Sexual Alternatives

[dukkha]

Although not directly related to Thailand, sexuality certainly is in respect to gay men.

I found this site interesting and maybe to some others also...as gay men penetration has been the mantra, but of course it is only one aspect of men who have sex with men, men who love men...having sex with another man without the labels of top or bottom, prompted me to post this site, make what you will of it but it may either bore or enlighten.

www.man2manalliance.org....Dukkha

[TopChinese]

Thanks but frottage is just not a viable alternative to a good blow job.

[popshirt]

Thanks but frottage is just not a viable alternative to a good blow job.

And a good BJ is only a prelude to the major event!

[dukkha]

Wateva rocks ya boat I say...!

[PeaceBlondie]

I've known men to spend over $50 for an evening with another gay man, knowing they would receive nothing more than kisses and hugs. They were desperate for the human touch. It takes all kinds. I shall never cease being amazed at what turns people on, sexually.

[kek]

It takes all kinds. I shall never cease being amazed at what turns people on, sexually.

So when are you going to return the nipple clamps you borrowed from me?

[Ijustwannateach]

Took a look at that site but the main impression I got is that the guys there are overly hung up on gym-macho conceptions of masculinity (the idea being that many currently popular forms of gay sexual expression are emasculating to at least one partner). Intimacy is about pleasure, behaviour and feelings, not being the biggest He-man.

[dukkha]

Guess we all have our own ways of seeing, interpreting, life, sexuality...one mans salt, another mans poison... Dukkha

[peter991]

Thanks for the information, Dukkha. What's wrong with prostate massage - highly recommended by the medical profession.

My SO (Significant Other) is into hugs and cuddles and not much more. That's fine by me.

Peter

[dukkha]

Thanks Peter, just posted the site so people might get to see some different aspects of the sexual continuum...all expressions of our gay sexuality are as diverse as we are... Dukkha

[PeaceBlondie]

Thanks, Dukkha, for giving those ideas to think about and discuss. I notice that most comments so far just have said basically, "okay if you want to, but not for me." Considering the position of the frottage advocates, that would seem to say "only penetrating sex man-to-man is the standard for modern gay contact." I doubt that any of us define sex that narrowly.

Yet the website makes assertions that many of us do not believe. If you say the armpit is an erogenous zone or an organ of copulation, you may be correct. Likewise, at least for the penetrator on top (straight or gay), the rectum is in fact a place to receive pleasure.

I agree that for some men and women, being on the bottom may not in itself be stimulating. But for many, it is.

As for the premise that the one on the bottom is being subjugated, nonsense. Just flip yourself around and you are on top, being penetrated! Or, simply take turns.

The disease-spreading tendency of anal sex is a very serious issue, one often overlooked or dangerously underemphasized.

I have not read the entire website front page yet, but I both agree and disagree with certain points. Do they encourage oral sex, man to man? Not that I can see. And there is, for those who are sold on faithfulness, a big emphasis on fidelity and a clear condemnation of promiscuity.

C'mon, gay guys, don't let me be the only one who comments about this.

[thaicurious]

love frottage and oral sex. gets me hard every time. butt anal sex just grosses me out. always did. always will. heck, if i could have gotten past "the smell" i might even have gone str8. ok, well, maybe not that extreme. but that smell? yikes. it must be like having sex with a fart. ewwww! nothing that smells like that could possibly be good for ya.

over the years i've watched, out of curiosity, guys getting screwed in bathhouses and various parties. what always struck me odd is how so many so-called bottoms don't even get hard while they are getting screwed. i guess that's why they call it getting screwed. why anyone would do something that doesn't even turn them on is beyond me. and if you're not getting hard while a top penetrates your bottom, why label yourself as a bottom?

i think some guys assume that if they are not into penetrating bottoms, then they must have been designed to have tops penetrate theirs. like it has to be one way or the other. maybe some guys don't realize that anal sex is just an option; that it is not a mandatory activity defining gayety. maybe they think they need to submit to sex which does not turn them on just so they can catch a man. maybe think they are being generous by letting the other guy in, but really i think they are just cheating themselves by participating in sex that they might not even sexually enjoy.

[endure]

Maybe you don't necessarily have to get a hard-on to enjoy yourself?

[Jingthing]

While I think frot has limited appeal, they are on to something. Defining ourselves as anal tops or anal bottoms and the pressure to so do so, especially in Latin American cultures, is kind of a self induced oppression. The implication is that if you aren't into anal, or anal all the time, you are either not really gay, or a freak. It is also amusing that homophobes are obsessed with the anal part; little do they realize a huge percentage of gay people don't do that very much.

Edited April 26, 2008 by Jingthing

[endure]

This preoccupation with who sticks what into who imprisons us much more than any straight assumptions about us. My sex life belongs to me and the SO. It's not your business.

[PeaceBlondie]

Agreed. In over twenty years of being actively gay, I have gone long periods of activity without any anal sex. Maybe the guys who take bottom position are brainwashed by the tops, but there are lots of non-anal participants, and lots of versatile men out there. Frottage, from the impression of the website quoted in the OP, does not seem to include oral sex. What do they do, just kiss and hug, and rub their erections together? The website appeared to me to be a weak attempt by gays to meet the ignorant criticisms of the homophobic Christians - not a group to whom we need to make concessions.

[TopChinese]

Maybe the guys who take bottom position are brainwashed by the tops, but there are lots of non-anal participants, and lots of versatile men out there.

Don't knock it till you try it.. am happy to show you the pleasures of having another man inside you anytime, PB.

Agree with the general sentiment. As much as I enjoy spending the night with a hot man pumping his brains out, there is something to be said about just having someone special in my arms and holding him close like there's no tomorrow. Not many gay guys can handle a 12" monster every night anyway.

[PeaceBlondie]

You might have to speak to my ex-wife about that.

[dukkha]

I posted the website for people to read about alternatives, it was not an evangelical message as to how one might or might not participate in sex with other men.....at least it has had quite a significant number of viewers as well as comentators of varing levels of calm and also hostility...but has touched the nerve of quite a few of the members, and I consider this positive rather than negative...the sexual act is certainly the business of the two or three or four whom engage in it...it aint none of my business.... Dukkha

This preoccupation with who sticks what into who imprisons us much more than any straight assumptions about us. My sex life belongs to me and the SO. It's not your business.

[endure]

I posted the website for people to read about alternatives, it was not an evangelical message as to how one might or might not participate in sex with other men.....at least it has had quite a significant number of viewers as well as comentators of varing levels of calm and also hostility...but has touched the nerve of quite a few of the members, and I consider this positive rather than negative...the sexual act is certainly the business of the two or three or four whom engage in it...it aint none of my business.... Dukkha

This preoccupation with who sticks what into who imprisons us much more than any straight assumptions about us. My sex life belongs to me and the SO. It's not your business.

I suspect that most of us had already explored the alternatives available before we read the site. After all the WWW didn't appear till 1991. Were you all virgins before then?

[dukkha]

Your sharp british retorts have obviously earnt your well deserved status as a moderator..WWW is code for what..?

Maybe you might consider that not everyone has had the same exposure to the sexual continum that you profess...regardless, your omniscience is far superior to those who actually spend our lives living here full time...I remain yours humbly and without resentment, Dukkha.....

[twschw]

World Wide Web I am assuming. There is nothing wrong with Frot but to condem others for their sexual activities is wrong and that is what this site is about. If you had wanted to educate us on the sensual aspects of Frot that would have been fine, love to learn new ways to please my partner, but you could have chosen a better and less contoversial site to use.

[endure]

Your sharp british retorts have obviously earnt your well deserved status as a moderator..WWW is code for what..?

Maybe you might consider that not everyone has had the same exposure to the sexual continum that you profess...regardless, your omniscience is far superior to those who actually spend our lives living here full time...I remain yours humbly and without resentment, Dukkha.....

Are only those who live in Thailand entitled to opinions on frottage? If not, I don't understand your remarks about my omniscience, flattering through they are. As far as the website is concerned it seems to me to be a combination of personal bigotry, pseudo-scientific flim-flam and a selective plundering of the history of Sparta to support its own viewpoint.

[himachal]

Agreed. In over twenty years of being actively gay, I have gone long periods of activity without any anal sex. Maybe the guys who take bottom position are brainwashed by the tops, but there are lots of non-anal participants, and lots of versatile men out there. Frottage, from the impression of the website quoted in the OP, does not seem to include oral sex. What do they do, just kiss and hug, and rub their erections together? The website appeared to me to be a weak attempt by gays to meet the ignorant criticisms of the homophobic Christians - not a group to whom we need to make concessions.

Right on! Burn the book - and the Kama Sutra too, if its cramping your style!

[dukkha]

Glad the topic has engendered a wide variety of responses...indeed it was my objective and seems to have achieved same...continue with your modus vivendi and hope it brings you the joy of sex that I would imagine to be the aim of any two/three/four etc persons who wish to express their sexuality in a variety of ways...just got a little bored with penetration, top, bottom, and all the other stereotypes ascribed to gay men...an ejaculation or penetration has never been a yardstick (no pun intended) of the quality of intimacy between two or more gay men...Dukkha....

[PeaceBlondie]

Glad the topic has engendered a wide variety of responses...indeed it was my objective and seems to have achieved same...continue with your modus vivendi and hope it brings you the joy of sex that I would imagine to be the aim of any two/three/four etc persons who wish to express their sexuality in a variety of ways...just got a little bored with penetration, top, bottom, and all the other stereotypes ascribed to gay men...an ejaculation or penetration has never been a yardstick (no pun intended) of the quality of intimacy between two or more gay men...Dukkha....

I agree about lots of what you just said there, Dukkha, but can I get one of those yardsticks, please?

[endure]

Glad the topic has engendered a wide variety of responses...indeed it was my objective and seems to have achieved same...continue with your modus vivendi and hope it brings you the joy of sex that I would imagine to be the aim of any two/three/four etc persons who wish to express their sexuality in a variety of ways...just got a little bored with penetration, top, bottom, and all the other stereotypes ascribed to gay men...an ejaculation or penetration has never been a yardstick (no pun intended) of the quality of intimacy between two or more gay men...Dukkha....

I agree about lots of what you just said there, Dukkha, but can I get one of those yardsticks, please?

Me too! I've met some big todgers in my time but I've never come across a yardstick

[dukkha]

You surprise me Endure, I thought 'yardstick' has its derivation from Brititsh roots....now british roots, well there is a whole pandora's box...happy to let it be!

Dukkha