My Car Hit A Motorcy!

[tuky]

I woke up last night to find out my car had hit a motocy...

So what you might say?

Well, I am in <deleted> Indonesia.

Knowing that I will not be in Thailand for the next year and nobody else around to drive my car I let the insurance slip

Shame on me, I should have known from past experience that the FiL would somehow get his hands on it.

I used to have two cars but had to sell one because he borrowed (stole) it and took it to Cambodia where he borrowed money against it from a loan shark so he could lose it all gambling.

Anyway, I have no idea what happens from here. I did ask what had happened and is he ok, the answer I got was he is ok but he is worried whether I will be able to get the money over there soon enough to pay off the motorcy driver and to fix my car.

I was astonished and came close to calling the Police to say my car had been stolen.

Anyway, I managed say between clenched teeth and rising blood pressure that I don't give a flying hoot how the FiL is I was asking about the guy on the motorcy.

her outdoors says: Oh, he is ok, but he wants his money.

My reply was to tell her to tell the FiL to get off his @rse, find a job so he can pay him off.

her outdoors says, how can he find a job if he hasn't got a car? better send the money to fix the car first.

Needless to say my car isn't getting fixed, it can sit and rot for all I care, they had ruined a perfect condition 1.2 mill Toyota wish before the accident anyway.

Rant over, still don't feel better.

[Forkinhades]

what the heck is that all about???, does not make any sense at all

[tuky]

what the heck is that all about???, does not make any sense at all

Tell me about it, what the heck is the FiL doing driving my car?

Doesn't make any sense.

I guess the moral of the story (told whilst furious) is that you must make sure you know where all your car keys are at all times.

[Crossy]

Fork ^^^ I had to read it twice

Seems tuky's father-in-law 'borrowed' (stole) his car, drove it with no insurance, hit a motorcycle, and is now expecting Tuky to pay for repairs to both vehicles and the motorcy driver. There is an aside detailing the loss of his other vehicle (also to FIL).

Personally I would not send a brass bean. FIL was driving, the accident and repairs are purely his responsibility. Period!

[tuky]

Fork ^^^ I had to read it twice

Seems tuky's father-in-law 'borrowed' (stole) his car, drove it with no insurance, hit a motorcycle, and is now expecting Tuky to pay for repairs to both vehicles and the motorcy driver. There is an aside detailing the loss of his other vehicle (also to FIL).

Personally I would not send a brass bean. FIL was driving, the accident and repairs are purely his responsibility. Period!

I will defer to Crossy in the future as he is a lot more eloquent under pressure than I can be

[donna]

the repairs are his responsibility but i suspect that he is not responsible at all.

if you know what i mean.

[Crossy]

Fork ^^^ I had to read it twice

Seems tuky's father-in-law 'borrowed' (stole) his car, drove it with no insurance, hit a motorcycle, and is now expecting Tuky to pay for repairs to both vehicles and the motorcy driver. There is an aside detailing the loss of his other vehicle (also to FIL).

Personally I would not send a brass bean. FIL was driving, the accident and repairs are purely his responsibility. Period!

I will defer to Crossy in the future as he is a lot more eloquent under pressure than I can be

Nah, no pressure this end

If it happened to me I would be equally furious (particularly after the Cambodia incident) and considerably less eloquent (the naughty word filter would be working overtime).

Have to assume that 'er indoors let him have the keys, sad (but not surprising) that dad takes priority over you in your absence

Whilst I'm away my car gets driven by either of my two step-sons (they drive the wife) with my full permission and my 1st class insurance. They both know that if they shunt it, it's their problem. They both have jobs and families so I class them as 'responsible' unlike Tuky's FiL who seems (from the limited data we have) to be something of a waste of space

That said, I'm usually only away for 6-8 weeks at a stretch.

Edited June 18, 2008 by Crossy

[tuky]

Actually, I do feel a bit for the bloke. He is not that different from me, except I have a job.

We both like a drink, we both like some sanook and we both married the same woman (it seems).

[BEENTHEREDONETHAT]

If you fix up all the problems they will just happen again. Let him be responsible and fix them and it less likely to happen again.

It's one thing to be a nice guy entirely another to be playede for a sucker.

Let him (them) work it our without your help or $$$.

[tuky]

If you fix up all the problems they will just happen again. Let him be responsible and fix them and it less likely to happen again.

It's one thing to be a nice guy entirely another to be playede for a sucker.

Let him (them) work it our without your help or $$$.

I won't be using it for next 12 months anyway, plus as I have proof of vehicle ownership in my home country so in compensation my company give me a US1500 a month car allowance here in Indo anyway so the car can just sit there until either they fix it (preferrably not as I like things fixed properly) or I will fix it when i get home.

Anyway, just be warned folks. Many Thai families consider your posessions to actually be family possessions.

[toptuan]

Anyway, just be warned folks. Many Thai families consider your posessions to actually be family possessions.

So true. I can't tell you how many things I have loaned out to Thais, and have never received back. Now, when a Thai asks to borrow something, I just consider whether I want to lose it permanently or not, before the final decision is made.

[eljeque]

If a family member of the gf wants to borrow something, hold their ID card until they return it. They will always say they need an item for a short period f time, so it should not hinder their daily lives. If for some reason, they need to get money from the bank, then they need to do that first. If they have gold on their neck, they can leave that instead.

[Kerryd]

If a family member of the gf wants to borrow something, hold their ID card until they return it. They will always say they need an item for a short period f time, so it should not hinder their daily lives. If for some reason, they need to get money from the bank, then they need to do that first. If they have gold on their neck, they can leave that instead.

Not always easy to do, especially if you and they are in different countries at the time (and it would appear the the "FiL" probably wouldn't have had any collateral to offer up any ways).

I left my Harley with a friend I'm pretty sure I can trust (or at least hunt down like a dog in the streets if need be ). I was going to leave it at the shop of another guy we both know, but my friend suggested that wasn't such a good idea, as that guy was known to use customers bikes from time to time to go on various road trips.

If I had found out the shop owner had taken my bike out anywhere (especially out of the country) and racked it up, I would be very upset, to say the least. I'd probably have to join another forum that didn't use language filters so I could properly vent my frustrations (from 3,500 miles away).

So Tuky, does this mean the family is now without a vehicle at all ? 1 lost in Cambodia, 1 in this accident ?

[tuky]

So Tuky, does this mean the family is now without a vehicle at all ? 1 lost in Cambodia, 1 in this accident ?

The Fam. are with me here mate, that's what makes it all so infuriating.

[indothai]

Cut your losses. Unless don't mind loosing 2 cars and plan on getting a 3rd, and loosing that one and getting a 4th, and loosing that one... "See a pattern emerging here..." ?

Good luck.

[Gravelrash]

This is probably incorrect information as it came from my ex-wife, but she claimed that in these circumstances the vehicle owner can be held liable for damages in an accident, namely you and not necessarily the driver.

I am sure though others will prove this wrong.

[MaiChai]

Walking wallet should pay! Bloody ridiculous that you marry a Thai and they then expect you to fork out for everything!

You need to make some ground rules. If you let this one go, what will they hit you with next (excuse the pun)? I think this concept is well established now in modern Thailand; why should anyone be responsible for another irresponsible family member?

My view on Thai family: its the gf/wife's problem. She can tell me about a problem if she wants, but I really don't want to know and its up to her to resolve it with her own resources. Look at this way: would they financially bail you out if you had a problem; answer is certainly 99% no since you will never truly become 'family'.

I won't let anyone drive my pickup when I am away and I make it very clear that its 'mine' and not to used by anyone. The battery gets disconnected and fuses/relays get removed so the only way to move it is my towing it away. I also have a Carryboy 3 lock, which prevents the brake and clutch from being used.

I also make the point: no one helps me financially when my finances run down; I have to go back to my home country to work. Thus, why should I support the gf/wife's family? If they want something they can go and get a job and work for it like I have to! No free meal ticket from me.

[Maigo6]

My view on Thai family: its the gf/wife's problem. She can tell me about a problem if she wants, but I really don't want to know and its up to her to resolve it with her own resources. Look at this way: would they financially bail you out if you had a problem; answer is certainly 99% no since you will never truly become 'family'.

I bet your wife loves to show you off around the village...........

You guys wonder why you get ripped off, attitudes like this are a very major reason, and rightly so.

You think you are doing the Thai girl a favour by marrying her, yet you don't wanna have f-all to do with her family, a thing that is very important to her !

I know Family means nothing in the western world, but in Thailand it's different.

So as far as your views go............

You're way off base.

[tuky]

My view on Thai family: its the gf/wife's problem. She can tell me about a problem if she wants, but I really don't want to know and its up to her to resolve it with her own resources. Look at this way: would they financially bail you out if you had a problem; answer is certainly 99% no since you will never truly become 'family'.

I bet your wife loves to show you off around the village...........

You guys wonder why you get ripped off, attitudes like this are a very major reason, and rightly so.

You think you are doing the Thai girl a favour by marrying her, yet you don't wanna have f-all to do with her family, a thing that is very important to her !

I know Family means nothing in the western world, but in Thailand it's different.

So as far as your views go............

You're way off base.

I hear you Maigo6, but some folks have developed this attitude because the girl they love(d) let her family walk all over them. In any marriage the wife needs to keep her family in check as does the husband. But in quite a few circumstances when the wifes family is more important than the wifes new family (ie husband) then before he realises what is going on he has lost control and lost his money.

I am going through this right now myself, I made a phone call last night to find out why the people renting my houses are not paying their rent, the answer I got was that the rent is going into my MiL bank account.

Now how can you remain positive in these circumstances? FiL crashes car that he shouldn't be driving, MiL comandeers rental income, everyone thinks it is normal???

[dr_Pat_Pong]

My view on Thai family: its the gf/wife's problem. She can tell me about a problem if she wants, but I really don't want to know and its up to her to resolve it with her own resources. Look at this way: would they financially bail you out if you had a problem; answer is certainly 99% no since you will never truly become 'family'.

I bet your wife loves to show you off around the village...........

You guys wonder why you get ripped off, attitudes like this are a very major reason, and rightly so.

You think you are doing the Thai girl a favour by marrying her, yet you don't wanna have f-all to do with her family, a thing that is very important to her !

I know Family means nothing in the western world, but in Thailand it's different.

So as far as your views go............

You're way off base.

I hear you Maigo6, but some folks have developed this attitude because the girl they love(d) let her family walk all over them. In any marriage the wife needs to keep her family in check as does the husband. But in quite a few circumstances when the wifes family is more important than the wifes new family (ie husband) then before he realises what is going on he has lost control and lost his money.

I am going through this right now myself, I made a phone call last night to find out why the people renting my houses are not paying their rent, the answer I got was that the rent is going into my MiL bank account.

Now how can you remain positive in these circumstances? FiL crashes car that he shouldn't be driving, MiL comandeers rental income, everyone thinks it is normal???

Tell the 'outlaws' to get knotted Tuky. Dad sorts the motor and you get a rental agent to collect the rents and bank the money in your account.

[indothai]

My view on Thai family: its the gf/wife's problem. She can tell me about a problem if she wants, but I really don't want to know and its up to her to resolve it with her own resources. Look at this way: would they financially bail you out if you had a problem; answer is certainly 99% no since you will never truly become 'family'.

I bet your wife loves to show you off around the village...........

You guys wonder why you get ripped off, attitudes like this are a very major reason, and rightly so.

You think you are doing the Thai girl a favour by marrying her, yet you don't wanna have f-all to do with her family, a thing that is very important to her !

I know Family means nothing in the western world, but in Thailand it's different.

So as far as your views go............

You're way off base.

I hear you Maigo6, but some folks have developed this attitude because the girl they love(d) let her family walk all over them. In any marriage the wife needs to keep her family in check as does the husband. But in quite a few circumstances when the wifes family is more important than the wifes new family (ie husband) then before he realises what is going on he has lost control and lost his money.

I am going through this right now myself, I made a phone call last night to find out why the people renting my houses are not paying their rent, the answer I got was that the rent is going into my MiL bank account.

Now how can you remain positive in these circumstances? FiL crashes car that he shouldn't be driving, MiL comandeers rental income, everyone thinks it is normal???

Let's not pretend that we all know your true situation... I think we are all generalizing, guessing, and just throwing around "quick" fixes to your complex situation.

That said, remove culture and nationality from this conversation and ask yourself what are the obligations of a husband and wife and in-laws.

Based on what you are discribing about your FiL/MiL, it seems that they infact are taking you for a ride. I am asian, and even I find your FiL/MiL actions appalling, but I don't know them and I don't know your true situation.

Quick dirty test, to see if they care about you: Ask for help that is not money related, but make it difficult, something that requires research/thinking/planning. There is no right or wrong answer to this, their answer(s) will give you a clue to what they think about you.

Hope it all works out for you.

[sriracha john]

Sorry to hear about your latest incidents, tuky....

I'm reminded of Frank Zappa's lyrics...

The torture never stops

The torture

The torture

The torture never stops.

Keep your chin up and best of luck that this all gets resolved amicably...

[ballbreaker]

I think its time you start cutting the wife's budget to pay for all the costly adventures of her family. Maybe then things will change or you will finally find out where you stand in the big picture.

[Kerryd]

I think its time you start cutting the wife's budget to pay for all the costly adventures of her family. Maybe then things will change or you will finally find out where you stand in the big picture.

Just make sure you are wearing your kevlar vest when you do it, and sleep with one eye open afterwards !

[stingray]

Never buy a new car, or if you do so buy it on down payment in "her" name. So what ever happen it is not your problem. She haves the responsibility and you can always "walk out". I reccoment to anyone buy a old junk. Junk car are much stronger than new plasic cars and nobody would borrow or steal it, or nobody would considert go "gambling" with it. I recommend: Keep the Families away. They only love our money. I' m married too, but i NEVER EVER saw "her" Family. I asked "her" in the beginn: "How could i love your family when i not even like my family? Cut the family out from the begin and you never have any troubles. Stay away from any families. Once you are a good man and you give your liitle finger, they want your whole arm. If the family is stronger and have more power than you, so let her go. There are to many choices overhere to find someone again.

[tuky]

"How could i love your family when i not even like my family?

That sounds very familiar.

I have mentioned that in the past, "I had to leave Australia to get away from my family, why the heck do I want to get caught up in another one"

[torrenova]

Whilst I sympathise I would not let the little shit get his grubby hands on a satang or anything worth a satang after his Cambodia trip. In fact, I'd have been likely to have him locked up for that first one.

This is not the only country in the world you know yet time and time again the westerner gets fuc_ked over and comes back for more just because some ****obscenities removed**** is servicing his ego.

The only situation where you cannot walk away is where some of the family is your physical flesh and blood. Anything else, either get them onside or fuc_k them off. FiL needs some serious arse kicking or jail time here.

[dotcom]

Time to send wifey home to sort things out.

Give her a laundry list of stuff you want done. The wrecked car needs to be sold & the money banked.

You know what to do about the rental property.

[torrenova]

Time to send wifey home to sort things out.

Give her a laundry list of stuff you want done. The wrecked car needs to be sold & the money banked.

You know what to do about the rental property.

Not that bad advice in the circumstances. The old waster will obviously just smash it up again if he gets his grubby paws on it after it is fixed and if you leave it lying around knackered it will just get beyond repair.

Glad my FiL went to meet his maker before I came on the scene as I understand he was a bit of a no good piece of crap who was pissed all the time.

[BlackArtemis]

Wait, so your 1 car was stolen and sold off, and you left a second one lying around for the deadbeat?

I heard the story a little different, on the same night of the accident the family buffalo got sick and needs 40,000 for medicine...