No Kissing

[kat]

Ok Kat, understood your point better now, its late here sorry.

Can we have a little less of the 'in your world' rubbish though as I was only asking a question based on something you said.

To be fair, in that situation I would offer the separate room as well, I'd hope she didn't take it (!) but the offer would be there.

But she does have the option of not taking a trip though? So hardly would call it controlling unless you are a very easily controlled person. She just has to say 'no' doesn't she?

It's not rubbish. Men and women are at times from different worlds. I posted before seeing this follow-up post, so I'm sure there will be more discussion. I will be back later to continue. And before anyone goes ballistic about the "accustomed" comment, that is also pertinent, because in the East women are more focused on submerging their point of view in deference to the male's, especially when she is less powerful than him, either economically or confidence-wise.

*Also Burman, to be fair, my comments are aimed generally at the thread, not solely at you. It is not an accusation of any sort, and I am sure you are a perfect gentleman.

Edited April 4, 2008 by kat

[burman]

Not carried away, simply reading your words back to you and some of the implicit or perceived attitudes therein. I love how on this forum, a definite and unapologetic female point of view is always "carried away." Perhaps that's because you're not accustomed to how we really think.

Excuse me Kat, I do not always say that a female point of view point is carried away, I specifically told you that you was getting carried away. Don't hide behind your sex and don't accuse me of something just because other men on this forum have acted that way before.

[burman]

It's not rubbish. Men and women are at times from different worlds.

Yes I believe I took your comment the wrong way, apologies.

And before anyone goes ballistic about the "accustomed" comment, that is also pertinent, because in the East women are more focused on submerging their point of view in deference to the male's, especially when she is less powerful than him, either economically or confidence-wise.

I know many women from the east that do not submerge their point of view in anyway at all. Many more than I do women that submerge their point of view. So I don't think I have become accustomed to anything of the sort.

I would have to say that I do agree with you up to a point. The offering of a trip in return for sex? And no other trip option even being put on the table does seem wrong. I wouldn't say 'controlling' so much though, I think there's a better phrase for it but at 5 am I cannot think of one.

'Controlling' suggests to me like that there are no options on the table, but maybe thats not right.

Edited April 4, 2008 by burman

[kat]

Not carried away, simply reading your words back to you and some of the implicit or perceived attitudes therein. I love how on this forum, a definite and unapologetic female point of view is always "carried away." Perhaps that's because you're not accustomed to how we really think.

Excuse me Kat, I do not always say that a female point of view point is carried away, I specifically told you that you was getting carried away. Don't hide behind your sex and don't accuse me of something just because other men on this forum have acted that way before.

Well, I didn't, and I'm not, nor do I ever.

*added: " ... don't accuse me of something just because other men on this forum have acted that way before." That is more accurate. But, as I said, I was dealing with possible implicit messages in your statement, and also not talking solely about you. Again, not an attack, but it is instructive to understand how both sides of the coin view the same scenario and statements ... isn't it?

Be back later.

Edited April 4, 2008 by kat

[burman]

Kat come on, you played the female card and you know it. But we have to agree to disagree on this or we will never get anywhere.

but it is instructive to understand how both sides of the coin view the same scenario and statements ... isn't it?

Yes indeed, its why I asked. Never one to debate and win points, only to broaden my own thinking. The Ladies forum is particularly good for that, we are often a world apart as you said earlier.

Ok, lets start on a fresh one coz I think we agreed on the last point.

How about the woman is controlling him by not giving him sex?

We all know it's a man's great weakness, is she by holding it back manipulating him also?

If a man has to come to the point of offering a trip away with the shared room deal, we jump to say he is controlling her, using the trip to get sex.

But let's step back here for a second, couldn't the woman also be accused of holding back sex until she got a trip? Is she not controlling also?

(ps. not about OPs case so much, but a little hypothetical)

Edited April 4, 2008 by burman

[lioness]

Traditional Thai culture doesn't involve kissing. They place their nose next to your skin, be in on the cheek or the neck, whatever and inhale. Also affection is not shown in public.

Of course many have learnt along the way, some like it some do not.

Then if you get away from tradition, and from a womans point of view there's the normal everyday considerations, bad breath, smoking, rotton teeth, badly fitting dentures and big noses, flabby pale faces, double chins, balding pates, wrinkles and so on.

[kdvsn]

Ok, here goes at a request for advice and this seems to be the best place to ask as it seems you ladies will have a better insight into this.

I am confused. Easy done at times, I admit that.

A little background would help, I suppose, so here goes.

For the last 6 weeks or so I have been seeing a lady. Met her in a night club after offering her ice for her drink when I saw she had none and then talking to her in my limited Thai and telling her she is beautiful. Gave her a card with my phone number on it and left it to her to call or not. She did.

It may or may not be of relevence that she is Thai/Chinese. 25 years old (I now discover and about 10 years younger than I would normally look for, but in half light of a club, it can be hard to discern a persons real age and Thais rarely seem to look their age).

She has since bought 2 books to help her speak English as she spoke little no English at all when we met. An offer to help with the cost of the books was refused.

So, we have been out quite a few times, to the park for a walk (first date where she took my hand), restaurants and coffees and clubs.

On telling her I was going to BKK to see an old friend from the UK she asked if she could come along. We had seperate rooms and the only time I entered her room was to show her how to use the key fob to activate the electrics when she tried to turn on the lights and came knocking at my door for help.

Valentine's she got chocolates, a meal and then taken home.

A little over a week ago I met the parents when we all went for lunch. Here, she openly took my hand in front of her parents inside the restaurant, at the table and when out walking afterwards.

She will put her arm round me, hold hands openly, put her head on my shoulder and even drape her leg over mine as well as 'playing' with my body with her fingers. All this is reciprocated except when she touches my chest, I refrain from doing the same to her

Bought her flowers in the restaurant the other night too.

Taken her to her parents home in the car and then gone on home myself.

Each time we arrive at her parents house it is a quick exit and 'goodnight'.

Now, my confusion is in the fact she will not let me kiss her, I tried twice and have not done so since. Considering the open way she is with me in all other respects maybe you can understand my confusion. I am certainly no Adonis but with all this hand holding etc., in public I get the 'feeling' I am being shown off.

This is not the first Thai lady I have dated, if that helps, but their attitudes were totally different. The new g/f gained a lot of respect in my eyes when wanting seperate rooms when we went to BKK and I do care a lot about her. She is affectionate and insists - upon my asking - that she does not want to be 'just friends', yet that is what we seem to be, albeit very affectionate friends.

A couple of odd things, not sure if they are relevent :-

She has told me she does not like my friend in BKK or his long term Thai g/f and if I go back to see them, she does not want to go.

She will, while walking or in clubs, restaurants and other places, make strange gestures. These can be one word utterances or the sticking out of her tongue and similar strange behaviour.

I am old enough to know that some will kiss first date or a little while later, but, considering how open and affectionate she is in other respects, 6 weeks or so and still no kiss? A variety of reasons spring to mind as to why this is. Am I expecting too much too fast in the desire for this to progress? But I am also wondering if there is something more cultural or otherwise that I am not seeing here. And am asking - especially you ladies - for some opinion or insight, if that is Ok.

Have you tried asking her why she will not let you kiss her?

[toptuan]

Ok, here goes at a request for advice and this seems to be the best place to ask as it seems you ladies will have a better insight into this.

I am confused. Easy done at times, I admit that.

A little background would help, I suppose, so here goes.

For the last 6 weeks or so I have been seeing a lady. Met her in a night club after offering her ice for her drink when I saw she had none and then talking to her in my limited Thai and telling her she is beautiful. Gave her a card with my phone number on it and left it to her to call or not. She did.

It may or may not be of relevence that she is Thai/Chinese. 25 years old (I now discover and about 10 years younger than I would normally look for, but in half light of a club, it can be hard to discern a persons real age and Thais rarely seem to look their age).

She has since bought 2 books to help her speak English as she spoke little no English at all when we met. An offer to help with the cost of the books was refused.

So, we have been out quite a few times, to the park for a walk (first date where she took my hand), restaurants and coffees and clubs.

On telling her I was going to BKK to see an old friend from the UK she asked if she could come along. We had seperate rooms and the only time I entered her room was to show her how to use the key fob to activate the electrics when she tried to turn on the lights and came knocking at my door for help.

Valentine's she got chocolates, a meal and then taken home.

A little over a week ago I met the parents when we all went for lunch. Here, she openly took my hand in front of her parents inside the restaurant, at the table and when out walking afterwards.

She will put her arm round me, hold hands openly, put her head on my shoulder and even drape her leg over mine as well as 'playing' with my body with her fingers. All this is reciprocated except when she touches my chest, I refrain from doing the same to her

Bought her flowers in the restaurant the other night too.

Taken her to her parents home in the car and then gone on home myself.

Each time we arrive at her parents house it is a quick exit and 'goodnight'.

Now, my confusion is in the fact she will not let me kiss her, I tried twice and have not done so since. Considering the open way she is with me in all other respects maybe you can understand my confusion. I am certainly no Adonis but with all this hand holding etc., in public I get the 'feeling' I am being shown off.

This is not the first Thai lady I have dated, if that helps, but their attitudes were totally different. The new g/f gained a lot of respect in my eyes when wanting seperate rooms when we went to BKK and I do care a lot about her. She is affectionate and insists - upon my asking - that she does not want to be 'just friends', yet that is what we seem to be, albeit very affectionate friends.

A couple of odd things, not sure if they are relevent :-

She has told me she does not like my friend in BKK or his long term Thai g/f and if I go back to see them, she does not want to go.

She will, while walking or in clubs, restaurants and other places, make strange gestures. These can be one word utterances or the sticking out of her tongue and similar strange behaviour.

I am old enough to know that some will kiss first date or a little while later, but, considering how open and affectionate she is in other respects, 6 weeks or so and still no kiss? A variety of reasons spring to mind as to why this is. Am I expecting too much too fast in the desire for this to progress? But I am also wondering if there is something more cultural or otherwise that I am not seeing here. And am asking - especially you ladies - for some opinion or insight, if that is Ok.

Have you tried asking her why she will not let you kiss her?

Have you read the thread past the opening post?

[aazA]

Oral hygene etc in good order. Doubt if she would get so close otherwise if I had problems

Brit - As above... tried asking.

Often Thai's ' sniff ' the partner's neck / face as a form of intimacy. Try that on her.

Worth a try,thai,s call it (HOM) no pun intended .

[kat]

Kat come on, you played the female card and you know it. But we have to agree to disagree on this or we will never get anywhere.

How about the woman is controlling him by not giving him sex?

We all know it's a man's great weakness, is she by holding it back manipulating him also?

If a man has to come to the point of offering a trip away with the shared room deal, we jump to say he is controlling her, using the trip to get sex.

But let's step back here for a second, couldn't the woman also be accused of holding back sex until she got a trip? Is she not controlling also?

I play the hand I was dealt, Burman. But, love and sex isn't a card game for me.

So, yes, I agree with you that women can also use sex as manipulation, which was stated previously already.

However, if a woman is not ready to have sex, it should not always be viewed as manipulation. It could simply mean that she is not ready.

If that is hard for a potential partner to understand, he should make decisions for his own actions based on that reality, rather than trying to control reality by manipulating her circumstances. We only have control over ourselves. In other words, he should either talk about it with her and decide from there, or walk away. If a male presented me with close-ended options that are solely decided by him, then it would be my decision to walk away.

In relation to the OP, there are ethical issues to the "options" as we discussed here because she is MUCH younger than him. If he thinks she is playing him, then that is manipulation on her part and he should leave. If he is trying to manipulate the situation to pressure her, then he should find someone on his experience and readiness level and he should leave. End of story.

[intumult]

Whoa!!!

Well past that point of no kissing. H_ll, I did not expect this to be still running. Sheesh, I expected this to have died off ages ago.

LucMee - negotiating a kiss?? <deleted>? How do you negotiate a kiss?? Unless you are so used to the seedier side of life that you have to negotiate each step of the way. Ahhh and you think life is full of Trolls. No problem.

So, she was as she was. Seperate rooms? That was not really a problem. If all I wanted was a quick shag I could have gone to other females. If all she wanted was a shag in the first day or so, I would have viewed her differently too. (shag being rather crude, but seems to fit some peoples thoughts). Love-making is more what I would be interested in.

Age difference? She thinks anyone under 35 is a 'boy'. Her words.

Kissing is now sweet as. Took time and to overcome her initial problems.

For some people they seem to think that age is such a huge thing, for others they do not see it as a barrier. That makes me think it has to be down to the person in question and their own hang-ups or whatever. I see many Thai couples with big age differences and it does not bother them. This has to be a 'Western' problem. Maybe some older people have 'something' about them. Maybe all are not old and fat ugly and wrinkly. Some are quite 'with it' and a little crazy too. Maybe even fun to be with, good company and more caring. (I cannot comment on what I am like as people will use that as a weapon LOL).

Money? Nope. She is not after that. OK, there was an initial attempt at Farang 'extortion' for sinsot but that was soon quelled (and the request for money was not the g/f's). In fact, she was the one who told the family no after I talked to her.

This being the first Thai lady to buy me presents. She and her immediate family do not ask for money or goods In fact, they give more than they receive. Take the simple thing like the shirt they bought me for 'Mothers Day' today (Sunday) for when I was invited round to the family home. The family simply wanted me to fit in, be at home, whatever. They bought the shirt with no strings attached.

They - and she - will cook food and bring it to my house on the family motorcycle. Another way of making sure I am looked after, though they know fine well I can cook, clean, do the laundy and the ironing etc.

As it is, things have turned out well. We are happy. Will it stay that way? Who knows. Will there be another tomorrow? I don't know that either.

[waza]

hmmm, my Gf is thai chinese, well educated ect....She has no problems with Kissing, Thai or Farrang style.....Even kissed on the first date. Seems like this girl has a few issues, not kissing, making strange noises and facial guestures. Are you sure she is a true female?

[rixalex]

hmmm, my Gf is thai chinese, well educated ect....She has no problems with Kissing, Thai or Farrang style.....Even kissed on the first date. Seems like this girl has a few issues,

I have to say i would be more worried about a girl who kisses on the first date, than one who holds out, good education or not. Unless of course we are talking about short time.

[LucMee]

Whoa!!!

Well past that point of no kissing. H_ll, I did not expect this to be still running. Sheesh, I expected this to have died off ages ago.

LucMee - negotiating a kiss?? <deleted>? How do you negotiate a kiss?? Unless you are so used to the seedier side of life that you have to negotiate each step of the way. Ahhh and you think life is full of Trolls. No problem.

So, she was as she was. Seperate rooms? That was not really a problem. If all I wanted was a quick shag I could have gone to other females. If all she wanted was a shag in the first day or so, I would have viewed her differently too. (shag being rather crude, but seems to fit some peoples thoughts). Love-making is more what I would be interested in.

Age difference? She thinks anyone under 35 is a 'boy'. Her words.

I appreciate your attempt to belittle my opinion... But you obviously didn't read my post and you've tripped yourself up in your own answer... I specifically stated that you could "negotiate" the details of a separate room... Something requiring a bit more than "basic communication" ...yet could not "communicate" the issue of a kiss... Just seems to me that your tale is a bit "constructed"

You yourself mentioned the books... I've been dealing with Thailand, Thais and Thai Culture since 1984... Including seedy... HiSo and pretty much everything in between... And I feel that I'm being generous in stating my opinion that you are Trolling... I may have other opinions ... But I'll keep them to myself...

Anyway... Here's wishing you and your lady friend all the best...

Edited April 24, 2008 by LucMee

[rixalex]

Money? Nope. She is not after that. OK, there was an initial attempt at Farang 'extortion' for sinsot but that was soon quelled (and the request for money was not the g/f's). In fact, she was the one who told the family no after I talked to her.

This being the first Thai lady to buy me presents. She and her immediate family do not ask for money or goods In fact, they give more than they receive. Take the simple thing like the shirt they bought me for 'Mothers Day' today (Sunday) for when I was invited round to the family home. The family simply wanted me to fit in, be at home, whatever. They bought the shirt with no strings attached.

They - and she - will cook food and bring it to my house on the family motorcycle. Another way of making sure I am looked after, though they know fine well I can cook, clean, do the laundy and the ironing etc.

As it is, things have turned out well. We are happy. Will it stay that way? Who knows. Will there be another tomorrow? I don't know that either.

Not saying that this is true in your case, but speaking in general terms, i think it's true to say that some guys in these sorts of relationships (i mean foreign guy with much younger Thai girl) are fooled by the girl's and her family's seeming disinterest in money. And when the girl or her family start actually paying for things and giving gifts, the guy sees this as a sure sign that their motives are pure. This might be the case, or it could be that they see you more as a long term investment that will mature and pay dividends in the long run. For the parents you could be the pension payment plan they had always dreamed of.

[burman]

hmmm, my Gf is thai chinese, well educated ect....She has no problems with Kissing, Thai or Farrang style.....Even kissed on the first date. Seems like this girl has a few issues, not kissing, making strange noises and facial guestures. Are you sure she is a true female?

She's probably been with quite a few farang so is more used to it by now.

[BFD]

hmmm, my Gf is thai chinese, well educated ect....She has no problems with Kissing, Thai or Farrang style.....Even kissed on the first date. Seems like this girl has a few issues,

I have to say i would be more worried about a girl who kisses on the first date, than one who holds out, good education or not. Unless of course we are talking about short time.

I'm sorry, but I really don't think a kiss on the first date is cause to 'worry' about a girl's character. Sure, it is culturally unacceptable in some circles, but many of these rules were made to be broken, in my opinion. These archaic rules might have had some applicability in the past, but that time is long gone (again in my opinion). Your use of the phrase 'short time' shows me you are not completely out of touch with some of the sexual activities going on around you, but come on, it's a kiss!

I don't mean to be rude, but I really think this kind of prudish thinking has no place in a cosmopolitan society.

BFD!

[rixalex]

hmmm, my Gf is thai chinese, well educated ect....She has no problems with Kissing, Thai or Farrang style.....Even kissed on the first date. Seems like this girl has a few issues,

I have to say i would be more worried about a girl who kisses on the first date, than one who holds out, good education or not. Unless of course we are talking about short time.

I'm sorry, but I really don't think a kiss on the first date is cause to 'worry' about a girl's character. Sure, it is culturally unacceptable in some circles, but many of these rules were made to be broken, in my opinion. These archaic rules might have had some applicability in the past, but that time is long gone (again in my opinion). Your use of the phrase 'short time' shows me you are not completely out of touch with some of the sexual activities going on around you, but come on, it's a kiss!

I don't mean to be rude, but I really think this kind of prudish thinking has no place in a cosmopolitan society.

BFD!

Hey, if it were up to me, i'd kiss all the girls i date on the first night!

Seriously though, here in Thailand, and i'm not talking about certain circles as you suggest, but rather the entire country's culture, i can assure you that kissing on first dates just does not happen, with the exception of prostitutes and perhaps rebellious teenagers. That's just the way it is. Kissing on a first date here would be akin to full blown sex where i come from.

I think not having physical contact on a first date doesn't make one prudish, but rather make you a mature adult who wants to get to know the other and take things one step at a time - unless of course you are just out for short time gratification?

Why are you in such a rush BFD?

[sbk]

Not sure where BFD got the idea that Thailand is a cosmopolitan society

[rixalex]

Not sure where BFD got the idea that Thailand is a cosmopolitan society

I wondered that too. Small pockets of Bangkok and some touristy areas might be, but broadly speaking Thailand is anything but cosmopolitan.

[pop_corn]

Not sure where BFD got the idea that Thailand is a cosmopolitan society

I wondered that too. Small pockets of Bangkok and some touristy areas might be, but broadly speaking Thailand is anything but cosmopolitan.

Like "anything but cosmopolitan...." uhmmmmmmm I disagree... 100%

You cant obvious here the big percentage of foreign communities…. Or you have ever seen here any foreigner? Any Thai woman mixed up with a falang guy? A Thai guy with a falang girl? Hey! In my country anywhere you look there are only locals… THEN I can say that my country is nothing but cosmopolitan. Thailand nevertheless it IS.

Cosmopolitan Synonyms: international, multinational, multi-ethnic, mixed…so on and so forth….So… Thailand is not cosmopolitan? O_o

[rixalex]

Not sure where BFD got the idea that Thailand is a cosmopolitan society

I wondered that too. Small pockets of Bangkok and some touristy areas might be, but broadly speaking Thailand is anything but cosmopolitan.

Like "anything but cosmopolitan...." uhmmmmmmm I disagree... 100%

You cant obvious here the big percentage of foreign communities…. Or you have ever seen here any foreigner? Any Thai woman mixed up with a falang guy? A Thai guy with a falang girl? Hey! In my country anywhere you look there are only locals… THEN I can say that my country is nothing but cosmopolitan. Thailand nevertheless it IS.

Cosmopolitan Synonyms: international, multinational, multi-ethnic, mixed…so on and so forth….So… Thailand is not cosmopolitan? O_o

Hi Pop Corn,

A few questions. Have you ever been to Thailand? If so, where did you spend your time and for how long? Because your comments sound like they have been made from a person who's spent a few weeks on holiday at some resort. When you actually get away from these areas you will find that the over-whelming majority of people are native people. That's of course not to say that there aren't foreign people, but the percentage is tiny and does not constitute a cosmpolitan society, no matter which synonym you care to use.

[Canada]

Maybe a dumb question, but........what is "trolling"?

Thanks.....

BTW....I read this entire thread just to see if you finally got your kiss or not...glad it worked out for you.

I think that there are no hard rules about relationships in Thailand. Be aware, eyes open....just like everywhere else on the planet. Kisiing ...not kissing...holding handds or not, age differences....whatever...go with your heart...watch your wallet. Those are my rules. Same as at home...

[intumult]

Maybe a dumb question, but........what is "trolling"?

Thanks.....

BTW....I read this entire thread just to see if you finally got your kiss or not...glad it worked out for you.

I think that there are no hard rules about relationships in Thailand. Be aware, eyes open....just like everywhere else on the planet. Kisiing ...not kissing...holding handds or not, age differences....whatever...go with your heart...watch your wallet. Those are my rules. Same as at home...

It is a weird feeling, moving on from those first rejected kisses, to the present day. The first kiss was certainly worth waiting for, and the other kisses too. Her confidence grows with each kiss and after taking things slowly and the odd turning away of her face as a natural reaction (she still does it on the odd occasion - but no problem) she has turned into a wonderful kisser.

As for my wallet, that is still pretty much intact and in fact I get as much out of her and her family as they get from me. I am the one who ends up at the family home for dinner - and lunch too - more often than not.

Take Thai Mothers Day (Sonkran), they bought me a shirt especially for the occasion and took great pains to make sure I was happy. Even down to the food prepared for me.

Considering how little I now know this family has, it is humbling to be treated ths kindly. Take the fact that the family have all had a virus for the last 10 days or so, so the food stall has been closed, therefore no income coming in, they have still gone out of their way to have food prepared for me and I have noticed the parents wait until the g/f and I have finished eating before they move in to eat, giving her and myself first priority.

Even now I am not being asked for anything and when I do offer money, it is refused. The g/f says she is not after money and I am slowly beginning to believe that with her consistency on the money subject. My solution has been to go to the market and buy food and fruit and hand that over, as well as buying clothes and things for the 2 babies.

As for the age gap? Yes, that bothered me a lot initially. Maybe my Western upbringing. Yet I see Thai people with similar age gaps and some Thai friends say that age does not matter at all in most cases.

I believe I said elsewhere that T considers any man under 35 to be a boy. When asked to pick out her choice of men she went for older ones and most were well 0ver 45.

With a rented house here and a car on finance there is little to be 'taken for' and the relationship grows stronger. (Certain TV members will be aware of other topics on this - from PM's).

All I can really add is that if all goes well, we are planning the marriage 'party' in 5 months

The worst I can be taken for is my heart, the 2nd worse thing would then be the sin-sot

[midasthailand]

Put it this way, if you were a 25 year old lad would you be falling over yourself to get jiggy with a 53 year old woman?

No problem this end!!

[midasthailand]

Maybe a dumb question, but........what is "trolling"?

Thanks.....

BTW....I read this entire thread just to see if you finally got your kiss or not...glad it worked out for you.

I think that there are no hard rules about relationships in Thailand. Be aware, eyes open....just like everywhere else on the planet. Kisiing ...not kissing...holding handds or not, age differences....whatever...go with your heart...watch your wallet. Those are my rules. Same as at home...

It is a weird feeling, moving on from those first rejected kisses, to the present day. The first kiss was certainly worth waiting for, and the other kisses too. Her confidence grows with each kiss and after taking things slowly and the odd turning away of her face as a natural reaction (she still does it on the odd occasion - but no problem) she has turned into a wonderful kisser.

As for my wallet, that is still pretty much intact and in fact I get as much out of her and her family as they get from me. I am the one who ends up at the family home for dinner - and lunch too - more often than not.

Take Thai Mothers Day (Sonkran), they bought me a shirt especially for the occasion and took great pains to make sure I was happy. Even down to the food prepared for me.

Considering how little I now know this family has, it is humbling to be treated ths kindly. Take the fact that the family have all had a virus for the last 10 days or so, so the food stall has been closed, therefore no income coming in, they have still gone out of their way to have food prepared for me and I have noticed the parents wait until the g/f and I have finished eating before they move in to eat, giving her and myself first priority.

Even now I am not being asked for anything and when I do offer money, it is refused. The g/f says she is not after money and I am slowly beginning to believe that with her consistency on the money subject. My solution has been to go to the market and buy food and fruit and hand that over, as well as buying clothes and things for the 2 babies.

As for the age gap? Yes, that bothered me a lot initially. Maybe my Western upbringing. Yet I see Thai people with similar age gaps and some Thai friends say that age does not matter at all in most cases.

I believe I said elsewhere that T considers any man under 35 to be a boy. When asked to pick out her choice of men she went for older ones and most were well 0ver 45.

With a rented house here and a car on finance there is little to be 'taken for' and the relationship grows stronger. (Certain TV members will be aware of other topics on this - from PM's).

All I can really add is that if all goes well, we are planning the marriage 'party' in 5 months

The worst I can be taken for is my heart, the 2nd worse thing would then be the sin-sot

All the very best to you and your bride to be Intumult, I do not for one second doubt the sincerity of your OP and have myself experienced the generosity of a Thai girl who wants nothing but a loving relationship. I wish you the best of luck!!

[intumult]

^^^ Thanks

[waza]

hmmm, my Gf is thai chinese, well educated ect....She has no problems with Kissing, Thai or Farrang style.....Even kissed on the first date. Seems like this girl has a few issues, not kissing, making strange noises and facial guestures. Are you sure she is a true female?

She's probably been with quite a few farang so is more used to it by now.

Nope sorry to burst your bubble but I was the first farrang, but she did have an arranged marriage to a Thai. which ended in divorce.

[burman]

My bubbles not burst, and if you are happy with what she has told you then your bubble will not burst either.

[pop_corn]

Not sure where BFD got the idea that Thailand is a cosmopolitan society

I wondered that too. Small pockets of Bangkok and some touristy areas might be, but broadly speaking Thailand is anything but cosmopolitan.

Like "anything but cosmopolitan...." uhmmmmmmm I disagree... 100%

You cant obvious here the big percentage of foreign communities…. Or you have ever seen here any foreigner? Any Thai woman mixed up with a falang guy? A Thai guy with a falang girl? Hey! In my country anywhere you look there are only locals… THEN I can say that my country is nothing but cosmopolitan. Thailand nevertheless it IS.

Cosmopolitan Synonyms: international, multinational, multi-ethnic, mixed…so on and so forth….So… Thailand is not cosmopolitan? O_o

Hi Pop Corn,

A few questions. Have you ever been to Thailand? If so, where did you spend your time and for how long? Because your comments sound like they have been made from a person who's spent a few weeks on holiday at some resort. When you actually get away from these areas you will find that the over-whelming majority of people are native people. That's of course not to say that there aren't foreign people, but the percentage is tiny and does not constitute a cosmpolitan society, no matter which synonym you care to use.

I have been here for 5 years, and been around this country since Im 16 years old. I thinki is time enough to have my own opinion about it.