Seven Years With A Thai Girl Livein

[Ijustwannateach]

I'd like to point out there are forum rules against flaming and against sexually explicit posts, a few of which will now be deleted.

[Jai Dee]

My own personal view is that if it flys fcuks or floats rent it.

Not exactly politically correct but worthy of an honourable mention for the following award:

However, as a moderator I must discourage other members from posting similarly.

[jayjayjayjay]

after 7 years the 600 or 700k aint so bad only 100k year if you want tlook at it hardcore finanically!! What is a real bruiser is the mother, looks like she got what she wanted. I wouldn't bet on that being the only reason your gf was staying up late! Thai girls don't stay up to 3 in the morning worrying about mum! Did you ever see if she was chating on the internet with other suiters trying to pull a new deal? My bet is on her being in Dateinasia_com Cherryblossom_com or more than one of the fishing ground you can find TG's.

[samsara]

larryst

I always thought the girls only think about money or anything from day to day. Have a million baht one day and nothing the next day. I think it was probably a long term investment. Normally a guy would think 7 years he would have a little bit of influence in the relationship. But, the influence and the greed of the mother is over powering. I did ask her, if her mom really cares about her. To tell her to go back to work. I also mention about health problems and a few other things. All she said was. I have to do to take care of my family. then I said from that, your mom really doesn't care one thing about you. But, money. When your done working or can not work and have no money. You will be lucky. Because then your mom won't need you any more.

i would recommend a reading of Neils Mulders book , "Inside Thai Society" and in particular , the chapter entitled " Holy Mother , Mother Dear , How To Be A Thai Mother " for an insight into , among other things , family relationships and the moral debt that children ( are made to) feel towards their mothers , and how , in what appears to be a male dominated society , it is in fact the women that run show here , and that many men remain boys , a kind of grown up son to their spouses.

mis handling and mis understanding these deeply rooted cultural norms will often result in what to many foreigners seems like irrational behaviour from the woman , but is probably a normal response to a deeply felt hurt or the inadvertent crossing of a culturally forbidden boundary.

you, my man, know whats going! exactly 100%. everyone should consult taxexile before marrying any thai girl.

[Larryst]

Like I posted before it's not the money. It was a good house for her and me to have a good future to stay in. Your right, the mother did get what she wanted. Hope in the future what goes around comes around. Or karma. She will even get more (bad luck hopefully).

As far as staying up till 3 in the morning. She was usually watching tv and sleeping on the couch. She didn't use my computer online. But, probably online now in BKK looking for having a good future with another farang. Or what people usually say is. NEXT.

after 7 years the 600 or 700k aint so bad only 100k year if you want tlook at it hardcore finanically!! What is a real bruiser is the mother, looks like she got what she wanted. I wouldn't bet on that being the only reason your gf was staying up late! Thai girls don't stay up to 3 in the morning worrying about mum! Did you ever see if she was chating on the internet with other suiters trying to pull a new deal? My bet is on her being in Dateinasia_com Cherryblossom_com or more than one of the fishing ground you can find TG's.

[WARNING]

I just walked away from issan,after 5 yrs i dont like what i see up there now,its gone mad falang are turning up building houses getting trucks,as soon they are gone back to there country all the familys are moving in and riding around in the trucks,its become a joke,im glad im away from it all,my advice dont go to issan theres nothing there anyway only sugar n rice and whole load of people waiting to empty your account,my girl once told me it was a game but farang dont understand how to play it,i know what she meant now...

[grantbkk]

Sorry the OP had to go through what so many men and women go through almost everywhere. I don't think it happens too much in Muslim countries to the men at least.

One rule I have had for more than six years living outside my home country is to be ready to leave Thailand with no more than two suitcases. Circumstances may dictate or I may choose to make a move to the next paradise on short notice. Being bogged down with stuff goes against my rule. Household items can go to friends or the maid. That of course means rent or lease EVERYTHING when possible. Technically, many GF's are long term leases which unfortunately breakdown physically or mentally and often need to be replaced. Please note: I did not say every GF was a bad investment. Usually we only hear about the nightmares.

[snoophound]

Family first

Eom

I just walked away from issan,after 5 yrs i dont like what i see up there now,its gone mad falang are turning up building houses getting trucks,as soon they are gone back to there country all the familys are moving in and riding around in the trucks,its become a joke,im glad im away from it all,my advice dont go to issan theres nothing there anyway only sugar n rice and whole load of people waiting to empty your account,my girl once told me it was a game but farang dont understand how to play it,i know what she meant now...

[Samuian]

...

How long is long enough to trust someone?

Simply NEVER - happened to me after 14 Years, without any pre warning!

The best and safest solution to this problem of modern piracy is: DON'T - Who feeds you?

There aint no "free lunch" in the entire world!

Tough, but it's the way it is..!

Policy of open Pockets and "good heart" invites the robbers..

[kankaroo]

I don't know what to think about relationships really.

When in one I feel trapped, without one it gets lonely.

[phutoie2]

A few years back I bumped into an Australian in Lampang, & over some beers he told me that there are only 2 types of Thai women, bad ones and very bad ones. If you pick a bad un you may have a chance of success over here!

Once they have the land/house/car/gold & money in the bank you are suddenly surplus to requirements. It may take some years but will happen!

I have been married to a bad one for just 2 years and she has all the above. Most days I still think about what that old Aussie told me!!

The OP informs us of his situation in Petchabun province and there are simply stacks of farangs involved with local girls up here. Last year a young farang was killed in a drink related motorcycle accident in our town, he had bought land and built a good house on it for his GF/child and her family to move into, all was well for a short time and then the family wanted 15,000 baht a month off him so he could live there too, this on top of what he was paying to support his GF/child. Went off on a bender to think about it and bang on the way home.

[Pepe']

...

How long is long enough to trust someone?

Simply NEVER - happened to me after 14 Years, without any pre warning!

The best and safest solution to this problem of modern piracy is: DON'T - Who feeds you?

There aint no "free lunch" in the entire world!

Tough, but it's the way it is..!

Policy of open Pockets and "good heart" invites the robbers..

--------------

My ex sister-in-law (I do like her but don't trust her as far as I can throw her) in Samut Sakon always tells me I have a very,very good heart.

I am not poor and have always been very generous, to the point of spoiling, with my nieces and nephews.

Guess I'm screwed...

[Seizhin]

...

How long is long enough to trust someone?

Simply NEVER - happened to me after 14 Years, without any pre warning!

The best and safest solution to this problem of modern piracy is: DON'T - Who feeds you?

There aint no "free lunch" in the entire world!

Tough, but it's the way it is..!

Policy of open Pockets and "good heart" invites the robbers..

Agreed, but again, as out of the 4 people I trusted, only 1 ever betrayed me.

So I think it's based on your so called 'luck' and how sincere the person is.

There's always someone sincere out there.

The problem I'd also like to know is, how do you know whether the person is sincere or not?

Anyone?

[MidoriApple]

Loads of nice words from other posters cheering you up.

Me too!!! Felt really sad for what you've got.

I had got love-crisis twice during my 11 y/o relationship with my TBF

So far... we still get together... but i love him less and love myself more

I have learnt from our bad situations that I should be strength and live happily on my own

This is not about money, I had never taken his money whilst i have my own decent career.

It is all about my mind. You will understand if you really love someone.

So... Larryst... please keep this as your lesson-learned,

it is one kind of good experience, actually....learn from mistake....

and begin your life again by being new Larryst who is tougher.

Chin up and Stay positive na kha..!!!

[qwertz]

There have been many women in my life who I could trust with my life - funny thing - they were all the ones I never slept with.

[pop_corn]

I posted this in the Real Estate Section. But, I would like everyone to know. This can happen to anyione. Things do change drastically.

Here's my experience on relationship with a livein and building a house and having a future.

I knew a TG for over 7 years. I lived with her for over 4 years, been with her for 3 years on my trips to LOS. When I decided to move to Thailand in February 2004 things were great with her. After about 10 months or so I decided to sell my condo in Jomtein (big mistake). So we decided to move up north by her home in the Phetchabun area. We built a excellent nice bungalow. Had everything there. Granite flooring countertops, satellite, all new furnishings for the house. The area was building up so there was a few things for farangs to do. I was leary on building a house in a TG's name so I had it put in a corporation. Then about a 1 1/2 years later my livein mentioned she had some land. We could build a house on it, cheaper and save some money from the sale of the house, I had built. I figured things were great and had no problems. So I sold the house and her relatives built a house. They did a horseshit job on building it. But, I hired a thai guy to come in and replace and fix the fuc_kups on the builders they did. So things were great. Life was good so far. Then about a 1/1/2 later she started getting moody. In January 2008 she started giving me the silent treatment. After a bit, I asked what's the problem. The response is "Nothing". So after 2 months or more of the cold treatment and her comng to bed at 1, 2 or 3 in the morning and being a starfish. I started getting mad. I was giving her around 7,000 or 8,000 baht a month. Which is good for up there. Since the average thai joe makes about 4,000 a month. So I told her, I don't give any money to someone I don't talk to and money to someone who doesn't want to come to bed. I kept asking her all the time. What is the problem and we could work things out. Still she would say nothing or just ignore me and walk away. So around April 1st. I didn't give her money. Then things really went bad. So I decided to move out. I had to get my stuff out of there. So a friend that lived by me bought some of the larger items and helped me get a truck to get out of there. When he was going to get the stuff. There was a problem. Even with receipts in my name for the beds, satellite, water tank pump, TV, tables, refrigerator, washer and other things. They are not mine. Because it's in her house. I finally worked out a deal with her. So I could sell the things. So I would have some cash to get the <deleted> out of the village. In the process on the day my friend and his wife came to pickup the stuff she brought a long a policeman to fill out a list of the things I could take. My girl had to sign it. Otherwise, if she didn't sign it. I couldn't sell it and I could not take anything. While signing, her mom was there and her mom was giving problems. Telling my girl what to do. So on that day most of the larger things were sold & my things I wanted were packed up in a pickup to move to Pattaya.

Finally I got a little response from the girl as to what the problem is. Her mom was finishing her thai boyfriend and she needed a place to live. So it's easier to give me the boot and let her mom have the house. Since her mom has the house, my girl is now in BKK working with her sister. I told her why she didn't tell me this before. If she needed more cash I could give her more and we could have worked out things between us. There was no working out. Her mom wanted the house, more money and everything. I told her I could give more money to her so she could give it to her mom. Her 2 sisters could give some to her mom and her useless brother could send some money to her mom. But, no way. I am a farang so her sisters and brother don't have to. I think her mom has told her 2 daughters to also finish there thai husbands. So she could get more money.

Here is a good example or two on how f****n bullshit before the move. I was cleaning up the house because I knew I was leaving. So I seen a recycling guy in a truck to stop by. Take the plastic (a lot of Pepsi Max bottles), scrap steel that sat by the house for 8 months and some empty coffee cans from the states that was in a cupboard for over a year. Her mom seen them come by and she flipped out. My girl came and said why are you selling now. I just said I was cleaning things up so it wouldn't look like junk around there. Her mom was still mad. But I did get 300 baht from the recycle guy. I was also told my girl and her mom took my motorbike to a motorcycle shop to see what they could get. Good thing my bike was in my name. She couldn't sell it.

So after everything is done & over. Seven years with a girl you have been with. Who you think really loves you and trust. Will give you the walking papers in a flash of a eye. Or her mom tells her daughter to finish you immediately. I lose a house approximately 600,000 to 700,000 baht, a Nissan car that needs to be fixed, my mental health was f****d (didn't have much to begin with) and a few other things.

My advice to anyone. No one is safe with a thai girl with a relationship. They will try to get as much as you can. In building a house for board members up north or a girls village. Expect to lose as much as you can afford. Or as much as you can walk away.

I will also put a disclaimer on this. Not all girls will do this. There are some good girls out there. Good luck to everyone one with there relationship and building a house. You might be in the same situation. After the house is done. So are you.

I think I have read the same kind of problems over and over here... Sorry about it, I don't really what else to say. O_o

[scotwumman]

To Seizhin to know if someone is sincere has got to be very difficult in Thailand. The population is huge and the opportunity for relationships must be endless. All you have therefore is your own instinct and although as one poster suggested the private detective would be a possibility, who knows that the unwary wouldn't walk into a scam there also.

Some of the posts here have given me pause for thought. As an elderly western woman at one time thinking of retiring to Thailand the plight of some of these girls to have to carry their families through hardships (imagined or otherwise) must do away with their self-esteem so that sincerety would have to be in very short supply.

Very sad also very difficult for them to trust anyone else. When children have been undervalued by their own it shouldn't surprise anyone that some of these children in adulthood, female in this instance, will kick out against having to live as they do no matter how fine and well intentioned a person the farang may be.

[Pepe']

To Seizhin to know if someone is sincere has got to be very difficult in Thailand. The population is huge and the opportunity for relationships must be endless. All you have therefore is your own instinct and although as one poster suggested the private detective would be a possibility, who knows that the unwary wouldn't walk into a scam there also.

Some of the posts here have given me pause for thought. As an elderly western woman at one time thinking of retiring to Thailand the plight of some of these girls to have to carry their families through hardships (imagined or otherwise) must do away with their self-esteem so that sincerety would have to be in very short supply.

Very sad also very difficult for them to trust anyone else. When children have been undervalued by their own it shouldn't surprise anyone that some of these children in adulthood, female in this instance, will kick out against having to live as they do no matter how fine and well intentioned a person the farang may be.

--------------------

I think this statement is profound. Never really thought about it this way.

Definitely applies to my situation with my ex...

[qwertz]

So what's the answer?

Just play around or keep on chancing your luck in finding someone sincere?

Seems like a heap of effort and a long way to fly only to land on your rump or in bed with a stranger.

At least if you get let down on your own turf it's not so far to limp home.

I propose we boycott all Thai women until they get it right.

[distortedlink]

To Larryst.

I had a similar problem regarding property and real estate, not with a girlfriend or wife, but a Farang Partner and his Thai wife.

I can assure you that your girlfriend even though the house and land is in its name, under Thai law she has no claim to any of it while the ownership of the property is in dispute.

Believe it or not, Farang residents in Thailand do have substantial legal rights under Thai law.

For example, if a Thai perpetrates a crime against a Farang person, the Thai is brought to book the same if committed against Thai by a Thai, although many may disagree.

According to Thai law your girlfriend and you are classed as common law husband and wife. Any claim for property between you must be assessed by a judge in the civil court. If your girlfriend wants to lay claim to the property she must first apply to the civil court to be a manager of the estate, either herself or a third party, than ask the judge to apportion who owns what share of the real estate plus any other expenses, maintenance, pain and stress, bills, vehicles etc. If your girlfriend rents out the property, you are entitled to 50% of the rent and you can have her arrested if she deliberately damages the property.

If your girlfriend sells the property prior to any litigation, she could face a heavy fine or even a prison sentence. I would guess that she already has some Thai loser boyfriend in tow and that the family are gambling on your naivety of the system in Thailand. Quite honestly you are being treated like a mug.

I am well experienced in these matters, was a fully qualified legal executive in the UK. First things, contact your nearest consultant or embassy and ask for details of a reputable Thai lawyer. Much better than word of mouth or from an ad because some lawyers are not always up to the job. The consulates and embassies have a number of recommended lawyers on their books.

Once you have appointed a lawyer, get him/her to write to your girlfriend for an out of court settlement that will be agreeable to both parties. You will find that once these cretins receive a lawyer's letter, they will <deleted> themselves and may do the trick, which will make them think you are not as gullible as they first thought.

If that strategy doesn't work, second, begin civil court proceedings against your girlfriend and her family. The court fees are 2.5% of the value of the real estate, which is valued according to the estimates of the land office. As it is you that will take them to court, you can claim back all your legal fees, including lawyer's fees from the proceeds of the estate.

While this is going on, stay well clear of your girlfriend and her family and have no contact other than that from your lawyer. Otherwise they will claim harassment and get the police involved, which will go against you in court.

Providing you have stayed clean since living in Thailand and all the property purchases were above board, you should have no problems with the legal system and be able to claim back what is rightfully yours.

If your girlfriend or her family sells the real estate before judgment is made in the civil court, you can take out a criminal case against them with the police and have them arrested for cheating you. Just walk into a main police station and give the details and request an arrest. If one police station is not interested, try another. You may be asked for something under the counter, that can't be claimed back.

As for the emotional part of it, that's something you have to deal with as a separate issue.

Please keep us informed of your progress and good luck.

Edited May 5, 2008 by distortedlink

[Drewcifer]

Wow, there is a lot that can be said here. I think there is one simple way to look at it though. When you marry a Thai, you are establishing a relationship not with just her but with her entire family. It's always in your best interest to nurture and reinforce your relationship with her family as much as possible. Without doing that you're just "the white guy thats always around her".

[aries27]

for the first time, i do not know what to say...

coming from where i am, neither a thai gf/wife or a farang... never been in this kind of situation either..

yet reading these sad stories leaves a bad taste in the mouth.

on the surface, it looks like thai gf/wife and farang bf/husband is a match made in heaven. like a damsel-in-distress and a knight-in-shining-armour meeting and fitting together perfectly like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. looking from the outside, i never realized there was a lot of room for deception, false expectations, and plain misunderstanding coming from a difference in culture and language. i certainly never thought farangs are also (or even mostly?) the ones being compromised, ripped off in plain language. but then of course, we have to hear the side of the thai partner too. which of course is impossible to get from this english speaking forum...

mainly, i just want to say i am appalled to hear about these stories. this should not be happening, too many lonely people and too many broken dreams (and hearts in the "land of smiles"). just doesnt seem right...

no words of wisdom here, no tips. just a reality check.

still hope things work out for the rest of the people here. too much effort in the pursuit of happiness only to end up this way or that. it happens everywhere, whether in your home country or not. i guess bi-cultural marriages like the "native" ones are the same...both parties have to work for it.

best of luck (and prayers if you believe in it) for all of us...

p.s. i still dont feel right posting this..... oh well....

[TheDon]

I feel really lucky after reading some of your stories

[Ijustwannateach]

As other posters have said, I think the fundamental relationship error here (and in many other cases in this country and others) is not really getting to know your partner, his/her family, friends, co-workers, history, etc. before accepting a lot of risk. As a good friend of mine has often told me, in Thailand if something seems fishy it probably *is* fishy.

It helps to speak a bit of Thai, too, but we'll always be at a disadvantage. In fact, I'd say that you're not really ready for a relationship with any serious risk in Thailand until you have good Thai friends unrelated to any potential spouse who would be able and willing to 'vet' them for you.

"S"

[Pepe']

So what's the answer?

Just play around or keep on chancing your luck in finding someone sincere?

Seems like a heap of effort and a long way to fly only to land on your rump or in bed with a stranger.

At least if you get let down on your own turf it's not so far to limp home.

I propose we boycott all Thai women until they get it right.

------------------

Just play around locally.

There are more asian chicks here in San Diego than you can shake a, a, a "stick" at.

I've been dating this young Fillapina for about 9 months now.

Where was Thailand again...

[Pepe']

To Larryst.

I had a similar problem regarding property and real estate, not with a girlfriend or wife, but a Farang Partner and his Thai wife.

I can assure you that your girlfriend even though the house and land is in its name, under Thai law she has no claim to any of it while the ownership of the property is in dispute.

Believe it or not, Farang residents in Thailand do have substantial legal rights under Thai law.

For example, if a Thai perpetrates a crime against a Farang person, the Thai is brought to book the same if committed against Thai by a Thai, although many may disagree.

According to Thai law your girlfriend and you are classed as common law husband and wife. Any claim for property between you must be assessed by a judge in the civil court. If your girlfriend wants to lay claim to the property she must first apply to the civil court to be a manager of the estate, either herself or a third party, than ask the judge to apportion who owns what share of the real estate plus any other expenses, maintenance, pain and stress, bills, vehicles etc. If your girlfriend rents out the property, you are entitled to 50% of the rent and you can have her arrested if she deliberately damages the property.

If your girlfriend sells the property prior to any litigation, she could face a heavy fine or even a prison sentence. I would guess that she already has some Thai loser boyfriend in tow and that the family are gambling on your naivety of the system in Thailand. Quite honestly you are being treated like a mug.

I am well experienced in these matters, was a fully qualified legal executive in the UK. First things, contact your nearest consultant or embassy and ask for details of a reputable Thai lawyer. Much better than word of mouth or from an ad because some lawyers are not always up to the job. The consulates and embassies have a number of recommended lawyers on their books.

Once you have appointed a lawyer, get him/her to write to your girlfriend for an out of court settlement that will be agreeable to both parties. You will find that once these cretins receive a lawyer's letter, they will <deleted> themselves and may do the trick, which will make them think you are not as gullible as they first thought.

If that strategy doesn't work, second, begin civil court proceedings against your girlfriend and her family. The court fees are 2.5% of the value of the real estate, which is valued according to the estimates of the land office. As it is you that will take them to court, you can claim back all your legal fees, including lawyer's fees from the proceeds of the estate.

While this is going on, stay well clear of your girlfriend and her family and have no contact other than that from your lawyer. Otherwise they will claim harassment and get the police involved, which will go against you in court.

Providing you have stayed clean since living in Thailand and all the property purchases were above board, you should have no problems with the legal system and be able to claim back what is rightfully yours.

If your girlfriend or her family sells the real estate before judgment is made in the civil court, you can take out a criminal case against them with the police and have them arrested for cheating you. Just walk into a main police station and give the details and request an arrest. If one police station is not interested, try another. You may be asked for something under the counter, that can't be claimed back.

As for the emotional part of it, that's something you have to deal with as a separate issue.

Please keep us informed of your progress and good luck.

----------------------

Mug. Yes that's me. Uninformed, in love, trusting, generous, good heart.

Got taken for a pretty good ride. At least I kept my properties and Most assets here in San Diego.

But man was I taken for a ride. I just believed and was told by "many" I had no claim to anything but a condo in Thailand.

Now having this info would I have done anything different when the sh@t was hitting the fan.

Not really. Maybe bargained a little harder in the cash department but all in aal glad to be rid of the lying snake.

Yes I am damaged goods and now I've only got one use for women. No make that two. Well, no make that three...

[Larryst]

This post is excellent for rights. I would like to try to do it. Just to pi**ss off my girl & family. The trouble is, even though I paid for everything in cash. I have no receipts or anything in building the house (labor or materials). It would be a lot harder to prove it under court (I think).

To Larryst.

I had a similar problem regarding property and real estate, not with a girlfriend or wife, but a Farang Partner and his Thai wife.

I can assure you that your girlfriend even though the house and land is in its name, under Thai law she has no claim to any of it while the ownership of the property is in dispute.

Believe it or not, Farang residents in Thailand do have substantial legal rights under Thai law.

For example, if a Thai perpetrates a crime against a Farang person, the Thai is brought to book the same if committed against Thai by a Thai, although many may disagree.

According to Thai law your girlfriend and you are classed as common law husband and wife. Any claim for property between you must be assessed by a judge in the civil court. If your girlfriend wants to lay claim to the property she must first apply to the civil court to be a manager of the estate, either herself or a third party, than ask the judge to apportion who owns what share of the real estate plus any other expenses, maintenance, pain and stress, bills, vehicles etc. If your girlfriend rents out the property, you are entitled to 50% of the rent and you can have her arrested if she deliberately damages the property.

If your girlfriend sells the property prior to any litigation, she could face a heavy fine or even a prison sentence. I would guess that she already has some Thai loser boyfriend in tow and that the family are gambling on your naivety of the system in Thailand. Quite honestly you are being treated like a mug.

I am well experienced in these matters, was a fully qualified legal executive in the UK. First things, contact your nearest consultant or embassy and ask for details of a reputable Thai lawyer. Much better than word of mouth or from an ad because some lawyers are not always up to the job. The consulates and embassies have a number of recommended lawyers on their books.

Once you have appointed a lawyer, get him/her to write to your girlfriend for an out of court settlement that will be agreeable to both parties. You will find that once these cretins receive a lawyer's letter, they will <deleted> themselves and may do the trick, which will make them think you are not as gullible as they first thought.

If that strategy doesn't work, second, begin civil court proceedings against your girlfriend and her family. The court fees are 2.5% of the value of the real estate, which is valued according to the estimates of the land office. As it is you that will take them to court, you can claim back all your legal fees, including lawyer's fees from the proceeds of the estate.

While this is going on, stay well clear of your girlfriend and her family and have no contact other than that from your lawyer. Otherwise they will claim harassment and get the police involved, which will go against you in court.

Providing you have stayed clean since living in Thailand and all the property purchases were above board, you should have no problems with the legal system and be able to claim back what is rightfully yours.

If your girlfriend or her family sells the real estate before judgment is made in the civil court, you can take out a criminal case against them with the police and have them arrested for cheating you. Just walk into a main police station and give the details and request an arrest. If one police station is not interested, try another. You may be asked for something under the counter, that can't be claimed back.

As for the emotional part of it, that's something you have to deal with as a separate issue.

Please keep us informed of your progress and good luck.

[wolfmanjack]

If you can prove where the money came from then you should not need receipts. It would be obvious if the only source of income was from you. Especially if you have bank records showing the money came from overseas.

This post is excellent for rights. I would like to try to do it. Just to pi**ss off my girl & family. The trouble is, even though I paid for everything in cash. I have no receipts or anything in building the house (labor or materials). It would be a lot harder to prove it under court (I think).

To Larryst.

I had a similar problem regarding property and real estate, not with a girlfriend or wife, but a Farang Partner and his Thai wife.

I can assure you that your girlfriend even though the house and land is in its name, under Thai law she has no claim to any of it while the ownership of the property is in dispute.

Believe it or not, Farang residents in Thailand do have substantial legal rights under Thai law.

For example, if a Thai perpetrates a crime against a Farang person, the Thai is brought to book the same if committed against Thai by a Thai, although many may disagree.

According to Thai law your girlfriend and you are classed as common law husband and wife. Any claim for property between you must be assessed by a judge in the civil court. If your girlfriend wants to lay claim to the property she must first apply to the civil court to be a manager of the estate, either herself or a third party, than ask the judge to apportion who owns what share of the real estate plus any other expenses, maintenance, pain and stress, bills, vehicles etc. If your girlfriend rents out the property, you are entitled to 50% of the rent and you can have her arrested if she deliberately damages the property.

If your girlfriend sells the property prior to any litigation, she could face a heavy fine or even a prison sentence. I would guess that she already has some Thai loser boyfriend in tow and that the family are gambling on your naivety of the system in Thailand. Quite honestly you are being treated like a mug.

I am well experienced in these matters, was a fully qualified legal executive in the UK. First things, contact your nearest consultant or embassy and ask for details of a reputable Thai lawyer. Much better than word of mouth or from an ad because some lawyers are not always up to the job. The consulates and embassies have a number of recommended lawyers on their books.

Once you have appointed a lawyer, get him/her to write to your girlfriend for an out of court settlement that will be agreeable to both parties. You will find that once these cretins receive a lawyer's letter, they will <deleted> themselves and may do the trick, which will make them think you are not as gullible as they first thought.

If that strategy doesn't work, second, begin civil court proceedings against your girlfriend and her family. The court fees are 2.5% of the value of the real estate, which is valued according to the estimates of the land office. As it is you that will take them to court, you can claim back all your legal fees, including lawyer's fees from the proceeds of the estate.

While this is going on, stay well clear of your girlfriend and her family and have no contact other than that from your lawyer. Otherwise they will claim harassment and get the police involved, which will go against you in court.

Providing you have stayed clean since living in Thailand and all the property purchases were above board, you should have no problems with the legal system and be able to claim back what is rightfully yours.

If your girlfriend or her family sells the real estate before judgment is made in the civil court, you can take out a criminal case against them with the police and have them arrested for cheating you. Just walk into a main police station and give the details and request an arrest. If one police station is not interested, try another. You may be asked for something under the counter, that can't be claimed back.

As for the emotional part of it, that's something you have to deal with as a separate issue.

Please keep us informed of your progress and good luck.

[Samuian]

.... your lesson-learned,

it is one kind of good experience, actually....learn from mistake....

I really love the idea of that twist and u-turn in the judgement of Larrys demise, can't really see which mistake HE made! ...

Is it "Thai-Logic", or am I just missing the point here?

Since my divorce from my thai wife, I went to the sacred mountain and received a commandment I stick very strictly to:

"temporary relationsships only, without ANY commitment!"

Since I live a better, happier life in personal freedom ... it's easy, but most have the tendency to make themselves a depended love-slave... if anyone sits back and thinks about what one has to "invest", to get what in return?

What I learned over the many years of me staying in this Country is that if she agrees to "american share", has her own place to stay, her own income, buys me the first gift, I may consider a extended temporary relationship! I even would go as far as: buys ME a house, buys ME a car, buys ME Gold and Diamonds, a new mobile phone every couple of months, takes ME on trips overseas... I would maybe consider to marry again!

Everything else will turn out to be a disaster, so why start something like this in the first place?

[duchovny]

What a load of crap. I have a wonderful Thai gf who would never do this. So I don't think you should generalise all Thai girls because of your own experience.This type of thing can happen in any country if you pick the wrong girl.

Now, I don't know for sure, but I would bet money that this girl you're talking about was a previous employee of "the Industry".

They are renowned for mental health problems. It happens to almost evry farang who chooses a girl who has ever worked (even for a short period). The guy is also usually 20-40 years older than the girl which obviously raises an alert as to her long term motives.

Just another one biting the dust. You wont be the last.