affirmation, acceptance, and approval from a bunch of strangers...rather than his loved ones. That doesn't make sense. Too, he has changed his story several times about the money.

First, it as for his GF's mother to "repay a loan shark", a hoax if I ever read one. Second, it was to "support my daughter". What part of the 100K THB does he think will be used to support his duaghter? Not a single baht. Third, it was to pay back his GF for tending to him when he was "mashed up". In any supportive, nurturing, and loving relationship, partners are expected to love, nurture, and support. However, rather than repay graciousness and generosity with gratiousness and generosity, Danny believes that he needs to repay it in cash. For some reason, he wants to treat his GF as a prostitute. Hmmm.

In any case, Danny should realize that the 100K THB is just the first installment. When the family knows that he will allow himself to be cheated, all sorts of dire consquences will occur: daughter needs a new liver, mom broke her hip, grandma has breast cancer. It's all very sad. Eventually, Danny will relaize that he's been taken for a ride, and he's going to return to the TV threads and ask "why did they take advantage of me?", and the answer will be "because you wanted them to."

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