You Know You're British When .......

[Crossy]

Since "You know you're Aussie when" has been done to death how about :-

You know you're British when .......

1. You believe that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday are all good nights for drinking. Sunday is also entirely reasonable.
   
2. After a big night out you find yourself looking for a curry house.
   
3. Coming to work with a hangover is entirely accepted and indeed expected at least once a week.
   
4. You're always half an hour late to work and no one notices or even cares.
   
5. You can actually give directions to tourists on Oxford Street!
   
6. You step over a drunk on the underground rather than offering to help them.
   
7. You don't even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the morning to check what the weather is like. You know it is grey and overcast.
   
8. You consider a suit to be normal attire for the pub.
   
9. You expect men to actually cut, comb and style their hair (using hair products), to wear decent clothes and moisturise daily.
   
10. You collapse with laughter when listening to the funny accent of the Aussie international telephone operator (or on TV!).
    
11. You think £40 for a haircut is quite reasonable.
    
12. You can't remember what 'customer service' means.
    
13. More than three hours sunlight on summer days seems excessive.
    
14. You don't think twice about tipping your hairdresser
    
15. You finish every sentence with 'Cheers' or 'Yeah'.
    
16. You only realise you have lost your sun glasses when you remember you left them in Greece 2 summers ago.
    
17. You like English cooking. After all, it's hard to beat a full English breakfast.
    
18. You are on to your 6th umbrella and your second overcoat... this year.
    
19. You buy disposable baby BBQs from Tesco.
    
20. A day at the beach means wearing the warmest clothes you own while standing on golf ball-size pebbles and the thought of swimming doesn't even enter your head.
    
21. You always call soccer "football" and you support a team that's not Manchester United.
    
22. You don't think twice about buying a sandwich wrapped in cellophane.
    
23. A sunny lunchtime means searching for a patch of grass and stripping off practically down to your underwear.
    
24. You've accepted queuing as a way of life. In fact you're proud of how good you are at it.
    

Some are a little, er, weak, I admit. Perhaps we also need an "Are Brits really that bad" thread, or maybe not

Edited March 6, 2008 by Crossy

[BigSnake]

[devona]

Not only are we good at queuing we can actually make a queue of 1 person - that's a true Brit!

[nidge]

That's great news, i'm no longer british. Hooray!

[Crossy]

That's great news, i'm no longer british. Hooray!

You mean NONE of them apply nidge? Surely you must therefore now be French (or Belgian)

Edited March 6, 2008 by Crossy

[nidge]

Ok, so i know how to queue and i laugh at australians, but that only makes me 1/12th british.

[Momo8]

'You know you're British when'.............you lie back and think of the Queen during sex.

At least in Australia our imagination is better.

[suegha]

'You know you're British when'.............you lie back and think of the Queen during sex.

At least in Australia our imagination is better.

How very Victorian of you Mo!

[nidge]

You know when you are gay and british when you think of A queen when having sex

[Crossy]

You know when you are gay and british when you think of A queen when having sex

Some years back, during Her Majestys' Golden Jubilee there were on sale 'official' T-shirts bearing the legend "50 Years A Queen". These became very popular with the older gay community, they were quickly withdrawn from sale :D

Edited March 7, 2008 by Crossy

[suegha]

You know when you are gay and british when you think of A queen when having sex

Some years back, during Her Majestys' Golden Jubilee there were on sale 'official' T-shirts bearing the legend "50 Years A Queen". These became very popular with the older gay community, they were quickly withdrawn from sale :D

Ah, what a shame!

[Nignoy]

You know you are english when your wife still Irons the knots on the corners of your handkerchief when you are on holiday,

You know you have been in australia to long when you think you are welldressed for the pub in uggboots,faded Yakka shorts, string vest and a Brisbane Lions beanie and bird watching is perving the topless beach from the veranda of Bribie Surf Club Nignoy

[Old Croc]

You know you are english when your wife still Irons the knots on the corners of your handkerchief when you are on holiday,

You know you have been in australia to long when you think you are welldressed for the pub in uggboots,faded Yakka shorts, string vest and a Brisbane Lions beanie and bird watching is perving the topless beach from the veranda of Bribie Surf Club Nignoy

You couldn't help yourself Nignoy! Even in this thread you had to have a go at your adopted homeland.

You know you are English when you still think your country rules the world.

You know you are English when you think you are smarter then everyone in mainland Europe.

You know you are English when you think the drunken pub games of darts and pool are actually sports.

You know you are English when you confuse your local soccer team with your religion.

You know you are English when you think your country is the greatest in the world, but fall all over yourselves to migrate permanently to any other place on the planet.

[PhilHarries]

You know you are British when in the same sentence you complain about the visa requirements for long term stays in Thailand then moan that the reason you left Britain was that the government is letting in too many bluddy foreigners.

[Nignoy]

You know you are english when your wife still Irons the knots on the corners of your handkerchief when you are on holiday,

You know you have been in australia to long when you think you are welldressed for the pub in uggboots,faded Yakka shorts, string vest and a Brisbane Lions beanie and bird watching is perving the topless beach from the veranda of Bribie Surf Club Nignoy

You couldn't help yourself Nignoy! Even in this thread you had to have a go at your adopted homeland.

You know you are English when you still think your country rules the world.

You know you are English when you think you are smarter then everyone in mainland Europe.

You know you are English when you think the drunken pub games of darts and pool are actually sports.

You know you are English when you confuse your local soccer team with your religion.

You know you are English when you think your country is the greatest in the world, but fall all over yourselves to migrate permanently to any other place on the planet.

Aw diddums Nignoy

[suegha]

This thread just gets funnier and funnier!

[crowbait]

You know you're English when you moan all night in the pub about foreign food then go down the "Indian" for a curry.

You know you're English when you think that chips in curry sauce is a gastronomic achievement.

You know you're English when you rank Scots, Irish and the Welsh along with all other foreigners.

You know you're English when you start to blame the Government for the weather.

You know you're English when you are too cold to take your vest and socks off for sex

You know you're English when you that the rest of the world respects your opinions.

You know you're English when you believe there should be an olympic event in moaning 'coz you'ld go gold every time.

You know you're English when you you can laugh at yourself longer and harder than any other nation can laugh at you

[BambinA]

You Know You're British When .......

when somebody you don't like asked you out and you said " Blimey!! I caan't daance. Give me a wee break. I don't want to go out with a bloody chav. I'm going to my flat now. Toodle pip!!

[suegha]

You Know You're British When .......

when somebody you don't like asked you out and you said " Blimey!! I caan't daance. Give me a wee break. I don't want to go out with a bloody chav. I'm going to my flat now. Toodle pip!!

Oh Bambi, you're not really British are you?

[Nignoy]

You know you are british when your local shopkeepers name is Patel,your doctors name is Singh or Gupta, your postman is a rasta, and your local Pub staff are aussiesand your favourite food is Lamb Biryani Nignoy

[chavy]

You know you are english when your wife still Irons the knots on the corners of your handkerchief when you are on holiday,

You know you have been in australia to long when you think you are welldressed for the pub in uggboots,faded Yakka shorts, string vest and a Brisbane Lions beanie and bird watching is perving the topless beach from the veranda of Bribie Surf Club Nignoy

You couldn't help yourself Nignoy! Even in this thread you had to have a go at your adopted homeland.

You know you are English when you still think your country rules the world.

You know you are English when you think you are smarter then everyone in mainland Europe.

You know you are English when you think the drunken pub games of darts and pool are actually sports.

You know you are English when you confuse your local soccer team with your religion.

You know you are English when you think your country is the greatest in the world, but fall all over yourselves to migrate permanently to any other place on the planet.

Thank god I'm a proud Brit !! The above confirms it

[chavy]

Ohh, I nearly forgot....The title needs changing to "You know when your ENGLISH" Brits include those foreigners from North & West of the border areas....unfortunately