Testing Your Thai Lady

[AlexLah]

Ok all, let me give you some very good advice.

From the beginning you meet that precious one, there are a few things you need to do:

1. Tell, you not have big money (Make sure you have two bank accounts and show the bank book with just a few thousand Baht a month deposited).

2. Tell, you do not have the money for a big nice Hi So wedding party (Again show bank book).

3. Tell, you are not able to provide a monthly allowance to her (Show bank book).

4. Tell, her you are not able to support the family (Show bank book)

5. Tell, her you do not have the money to buy a house (Show bank book).

6. Tell, her you cannot buy that Toyota Fortuner she wants so much (Show bank book).

7. Keep your other ATM card where she cannot find it as well as your credit cards.

8. Keep your salary slips at your office where she cannot find it.

9. Make sure bank statements are send to your office adress or country of origin.

10. Do not go shopping in the high end malls, for your regular clothes, stick to outside markets.

11. Nice suits, ties and shirts you buy yourself alone and hide them at your office or another place where the girl has no entrance.

12. Park your high end car at the nearest Tesco, Carrefour whatever, and make sure the partner see that you step into a taxi or public transport each morning.

13. Hide your car keys!!!! (Not in the place you stay).

14. If you like to drink alcohol, don't do it at home (Remember you need to give the impression that you only have small money, tell your friend took you out).

15. Do not go to Tesco/Carrefour to buy your food. Go to the local market (Talaat) and let the partner buy (Cheaper).

If after all this, and a few years later she is still with you, you might consider to stay with her.

But please follow above guidelines for at least another 5 years.

Edited June 27, 2008 by AlexLah

[keestha]

Take no chances! If you fancy a Thai lady, first have her checked by a private investigator. If the result is satisfactory, make it a condition that before the first date she has to submit to an interrogation by a competent professional such as a psychologist.

You cant be careful enough out there.

[Gary A]

Take no chances! If you fancy a Thai lady, first have her checked by a private investigator. If the result is satisfactory, make it a condition that before the first date she has to submit to an interrogation by a competent professional such as a psychologist.

You cant be careful enough out there.

Sounds like you're buying a used car. I've done a lot of stupid things in my long life. My Thai wife has managed to overlook all of them. Maybe it would be a good idea if Thai women would have their farang boyfriends investigated.

It is quite common for scumbag farang men to VASTLY exaggerate their worth both in money terms and character terms. Once they have scammed a lady, they move on and brag about their conquest.

Disgusting people are simply disgusting whether they are men or women.

[RakJungTorlae]

Take no chances! If you fancy a Thai lady, first have her checked by a private investigator. If the result is satisfactory, make it a condition that before the first date she has to submit to an interrogation by a competent professional such as a psychologist.

You cant be careful enough out there.

Sounds like you're buying a used car. I've done a lot of stupid things in my long life. My Thai wife has managed to overlook all of them. Maybe it would be a good idea if Thai women would have their farang boyfriends investigated.

It is quite common for scumbag farang men to VASTLY exaggerate their worth both in money terms and character terms. Once they have scammed a lady, they move on and brag about their conquest.

Disgusting people are simply disgusting whether they are men or women.

I’m surprised this topic is still going. There are a few Thai who come and read thou here. It’s a really disrespectful topic. Spying, email login, <deleted>

[GuestHouse]

The whole concept of this thread is rather curious, 'Testing Your Thai Lady' - I've never heard such doubts and suspicion directed towards, for instance, 'Testing Your Italian/Frenc/Dutch.... Lady'.

So what's going on here and is this thread revealing something that is otherwise denied?

[Shotime]

you shouldn't be overly paranoid, for one thing. but some signs are- poor family, speaks good english, happily takes money when offered (or even outright asks for it) and doesn't pay it back, drinks/smokes/gambles a lot, has a "brother" hanging around all the time... i am sure many of the men on here can contribute.

I never saw one (woman) here in 4 years, that did not ask for or expect money and I am NOT talking about women I found in bars & massage joints,etc. Most, if not all, of my Farang friends have had the same experience, whether married or single, young or old. Money is the operative element here in relationships. It goes with the territory. If you want to test it, just decline requests for money and see how long she stays around.

To my recollection, in the last three years I have dated four women (not including women who I just had one or two dates with); not one, I repeat NOT ONE, asked for money in any way shape or form, unless you include paying for the meal/movie, etc. Of the ones I dated once or twice, not one asked for money.

Now, of the girls I dated before this three year period, all asked for money, every single one. The difference, three years ago I started to date only professional women - and I don't mean just someone working in an office answering phones, I mean business professionals. And surprise, my two closest friends have GFs that have never asked for anything - in one case the GF makes more than my friend.

There's a whole other Thailand out there it seems most people will never see. A place where women have careers, have good families and are not looking for anything more than a lasting committed relationship. As bendix said, most are just too lazy and wind up with a certain class of women, or the next step up. To each his own.

Of course. This is not meant in a cynical way, but a lot of women are in for a long-term relationship. It's not that difficult to know the difference, and it's not that different anywhere in the world. Long-term relationships have their own set of pitfalls.

And, you're right. If you take the word "Thai" out of the topic (I'm not too crazy about "testing," either. Trusting would have been a little better.), it's not quite as curious. I took it as a joke, at first. How is this thread revealing something that is otherwise denied? I'm in denial about a lot of things, and I'm a little stupid, too. The only thing I can think of is trust no one, especially on the internet, but I'm not in denial about that. Is it "you get what you pay for?" Enough coffee.

[robblok]

First thai gf i married and took her too holland. I found out later she was a scammer and it cost me dearly. But that did not mean i did not trust Thai girls anymore. Now i am happily married to an other one and living in Thailand. It just depends on the kind of girl you get and where you get her. I have seen many good girls that are all friends of her. But i think some guys who never been to thailand and have no experience at that time will fall for any girl.. I did the first time.

[siamamerican]

First thai gf i married and took her too holland. I found out later she was a scammer and it cost me dearly. But that did not mean i did not trust Thai girls anymore. Now i am happily married to an other one and living in Thailand. It just depends on the kind of girl you get and where you get her. I have seen many good girls that are all friends of her. But i think some guys who never been to thailand and have no experience at that time will fall for any girl.. I did the first time.

A lonely guy will fall for a woman of any nationality that gives them what they want. Give that guy a few years in Thailand and a couple failed relationships, he might not be as lonely and hence less likely to get taken advantage of by a TG. Sadly, I think many repeat their past failures and become cynical of Thai women instead of looking into why they keep getting burned. Stupid cliché but maybe it has some relevance – “if you play with fire you might get burned”.

[garro]

I always feel slightly ashamed to be associated with the typical western man in Thailand. They all too often seem whimpish, insecure, and jealous when it comes to women. Why are the men who come to Thailand so needy? I would imagine it is a big turn off to women. I had needy girlfriends in the past and it was a major passion killer.

GH is right and wrong. You don't often see these polls written by men about how to test their women. You do see them in woman's magazines though. I think that this is a sign that feminism has had the unfortunate side-effect of turn grown men into whimps.

Edited June 28, 2008 by garro

[a2396]

you shouldn't be overly paranoid, for one thing. but some signs are- poor family, speaks good english, happily takes money when offered (or even outright asks for it) and doesn't pay it back, drinks/smokes/gambles a lot, has a "brother" hanging around all the time... i am sure many of the men on here can contribute.

I never saw one (woman) here in 4 years, that did not ask for or expect money and I am NOT talking about women I found in bars & massage joints,etc. Most, if not all, of my Farang friends have had the same experience, whether married or single, young or old. Money is the operative element here in relationships. It goes with the territory. If you want to test it, just decline requests for money and see how long she stays around.

To my recollection, in the last three years I have dated four women (not including women who I just had one or two dates with); not one, I repeat NOT ONE, asked for money in any way shape or form, unless you include paying for the meal/movie, etc. Of the ones I dated once or twice, not one asked for money.

Now, of the girls I dated before this three year period, all asked for money, every single one. The difference, three years ago I started to date only professional women - and I don't mean just someone working in an office answering phones, I mean business professionals. And surprise, my two closest friends have GFs that have never asked for anything - in one case the GF makes more than my friend.

There's a whole other Thailand out there it seems most people will never see. A place where women have careers, have good families and are not looking for anything more than a lasting committed relationship. As bendix said, most are just too lazy and wind up with a certain class of women, or the next step up. To each his own.

What you say may be true, if you (the Farang) have access to and can mingle in an environment where such professional Thai women may be working. This means that you may be employed by some multi-national and may even be in some supervisory capacity and therefore "looked up to". For most foreign men, who are living here on a retirement visa and/or not working, they do not rub elbows with such women. The opportunities for such are also much less if you are living outside of Bangkok. The limited exposure I have had to such "high-so" women, through educational circles here, revealed to me they have little interest in any relationship with a foreigner, unless they are interested in living overseas and he (the man) might be of some assistance in such pursuit. It's not a matter of lazy or not. It's a matter of what circles you have the opportunity to mix in.

[a2396]

Putting aside girlx's wellknown and (given her stories of her experiences here) understandable cynicism, if foreign men put the same level of thought and effort into winning their potential wife here as they did back home, the success rates would be much higher.

Let's face it - most white men here are lazy and have it easy. Getting a girl is like falling off a log. If you decide to marry anyone who wantonly throws themselves at you when you instinctively know it's not the Thai way, you can't expect a marriage to succeed.

If, on the other hand, you take the sensible approach to actually work to win over your potential mate, take trouble with her, get to know her and go through the tough times as well as the good, it's much more likely to succeed.

I know on which side of the fence I prefer to sit

Jesus; I agree with bendix.

I believe Mr. Bendix, through his other postings and statements, is employed here and receives a gererous package of reimbursement as such. Not all foreigners living here enjoy such privelege.

[robblok]

First thai gf i married and took her too holland. I found out later she was a scammer and it cost me dearly. But that did not mean i did not trust Thai girls anymore. Now i am happily married to an other one and living in Thailand. It just depends on the kind of girl you get and where you get her. I have seen many good girls that are all friends of her. But i think some guys who never been to thailand and have no experience at that time will fall for any girl.. I did the first time.

A lonely guy will fall for a woman of any nationality that gives them what they want. Give that guy a few years in Thailand and a couple failed relationships, he might not be as lonely and hence less likely to get taken advantage of by a TG. Sadly, I think many repeat their past failures and become cynical of Thai women instead of looking into why they keep getting burned. Stupid cliché but maybe it has some relevance – “if you play with fire you might get burned”.

I think everyone can make a mistake once. But if you dont know Thai girls after that your just not that smart. Beautifull thai girls with guys twice their age usualy dont stay with the guy for love. There are some exceptions but not many. If you still want a super good looker be prepared to take the risks. On the other hand a normal average girl will be happy with you if you are close to her age and are also average. The same things here are valid as in europe if you want a trophy wife be prepared to pay for it. Guys just think too much with their other head.

My current wife is 8 years younger then me and we both look average. If your a handsome young guy and your with a beautifull thai girl chances are she loves you for your looks and not money. Those changes get slimmer if your a lot older and uglier then her. Face it thai girls are girls just like in europe they also like good looks but sometime sacrifice that need for money.

Before i get crucified here i say mostly there are always exceptions.

For the record i did not pick my first wife up in a bar she was a beautyshop owner near seacon square. She was 6 years older as me but looked nice, i just misjudged her grossly because of my limited experience in Thailand. When she lived with me in Holland things went real wrong. She had bad friends (other thai wifes who gossiped and exchanged ways of decieving their husbands) She spend money faster as i could earn it. And when went to work in a masage house against my wishes. That was when i decided to get divorced. I should have done that much earlier but the thing was i loved her 2 daughters so much and did not want to see them hurt. If they had not come to Holland i would have ended the mairriage long before the 4 years it took.

[Shotime]

Very well said. It's true everywhere. The exceptions depend on the person. I don't care if you're 90 with a 20 year old GF, anything's possible.

I do have one exception. "If your a handsome young guy and your with a beautifull thai girl chances are" at least one of you is gay.

[Zappadappa]

If your senses tell you that there is something wrong then I'd put money on it that there is more wrong than your senses can begin to imagine.

[Zappadappa]

oops double post

Edited June 29, 2008 by Zappadappa

[siamamerican]

I think everyone can make a mistake once. But if you dont know Thai girls after that your just not that smart. Beautifull thai girls with guys twice their age usualy dont stay with the guy for love. There are some exceptions but not many. If you still want a super good looker be prepared to take the risks. On the other hand a normal average girl will be happy with you if you are close to her age and are also average. The same things here are valid as in europe if you want a trophy wife be prepared to pay for it. Guys just think too much with their other head.

My current wife is 8 years younger then me and we both look average. If your a handsome young guy and your with a beautifull thai girl chances are she loves you for your looks and not money. Those changes get slimmer if your a lot older and uglier then her. Face it thai girls are girls just like in europe they also like good looks but sometime sacrifice that need for money.

I agree, we all make mistakes. Thailand can be emotionally dangerous for the desperate and they sometimes never learn. If you enter into a realtioship that is a bad match, then the other party may take advantage of the mismatch.

Now, if I was not nearly as attractive as my partner, I better have a lot of compensating factors. A great sense of humor isn't going to help if you don't speak the language, so what does she want that I might have - MONEY. It doesn't take a genious to figure this out, but it does take some self esteem to avoid taking the easy route and winning her over with cash.

[Shotime]

You never win if it's just money. I'm trying salvation just to see what happens. Forget attractive. I wont go out with my Thai Working Girlfriend. I'm too shy.

[siddv]

jeez. im glad im not a bloke. going through life with these terrible women who you cant trust and have to constantly test must really suck.

....and how many "blokes" reading and participating in this forum have a bad taste left in their mouth from western women...why a Thai woman instead of a western woman? I can give you no less than 100 reasons...

"I prefer Thai women because" , unlike western women, most Thai women are smaller than me (I'm 93kg).

, They have more respect for their family, they don't put their parents in retirement homes, etc., etc....

Feel free to add to the list....

In fact, I'm making a new thread:

"I prefer Thai women over western women because":........

They don't ask me what I'm thinking..and they have small asses....

That's about it!

[Furbie]

you shouldn't be overly paranoid, for one thing. but some signs are- poor family, speaks good english, happily takes money when offered (or even outright asks for it) and doesn't pay it back, drinks/smokes/gambles a lot, has a "brother" hanging around all the time... i am sure many of the men on here can contribute.

I never saw one (woman) here in 4 years, that did not ask for or expect money and I am NOT talking about women I found in bars & massage joints,etc. Most, if not all, of my Farang friends have had the same experience, whether married or single, young or old. Money is the operative element here in relationships. It goes with the territory. If you want to test it, just decline requests for money and see how long she stays around.

To my recollection, in the last three years I have dated four women (not including women who I just had one or two dates with); not one, I repeat NOT ONE, asked for money in any way shape or form, unless you include paying for the meal/movie, etc. Of the ones I dated once or twice, not one asked for money.

Now, of the girls I dated before this three year period, all asked for money, every single one. The difference, three years ago I started to date only professional women - and I don't mean just someone working in an office answering phones, I mean business professionals. And surprise, my two closest friends have GFs that have never asked for anything - in one case the GF makes more than my friend.

There's a whole other Thailand out there it seems most people will never see. A place where women have careers, have good families and are not looking for anything more than a lasting committed relationship. As bendix said, most are just too lazy and wind up with a certain class of women, or the next step up. To each his own.

What you say may be true, if you (the Farang) have access to and can mingle in an environment where such professional Thai women may be working. This means that you may be employed by some multi-national and may even be in some supervisory capacity and therefore "looked up to". For most foreign men, who are living here on a retirement visa and/or not working, they do not rub elbows with such women. The opportunities for such are also much less if you are living outside of Bangkok. The limited exposure I have had to such "high-so" women, through educational circles here, revealed to me they have little interest in any relationship with a foreigner, unless they are interested in living overseas and he (the man) might be of some assistance in such pursuit. It's not a matter of lazy or not. It's a matter of what circles you have the opportunity to mix in.

I will quickly respond to a few points.

1) the type of many you describe, retired, no professional associations here, will have trouble meeting young professional women anywhere in the world. So, they are looking at a different type of women - naturally, that type of women will be much more likely to be in it for the money. The west has gold diggers too, most simply can’t afford them. However, I would argue that any presentable man, regardless of age (within reason) can meet a decent, middle class girl looking for stability. One of my GFs friends who is around 30 with a mid-level office job is getting married to a westerner in his mid-50s who, in my opinion, is no great catch and is retired here. What amazed me is people are surprised at the behavior of these women - you should really just expect it.

2) yes, I have access to these women, but that does not automatically mean they will do things like introduce me to friends, etc. I had to build up a good deal of trust first.

3) I am not speaking of hi-so women, but rather successful middle class women who have pushed themselves through school and have enjoyed career success. They understand what it means to work and earn a living.

[astral]

Open a bank account in her name, put $2000 or close in the bank, leave the country for 2 weeks, tell her she can use the money if she needs it, the first time i did it she spent the lot and asked for more,( finished straight away ) the second time ( different girl ) she spent 1500 baht on something for me, ,i married her and seven years on a and a 5 year old daughter later we are still in love, shes my best mate and i wouldnt change her for anything,. luck ? maybe, but it worked for me,.good luck to you,.

That sounds like a very good way to do it.

It sounds like you found a gem.

[Andrew Hicks]

Open a bank account in her name, put $2000 or close in the bank, leave the country for 2 weeks, tell her she can use the money if she needs it, the first time i did it she spent the lot and asked for more,( finished straight away ) the second time ( different girl ) she spent 1500 baht on something for me, ,i married her and seven years on a and a 5 year old daughter later we are still in love, shes my best mate and i wouldnt change her for anything,. luck ? maybe, but it worked for me,.good luck to you,.

I too have a wonderful Thai wife but of course I have to maintain her and her Mama.

From the time the cave man dragged the girl into his cave by her hair, those have been the rules. Read Jane Austen and that was what it was all about... a gal's family had to find her a man with money.

That's how it was with my parents and their generation and only in the latter half of the twentieth century with moves towards gender equality did things begin to change.

So if you want your Thai lady not to ask you for money then you must be a feminist and had better bugger back West.

My 'Thai girl' and I are very happy with the way things are though.

Andrew

PS You left her 2000 baht when you went abroad??!!! Kee nieow jing jing!!

[Prakanong]

First time i came I chatted to about 4 girls on the net before arriving, one said i could put my cash in her bank account whilst i was here (approx £1000), she knew i was going to see the other 3 girls during my stay and new I was looking for a girlfriend. She never touched it and she even said i could stay in her condo if i wanted even if I had chosen another girl.

Why not leave it in your own bank account and withdraw it at the ATM, or keep it in your pocket, or hidden in your hotel room, that has to be the most stupid thing ive ever heard anyone own upto in my life.

Each to their own but youve just described one bizarre situation.

I thought it was rather bizarre too that someone would suggest it and someone would do it!

I mean its your notmal everyday holiday experience is it not - go to a foreign country and put you spending money in a locals Bank account - well without spending it first

[su-b-doo]

So many stories of woe on here almost everyday, regarding getting ripped off by a Thai lady, you begin to question everything in your own relationship. So what is the ways to uncover these fraudulent relationships before they cost you a house, children or much more. What are the signs?? Whats the advise??

As soon as they open their gob a lie comes out; its their nature. My X and her (UK) boyfriend lied under oath, hence I lost custody of my son.

It is very hard to find a person of trust

[patklang]

you shouldn't be overly paranoid, for one thing. but some signs are- poor family, speaks good english, happily takes money when offered (or even outright asks for it) and doesn't pay it back, drinks/smokes/gambles a lot, has a "brother" hanging around all the time... i am sure many of the men on here can contribute.

girlx

is that based on experience or do you read too many books.

would love to know

poor family??? now thats funny

speaks good english??? so no unis here,and no private schools too

happily takes money??? so do english,french,greel ladies etc etc

drinks,smokes,gambles??? no other lady does that then,and you dont trust them

this is so funny,i could go on but am too busy.

[patklang]

you shouldn't be overly paranoid, for one thing. but some signs are- poor family, speaks good english, happily takes money when offered (or even outright asks for it) and doesn't pay it back, drinks/smokes/gambles a lot, has a "brother" hanging around all the time... i am sure many of the men on here can contribute.

I never saw one (woman) here in 4 years, that did not ask for or expect money and I am NOT talking about women I found in bars & massage joints,etc. Most, if not all, of my Farang friends have had the same experience, whether married or single, young or old. Money is the operative element here in relationships. It goes with the territory. If you want to test it, just decline requests for money and see how long she stays around.

be careful girlx said if they speak good english be very wary of them lol

To my recollection, in the last three years I have dated four women (not including women who I just had one or two dates with); not one, I repeat NOT ONE, asked for money in any way shape or form, unless you include paying for the meal/movie, etc. Of the ones I dated once or twice, not one asked for money.

Now, of the girls I dated before this three year period, all asked for money, every single one. The difference, three years ago I started to date only professional women - and I don't mean just someone working in an office answering phones, I mean business professionals. And surprise, my two closest friends have GFs that have never asked for anything - in one case the GF makes more than my friend.

There's a whole other Thailand out there it seems most people will never see. A place where women have careers, have good families and are not looking for anything more than a lasting committed relationship. As bendix said, most are just too lazy and wind up with a certain class of women, or the next step up. To each his own.

What you say may be true, if you (the Farang) have access to and can mingle in an environment where such professional Thai women may be working. This means that you may be employed by some multi-national and may even be in some supervisory capacity and therefore "looked up to". For most foreign men, who are living here on a retirement visa and/or not working, they do not rub elbows with such women. The opportunities for such are also much less if you are living outside of Bangkok. The limited exposure I have had to such "high-so" women, through educational circles here, revealed to me they have little interest in any relationship with a foreigner, unless they are interested in living overseas and he (the man) might be of some assistance in such pursuit. It's not a matter of lazy or not. It's a matter of what circles you have the opportunity to mix in.

I will quickly respond to a few points.

1) the type of many you describe, retired, no professional associations here, will have trouble meeting young professional women anywhere in the world. So, they are looking at a different type of women - naturally, that type of women will be much more likely to be in it for the money. The west has gold diggers too, most simply can't afford them. However, I would argue that any presentable man, regardless of age (within reason) can meet a decent, middle class girl looking for stability. One of my GFs friends who is around 30 with a mid-level office job is getting married to a westerner in his mid-50s who, in my opinion, is no great catch and is retired here. What amazed me is people are surprised at the behavior of these women - you should really just expect it.

2) yes, I have access to these women, but that does not automatically mean they will do things like introduce me to friends, etc. I had to build up a good deal of trust first.

3) I am not speaking of hi-so women, but rather successful middle class women who have pushed themselves through school and have enjoyed career success. They understand what it means to work and earn a living.

[mrtoad]

you shouldn't be overly paranoid, for one thing. but some signs are- poor family, speaks good english, happily takes money when offered (or even outright asks for it) and doesn't pay it back, drinks/smokes/gambles a lot, has a "brother" hanging around all the time... i am sure many of the men on here can contribute.

girlx

is that based on experience or do you read too many books.

would love to know

poor family??? now thats funny

speaks good english??? so no unis here,and no private schools too

happily takes money??? so do english,french,greel ladies etc etc

drinks,smokes,gambles??? no other lady does that then,and you dont trust them

this is so funny,i could go on but am too busy.

It's her pre conceived ideas that she has of most Western men here in Thailand. Sad, very sad.

[dave9988]

So many stories of woe on here almost everyday, regarding getting ripped off by a Thai lady, you begin to question everything in your own relationship. So what is the ways to uncover these fraudulent relationships before they cost you a house, children or much more. What are the signs?? Whats the advise??

if she is much younger than you thats a good sign.

[rjk]

So many stories of woe on here almost everyday, regarding getting ripped off by a Thai lady, you begin to question everything in your own relationship. So what is the ways to uncover these fraudulent relationships before they cost you a house, children or much more. What are the signs?? Whats the advise??

If this is a question you feel the need to ask, then you already have a problem IMHO. If you do not or cannot trust the person you are with (no matter where the person comes from) then end it now.

[yabaaaa]

Interestingly w e just rented a condo out to a guy and his Thai girlfriend, he doesnt speak Thai but her first words to my wife who is Thai were could she have a second keycard while her boyfriend (farang) is away. My wife asked her why?................ answer, in case she wanted to bring her Gik round!!

[dave9988]

Interestingly w e just rented a condo out to a guy and his Thai girlfriend, he doesnt speak Thai but her first words to my wife who is Thai were could she have a second keycard while her boyfriend (farang) is away. My wife asked her why?................ answer, in case she wanted to bring her Gik round!!

jesus. not even subtle, i guess she thought your wife would understand???? :confused:

Edited December 31, 2008 by dave9988