Exploding The Myth

[Riley'sLife]

I was brought up "proper", in England! My parents always insisted that I behave with correct manners and consideration towards other people at all times.

One day, however, I was entering a Department Store and held open the door for two middle aged ladies who walked past me and through the doorway, like I wasn't even there. No acknowledgement, smile, eye contact, let alone a "thank you". My father, who was immediately behind me, saw the amazement on my face as these two women passed him too on their way out. With me still holding the door open, my father asked them, (in the loadest voice I had ever heard him use) "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?"

The two momen stopped dead in their tracks, and said "We didn't say anything"

My father said, "Oh, I thought you said "thank you" to the young man that opened the door for you!"

[tuky]

Happened to me at MBK.

We ended up using the escalator with our baby in her pram because we couldn't get into a lift.

Obviously if we parked the pram directly infront of the lift doors people inside would not be able to get out, so we stayed off to one side, this allowed others opportunity to push in front of us and fill the lift car before we could get in.

We got pushed out of 4 or 5 lifts before we finally gave up and used the escalator (very dangerous).

It was quite disappointing but a great reminder or why we do not live in a big city.

My earlier post sharing my experiences.

Well Im always of the opinion that anyone with a baby stroller chose to have the baby and thery made that decision not me so why should I stand . Selfish maybe.

Nice one.

No 'maybe selfish' about it...... Definitely I would say.

Sad to see that this kind of attitude is not only alive and kicking, but also endorsed by another poster above!

Certainly no endorsement there. Sarcastic way of saying exactly what you said is what I see.

[Heng]

I was brought up "proper", in England! My parents always insisted that I behave with correct manners and consideration towards other people at all times.

One day, however, I was entering a Department Store and held open the door for two middle aged ladies who walked past me and through the doorway, like I wasn't even there. No acknowledgement, smile, eye contact, let alone a "thank you". My father, who was immediately behind me, saw the amazement on my face as these two women passed him too on their way out. With me still holding the door open, my father asked them, (in the loadest voice I had ever heard him use) "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?"

The two momen stopped dead in their tracks, and said "We didn't say anything"

My father said, "Oh, I thought you said "thank you" to the young man that opened the door for you!"

Maybe they thought you were a con artist? Like those "polite" guys at a lot of international airports (especially in the US)... JFK, LAX, SEA-TAC, etc. who come up to shake your hand and then try to get you to buy something or donate to their Christian ministry.

[Andiamo]

Happened to me at MBK.

We ended up using the escalator with our baby in her pram because we couldn't get into a lift.

Obviously if we parked the pram directly infront of the lift doors people inside would not be able to get out, so we stayed off to one side, this allowed others opportunity to push in front of us and fill the lift car before we could get in.

We got pushed out of 4 or 5 lifts before we finally gave up and used the escalator (very dangerous).

It was quite disappointing but a great reminder or why we do not live in a big city.

My earlier post sharing my experiences.

Well Im always of the opinion that anyone with a baby stroller chose to have the baby and thery made that decision not me so why should I stand . Selfish maybe.

Nice one.

No 'maybe selfish' about it...... Definitely I would say.

Sad to see that this kind of attitude is not only alive and kicking, but also endorsed by another poster above!

Certainly no endorsement there. Sarcastic way of saying exactly what you said is what I see.

Hi Tuky,

Sorry didn't realise you were being sarcastic there!

Andiamo

[bina]

then explain why my issaan thai husband is always having to wait for the next bus cause he wont use his elbows to push on to the bus on crowded days (sunday mornings everyone going back to army bases etc so have kit bags ), every thrusday nite people comeing back home from school/trip/ etc, with kit bags.... all the little old ladies with their wagons filled with produce from the market, they all use their elbows. my thai husband just stands aside and waits, and then of course, there is standing room only, or bus is packed and has he has to wait for the next one. he just called to say there's like 50 people waiting for the bus he needs. i told him to push ahead in line and just get on the bus... never mind all the other folks. let them wait.

when i came here twenty years ago, i also would wait on line thats how we knew people were from england or the states. now, i rush forward with bus pass in hand, and use my elbows as well. and trust me, i managed to do it with three babies also. and then there's the time that some guy stood up for my best friend thinking she was pregnant. boy was she p.od' (she was just very overweight at the time)...

here, if u let one little old lady or woman with baby or whatever , get ahead of u, everyone else just surges forward and then u miss out on getting on the bus.

doors? forget it. no one here except for the male russians hold doors open for anyone.

parking in handicapped. everyone does it. including the police.

escalators? people just shove past u

elavators? people with six kids and a carriage will shove themselves in to an full elevator, without just waiting one cycle.

the only time people dont shove is at the centarl bus stations when going thru the metal detectors and bags are being searched etc. probably cause of all the soldiers and police standing around. anyone making any commotion might be treated as suspicious and/or potential terrorist material and get shot. works wonders. even on thursday evenings when every is anxious to get home, people wait in line (outside, in rain, sun, etc).

and its all not in thailand.

make u feel better. btw, it follows that this same behavior of course shows up on the roads too....

bina

israel

[cobra]

Not far off topic:

The sky train cluster f...,

People getting on while others are trying to get off,

Admittedly Japan has raised it to an art form, complete with a packer who insures maximum density,

Edited June 26, 2008 by cobra

[thaihome]

Manners or etiquette is a cultural thing, what is considered good manners in one culture may not be in another. In Asia, there is no cultural requirement for what is considered in the west good manners to be displayed to strangers. In the OP example, if one of the people on the elevator had known the woman in the wheelchair they would have pushed their way off (strangers, so there is no need to say excuse me) in order to make room for her.

Another example is the western etiquette to allow women to go through a door first. In Asia, seniority overrules that requirement. I get a good laugh when I watch a 50 something senior expat in our office holding the door open for one of our very junior female secretaries. The poor girl is extremely confused by his behavior. She is wondering what the hel_l is he doing and is not sure how to react as it goes against everything she was raised on how to behave.

TH

[bkkjames]

Manners or etiquette is a cultural thing, what is considered good manners in one culture may not be in another. In Asia, there is no cultural requirement for what is considered in the west good manners to be displayed to strangers. In the OP example, if one of the people on the elevator had known the woman in the wheelchair they would have pushed their way off (strangers, so there is no need to say excuse me) in order to make room for her.

Another example is the western etiquette to allow women to go through a door first. In Asia, seniority overrules that requirement. I get a good laugh when I watch a 50 something senior expat in our office holding the door open for one of our very junior female secretaries. The poor girl is extremely confused by his behavior. She is wondering what the hel_l is he doing and is not sure how to react as it goes against everything she was raised on how to behave.

TH

Must be a b@tch for a Thai office girl to be actually treated like a lady. But in all likelyhood the 50 year expat just wanted to look at her fanny.

[Jimjim]

I think that in a huge city, selfishness reigns and manners get left by the wayside due to necessity and Bangkok is no different. If you want to see real Thai manners, go live in a more rural area. Out there I don't know what you'll find.

[roygsd]

Just a little rant really. I was at a shopping mall at the weekend and waiting for the elevator. Waiting with me was a woman in a wheelchair, and a family with a baby in a push chair. When the elevator arrived it was packed with able bodied thais. Obviously or maybe this is just me...I expected a few people to get off and use the escalators which wouldn't have required much effort, but which were quite unusable for the lady in the chair and best avoided by the family with push chair. But no!!!! The occupants all just stared at them and waited for the door to close.

Land of smiles and courtesy, manners etc etc ??????!!!!!! how about unbridled laziness!!!!!

Unimpressed!!!

BTW I've since seen this a number of times now.

Equalty = wait for the next lift

roy gsd