Sin Sot For The Local Guys

[paul1970]

The Sin Sot as I understand it from my current gf is a repayment to the parents for the cost of bringing her up as a child and is usually paid for by the husband to be or his family.

My gf was married to a Thai man on her 18th birthday, he was 21 and he was to pay 60,000B and 5 baht of Gold which at that time would have cost probably another 40,000B so in total 100,000 THB. So I asked her where he found that kind of money where it transpired he didn't find it all as they both worked they saved together until they had the 100000 B split roughly 50/50 and gave it to her parents so the marriage could go ahead.

My gf is an attractive both to falang and thai with a fairly large breasts for thai and was in demand in her village as she had never worked in a bar, anyway the marriage lasted 2 months when he was found in bed with a mia noi and she sent him packing.

Now she has just had her 19th and is expecting our first baby but we are not married but we have discussed it and she would expect that a Sin Sod of 200,000 be paid plus some gold which may sound a lot but then putting it into perspective she knows that my income after all deductions is between 200,000 and 300,000 thb per month so taking that into account is not bad considering some of the amounts I have heard off oh and a 5000 baht per month stipend to her mama and papa for food etc which seems to be the norm for all girls that they have to send money back monthly for the parents.

So the money is not an issue but it still isn't comfortable as a farang to be talking about how much should I be paying for you, just doesn't feel right. Anyway no marriage until a prenup is drawn up then we will see if things change.

[lannarebirth]

I'm not sure I understand. If the sinsot is to payed for the girl's rearing, and the first guy a;ready paid it, why would you be paying anything at all? Additionally, this is the first case I've heard about where a divorcee's got a higher sinsot the second time around. Pretty young, eh? Better check her ID.

[joeuk1]

I know of two young Thai guys that have just married Thai woman , both paid 30k sinsot and in both cases money in full was given back to the married couple 1 baht of gold was shown ( borrowed in one case lol ) and that was then given back to the rightfull owner after the marriage took place .

JB

[way2muchcoffee]

You are going to pay 300,000 for a divorced woman? Let me get this right, you are going to pay 3 times what the first husband was going to pay? Does this sound right to you? Then 5,000 per month to the parents? Does she not have any brothers or sisters? How much do the siblings send home every month? Do the parents live in a village? Here comes the gravy train... all aboard!

[LoveDaBlues]

The Sin Sot as I understand it from my current gf is a repayment to the parents for the cost of bringing her up as a child and is usually paid for by the husband to be or his family.

My gf was married to a Thai man on her 18th birthday, he was 21 and he was to pay 60,000B and 5 baht of Gold which at that time would have cost probably another 40,000B so in total 100,000 THB. So I asked her where he found that kind of money where it transpired he didn't find it all as they both worked they saved together until they had the 100000 B split roughly 50/50 and gave it to her parents so the marriage could go ahead.

My gf is an attractive both to falang and thai with a fairly large breasts for thai and was in demand in her village as she had never worked in a bar, anyway the marriage lasted 2 months when he was found in bed with a mia noi and she sent him packing.

Now she has just had her 19th and is expecting our first baby but we are not married but we have discussed it and she would expect that a Sin Sod of 200,000 be paid plus some gold which may sound a lot but then putting it into perspective she knows that my income after all deductions is between 200,000 and 300,000 thb per month so taking that into account is not bad considering some of the amounts I have heard off oh and a 5000 baht per month stipend to her mama and papa for food etc which seems to be the norm for all girls that they have to send money back monthly for the parents.

So the money is not an issue but it still isn't comfortable as a farang to be talking about how much should I be paying for you, just doesn't feel right. Anyway no marriage until a prenup is drawn up then we will see if things change.

divorced, pregnant, 200K Sinsod + gold + stipend for parents.........

Edited March 19, 2008 by LoveDaBlues

[surface]

The Sin Sot as I understand it from my current gf is a repayment to the parents for the cost of bringing her up as a child and is usually paid for by the husband to be or his family.

My gf was married to a Thai man on her 18th birthday, he was 21 and he was to pay 60,000B and 5 baht of Gold which at that time would have cost probably another 40,000B so in total 100,000 THB. So I asked her where he found that kind of money where it transpired he didn't find it all as they both worked they saved together until they had the 100000 B split roughly 50/50 and gave it to her parents so the marriage could go ahead.

My gf is an attractive both to falang and thai with a fairly large breasts for thai and was in demand in her village as she had never worked in a bar, anyway the marriage lasted 2 months when he was found in bed with a mia noi and she sent him packing.

Now she has just had her 19th and is expecting our first baby but we are not married but we have discussed it and she would expect that a Sin Sod of 200,000 be paid plus some gold which may sound a lot but then putting it into perspective she knows that my income after all deductions is between 200,000 and 300,000 thb per month so taking that into account is not bad considering some of the amounts I have heard off oh and a 5000 baht per month stipend to her mama and papa for food etc which seems to be the norm for all girls that they have to send money back monthly for the parents.

So the money is not an issue but it still isn't comfortable as a farang to be talking about how much should I be paying for you, just doesn't feel right. Anyway no marriage until a prenup is drawn up then we will see if things change.

Mama-san: Welcome to Walking St., how may I help you?

You: Yes, I'll have the #2, with a side of golden nuggets and some of that juicy 5k/month gravy on top.

Mama-san: Coming right up!

[0Mix1up]

he didn't find it all as they both worked they saved together until they had the 100000 B split roughly 50/50 and gave it to her parents so the marriage could go ahead.

My gf is an attractive both to falang and thai with a fairly large breasts for thai and was in demand in her village as she had never worked in a bar, anyway the marriage lasted 2 months when he was found in bed with a mia noi and she sent him packing

he couldn't afford her?, huge rack?, she was the belle of the ball to everyone?, he did another?

[PadThaiGuy]

Was talking to the curtain installer this morning, who had come to my house to install some new curtains I ordered for my house. As the conversation turned around to the ladies, found out he was 25 and still single. When I asked why, he said pretty ladies from his area were pang maak maak!!

He said he was from Sakorn Nakorn (which is not too far from Kalisin central Issan area) and when I asked how much the going rate for a pretty local girl was he said B 100,000. That's allot of money for a local boy...when I asked about trading down to a less pretty or older girl, he said it was better to remain single

I wonder how much impact the prices that farangs are ready to pay in sin sot has effected how much the local girls and their families ask from the local Thai boys?

Expatriates and tourists always complain about the attitude of lots of Thai male toughs...I wonder how many of them have been outbid by a farang for their village sweetheart's heart

Your Curtain Installer is crying poor...hoping for a generous handout..... and you beleive him?

[Furbie]

The Sin Sot as I understand it from my current gf is a repayment to the parents for the cost of bringing her up as a child and is usually paid for by the husband to be or his family.

My gf was married to a Thai man on her 18th birthday, he was 21 and he was to pay 60,000B and 5 baht of Gold which at that time would have cost probably another 40,000B so in total 100,000 THB. So I asked her where he found that kind of money where it transpired he didn't find it all as they both worked they saved together until they had the 100000 B split roughly 50/50 and gave it to her parents so the marriage could go ahead.

My gf is an attractive both to falang and thai with a fairly large breasts for thai and was in demand in her village as she had never worked in a bar, anyway the marriage lasted 2 months when he was found in bed with a mia noi and she sent him packing.

Now she has just had her 19th and is expecting our first baby but we are not married but we have discussed it and she would expect that a Sin Sod of 200,000 be paid plus some gold which may sound a lot but then putting it into perspective she knows that my income after all deductions is between 200,000 and 300,000 thb per month so taking that into account is not bad considering some of the amounts I have heard off oh and a 5000 baht per month stipend to her mama and papa for food etc which seems to be the norm for all girls that they have to send money back monthly for the parents.

So the money is not an issue but it still isn't comfortable as a farang to be talking about how much should I be paying for you, just doesn't feel right. Anyway no marriage until a prenup is drawn up then we will see if things change.

Paul1970,

If you look at my previous posts, you will see I am a supporter of Sin Sot and feel that someone marrying a Thai woman should follow this custom if the woman feels it is important. If my relationship with my GF should progress to this level, I will pay Sin Sot as I know she is very traditional and it is important to her.

That being said, many of the Sin Sot stories I have heard involving foreigners have an unreasonable level of Sin Sot being requested - a reason many here have a very bad reaction to it. While I personally know a case where a Thai man has paid Sin Sot for a divorcee with a child, the amount being requested of you is excessive. It is more in line with a single, university educated girl with a decent office job or similar - not what you have described. If you are happy to pay it to make her happy, more power to you. But the fact is, the amount is excessive and many people here (myself included) will wonder what her motivations are for such a request.

[a2396]

It's nothing but ransom & bribery. It should have ended long ago and will not end as long as there are willing suckers to pay up. It should be up to the couple to determine the future of their relationship, without some outrageous financial demands from the family. Sin sod just reduces these women to some sort of saleable commodity. In another context women selling themselves, would be viewed as undesirable.

[jdinasia]

It's nothing but ransom & bribery. It should have ended long ago and will not end as long as there are willing suckers to pay up. It should be up to the couple to determine the future of their relationship, without some outrageous financial demands from the family. Sin sod just reduces these women to some sort of saleable commodity. In another context women selling themselves, would be viewed as undesirable.

Always nice to see some clueless guy that has no concept of a culture other than his own

[jonniebkk]

Your Curtain Installer is crying poor...hoping for a generous handout..... and you beleive him?

PadThai...you are only slightly more cynical than me...I guess you have lived here a little longer than me

But I brought up the subject...to have have something to talk about and out of curiosity. Anyway, the guy did a great job (it's been 3 weeks now and the curtains haven't fallen down yet) and it took him over 3 hours of work so I contributed a tip of B 200 to his future bride savings account (since spent on a few bottles of lao kaow and some fags)

Edited March 20, 2008 by jonniebkk

[jonniebkk]

I am a supporter of Sin Sot and feel that someone marrying a Thai woman should follow this custom if the woman feels it is important. If my relationship with my GF should progress to this level, I will pay Sin Sot as I know she is very traditional and it is important to her.

If you are so "into" Thai customs and if "tradition" is so important to your GF, you should both already know (she certainly does but apparently hasn't chosen to enlighten you) that sin sot is a one-time bite at the apple. It is TRADITIONALLY paid for a virgin bride and paid one time only. There are no additional payments for divorced/separated non-virginal Thai ladies...that is Thai custom and tradition surrounding this practice. Maybe you should bring this fact up with your tirac

If you would like to make an additional payment to her or her family, that is your business, but please don't equate it with Thai traditions or customs...but to your own eagerness to get in this ladies knickers

[a2396]

It's nothing but ransom & bribery. It should have ended long ago and will not end as long as there are willing suckers to pay up. It should be up to the couple to determine the future of their relationship, without some outrageous financial demands from the family. Sin sod just reduces these women to some sort of saleable commodity. In another context women selling themselves, would be viewed as undesirable.

Always nice to see some clueless guy that has no concept of a culture other than his own

This is culture?? Progressive societies evolve thier cultural tradidtions to be in step with modern times. You like to pay? Up to you.

[paul1970]

I'm not sure I understand. If the sinsot is to payed for the girl's rearing, and the first guy a;ready paid it, why would you be paying anything at all? Additionally, this is the first case I've heard about where a divorcee's got a higher sinsot the second time around. Pretty young, eh? Better check her ID.

I beleive your right that if a Thai marries a divorcee no sinsot is requested but when a falang is involved well TIT.

Don't worry I've been in LOS smiles long enough and all the ID checks and divorce checks have been carried out and all in order, even spoke on the phone with managers of the factories and resteraunts she has worked in.

[ThaiWanderer68]

Don't worry, the farang ladies will address the balance. In the eyes of many Thai guys, "farang girls are free and easy". No sin sot required. Someone for everyone.

Says a lot that this "cultural tradition" is somehow overlooked when a Thai guy marries a western girl. I've never met a single western lady that received a sin sot. Speaks volumes.

[Fun2Fun]

If she is divorced and have had the wedding party with sin-sod given once already, then a new party should not be necessary and an Ampur wedding, no sin-sod and a celebration dinner with only the closest familly should suffice.

If she has been "married" before but never had a wedding party, then a wedding party with sin-sod is a resonable request.

How much should be payed, how much should be keep and how much should be given back to you is on the other hand open for discussion.

Many of the girls i have talked to so far seems to want the amount given to match or be slightly higher than the amount and number of bath gold that their closest friends/family were presented with at their wedding. (Keeping up with the Joneses...LOL)

[a2396]

If she is divorced and have had the wedding party with sin-sod given once already, then a new party should not be necessary and an Ampur wedding, no sin-sod and a celebration dinner with only the closest familly should suffice.

If she has been "married" before but never had a wedding party, then a wedding party with sin-sod is a resonable request.

How much should be payed, how much should be keep and how much should be given back to you is on the other hand open for discussion.

Many of the girls i have talked to so far seems to want the amount given to match or be slightly higher than the amount and number of bath gold that their closest friends/family were presented with at their wedding. (Keeping up with the Joneses...LOL)

So, now it's OK to ask for sin sod, if she was married before, but never had a wedding party? I guess she could also have kids and not have been married to the Father & is still eligible for sin sod & are we talking legal marriage or so-called "traditional" marriage. If only legal marriage counts, then many are still eligible, since many Thai to Thai unions are not legally registered.

[paul1970]

quote]

Mama-san: Welcome to Walking St., how may I help you?

You: Yes, I'll have the #2, with a side of golden nuggets and some of that juicy 5k/month gravy on top.

Mama-san: Coming right up!

I can just see that your another one of those who automatically thinks that a Thai girl with a falang just had to be a whore, you sad sad person. Try spending sometime outside of the girlie bars and you will find that there are girls working real jobs who are just as happy to be with a falang.

I know my gf's complete history from when she left school at 15 with good grades but family didn't have money to send her to university so she worked in a factory, then MK and Bar-B-Q Plaza, all verified and I met her while she was working in MK.

As for the 5K gravy train my gf was quite willing to find a job in Pattaya to send money to her parent but 5k is a couple of hours work for me, hardly a hardship.

To put it into perspective when I went to her village I met an english guy up there who has fallen for a bg and is in the process of building a 1million baht home for the family and sends his gf 50k per month and her mother 20k per month and he only gets to see her about 3 months of the year.

[paul1970]

You are going to pay 300,000 for a divorced woman? Let me get this right, you are going to pay 3 times what the first husband was going to pay? Does this sound right to you? Then 5,000 per month to the parents? Does she not have any brothers or sisters? How much do the siblings send home every month? Do the parents live in a village? Here comes the gravy train... all aboard!

It never sounds right but this is the Thai / Falang pricing thing all round again, everything in Thailand is more expensive for a falang be it property or sinsot.

She is the eldest child of the family so there is nobody else to support her parents and 2 11 year old brothers and as you probably know once the children are of working age they are expected to send money home. I have been to the village and seen the living conditions which for a falang can only be described as horrendous.

[paul1970]

If she is divorced and have had the wedding party with sin-sod given once already, then a new party should not be necessary and an Ampur wedding, no sin-sod and a celebration dinner with only the closest familly should suffice.

If she has been "married" before but never had a wedding party, then a wedding party with sin-sod is a resonable request.

How much should be payed, how much should be keep and how much should be given back to you is on the other hand open for discussion.

Many of the girls i have talked to so far seems to want the amount given to match or be slightly higher than the amount and number of bath gold that their closest friends/family were presented with at their wedding. (Keeping up with the Joneses...LOL)

This is so true, it's all about face. The first time I went to the village I was paraded around every house like some kind of trophy, quite embarrasing.

But the more you get to know the culture the more you see that it's all about trying to be number one in other people's eye's. My gf would often tell me that so and so I met in her village got married and the sinsot she got was 80000b or whatever and she would laugh and say I was more and then vice versa gets angry if someone else married with a higher sinsot.

So the higher the sinsot the more face she and her family get in the village, like you said keeping up with the Joneses, but they seem to put more emphasis on it.

[Fun2Fun]

So, now it's OK to ask for sin sod, if she was married before, but never had a wedding party? I guess she could also have kids and not have been married to the Father & is still eligible for sin sod & are we talking legal marriage or so-called "traditional" marriage. If only legal marriage counts, then many are still eligible, since many Thai to Thai unions are not legally registered.

Yes

[clausewitz]

I had the idea that a sinsot was only in the case of virgins?

[Fun2Fun]

I had the idea that a sinsot was only in the case of virgins?

Since virginity is pretty scarce these days, and teenage pregnancies is on the rampage...its no longer a deal breaker....

If she is virgin or not is more related to the amount of sinsot asked/given.

Along with other factors like, if she have a child or not, if she has an education or not, how old she is, her families standing etc.

Edited March 20, 2008 by Fun2Fun

[Maigo6]

I had the idea that a sinsot was only in the case of virgins?

Then you had the wrong Idea.

[PadThaiGuy]

It's nothing but ransom & bribery. It should have ended long ago and will not end as long as there are willing suckers to pay up. It should be up to the couple to determine the future of their relationship, without some outrageous financial demands from the family. Sin sod just reduces these women to some sort of saleable commodity. In another context women selling themselves, would be viewed as undesirable.

Outrageous financial demands?

Sin Sot is a means to prevent their daughters from marrying cheapskates......like YOU.

[way2muchcoffee]

You are going to pay 300,000 for a divorced woman? Let me get this right, you are going to pay 3 times what the first husband was going to pay? Does this sound right to you? Then 5,000 per month to the parents? Does she not have any brothers or sisters? How much do the siblings send home every month? Do the parents live in a village? Here comes the gravy train... all aboard!

It never sounds right but this is the Thai / Falang pricing thing all round again, everything in Thailand is more expensive for a falang be it property or sinsot.

She is the eldest child of the family so there is nobody else to support her parents and 2 11 year old brothers and as you probably know once the children are of working age they are expected to send money home. I have been to the village and seen the living conditions which for a falang can only be described as horrendous.

Then the 5,000 per month is quite appropriate, especially considering your salary. Also you should be willing to help with somewhat larger amounts in the case of a medical emergency.

I think the sin sot should be dropped in this case. She has already been married, and divorced, and sin sot was paid by the first husband. That part is over, end of story. If you are going to do a full village ceremony make a present to her of the gold. Let her give some to the parents and keep some herself for security. If they want to have a stack of cash to show in the basket, ensure that it really is just for show. In this way all parties can keep face, and you aren't being abused.

Edited March 20, 2008 by way2muchcoffee

[a2396]

It's nothing but ransom & bribery. It should have ended long ago and will not end as long as there are willing suckers to pay up. It should be up to the couple to determine the future of their relationship, without some outrageous financial demands from the family. Sin sod just reduces these women to some sort of saleable commodity. In another context women selling themselves, would be viewed as undesirable.

Outrageous financial demands?

Sin Sot is a means to prevent their daughters from marrying cheapskates......like YOU.

Strange but many Thai girls think nothing of sleeping with Thai men for free, without benefit of marriage and/or sin sod & having babies out of wedlock. Then, along comes the Farang who is asked to pick up the tab for the family debts & whatever other financial burdens that he should clear for them. If I'm a cheapskate for not going for this, so be it. In the real world, where I am from, it usually takes both man & woman pooling financial resources to make a successful life. In LOS it is a one-way street. Farang pays everything, start to finish.

[jdinasia]

lol a2396 ... bitter much?

[a2396]

lol a2396 ... bitter much?

Not bitter, just realistic. Some of ideas discussed here, regarding this topic, do not equate to fairness or logic, such as paying sin sod to previously married women with children. This is bordering on the ridicoulous. I wonder what marriage brokers they are working for?