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Posted (edited)
seonai

If you have friends who are not controlled by their bias and are truly able to hear and learn from different opinions then you are indeed a lucky person.

Group thought and discussion can produce socially acceptable results but seldom leads to groundbreaking new ideas. The ones who come up with the ideas that others follow don't normally get their motivation from support groups who tell them what they want to hear.

Yes, people can come up with creative ideas on their own, yes, making decisions by commitee can be inferior to being led by a visionary, and yes, brainstorming with others very often leads to novel solutions that would never otherwise occur. It isn't black and white, yes or no.

It seems you are claiming black only - creativity and stimulation can be 100% given in solitary. Maybe it's only 90% for some people. Or more or less.

And as for assigning motives to others, that why we have emotive faces and intellects. We not only get to second guess other peoples stated motives, we have no choice but to do so. The best we can.

Edited by xsplat
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Posted
seonai

If you have friends who are not controlled by their bias and are truly able to hear and learn from different opinions then you are indeed a lucky person.

Group thought and discussion can produce socially acceptable results but seldom leads to groundbreaking new ideas. The ones who come up with the ideas that others follow don't normally get their motivation from support groups who tell them what they want to hear.

Yes, people can come up with creative ideas on their own, yes, making decisions by commitee can be inferior to being led by a visionary, and yes, brainstorming with others very often leads to novel solutions that would never otherwise occur. It isn't black and white, yes or no.

It seems you are claiming black only - creativity and stimulation can be 100% given in solitary. Maybe it's only 90% for some people. Or more or less.

And as for assigning motives to others, that why we have emotive faces and intellects. We not only get to second guess other peoples stated motives, we have no choice but to do so. The best we can.

I was just playing "devil's advocate" so to speak. Trying to represent the other end of the spectrum.

Assuming that I see things in black and white is an excellent example of misreading others motives or meanings. My blog entries make that quite clear.

When so few people are aware of their own motivations, it is a little hard, to assume accuracy when reading others. Throw into the mix different cultural, ethnic, religious, age and sexual orientations and the "read" becomes that much more iffy.

Posted
Seems to me that many of you are confusing, being a "social Chatty Cathy" with intellect. A true intellect is not limited or defined by who it can talk to. Introspection is often more enlightening than verbosity and pontification.

Which you seem to be very good at vf. Bet you're BaF up there aren't you. :D

OK, I'll bite and show my stupidity. What does BaF mean? I have come up with several possibilities on my own but can't decide which one you meant. I am also having difficulty with what you think I'm good at. The introspection or the pontification stuff? One answer would imply that you have read my blog while the other, I'm not sure.

:oJust an attempt at some intellectual stimulation .

I'm asuminging you are er, American. BoredAsFck. And, yes, I did have the opportunity, nay 'happenstance' of viewing a segment of your blog, and found the bit about the 'model' particularly enlightening as to your character. Hmmmm, let me see, 'and at least the new Thai boyfriend of this beautiful 'model'[/i] showed respect by waiing me. (sic)

By the way. Only the local buffalo think you are 'intellectually stimulating'. Or maybe not.

Apparently you missed the point of that particular vignette in my blog. It was describing the karmic nature of "what goes around, comes around". It was only fitting that after being on the other side so many times, that I should one day fall victim, too.

By the way, no need to insult the poor buffalos.

BoredAsFck, wow that possibility never made the list.

Posted (edited)
When so few people are aware of their own motivations, it is a little hard, to assume accuracy when reading others. Throw into the mix different cultural, ethnic, religious, age and sexual orientations and the "read" becomes that much more iffy.

Yes, sure, scoping out other peoples motivations is iffy. As I said, I'd rather be wrong, speak up, and then learn new information that can correct my view than just play dumb. Because I'm not dumb. Very often I'm right.

I'm argumentative also, and like to play devils advocate. I usually have a reason to choose what side to advocate for, though. Did you, this time? What about my guess, that you enjoy feeling a part of the community and don't want to diss them? Dissing them would make you personally uncomfortable.

Edited by xsplat
Posted
When so few people are aware of their own motivations, it is a little hard, to assume accuracy when reading others. Throw into the mix different cultural, ethnic, religious, age and sexual orientations and the "read" becomes that much more iffy.

Yes, sure, scoping out other peoples motivations is iffy. As I said, I'd rather be wrong, speak up, and then learn new information that can correct my view than just play dumb. Because I'm not dumb. Very often I'm right.

I'm argumentative also, and like to play devils advocate. I usually have a reason to choose what side to advocate for, though. Did you, this time? What about my guess, that you enjoy feeling a part of the community and don't want to diss them? Dissing them would make you personally uncomfortable.

You obviously haven't read my blog. I have always been the proverbial lone wolf. My lovely wife has tamed the savage beast a bit but I am still not a joiner, follower or sheep to be led by others. I too am a student of life but don't consider it "dumb" to allow others to live their lives without my passing judgement on their motives.

Being a cynic by nature I probably just have very low expectations of people in general. Also being very independent leaves me little concerned with others actions as they have very little effect on my life.

It can be entertaining to watch things unfold, but I usually feel no need to take sides or root for a particular outcome. I am pleased, seeing the triumphs of others, but feel not guilt or anguish at their failures. After all they belong to them, not me.

As for your question about my reasons, perhaps I was just being argumentative. After all my expectation of most people is that they are already doing what they are capable of, for whatever reason. Some are capable of growth and understanding but sadly many have their hearts set on more earthly and material goals.

In short I think you were off the mark on all counts.

Posted (edited)
You obviously haven't read my blog. I have always been the proverbial lone wolf. My lovely wife has tamed the savage beast a bit but I am still not a joiner, follower or sheep to be led by others. I too am a student of life but don't consider it "dumb" to allow others to live their lives without my passing judgement on their motives.

I'm a bit of a lone wolf also. That's one reason I choose to be an alcoholic, as it makes me happy socially. I also don't like to judge people, but that doesn't mean I don't want to understand them as clearly as possible, and that includes understanding their motives. I once dated a woman (girl, really) with borderline personality disorder. Man, was she ever tough to figure out. But after a while I got a better handle on her motivations. Worlds apart from her stated motivations. From her sometimes sociopath ways, I now feel I can even understand sociopaths better. And that is not about judging. I can understand a crockodile and not need to judge it. I might eat it, or runaway from it though.

Being a cynic by nature I probably just have very low expectations of people in general. Also being very independent leaves me little concerned with others actions as they have very little effect on my life.

You're lucky about the low expectations. I tend to get all riled up about wrongs toward myself, as if other people should know better. My skin is getting much thicker though. Calloused in places. I blame Asia, and I thank Asia.

It can be entertaining to watch things unfold, but I usually feel no need to take sides or root for a particular outcome. I am pleased, seeing the triumphs of others, but feel not guilt or anguish at their failures. After all they belong to them, not me.

And again, I think judging and understanding are different. To get all Buddhist about it, I think it's possible to do 3 usually contradictory things: 1) Engage empathetically 2) Not get swamped by emotion and have some impersonal distance, and 3) Understand the details, to some extent, of someone elses position.

As for your question about my reasons, perhaps I was just being argumentative. After all my expectation of most people is that they are already doing what they are capable of, for whatever reason. Some are capable of growth and understanding but sadly many have their hearts set on more earthly and material goals.

In short I think you were off the mark on all counts.

Well there you go, and look how much fun we had, me being wrong in public! Way better than me being all deferential to my own ignorance.

Edited by xsplat
Posted

I'm sure we must be boring others with our little repartee, so I'm quite willing to leave your post as the last word on this, allowing someone else to continue the thread.

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