Sin Sot For The Local Guys

[Fun2Fun]

lol a2396 ... bitter much?

Not bitter, just realistic. Some of ideas discussed here, regarding this topic, do not equate to fairness or logic, such as paying sin sod to previously married women with children. This is bordering on the ridicoulous. I wonder what marriage brokers they are working for?

Well lets face it, many of the thai girls who does get married to a falang does not do it for love only (if love at all) but for the chance at a better life for themselves and for their families.

And usually its not as the man does not get his piece of the cake , ending up with a wife quite a bit younger and usually much more good looking than what he would have been able to snatch back home.

Strange but many Thai girls think nothing of sleeping with Thai men for free, without benefit of marriage and/or sin sod & having babies out of wedlock. Then, along comes the Farang who is asked to pick up the tab for the family debts & whatever other financial burdens that he should clear for them.

Actually many thai girls live with their falang boyfriends without getting married too, and yes even have babies out of wedlock.

But when the time comes to get married, falang or thai, the question of sinsot will come up for most couples.

If I'm a cheapskate for not going for this, so be it. In the real world, where I am from, it usually takes both man & woman pooling financial resources to make a successful life. In LOS it is a one-way street. Farang pays everything, start to finish.

Part of the attraction for many men is the fact that the wife does not have a job and spends her time taking care of him, their family and home instead.

So as most of the girls usually come from lower income families and are expected to be homemakers, how could they then be able to contribute in pooling the financial resources.

Edited March 20, 2008 by Fun2Fun

[jonniebkk]

I think the more basic question in 90% of farang/Thai marriages is why would any man (in Thailand or back home) want to basically adopt a BUNCH of poor relations? No matter how nice the girl may be, the fact that her family is most likely much poorer than her spouse will make the financial requests/demands of her family endless! Who needs that...I got better things to do with my money

[grapetable]

I always understood that on most occcassions the SS was returned to bride and groom.........hardly a manipulation for a market.......

[Deesurin]

being a "dumb" farang when I came to marry my "Traditional" Thai lady,I had no idea about sin sod. To this day I carry the piece of paper in my walet with the question writen in Thai "How much do I put in wedding bowl" to ask around town.

I ended up putting 100000bt for my 40 year old virgin wife and a lot of gold. The sin so was not returned and I was glad, Mae needed it. I struggled with it's intent, until reading past posts here on the subject. hel_l this is thai culture and I chose to enter it, for the love of a really good woman and a life style that is far better than what I left ( my opion). I wouldn't change a thing, except knowing more before I came

Now I'm helping my sister-in-law with a farang boy friend anad she is 46 w/2 kids and devorsed. The question came up about sin sod for her and it is interesting to see the forum says not needed, but my family ( wife) thinks yes. I think if we farangs can aford it and understand the purpose, why not...this is Thailand and it's culture..not our home country. The running joke with my wife is" I should have married an Indian ( India) girl and then I would have gotten the gold"

My 2 cents

Dee

[Neeranam]

she is 46 w/2 kids and devorsed

She should pay the guy! It's criminal her trying to hook up with a gullible farang just for the money.

[KireB]

Outrageous financial demands?

Sin Sot is a means to prevent their daughters from marrying cheapskates......like YOU.

Guess you paid up, still feel taken for a ride and have the need to call people cheapskates in order to justify your sense of insecurity.

The discussion about Sin Sod is probably the toughest we face while being here. Some have no problem with it, others detest it.

Are we all either cheapskates or suckers?

[too true]

Don't worry, the farang ladies will address the balance. In the eyes of many Thai guys, "farang girls are free and easy". No sin sot required. Someone for everyone.

Says a lot that this "cultural tradition" is somehow overlooked when a Thai guy marries a western girl. I've never met a single western lady that received a sin sot. Speaks volumes.

In my husband's village, sin sot usually involves a small amount of money, a "show" of gold, and some livestock. I can't imagine the looks on my parents' faces if my husband had tried to present them with 3 cows.

I'd like to know what speaks volumes, though. Western parents would generally be appalled at a man offering to buy their daughter, I'd think.

And although we no longer have dowry back home in the true sense of the word, isn't an engagement ring kind of the same thing??? A man is supposed to spend 3 months salary (isn't that how it goes?) on an engagement ring - that's far more than some of you are spending on sin sot. And then if the whole deal falls apart, she still keeps the ring and can sell that nice diamond back to the jewellery store and keep the cash.

Just a thought...

[jstumbo]

And although we no longer have dowry back home in the true sense of the word, isn't an engagement ring kind of the same thing??? A man is supposed to spend 3 months salary (isn't that how it goes?) on an engagement ring - that's far more than some of you are spending on sin sot. And then if the whole deal falls apart, she still keeps the ring and can sell that nice diamond back to the jewellery store and keep the cash.

This is one of the falang traditions that Thais are willing to accept. So sin sot, and gold from the Thai side, and an engagement ring from the falang side.

I think the 3 months salary idea is put forward by jewelry companies.

[PadThaiGuy]

Outrageous financial demands?

Sin Sot is a means to prevent their daughters from marrying cheapskates......like YOU.

Guess you paid up, still feel taken for a ride and have the need to call people cheapskates in order to justify your sense of insecurity.

The discussion about Sin Sod is probably the toughest we face while being here. Some have no problem with it, others detest it.

Are we all either cheapskates or suckers?

"Discussion about Sin Sot is probably the toughest we face while being here".

Are you kidding?

A months salary is an "outrageous" sum of money?

I would definitly not let my daughter anywhere near you.

You marry into a different culture. The new wife needs the Sin Sot to save face in the village?

Piss away a months salary. No big deal.

[KireB]

"Discussion about Sin Sot is probably the toughest we face while being here".

Are you kidding?

A months salary is an "outrageous" sum of money?

I would definitly not let my daughter anywhere near you.

You marry into a different culture. The new wife needs the Sin Sot to save face in the village?

Piss away a months salary. No big deal.

Money, money, money, is that all you think about?

It's principle Pad Thai! And I hope your daughters will develop critical thinking skills and be intelligent enough to decide themselves who'll they see a future with.

[Furbie]

I am a supporter of Sin Sot and feel that someone marrying a Thai woman should follow this custom if the woman feels it is important. If my relationship with my GF should progress to this level, I will pay Sin Sot as I know she is very traditional and it is important to her.

If you are so "into" Thai customs and if "tradition" is so important to your GF, you should both already know (she certainly does but apparently hasn't chosen to enlighten you) that sin sot is a one-time bite at the apple. It is TRADITIONALLY paid for a virgin bride and paid one time only. There are no additional payments for divorced/separated non-virginal Thai ladies...that is Thai custom and tradition surrounding this practice. Maybe you should bring this fact up with your tirac

If you would like to make an additional payment to her or her family, that is your business, but please don't equate it with Thai traditions or customs...but to your own eagerness to get in this ladies knickers

Did you read only ¼ of my post or simply confuse it with someone else's?

First, your comment about sin sod is only for virgins is not only comical, it is ridiculous. This is simply not true in today's world.

Second, I know a Thai couple where the woman was divorced and has a child (which is the story I related in my post) and the husband paid a sin sot of around 1 million baht. Both are well educated with good jobs and from good families - I should know, she is a former colleague. Her husband told me he did this for him and his family. You should also note that in the case of the OP, I called the request excessive.

Third, I never said my GF was a divorcee with a child. My GF is a single, well educated, intelligent woman with a good job and a good family. Amazingly, this is my background and the exact background I would look for in a woman from home country. If/when it is time to speak with her family about sin sod, I will simply send in a senior female Thai colleague to do this for me, I have no worries about her family or my colleague. My GF is a traditional girl – sorry to burst your bubble about Thai-farrang relationships.

Finally, before you jump on someone, make sure you know what you're talking about.

Edited March 21, 2008 by Furbie

[PadThaiGuy]

"Discussion about Sin Sot is probably the toughest we face while being here".

Are you kidding?

A months salary is an "outrageous" sum of money?

I would definitly not let my daughter anywhere near you.

You marry into a different culture. The new wife needs the Sin Sot to save face in the village?

Piss away a months salary. No big deal.

Money, money, money, is that all you think about?

It's principle Pad Thai! And I hope your daughters will develop critical thinking skills and be intelligent enough to decide themselves who'll they see a future with.

A months salary is nothing to me.

If some girl I'm marrying wants it, no problem. Especially if it concerns long held traditions in her home country.

I've been to plenty of weddings and handing over the cash is a big deal.

Just for the record, I paid 100,000thb. (25thb to the dollar back then)

The mother inlaw gave me 30k worth of gold, gave my wife a bunch of gold and I think she gave the balance back to my wife....not sure.... could not care less.

Thais are expert scammers and some would say they are natural predators.

In the case of SinSot, it's just a tradition/custom, not a scam.

Edited March 21, 2008 by PadThaiGuy

[a2396]

I am a supporter of Sin Sot and feel that someone marrying a Thai woman should follow this custom if the woman feels it is important. If my relationship with my GF should progress to this level, I will pay Sin Sot as I know she is very traditional and it is important to her.

If you are so "into" Thai customs and if "tradition" is so important to your GF, you should both already know (she certainly does but apparently hasn't chosen to enlighten you) that sin sot is a one-time bite at the apple. It is TRADITIONALLY paid for a virgin bride and paid one time only. There are no additional payments for divorced/separated non-virginal Thai ladies...that is Thai custom and tradition surrounding this practice. Maybe you should bring this fact up with your tirac

If you would like to make an additional payment to her or her family, that is your business, but please don't equate it with Thai traditions or customs...but to your own eagerness to get in this ladies knickers

Did you read only ¼ of my post or simply confuse it with someone else's?

First, your comment about sin sod is only for virgins is not only comical, it is ridiculous. This is simply not true in today's world.

Second, I know a Thai couple where the woman was divorced and has a child (which is the story I related in my post) and the husband paid a sin sot of around 1 million baht. Both are well educated with good jobs and from good families - I should know, she is a former colleague. Her husband told me he did this for him and his family. You should also note that in the case of the OP, I called the request excessive.

Third, I never said my GF was a divorcee with a child. My GF is a single, well educated, intelligent woman with a good job and a good family. Amazingly, this is my background and the exact background I would look for in a woman from home country. If/when it is time to speak with her family about sin sod, I will simply send in a senior female Thai colleague to do this for me, I have no worries about her family or my colleague. My GF is a traditional girl – sorry to burst your bubble about Thai-farrang relationships.

Finally, before you jump on someone, make sure you know what you're talking about.

Looks like there are no rules in this game, according to some Thai culture "experts" on this panel. Every woman's eligible (as long as she never recieved any before) and who's to verify that she never did. We should therefore disregard the sin sod explanation posted at the top of the general discussion page. Aparently it is irrelevant. All these generous gents are welcome to pay up, if they have the money & are so inclined. I don't like it presented to me as some sort of "iron clad" requirement to pay or else.

[Furbie]

I am a supporter of Sin Sot and feel that someone marrying a Thai woman should follow this custom if the woman feels it is important. If my relationship with my GF should progress to this level, I will pay Sin Sot as I know she is very traditional and it is important to her.

If you are so "into" Thai customs and if "tradition" is so important to your GF, you should both already know (she certainly does but apparently hasn't chosen to enlighten you) that sin sot is a one-time bite at the apple. It is TRADITIONALLY paid for a virgin bride and paid one time only. There are no additional payments for divorced/separated non-virginal Thai ladies...that is Thai custom and tradition surrounding this practice. Maybe you should bring this fact up with your tirac

If you would like to make an additional payment to her or her family, that is your business, but please don't equate it with Thai traditions or customs...but to your own eagerness to get in this ladies knickers

Did you read only ¼ of my post or simply confuse it with someone else's?

First, your comment about sin sod is only for virgins is not only comical, it is ridiculous. This is simply not true in today's world.

Second, I know a Thai couple where the woman was divorced and has a child (which is the story I related in my post) and the husband paid a sin sot of around 1 million baht. Both are well educated with good jobs and from good families - I should know, she is a former colleague. Her husband told me he did this for him and his family. You should also note that in the case of the OP, I called the request excessive.

Third, I never said my GF was a divorcee with a child. My GF is a single, well educated, intelligent woman with a good job and a good family. Amazingly, this is my background and the exact background I would look for in a woman from home country. If/when it is time to speak with her family about sin sod, I will simply send in a senior female Thai colleague to do this for me, I have no worries about her family or my colleague. My GF is a traditional girl – sorry to burst your bubble about Thai-farrang relationships.

Finally, before you jump on someone, make sure you know what you're talking about.

Looks like there are no rules in this game, according to some Thai culture "experts" on this panel. Every woman's eligible (as long as she never recieved any before) and who's to verify that she never did. We should therefore disregard the sin sod explanation posted at the top of the general discussion page. Aparently it is irrelevant. All these generous gents are welcome to pay up, if they have the money & are so inclined. I don't like it presented to me as some sort of "iron clad" requirement to pay or else.

The rules are actually very simple, the problem is the players - or rather the class of Thai many Westerners marry. Like it or not, sin sod is a tradition in this country and practiced by the overwhelming majority of Thais. Miraculously, millions of Thais marry every year, pay sin sod and would never consider it a scam. If you want to marry into this culture, at the very least, you need to consider the feelings of the future spouse and her family. I am not saying you should pay, I am saying you need to consider it. As such, I have given to the OP an example similar to his situation. That being said, unreasonable sin sod demands should tell you all you need to know about her and her family and I have pointed out that the request she made is excessive and I wonder about her motives.

[Heng]

If you get your money back, it's just a tradition.

If you don't, then it's time to cry and rant like a baby.

Sorted.

[JetsetBkk]

If you get your money back, it's just a tradition.

If you don't, then it's time to cry and rant like a baby.

Sorted.

But, but.. how can you tell which it'll be?

[ray08]

I understand it is a Thai Tradition, so the man pays for the Sin Sot , what about the cost of the wedding, food , party , and all associated expenses , does the women family throw some money in ,?? or does the man pay for everything , and is Sin Sot also very popular for the rich thais or is it more a local Village thing , just curious as have heard a lot about it ,but mainly about poor village girls

compared to say rich thais who marry at the Oriental Hotel, same rules?

[Fun2Fun]

I understand it is a Thai Tradition, so the man pays for the Sin Sot , what about the cost of the wedding, food , party , and all associated expenses , does the women family throw some money in ,?? or does the man pay for everything , and is Sin Sot also very popular for the rich thais or is it more a local Village thing , just curious as have heard a lot about it ,but mainly about poor village girls

compared to say rich thais who marry at the Oriental Hotel, same rules?

Yes, rich thais does it and often with ridicilously high amounts being presented too.