British Man Refuses To Support The Baby

[CCCP]

She doesn't go by the name of Jade, Pacha, Pepsi or something like that does she. Or was it Jaz?

[egg6447]

a little fact, it seems from my experiance that only the husbands name can go on th b/c. i was the father/am and the thai authorities would not allow my name on the b/c unless we married. i checked this fact in korat and pattaya. now married and name on b/c. stay away from another mans problem. or adopt mother and child, i suspect thats the long term aim here.

Egg, how long ago was that? Last year in Phuket I didn't have any problem to get my name on the b/c, though I am not married with the child's mother.

baby now 2+8mths. had a talk with the wife about this on a historical level. my father in law is living with his second wife. still married to his first wife. he has split his land up/devided a plot for each child. all the kids from the wife got there land for the small tax as his children. ie there sername is the same. two kids from the second wife , they need to pay more tax as there sername is different, they cant afford the tax so the land just sits there. im led to believe he cant put his name on the birth cert. now this is a thai man and all the kids are 30 plus. well they do say amazing thai land. me, ive no idea. just relating my understandi

[Boo]

it seems to depend on which amphur you are registering the birth with. Some do not know that unmarried fathers can be on the bc & some do. I recall a thread here where the op argued his case & took some printed documents in thai legalese to the amphur, they then called the main office & had it confirmed & he was added without further issue to his childs bc as the (unmarried) father.

Think it is just a lack of education at certian officess & a lack of pushing on the part of the parents as they aren't 100% sure.

[slapout]

My first question is whose name is on the b/c as the father? Is it left blank? Sounds like a bargirl could be using the baby support gig in the same way they have been known to juggle boyfriends and even husbands at times. Bargirls have a job that can turn into a life giving one if an 'accident' happens. Wonder what the 'accident' rate of bargirls is compared to say office workers?

[GeorgeB]

I don't know anything of this girl so it's hard to comment but I do about my very good friend.

Totally in love with one guy and one guy only he arrived in Thailand on a suprise visit she slept with him and fell pregnant.

This girl works with me 5 days a week and has done so for the last 3 years.

She wouldn't know what the inside of a bar looked like having come to Bangkok straight from university in her home town.

When she told this rat of man his comments broke her heart. Get rid of it how do i know it's mines the usual crap.

I would gamble my life this girl has never slept with anyone else since the day she met him and what I have adviced her to do is go for the jugular. I being the biggest whoremaster in Bangkok know better than anyone what she is like.

Would appreciate anyones advice. She says she wants nothing from him but that's just her pride. For me you dip your wick you pay the price and remember this isn't a one night stand nor is this some runaround sue I am talking about.

I read the comments on the birth certificate thanks...does anyone know how much is the normal support if it can be proven he is the father.

[Theyreallrubbish]

If she had unprotected shag with him, more than likely she had it with others. So looks as if you are smitten - when you getting married?

No my friend not my type.

You know sometimes humanity for someone who is put in a situation can be spared.

The <deleted> that is nicely living at home with his wife and kids should be a man and take the steps if he is the father to support the child.

I Only hope that when the child grows up and finds the <deleted> and kill him.

Who appointed you Sir Laugh a lot?

"Mothers not your type?" She will be disapointed.

"The <deleted> that is nicely living at home with his wife and kids should be a man and take the steps if he is the father to support the child".

Hope the kid tracks this guy down and kills him?

IF? There is no IF about it .

This woman has provided you with all the information and on that basis you not only judge the guy guilty but suggest the kid should track him down and kill him!

Other than "heresay" you have no tangable evidence to prove him guilty, so dispite your heavily prejudiced opinion it remains to be proven that the guy is the <deleted> you judge him to be to be.

From your comments in your posting the only proven "<deleted>" to date is yourself.

The guy is innocent until the facts prove otherwise.

Well Sir Laugh a lot, get on your charger,visit the guy at his home and confront him infront of his wife and kids ( IF they exist) and I hope you learn from the experience.

Roy gsd

I agree completely with this and the other skeptical posters.

Without even considering the source the OP has judged and condemned a man and wished for his death.

God forbid that bar girls, prostitutes, and other individuals involved in jobs that require constant lying and emotional manipulation should be be doubted, but even on the slight off chance that she's not being 100% accurate in her assertions, the wishing of death on a man should at least await his side of the story.

In other words, have some common sense! Its a BG story tried on everyone that looks naive to try and generate sympathy that could lead to money!

Spend more time with her and expect to see her in tears and reluctantly have it dragged out of her that her baby is sick and she can't afford the doctor. Can you help? How could you say no when you know she's the innocent victim of a dastardly piece of scum?

[petitechevre]

seriously

no self respecting man would help out a bar girl... i mean wake the hel_l up dude.

she's a prostitute, her job is to protect herself. Getting pregnant is same same as a doctor getting hiv from a surgery. is the doctor gonna pursue the patient or ask him to take care of him? no.

its a risk in your job. she's bones many many dudes, more than 1 without a condom, even if this guy happens to be the father.. it doesnt mean ANYTHING because the other fat guy she was gonna bone the next day could of impregnanted her aswell..

it was just a matter of time.

Also waiting to be living with the guy might be a little more clever...

No shame on bar girls though. . they're fun human beings for the most part, but let's not forget.. they are prostitute and if this happened in NYC you would be laughed at so hard, but this forum has many members who need the use of those girls so they are put on a pedestral.

Only respect i willg ive them is being nice to them when they approach me with no chances.

[Carib]

I was talking to a lady who was working at a bar in Thailand in May this year and how she got involved with a British guy who made her pregnant, and now she has had his baby.

She told me that he refuses to support the baby and know it's his.

I asked her did she pursue this with the Thai authority, she says she did, but because she did not put his name on the birth certificate the authority can do nothing. Is this true?

She showed me the picture of the baby on her mobile phone, and she now has to support the baby herself.

This seems very unfair, and she was a good likeable lady with good hart.

Can anyone help with this; I have kept her contact number just in case someone can advise help. Thanks

[harleyclarkey]

This is a load of rubbish.

Why would you (those that do) want to contact this woman.....having heard one side of the story and dealing with a profesional bar girl? Have you met her....do you know if she wanted a baby? Is this a deliberate act to entrap a man for life against his wishes? A cold callous act to extract money from a customer? And that is all he is from what is told here....a customer of a bar hooker. It is up to her to know her body and to prevent a pregnancy. That is if she ever bothered to do so.

My sympathies are with the poor unfortunate man. This isn't about deliberate lies and deceit from the guy....it is to me the other way around. She offered a service....he paid (???) and that is that. Bar girl....multiple partners....pregnancy....baby....what the hel_l did she expect?

No more to be told. Or is that "the girls" want to gang up and swarm all over the bar girl with offers of help....like to bury the guy??

[GeorgeB]

This is a load of rubbish.

Why would you (those that do) want to contact this woman.....having heard one side of the story and dealing with a profesional bar girl? Have you met her....do you know if she wanted a baby? Is this a deliberate act to entrap a man for life against his wishes? A cold callous act to extract money from a customer? And that is all he is from what is told here....a customer of a bar hooker. It is up to her to know her body and to prevent a pregnancy. That is if she ever bothered to do so.

My sympathies are with the poor unfortunate man. This isn't about deliberate lies and deceit from the guy....it is to me the other way around. She offered a service....he paid (???) and that is that. Bar girl....multiple partners....pregnancy....baby....what the hel_l did she expect?

No more to be told. Or is that "the girls" want to gang up and swarm all over the bar girl with offers of help....like to bury the guy??

Your problem mate is you are tarring everyone with the same brush. They are just lumps of meat to guys like you with no feelings.

It is not up to a bar girl to protect herself it is up to both parties or maybe you have never heard of HIV. When the guy had sex without protection was he 100% certain he wasn't carrying the virus or did he give a hoot.

In this world if you bend it you buy it mate. Making out girls are all bad and guys are all good is the typical attitude of a brainless frang who thinks he knows it all. What was he thinking when he was humping her......."if she gets pregnant too bad but I like it better without a condom?

You say your sympathies are with the poor man............you have no idea of the meaning of the word mate.

[jts-khorat]

You say your sympathies are with the poor man............you have no idea of the meaning of the word mate.

Just to re-cap this little story: girl knows the man has wife and kids and works in a bar; now she is pregnant even though there are condoms, the pill, the after-pill and in a worst case scenario abortion.

No sympathy for the girl, I feel sad for the kid to have such a careless mother.

[britmaveric]

Careless punter - both equally to blame.

[undercover]

This seems very unfair, and she was a good likeable lady with good hart.

Can anyone help with this; I have kept her contact number just in case someone can advise help. Thanks

.......................................

I think most of us on this forum are old enough to realize what's going on here.

The op fancy's the girl himself, probably can't get involved with her because of being in a long term relationship, but with this problem she has can stay in contact and be her knight in shining amour...

Maybe Im wrong but it certainly look's that way to me...

[wolf5370]

I was talking to a lady who was working at a bar in Thailand in May this year and how she got involved with a British guy who made her pregnant, and now she has had his baby.

She told me that he refuses to support the baby and know it's his.

I asked her did she pursue this with the Thai authority, she says she did, but because she did not put his name on the birth certificate the authority can do nothing. Is this true?

She showed me the picture of the baby on her mobile phone, and she now has to support the baby herself.

This seems very unfair, and she was a good likeable lady with good hart.

Can anyone help with this; I have kept her contact number just in case someone can advise help. Thanks

Alright, trying to be objective here and staying away from the 'who is to blame' question ('cos it sure as h3ll ain't the kid!) I would say - If he was in Thailand (you don't actually say if he was an expat or a visitor) she stands a very slim chance of getting something, in that he may back down from a writ in order to protect his family (or let it be known what he did); If he has returned to the UK, then she cold apply to the courts there, it would be very expensive (no legal aid for her) and she would stand almost no chance of winning I would suggest - her occupation (even if she is just a waitress any barrister in the UK would show her as a gold digging prostitute quite easily because its what the court would believe) would count against her as would the fact that she didn't at least try and have him added to the birth cert (could show that she had no intention of giving him any parental rights/responsbility at that point - so maybe she has changed her mind after being elightened as to how much of a cash-cow it could be).

I think she stands very little chance really other than perhaps finding a man that would accept the child and look after them both - she should put it behind her, pushing this is unlikely to give anything but further problems for all concerned. Sorry.

Edited August 18, 2008 by wolf5370

[mr_hippo]

She showed me the picture of the baby on her mobile phone...

If you believe that, here is a picture of my wife's Lear jet - mine is similar but in a different colour

[samskywalker]

As it is true in nearly every part of the world, it not just the foreigners who impregnate the girls here, many, perhaps the vast majority have been bedded by their own nationals and most likely the numbers are far greater. Willingness to be responsible for raising the child of such a union (temporary or otherwise) is likewise not limited to the many punters who come looking for pleasure. Just two weekends ago we had a nine year old girl visiting us and she had an appendicitis attack. We rushed her to the hospital to get the needed operation and it would have been free except the father of this lovely child is a retired general from the army who also had other wives and mistresses. It could have been covered under governmental policies as medical care for military personnel and their dependents is free if he had simply signed a paper acknowledging the paternity. He has never provided the first satang of support for this child and perhaps more children that he has fathered. He refused to sign the paper acknowledging his paternity and as a result she could not get free treatment. Through a lot of negotiating and appealing with the social services department and then the health department in our province my wife was able to convince the hospital to offer for the surgery and hospitalization for free. Shame on the general! Fortunately this child has fully recovered and now has a free hospital ID card like most other Thai children.

[DirkGently]

What is honest? Surely not from he those that frequect the pits!

You get waht you pay for.

[shielded220011]

You might consider the possibility that the baby, is not even HER baby, just some baby she has a photo of, and the whole story, is a story, to get money from you at a later date, when you love her, and she needs excuses on a weekly basis, for emergency money.

Maybe she is already getting 5 allowances from concerned men such as yourself, for her baby. Or for her photo baby.

Very good point, it's not unheard of in Thailand for financial gain

[shielded220011]

This seems very unfair, and she was a good likeable lady with good hart.

Can anyone help with this; I have kept her contact number just in case someone can advise help. Thanks

.......................................

I think most of us on this forum are old enough to realize what's going on here.

The op fancy's the girl himself, probably can't get involved with her because of being in a long term relationship, but with this problem she has can stay in contact and be her knight in shining amour...

Maybe Im wrong but it certainly look's that way to me...

Agreed!

What about father's that love their children, and Thai women that don't want a little one to stop their advancements in certain career advancements, and just walk away and use them as chess pieces.

I'm stepping up to the plate everyday and have been for the past year and a half. My ex-gf is not a bg, but she has here own problems, within her family and possibly looking for sympathy.

I grant her that but she must also think about her daughters future. We all make mistakes but we can correct them in life as long as we don't meet are end before hand, It's never to late even for a professional manipulator.

S.