Testing Your Thai Lady

[excaliber]

jeez. im glad im not a bloke. going through life with these terrible women who you cant trust and have to constantly test must really suck.

....and how many "blokes" reading and participating in this forum have a bad taste left in their mouth from western women...why a Thai woman instead of a western woman? I can give you no less than 100 reasons...

"I prefer Thai women because" , unlike western women, most Thai women are smaller than me (I'm 93kg).

, They have more respect for their family, they don't put their parents in retirement homes, etc., etc....

Feel free to add to the list....

In fact, I'm making a new thread:

"I prefer Thai women over western women because":........

Edited June 26, 2008 by excaliber

[Dave the Dude]

Love at first sight doesn't exist. Those who think it does exist are confusing lust with love. You should have a long relationship before you decide to get married. You can't possibly get to know a person in a month or even several months. I never felt any need to "test" my wife. If I didn't trust her, I wouldn't have married her.

I beg to differ, cuz im still looking for the one with the glass slipper, so that girl will be my Cinderella

I'm with Gary on this one . The day I 'test' my wife is the day I drive away into the Sunset!

Unlike RakJungTorlae, I dont believe in Fairytales, only commonsense

Dave

[MSingh]

My advice would be not to listen to a lot of the advice given on this thread !!

[bonobo]

Open a bank account in her name, put $2000 or close in the bank, leave the country for 2 weeks, tell her she can use the money if she needs it, the first time i did it she spent the lot and asked for more,( finished straight away ) the second time ( different girl ) she spent 1500 baht on something for me, ,i married her and seven years on a and a 5 year old daughter later we are still in love, shes my best mate and i wouldnt change her for anything,. luck ? maybe, but it worked for me,.good luck to you,.

Are you f***ing serious? The test is (possibly) going to cost you $2000? You must have more money than sense my friend.

Sounds a lot cheaper in the long term!

Agree. If you are serious about her, that is little enough to spend to find out about her. I am sure imanegspurt is happy he did and has a lovely family as a result.

On the other hand, I also understand what posters are saying about "testing." I have had girls test me, and it has gotten me riled. But like a prenuptual agreement, while not the most romantic thing, sometimes it is better to have one than do without.

[MaximumSecurity]

There is a program called e-blaster which can be installed on your lady's computer after which you will get email reports of everything she types on her computer. This will give you her email accounts, their passwords and access to all stored emails, social networking sites she visits, her passwords and messags she has sent and received, her bank accounts if she does online banking.

You can also get buy her TOT, AIS or Dtac phone records for all outoging calls and SMSs; bank account details; credit check; list of legal dependants; criminal records, from any number of private investigators in Thailand. You can even have her followed to see who she is spending her time (and your money) with.

[siamamerican]

It's easier to spot the farangs that are apt to be scammed. They are desperate for love and spend little time building a foundation. Most TG scammers are looking to turn a quick buck and aren't capable of investing time into building a relationship. Why would they waste their time, when there are 10 farangs at the local bar that are all too willing to try their hand at buying their love.

In my younger days, I met many Thais that were after money and most weren't cons. It was a business transaction to them. They were selling themselves at the highest price possible; maybe a few times each night. Not the ideal situation to begin a successful relationship.

In lieu of asking how to spot cons, why not ask yourself if you're capable of investing the time to get to know the girl you're dating. A week in a 5 star hotel in Phuket isn't enough. Invest the time and with any luck you should be able to answer the question yourself.

[donna]

jeez. im glad im not a bloke. going through life with these terrible women who you cant trust and have to constantly test must really suck.

....and how many "blokes" reading and participating in this forum have a bad taste left in their mouth from western women...why a Thai woman instead of a western woman? I can give you no less than 100 reasons...

"I prefer Thai women because" , unlike western women, most Thai women are smaller than me (I'm 93kg).

, They have more respect for their family, they don't put their parents in retirement homes, etc., etc....

Feel free to add to the list....

In fact, I'm making a new thread:

"I prefer Thai women over western women because":........

woah there buddy.

my comment was not made to spark off a debate thai vs western women. it was made very tongue in cheek (thus the smiley). i can easily come up with comments to counter-attack yours but as i am a moderator here i will refrain from doing so.

the thread that you would like has been done many times before, but has been closed due to this rule:

3) Religious or racial slurs, rude and degrading comments towards women, or extremely negative views of Thailand will not be tolerated.

remember: your mother and your sisters are western too.

[excaliber]

3) Religious or racial slurs, rude and degrading comments towards women, or extremely negative views of Thailand will not be tolerated.

remember: your mother and your sisters are western too.

It appears I've hit a sensitive note ! What about rude and degrading comments towards men? and this post has little if anything to do with my mother who has long passed on and sisters of whom i have none.

My post was simply meant to reveal the differences between Thai women and western women but it appears you've read it wrong...but nevermind....most of the men reading this understand...

[garro]

jeez. im glad im not a bloke. going through life with these terrible women who you cant trust and have to constantly test must really suck.

....and how many "blokes" reading and participating in this forum have a bad taste left in their mouth from western women...why a Thai woman instead of a western woman? I can give you no less than 100 reasons...

"I prefer Thai women because" , unlike western women, most Thai women are smaller than me (I'm 93kg).

, They have more respect for their family, they don't put their parents in retirement homes, etc., etc....

Feel free to add to the list....

In fact, I'm making a new thread:

"I prefer Thai women over western women because":........

woah there buddy.

my comment was not made to spark off a debate thai vs western women. it was made very tongue in cheek (thus the smiley). i can easily come up with comments to counter-attack yours but as i am a moderator here i will refrain from doing so.

the thread that you would like has been done many times before, but has been closed due to this rule:

3) Religious or racial slurs, rude and degrading comments towards women, or extremely negative views of Thailand will not be tolerated.

remember: your mother and your sisters are western too.

I always think that it sounds so childish when somebody makes anti-western women/men comments. The equivalent of taking your ball back when you were ten. I think that the bit of attention that western men get from Thai women can go to our heads and we can suddenly begin fooling ourselves that it wasn't us who was the problem.

[bratpack]

I think long distance relationships creat this problem of mistrust too.You only have to talk to some of the girls to realise they do not think its a relationship even though the guy does.I would never ever have a relationship if i didnt live here and probably would never do this in the uk too.

[donna]

my post was not critical of western men at all. it was also not critical of thai women. if you read it, you will see that i said:

jeez. im glad im not a bloke. going through life with these terrible women who you cant trust and have to constantly test must really suck

if you want me to translate, it means that many men live with these women but are still suspicious of them. i just dont understand why you would want to live with a woman (whatever nationality) that you really dont trust.

isnt there more to life than that? isnt it better to be happy and trusting than to be miserable and suspicious?

[excaliber]

My advice would be not to listen to a lot of the advice given on this thread !!

This is the best 'advice' I've read on this forum

[excaliber]

my post was not critical of western men at all. it was also not critical of thai women. if you read it, you will see that i said:

jeez. im glad im not a bloke. going through life with these terrible women who you cant trust and have to constantly test must really suck

if you want me to translate, it means that many men live with these women but are still suspicious of them. i just dont understand why you would want to live with a woman (whatever nationality) that you really dont trust.

isnt there more to life than that? isnt it better to be happy and trusting than to be miserable and suspicious?

Agreed.....

[bonobo]

I always think that it sounds so childish when somebody makes anti-western women/men comments. The equivalent of taking your ball back when you were ten. I think that the bit of attention that western men get from Thai women can go to our heads and we can suddenly begin fooling ourselves that it wasn't us who was the problem.

I remember reading an article on "Mail Order" Russian brides. One guy was asked why he was going on a love tour to Russia, and he said because American women were horrible, money-hungry etc., etc, etc, and that Filipinas were the same. He than added that he knew this because he had been married to 4 Americans and 2 Fiipinas, and had to divorce them all because they were all so bad.

Since he obviously was not at fault, I am sure he found happiness in that perfect Russian woman.

[donna]

glad we agree excaliber. can we kiss and make up now?

[excaliber]

I always think that it sounds so childish when somebody makes anti-western women/men comments. The equivalent of taking your ball back when you were ten. I think that the bit of attention that western men get from Thai women can go to our heads and we can suddenly begin fooling ourselves that it wasn't us who was the problem.

I remember reading an article on "Mail Order" Russian brides. One guy was asked why he was going on a love tour to Russia, and he said because American women were horrible, money-hungry etc., etc, etc, and that Filipinas were the same. He than added that he knew this because he had been married to 4 Americans and 2 Fiipinas, and had to divorce them all because they were all so bad.

Since he obviously was not at fault, I am sure he found happiness in that perfect Russian woman.

I guess this must include all of us who are happily married to Thai women without a trail of unhappy western marriages ?

[madjbs]

Love at first sight doesn't exist. Those who think it does exist are confusing lust with love. You should have a long relationship before you decide to get married. You can't possibly get to know a person in a month or even several months. I never felt any need to "test" my wife. If I didn't trust her, I wouldn't have married her.

Spot on there Gary

There is a program called e-blaster which can be installed on your lady's computer after which you will get email reports of everything she types on her computer. This will give you her email accounts, their passwords and access to all stored emails, social networking sites she visits, her passwords and messags she has sent and received, her bank accounts if she does online banking.

You can also get buy her TOT, AIS or Dtac phone records for all outoging calls and SMSs; bank account details; credit check; list of legal dependants; criminal records, from any number of private investigators in Thailand. You can even have her followed to see who she is spending her time (and your money) with.

If you think this is acceptable then one would hope you wouldn't mind your girlfriend doing the same to you. Doing this kind of thing behind a persons back just shows you are not the kind of person who deserves to be in a trusting relationship anyway.

It's great to think about the quality of girls that farangs must pick up here if they feel the need to devise all these silly little tests etc... In my experience most of these guys get exactly the kind of partner they deserve anyway, people on the same level of the social ladder.

[excaliber]

glad we agree excaliber. can we kiss and make up now?

ok by me, let me ask the mrs.... about the kissing

In all honesty, Donna, you're absolutly right and anyone (man or woman) who's without trust & acceptance should move on....until they do have it....

I've been with the same (Thai) lady for 14 years and we live with trust & freedom....meaning...neither one of us own one another (we're not married) and free to explore however we need. I have to admit, I've played around (one nighters) several times over the years and it hasn't affected our 'best-friend' relationship....if I lived in fear of losing 'it' to the dogs, I would move on...

Edited June 26, 2008 by excaliber

[lardy]

First time i came I chatted to about 4 girls on the net before arriving, one said i could put my cash in her bank account whilst i was here (approx £1000), she knew i was going to see the other 3 girls during my stay and new I was looking for a girlfriend. She never touched it and she even said i could stay in her condo if i wanted even if I had chosen another girl.

Why not leave it in your own bank account and withdraw it at the ATM, or keep it in your pocket, or hidden in your hotel room, that has to be the most stupid thing ive ever heard anyone own upto in my life.

Each to their own but youve just described one bizarre situation.

OK heres a more bizzarre one, I had lived with a girl in the uk for 15 years we split up no one else involved and after this I met my wife on the internet (Thai), I had never been married before, my wife came back over here and we stayed at my ex's house for 2 months and I now live back with my ex and I go back and forth to Thailand every 5 months staying for 2.5 months each time. I often go out wth my ex to cinemas etc etc and my wife and my ex get on great sending birthday cards etc etc.

You have to make the judgements baed on your knowledge of the persons involved, I deemed my wife trustworthy and honest before she was my wife and hence the money went in her account. I even went to Dubai with my ex after I had married my wife (won a competition) and stayed in the same hotel room and chatted on msn using webcams from the Hotel we were staying in. My wife often asks how she is.

Its called trust and if you aint got it you aint got diddly squat

[jayjayjayjay]

jeez. im glad im not a bloke. going through life with these terrible women who you cant trust and have to constantly test must really suck.

It's just the caveman in us! While out hunting we gotta sneak home unexpectedly, never know when young nimble cousin Johnnie is going to pay your wife a romantic visit! Rules of the Jungle still apply today! Trust is best but blind faith is just that, "blind".

[Boo]

excalibur, nothing in donnas post was an invitation for you start making your comparisons so suggest you keep your issues off this forum.

[excaliber]

excalibur, nothing in donnas post was an invitation for you start making your comparisons so suggest you keep your issues off this forum.

Oh, now it takes an "invitation" to reply to a post? and issues aren't welcome either?.....sounds like you're the one with the issues but because you're a moderator it's ok?....if you read the subsequent posts, there are no more issues except perhaps the ones you have.

Edited June 26, 2008 by excaliber

[Boo]

if you are unable to understand my words maybe i can get one of our male moderators to explain it to you again? Please let me know if that will be necessary as i would like it to be very clear to you or anyone else who may wish to post something similar.

[intumult]

I do appreciate that these things happen but I am also certain there are many more successful marriages than unsuccessful and more farangs living happily with their Thai ladies than there are failures of marriages.

hrmm, debatable for sure.

Have to agree with girlx on that.

And that is going by what I have heard from divorced/separated Thai ladies (if you count living together and then parting as a separation/divorce).

On topic.

If she lies, you know you have a problem and I really think Thai's cannot remember the lies they tell for very long so give a different account days later.

Edited June 26, 2008 by intumult

[RakJungTorlae]

Love at first sight doesn't exist. Those who think it does exist are confusing lust with love. You should have a long relationship before you decide to get married. You can't possibly get to know a person in a month or even several months. I never felt any need to "test" my wife. If I didn't trust her, I wouldn't have married her.

I beg to differ, cuz im still looking for the one with the glass slipper, so that girl will be my Cinderella

I'm with Gary on this one . The day I 'test' my wife is the day I drive away into the Sunset!

Unlike RakJungTorlae, I dont believe in Fairytales, only commonsense

Dave

I lost all my commonsense after I read a lot of posting on this forum.

[banyahorn]

ill give it to you in 3 words

money, money and money.

from the very beginning

tell her you have no money

then see which way she turns

or if later on in the relationship

tell her youve run dry

then watch for -

the trips home

the phone calls

the long discussions with friends

the change in attitude

no money no honey = theres your answer

no money but honey = must be true love

[ilyushin]

The ultimate test is get married.

[BSJ]

banyahorn: ill give it to you in 3 words

money, money and money.

from the very beginning

tell her you have no money

then see which way she turns

or if later on in the relationship

tell her youve run dry

then watch for -

the trips home

the phone calls

the long discussions with friends

the change in attitude

no money no honey = theres your answer

no money but honey = must be true love

Thats about the strength of it! Marriage is just a sideshow!

I get sick of hearing the love sick puppies crying about their GF leaving them. There was no GF, you had a financial arrangement with a woman for sex! Go do another deal!

Edited June 26, 2008 by BSJ

[Furbie]

Putting aside girlx's wellknown and (given her stories of her experiences here) understandable cynicism, if foreign men put the same level of thought and effort into winning their potential wife here as they did back home, the success rates would be much higher.

Let's face it - most white men here are lazy and have it easy. Getting a girl is like falling off a log. If you decide to marry anyone who wantonly throws themselves at you when you instinctively know it's not the Thai way, you can't expect a marriage to succeed.

If, on the other hand, you take the sensible approach to actually work to win over your potential mate, take trouble with her, get to know her and go through the tough times as well as the good, it's much more likely to succeed.

I know on which side of the fence I prefer to sit

Jesus; I agree with bendix.

[Furbie]

you shouldn't be overly paranoid, for one thing. but some signs are- poor family, speaks good english, happily takes money when offered (or even outright asks for it) and doesn't pay it back, drinks/smokes/gambles a lot, has a "brother" hanging around all the time... i am sure many of the men on here can contribute.

I never saw one (woman) here in 4 years, that did not ask for or expect money and I am NOT talking about women I found in bars & massage joints,etc. Most, if not all, of my Farang friends have had the same experience, whether married or single, young or old. Money is the operative element here in relationships. It goes with the territory. If you want to test it, just decline requests for money and see how long she stays around.

To my recollection, in the last three years I have dated four women (not including women who I just had one or two dates with); not one, I repeat NOT ONE, asked for money in any way shape or form, unless you include paying for the meal/movie, etc. Of the ones I dated once or twice, not one asked for money.

Now, of the girls I dated before this three year period, all asked for money, every single one. The difference, three years ago I started to date only professional women - and I don't mean just someone working in an office answering phones, I mean business professionals. And surprise, my two closest friends have GFs that have never asked for anything - in one case the GF makes more than my friend.

There's a whole other Thailand out there it seems most people will never see. A place where women have careers, have good families and are not looking for anything more than a lasting committed relationship. As bendix said, most are just too lazy and wind up with a certain class of women, or the next step up. To each his own.