I'm In A Difficult Situation

[nohave]

You are wrong. How long have you lived in Thailand? It's so obvious, OP did what any young lad would do... shag. Now, since the girl was in Pattaya it's obvious that her older sisiters have brainwashed her into setting him up the way she did. Besides, she lied to him on several ocassions. The OP had made it clear he didn't wan the kid. Girls like her disgust me. I'd slap her if I see her. Been in Thailand for over 22 years and heard too many similar stories. It is only too clear that this girl is after a sugar daddy.

It's funny to see how many sympathise with this girl. Or are some of you "sympathisers of this disgusting girl" married to ex hookers by any chance? Then I understand... over & out!

Whatever else is going on here on this topic, it's quite clear that the difficult situation in which the OP finds himself is entirely of his own doing, and putting the blame on a 17 year old girl is disgusting. He should deal with it in a responsible and adult manner, all the rest is bull.

onzestan

Edited July 16, 2008 by nohave

[GracelessFawn]

You are wrong. How long have you lived in Thailand? It's so obvious, OP did what any young lad would do... shag. Now, since the girl was in Pattaya it's obvious that her older sisiters have brainwashed her into setting him up the way she did. Besides, she lied to him on several ocassions. The OP had made it clear he didn't wan the kid. Girls like that disgust me. I'd slap her if I'd see the bitch.

Whatever else is going on here on this topic, it's quite clear that the difficult situation in which the OP finds himself is entirely of his own doing, and putting the blame on a 17 year old girl is disgusting. He should deal with it in a responsible and adult manner, all the rest is bull.

onzestan

Your logic amazes me. Do you realize you're talking about slapping a minor? You should slap the OPs stupid dick/head instead. Yeah, I heard that it's what most lads do here in Thailand, but there's a line between responsibility, accountability and merely just having fun.

[Chaimai]

It's a Troll.

The OP cannot be for real.

[Jgirl]

I got some comments here for you:

1. You have to do the DNA test after the baby is borned. you can't tell if you are the baby's father right now. If he is. Then take resposibility to look after her/him. not her mother.

2. Do you love her ? or do you have any feelings on her ? Do you need give some time to her to know what she is doing ? Maybe a convensation will be good for both of you. to speak frankly to find out what she wants. and what you think. she is so young, i don't think she will depends on you for her whole life..if she is..then i got nothing to say to her.

3. You mentioned that she lived together with her sister. Is that possible for you to find a chance to speak with her sister or her family. to tell them your thoughts and ask their opinion which way will be good. if her family can take care her .that woud be great during her pregnant time. it will depends how is their family .

4. from what you said .I do'n't belive the girl loves you. she may just want find someone who can support her life . if you don't like her neither. then don't waste your time on her anymore. you should leave her and go back to England. don't afraid of the policemen. there are many people even done more worse things than you in Thailand. espeically for this kind of realtionship matters. it is complicated to deal with. they can't do much about it after you go back England.and I don't think the girl will keep the child by her own after you leave. if she do..she will leave the baby to her family to raise or find another guy. this result will be good for both of you. but i just feel sorry for the baby.

Don't think about it so much.Just take a rest. what it will be then it will be. you need get ready to take any result on this matter . and remember to have relationship with someone after you know her. it will save you a lot of headche. Take Care !

J

Edited July 16, 2008 by Jgirl

[medoraman]

I just cannot believe the people sticking up for the OP. Even if he is a troll, his defenders are what is upsetting me. I do not care she lied about her age a year. dam_n, he knew she was young, that is why he wanted her, but when she acts young and immature he blames her for it? I am just disgusted by some mens responses here. Sorry, I just am. It is her decision about abortion, be a man and live with the consequences of your actions. Pay her a responsible amount to raise the child. I am so, so sorry if your beer and bargirl budget would be crimped. Grow the F up. Would he really think he could treat a woman in the UK that way? She would have a lawyer string him up by the nuts so fast he wouldn't have time to scream.

I am with the Don. I say teach him some manners if he doesn't wish to learn any other way.

[Carib]

Since the OP tells us that she is the one to blame and a not responsible person, he cannot hold her responsible too for cutting of his dic k and flushing it down the drain, because that is what he deserves.

It is also a very nice guarantee that he will not ever do something like this again.

IF this guy is for real, i am very ashamed that I am a member of the same group of ( human ) beings. ( human for me and `being` for him)

[mrtoad]

When I come to Thailand in January, I hope to hear that this baby is getting the care that is needed. Or else I will be giving people some early christmas presents. And trust me, 10 years of steroid abuse is no small present.I trust the OP will make the right choice. I wont be in a good mood either after leaving my 10 thousand ickboxing magazines here in Australia

Of course you will.

10 years of steroid abuse will probably mean that you have a pretty small present.

[Moonrakers]

To the OP.

If the kid is yours, then it is yours.....FACT.

I typed a long spiel but instead I'll keep it short.

Your OP was all about YOU, YOU and YOU......

As others have mentioned 1st find out if it is your kid, and if it is then stop blaming her as after all "It takes two to Tango"

It's NOT about YOU and it's NOT about the mother........... It's ALL about the baby and so stop being selfish and take a step back, and then have a word with yourself OK.

[teacup]

He was lied to about the age,

She didn’t want to take the pills, and lied about pregnancy,

She didn’t want to have abortion knowingly she can’t take care and the father doesn’t want the baby,

She does nothing for herself but usually sitting all day watching thai lakorns, and probably has no plan to further her education or job wise, etcs.

I can understand the OP’ resentment and bitterness, but it takes 2 in this situation.

Things had already happened and you can’t go back as …….what if, or but….

So best now is to think of the next best course of actions

I would say….

Support her during her pregnancy so the baby can be born healthy.

Then continuing to support the baby at least for the first 2 years.

Then reanalyzing again after 2 years, about your financial, the baby, and the feeling for the mother and your own baby. You might change your mind after you see your own child.

If nothing works out by then,…..one option is to put the baby up for adoption, as you don’t want the baby to grow up with both parents resented each other.

So for the OP

Don’t make the ultimatum decision when still bitter, you might come to regret it later on.

As a thai girl myself

Still….I just couldn’t believe that this girl can be that naïve about the bird & the bee, even at 17. When she can see and hear people talking about condoms, pills, and the results of having unprotected sex, on then news,, tv, radio, leaflets, on the billboard, etc….all over Thailand.

Especially one’s dealing with a farang, what do think he wants from you, when you decided to move in with him at that young age with no job, no education, no nothing?

And now she doesn’t seem want to do that or do this,… and expect him to take all the burdens & responsibilities

Just seems incredibly too stupid to me.

And the OP’s personality and actions just haven't seemed to help the situation better either, so far

Edited July 16, 2008 by teacup

[AmeriThai]

I would say….

Support her during her pregnancy so the baby can be born healthy.

Then continuing to support the baby at least for the first 2 years.

Then reanalyzing again after 2 years, about your financial, the baby, and the feeling for the mother and your own baby. You might change your mind after you see your own child.

As a thai girl myself

Still….I just couldn’t believe that this girl can be that naïve about the bird & the bee, even at 17. When she can see and hear people talking about condoms, pills, and the results of having unprotected sex, on then news,, tv, radio, leaflets, on the billboard, etc….all over Thailand.

Just seems incredibly too stupid to me.

And the OP’s personality and actions just haven't seemed to help the situation better either, so far

The OP seems to have indicated he doesn't really want the gf or the baby. That seems pretty clear since he's implied going out poking other girls, and has said he's told the gf she needs to get used to it. He's extremely self-centered and insensitive. Considering he has no feelings for the gf or her pregnancy, it's hard to understand why he even keeps her at where he's living and continues to taunt her with what he's doing. Maybe it's because of his own fear as he stated in his original post, what can happen to him legally if the Boys in Brown get involved. He can either (1) pay child support in whatever amount the court decides, or (2) he can expect to spend some time behind bars, or (3) he can run. In the first option, he'd have no decision in what amount is ordered to pay. In the second option, if he doesn't pay anything, he could easily end up in jail which wouldn't be a cozy place to be. In the third option, if he runs, he can probably expect his good times in LOS will be at an end. Returning could land him in jail.

He's been cruel to her by refusing to provide her with any clothes now that the baby "bump" is showing. He seems to refuse to acknowledge his own responsibility and puts all the blame on the girl, who happens to be underage. The pregnancy may be unexpected because of the stupidity of both her and him. Regardless, it happened, and as you stated, it can't be undone as though it never happened. He needs to realize, whether he likes it or not, that his own life has changed, and he needs to own up to it and take responsibility to care for the child, not just in a financial sense, but also in actively raising the child. Babies are helpless. They didn't ask to be born. They need to be loved and taken care of. That's something the OP has shown he is not capable of or willing to do.

Tossing a little cash to "support" as he's indicated being willing to do is meaningless. He expects that to be strictly provided for the baby. But he fails to realise that if he's NOT going to be an active part of that baby's life, the mother or her family need to care for it, which ends up being part of the support. The way he sounds, I wouldn't be surprised once he's out of the country, that he'll just stop paying any support.

Yes, the girl was stupid for not insisting on protected sex. I'd guess there are still plenty of girls who think maybe it won't happen to her this time.

What's also amazing to me is that if the baby is in fact actually his, then he's essentially turning his back on his own flesh and blood, a part of his own family. That's pretty cruel. He's doing whatever he can to strike out at the gf since he feels she's the one to blame, and taunting her as well. If he keeps that crap up, she might very well get fed up with it and bring in legal help. Or she may well have some brothers, cousins and uncles pay a visit to the OP. I don't think that would be a very pleasant meeting.

The OP needs to get his act together, put his own immaturity and anger aside, and deal with this situation in a calm manner that will be workable for everyone. So does the gf. Otherwise, if he thinks his life is already going down the drain as he indicated, things could get a whole lot worse. Just saying.

[teacup]

Amerithai,

Very sensible post, but sadly not all the sheep here are sensible like you

If he can’t do it himself willingly, then the boys in brown can be some help

Yea….that will teach him and his kind not to go poking around aimlessly, with a stupid girl or not.

[qwertz]

Amerithai,

Very sensible post, but sadly not all the sheep here are sensible like you

If he can't do it himself willingly, then the boys in brown can be some help

Yea….that will teach him and his kind not to go poking around aimlessly, with a stupid girl or not.

Teacup, I think his aim in this case was true, if nothing else.

[TheDon]

You are wrong. How long have you lived in Thailand? It's so obvious, OP did what any young lad would do... shag. Now, since the girl was in Pattaya it's obvious that her older sisiters have brainwashed her into setting him up the way she did. Besides, she lied to him on several ocassions. The OP had made it clear he didn't wan the kid. Girls like her disgust me. I'd slap her if I see her. Been in Thailand for over 22 years and heard too many similar stories. It is only too clear that this girl is after a sugar daddy.

It's funny to see how many sympathise with this girl. Or are some of you "sympathisers of this disgusting girl" married to ex hookers by any chance? Then I understand... over & out!

Whatever else is going on here on this topic, it's quite clear that the difficult situation in which the OP finds himself is entirely of his own doing, and putting the blame on a 17 year old girl is disgusting. He should deal with it in a responsible and adult manner, all the rest is bull.

onzestan

Thats a great joke, I actually thought you were serios for a minute.

[dougieboy]

This is the situation,

I have been in Thailand for the best part of 2 years, apart from the odd spell back home in England. At the beginning of January i met an 18 year old girl, im 25..she had not longed arrived in Pattaya and spoke very little english. After couple weeks of speaking to her she agreed to go out to the cinema and from there on we met up and got to know each other better. Anyway i then stayed with her for the next 4 months until end of April when i had a call from back home that my grandmother had suddenly died and the family wanted me back home asap as the funeral was the following week, next day i booked up flight back to England and after a lot of last minute rushing around i was flying off just 2 days after receiving the news, but not long before i was leaving the girlfriend told me she might be pregnant! omg i had no time to do anything but told her soon as im gone she has to go pharmacy and get herself tested.

I arrive back in England and im tied up in alot of family grieving for a while with the funeral and everything. When i next get to speak to the girlfriend i ask her about the baby situation and she tells me she is not pregnant which is a relief, afterwards i end up staying 2 months in England before i head back to Thailand at the end of June.

When i return and meet up with the girlfriend im not 100% convinced she isnt pregnant and buy and test from the pharmacy and make her take it..she lied and she is pregnant! i take her to the hospital the next day and im told she is 3 months and its too late to do anything (not the case if she acted 2 months before).

Im so annoyed and i know she just thought by having baby she can now sit on her ass at my house and i will take care of her forever, when ive said i might have to return and work in England she replies ''why cant you just live in Thailand'' like everything is just that simple.

Anyway my friends have said she has just screwed me over to try and trap me (which i agree with), i have told her i want her to return and stay with her sister for while because i want time to think (she has now told me she is 17 and not 18!) now when i say about her leaving the house she says ''im young, i will tell police!!'' what the hel_l, now what do i do? i feel so trapped and i truely believed she was 18, can i go to jail? she never worked as prostitute and i never paid her any money to stay with me (only food and some clothes).

What i really need to know is what can happen if she reports me to the police? also if we seperate and i take care of the baby how much would it cost me per month (only take care of baby and not her) i know amount can vary depends on how much i want hand the baby but i dont want her family pocketing extra and also i do not have much money hence not planning on this situation in the first place.

Please i need some advice...

One day in the future, that kid (your unborn child) will take on the responsibility of taking care of his mother (your gf) but now, you should face your responsibility of supporting your gf and your child to be. These are the consequences of your actions, I think you must do the right thing but I doubt that you will.

[teacup]

Amerithai,

Very sensible post, but sadly not all the sheep here are sensible like you

If he can't do it himself willingly, then the boys in brown can be some help

Yea….that will teach him and his kind not to go poking around aimlessly, with a stupid girl or not.

Teacup, I think his aim in this case was true, if nothing else.

qwertz

If you pick on my English again, I will push you into a nearby ditch !

[Moonrakers]

I had one of those awkward questions that Thai Wife's/GF's or just females the world over like to ask one night.

The question was: "What would I do if I impregnated another woman?"

I just bit the bullet and told the truth... "I would stay with my family, however if the kid was proved to be mine then I would give the kid all the support it deserves"

Thankfully the response was the right one in my wife's eyes and she respected me for that.

As a father I just cannot understand how somebody who could blatantly put their own feelings ahead of their own flesh and blood. Perhaps I am in the wrong to impose my own ideals upon somebody else but for me it is just mind boggling. Although coming from a single parent family myself my thoughts on this may well run deeper than others.

I agree with teacup that maybe the OP should wait to see the child. Unfortunately though I feel from his post that his is thinking only of himself and it wont even get that far. He should be asking how best to look after the kid - not himself.

[AmeriThai]

Amerithai,

Very sensible post, but sadly not all the sheep here are sensible like you

If he can't do it himself willingly, then the boys in brown can be some help

Yea….that will teach him and his kind not to go poking around aimlessly, with a stupid girl or not.

Teacup, I think his aim in this case was true, if nothing else.

Masterpiece!

Edited July 17, 2008 by AmeriThai

[teacup]

Hey

I wish I could laugh with his joke too, I guess…….If only I know what it means

You farangs are very good playing with words. I don’t like people that smarter than me

[AmeriThai]

I had one of those awkward questions that Thai Wife's/GF's or just females the world over like to ask one night.

The question was: "What would I do if I impregnated another woman?"

I just bit the bullet and told the truth... "I would stay with my family, however if the kid was proved to be mine then I would give the kid all the support it deserves"

Thankfully the response was the right one in my wife's eyes and she respected me for that.

As a father I just cannot understand how somebody who could blatantly put their own feelings ahead of their own flesh and blood. Perhaps I am in the wrong to impose my own ideals upon somebody else but for me it is just mind boggling. Although coming from a single parent family myself my thoughts on this may well run deeper than others.

I agree with teacup that maybe the OP should wait to see the child. Unfortunately though I feel from his post that his is thinking only of himself and it wont even get that far. He should be asking how best to look after the kid - not himself.

The OP isn't Thai. In his first post, he said England was home. In this case, you're not imposing any ideals on him. He can clearly understand what's said. He just seems to choose to disregard anything sensible. You were right to say what you did.

Oddly, he started out with his tale of woe, then quickly changed to that of an a-hole by putting ALL the blame of the girl and refusing to realize that he's just as much to blame. Regardless of the girl lying about her age, the bottom line is that she's still underage. He can either try to work things out responsibly and make the best of the circumstances, or face the legal music and think about his actions. I don't think that would be a very happy tune.

He already took the girl to see a physician. The conclusion is that she's pregnant. Did he ask to have a DNA test done? No. Instead, he had a tissy-fit and stormed out because he thought he was getting ripped off. That's sheer stupidity.

[TheDon]

I also would like to mention, that its also her descision also to abort the kid, I would even say its 60% he choice and 40% the man's as the whole procedure is not that easy and there are risks if you want kids later

[GuestHouse]

The OP wasn't in a "Difficult Situation' when all the cards where in his hand.

Man enough to get a woman pregnant - Man enough to take care of her and the baby.

[farang555]

do many farangs view rural thais as just toys. taking advantage of them coz they got no munney! what does one think they are after, exceptions noted

[Doza]

Clearly now a troll but anyway...<deleted> is this about???

had one of those awkward questions that Thai Wife's/GF's or just females the world over like to ask one night.

The question was: "What would I do if I impregnated another woman?"

Ermm.....really? I have never been asked this - you think this is a common 'girl question'....? And you gave a serious answer? If my GF asked this I would tell her stupid question going nowhere forget it...

[mmushr00m]

I am reading OP's posts in disbelieve.

So she doesnt want to abort her baby. It's her choice if she doesnt want to kill her baby. So the OP is gonna force the mother to KILL her baby. ( I say her baby as obviously the OP wants nothing to do with it).

OP flips out about the medical bill. did he think it was free, there is no National Health here. And unless you go to a govt hospital you have to pay.

OP is upset she didnt argue the bill. hmmmm lets see, you drag her to the hospital, then tell the doctor that you want to abort the baby eventhough its obvious the mother does not want to. Argue with the doctor about doing it irregardless of the dangers involved to the mother then proceeded to argue about the bill. You really expected her to argue about the bill, to back you up???!!!

I hope you get yours.......

[farang555]

the proper ending to this would be a healthy thai baby, 100 and one percent thai!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[TheDon]

I think the OP wants us all to send him a cheque to help him with the baby, I mean thats what I would think he would want judging by logic he has put on this situation.

Please tell me your address, i will donate sixteen hundred kickboxing magazines that you can sell on ebay.

[AmeriThai]

Let's review some of the basics.

- This thread began as the OP's 1st Post at TV.

- He started this thread as a whining crybaby with a woe-is-me tale.

- He meets an 18-year-old girl in Pattaya who doesn't speak English, so he learns Thai well enough to be passible and they go to a movie.

- Later they hop in the sack, engage in unprotected sex, and live together for 4 months.

- He heads off to England for a funeral. When he returns, surprise, he finds out she's pregnant.

- He insists she go to the pharmacy to be tested, and tells him she's not pregnant.

- Then it turns out she lied because she is indeed pregnant after all and (suspense music please) she's underage, only 17, not 18.

- She's a lazy good-for-nothing who sits on her butt all day watching the television or yakking with her sister.

- The OP tries to kick her out, then she threatens to call the police because she's only 17.

- OP wants advice about what will happen if she reports him to the police, and how much will he have to pay in child support if they separate.

- Several suggestions are made from doing the right thing to kick her out of the house to run for it.

- Like a real man, he says running is not an option and he will be a father to the child.

- He then starts shifting gears and becomes an a-hole blaming the girl because it's all her fault for getting pregnant in the first place and doing nothing about it.

- While she sits on her butt at home, he goes out with the boys, getting drunk and boning other girls.

- He tells the 17-year-old underage gf she needs to get used to it.

- He has been advised that a DNA test should be made to determine his paternity.

- He takes the girl to a doctor, then storms out because he's convinced he's getting ripped off. He doesn't ask for a DNA test.

- He decides he'll probably provide 4000 baht per month for child support to only be used for the child. It's not for the mom-to-be or anyone else.

- Baby bum starts showing and gf needs looser maternity clothes. OP refuses to buy any for her.

CAST YOUR VOTE NOW!

- Is the OP some dim-witted guy snagged by an unexpected twist of fate due to carelessness and a lying gf?

- Is he a mental loser who quickly switches gears from a 'tale of woe' to 'doing the right thing' to being a 'first-class a-hole' in a matter of 8 posts?

- Is he a clever troll?

[siamamerican]

Just an angry and desperate 25 yr that is feeling sorry for himself. He came to Thailand to enjoy himself without any restraint and now doesn't want to pay for his stupidity. He'll probably convince himself that it isn't his responsibility and move on.

When and if he becomes a decent person he'll regret his decision for the rest of his life, but he is in no state to think further out than today.

[Moonrakers]

Clearly now a troll but anyway...<deleted> is this about???

had one of those awkward questions that Thai Wife's/GF's or just females the world over like to ask one night.

The question was: "What would I do if I impregnated another woman?"

Ermm.....really? I have never been asked this - you think this is a common 'girl question'....? And you gave a serious answer? If my GF asked this I would tell her stupid question going nowhere forget it...

Errrm... yes really.

So youv'e never had to field awkward and sensitive questions from a wife/gf? If so lucky you as women can be very complicated creatures.

Allow me to illustrate:

[petitechevre]

All the horrible disgusting posts on TV... Pattaya expats....

This isn't helping the 'pattaya isn't just a dump with whores' theory