Pierrot Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 Im so annoyed and i know she just thought by having baby she can now sit on her ass at my house and i will take care of her forever,.Anyway my friends have said she has just screwed me over to try and trap me (which i agree with), I feel so trapped ... Your feelings are clear. Give her the address of a good doctor / clinic, enough money for the operation and the next week. And go back to whatever you were doing before ! This way you may avoid three individuals, you, your gf and the baby, a miserable life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cali4995 Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 ...and I was thinking the silver lining was that with the reponsibility of taking care of a young mother and a baby on the way, maybe the unprotected philandering would lessen. Honestly now, you shacked-up together for 4 months. None of it should come as much of a surprise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiveSteam Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 For someone who is against abortion in all but a few instances you seem to find the situation pretty light hearted. 'Throw a little money at the parents' and 'manipulate' seem a little callous if you are indeed so against termination of unwanted pregnancies. This guy has asked for advice because he appears desperate. For someone of your opinion on the topic, how would you feel if he acted on your advice word for word? It sounds to me (maybe I am wrong) like he doesn't want the child. Actually I forgot to say that there another item I forgot and that was adoption which might be an idea. After seeing so many Look Krung kids up in the NE I really feel sorry about some of them the way they are treated. Not all but some are really looked down at like they were kids from a prostitute even though they might not be. I was only giving my advice. Not for everyone but advice take it or leave it. LiveSteam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AFKAFSinLOS Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 (edited) DNA test I dont think a DNA TEST is possible until after baby is born? Yes it is. See my post above. One procedure is to do an amniocentesis or amniotic fluid test (AFT). You can then take a sample of blood from the mother well as the father. They can then match the results of baby to mother and/or father. No DNA test is 100% accurate, but it can prove to 99.xx% confidence if he is not the father. They don't actually prove you are the father (or mother for that matter) just that the test has not shown that you are not the father. (Double negative to very high confidence level) ... I suggest OP googles for further info if interested Another reason to consider an amniocentesis is that you can also test for genetic abnormalities in the unborn child, by doing a separate chromosone test using another sample of the fluid. This may be a factor in deciding to keep the baby or not. OP may want to consider what he would do and how it would affect his decision should the baby have any genetic abnormalities. Bringing up a child with genetic abnormalities may be difficult in his own country, but at least there are support structures in places like UK/US and the child is generally well accepted. A cross cultural relationship can be challenging as well as rewarding. A cross cultural relationship in Thailand with a genetically abnormal child, would be something else. To put in bluntly: Many parts of society in US/UK would be supportive of your relationship and child. In Thailand your relationship is already under scrutiny by Thais. Having an abnormal child can be seen by many Thais as your kharma for things you have done wrong in this life and before, and you have brought this on yourselves... There are also face issues for the girl... etc... BTW A third reason for an AFT is you could check the gender of the unborn which could be useful... and no I don't sell them before someone makes that quip... Edited July 15, 2008 by AFKAFSinLOS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acomes2Siam Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 This may be important: A high profile example of this application of the law was a statutory rape charge filed against the lead singer of the Thai band Big Ass for allegedly having had sex with a (then) 16 year old girl. The charge was filed by the girl after the singer refused to take responsibility for her baby. The singer has since been cleared of being the baby's father due to the results of a paternity test and he received 2 years suspended sentence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orchis Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 Isn t abortion illegal in Thailand? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whatsoever Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 welCUM to thailand!sob sob sob! man up and pay. its your kid take care of it. YOU FEEL TRAPPED, WHAT DOES THE GIRL FEEL. you guys disgust me. Read the post again - you disgust me with your quick to condem sh*t. Read what the guy is <deleted> saying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotNew2You Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 Y r all u guys taking the bait Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AFKAFSinLOS Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 Isn t abortion illegal in Thailand? There are circumstances under which it is perfectly legal. Rules were altered a while back to include emotional circumstances as well as physical, and hence it is easier to obtain. It is down to the interpretation of the doctor concerned. Most good commercial hospitals here would consider it, although it isn't exactly advertised... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AFKAFSinLOS Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 (edited) Y r all u guys taking the bait Never understood trolls or flamers. They just show themselves to be bigger ****s than the people they try to wind up... Same mould as people who write computer viruses... . Let's face it, at the end of the day, it's about as clever as throwing a brick through someones window, and saying look at me I managed to break your window... Besides who cares whether the OP is genuine or not... Some people get themselves in this mess out here, so the post may be useful to someone.... The thread highlights there's a lot of misinformation out there, so anything that helps clear it up... At the end of the day, what's real anyway... Edited July 15, 2008 by AFKAFSinLOS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Payboy Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 (edited) Isn t abortion illegal in Thailand? ...yes, alongwith prostitution, drug dealing, vote buying and crashing luxury cars into bus stops.... Edited July 15, 2008 by Payboy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmeriThai Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 Y r all u guys taking the bait It might be, but the scenario is real enough to think about and discuss. As already suggested, there may well be people who have been through such a situation, and no doubt there will be others. And it might even give some enough to think about to take extra precautions to avoid getting into a situation like this in the first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farang555 Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 look at the bright side, costs of raising baby in village not high. you wont have much of a kid though, a mama who works the bars and a papa who dont want it. akways the kid who pays. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doza Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 (edited) If you say you have never done it then you are most likely lying. After few drinks one night we all make mistakes, you would have to be a saint if you go through your whole life without once having unprotected sex without 100% checking if she was taking the pill or not..we all know asking doesnt always mean you will get the correct answer. I have done a few odd drunken one nights stands without a condom no knowing for sure if the girl was on the pill, yes. But werne't you in a relationship??? As I understand it your siutation is not a shag "After few drinks" where "we all make mistakes"! It sure sounded to me like you were in a relationship with her - or are you saying you had an agreement about contraception but you then had a one night drunken shag with her and she got preggers from that? I have never been in a relationship with someone: a. I wans't very sure about the contraception situation with B. I didn't trust enough to be very sure I was getting the correct answer But hey,maybe I have just been in relationships with girls who I could communicate well with and had lots in common with so understood well. Compatability. Edited July 15, 2008 by Doza Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tourleadersi Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 look at the bright side, costs of raising baby in village not high. you wont have much of a kid though, a mama who works the bars and a papa who dont want it. akways the kid who pays. Unbelievably sad and so so true farang555. That is the reality when two adults get into a powerplay with a kid in the middle. Lets just hope a solution can be found that causes the least harm to the only innocent party involved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheDon Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 You should hold our head down in shame, she is under 18, you get her pregnant and now say its all a scam? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farang555 Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 i pray the don isnt going to deflower innocent young farm women and then claim foul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whatsoever Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 You should hold our head down in shame, she is under 18, you get her pregnant and now say its all a scam? Yeah, he deserves a spin kick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheDon Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 The OP deserves a fly kick for that post, he blames her for being pregnant. What a pansy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotime Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 (edited) Spam or no spam, I learned the jack and jill, and 555 had some intelligible posts. As far as the OP, you can only trust the feelings you were born with. A 5 year old child knows when someone is sincere or full of shit. You ever see a child get punished because he wouldn't say hello to someone and acts shy? What happens to us? All the advice in the world won't change what or how you feel. Put your foot down. No fear, no guilt. Make a move. Everyone brings something to the table. Good luck. Edited July 15, 2008 by Shotime Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seagull Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 Dude I would just get that test to be sure. Your too young to throw your life away over some whore from Pattaya. I do not recall reading that she was a whore from Pattaya. Did I missed something as usual ? Help me to understand this statement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seagull Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 Isn t abortion illegal in Thailand? Is not anything that is illegal but yet one could get around it ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheDon Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 Dude I would just get that test to be sure. Your too young to throw your life away over some whore from Pattaya. I do not recall reading that she was a whore from Pattaya. Did I missed something as usual ? Help me to understand this statement. Its Huey, what else would you expect him to write about Thai's? Huey hates Thai's and Thailand with a passion Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poshthai Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 The op said she didnt work bar,right or wrong she deserves to be taken care of.Some of you guys have no heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qwertz Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 The OP could just walk away as many Thai men do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anon345535 Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 the girl has fuc_ked you over... but you must do the right thing do a runner!!!!!!!!! the girl is a cun7!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roygsd Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 This is the situation,I have been in Thailand for the best part of 2 years, apart from the odd spell back home in England. At the beginning of January i met an 18 year old girl, im 25..she had not longed arrived in Pattaya and spoke very little english. After couple weeks of speaking to her she agreed to go out to the cinema and from there on we met up and got to know each other better. Anyway i then stayed with her for the next 4 months until end of April when i had a call from back home that my grandmother had suddenly died and the family wanted me back home asap as the funeral was the following week, next day i booked up flight back to England and after a lot of last minute rushing around i was flying off just 2 days after receiving the news, but not long before i was leaving the girlfriend told me she might be pregnant! omg i had no time to do anything but told her soon as im gone she has to go pharmacy and get herself tested. I arrive back in England and im tied up in alot of family grieving for a while with the funeral and everything. When i next get to speak to the girlfriend i ask her about the baby situation and she tells me she is not pregnant which is a relief, afterwards i end up staying 2 months in England before i head back to Thailand at the end of June. When i return and meet up with the girlfriend im not 100% convinced she isnt pregnant and buy and test from the pharmacy and make her take it..she lied and she is pregnant! i take her to the hospital the next day and im told she is 3 months and its too late to do anything (not the case if she acted 2 months before). Im so annoyed and i know she just thought by having baby she can now sit on her ass at my house and i will take care of her forever, when ive said i might have to return and work in England she replies ''why cant you just live in Thailand'' like everything is just that simple. Anyway my friends have said she has just screwed me over to try and trap me (which i agree with), i have told her i want her to return and stay with her sister for while because i want time to think (she has now told me she is 17 and not 18!) now when i say about her leaving the house she says ''im young, i will tell police!!'' what the hel_l, now what do i do? i feel so trapped and i truely believed she was 18, can i go to jail? she never worked as prostitute and i never paid her any money to stay with me (only food and some clothes). What i really need to know is what can happen if she reports me to the police? also if we seperate and i take care of the baby how much would it cost me per month (only take care of baby and not her) i know amount can vary depends on how much i want hand the baby but i dont want her family pocketing extra and also i do not have much money hence not planning on this situation in the first place. Please i need some advice... Suggest an abortion, up to 20 weeks is normal in other countries, may be illegal in LOS but she or her friends will know a Dr who will do the operation for the right money. Get all of her personal details, and those of her family and get the hel_l out of Thailand is she continues to try to blackmail you, dont warn her just go when she is out. Leave contact details and when the child is born arrange through a THai lawyers firm to have the DNA test done on the child, supply your own DNA sample and you will at lest know if the child is yours. Dont mean to be disresectful but if she caught your eye she will have caught other guys eye as well. Do not return th LOS until the DNA results confirm you are not the father or if proven to be the father until a legal agreement is in place regarding financail support for the child. Be a man and pay if you are the father,you donthave anything in common with her so dont even bother thinking you do, its a shit situation, but its your shit o deal with it NOW rather than let her persuade you to leave the matter any longer. A nice young lad like you would be very welcome on the menu of the BKK Hilton so I suggest you avoid that possiblity by getting her to agree to a termination, You might like to get her to do another test as those kits are not infallable, use a condom even if she says she is pregnant, the test could have been wrong but you keep doing the business without a condom and she wont by wrong for very long. Sort it out now, a few tears now is better than a lifetime of regret. Roy gsd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
medoraman Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 (edited) I know the OP is stressed, it can be horrible going through stuff like this. BUT: 1. You had a live in girlfriend, why not discuss contraception? 2. You never checked her age. 3. Now you say "obviously she did it to sit on her ass". You are the adult, how the hel_l do you have a right to judge her actions? I am sure you have absolutely no part in her being pregnant, she just climbed on you in the middle of the night, or "decided" to become pregnant without any action from you. If this is a troll thread, its pretty good. If not, you are the biggest immature, hypocritical, self centered ass I have ever met. You were the dumbass who got her pregnant. Live with the consequences you jerk. Be thankful how cheap support will be in Thailand versus the UK. Would you make the same argument there, that its unfair you have to be responsible for what YOU did. You ever think that maybe this is not what she wanted either? You ever consider what it is doing to her life? Probably not. Its possible she loves you, and thought by living together you would marry her. You can go back to the UK, she has to live with this and her loss of face forever. Edit: Sorry for the rant. A good friend of mine had a sister this happened to. She thought they would marry, and when he turned up pregnant he left for Denmark. It ruined her life, and she still has shame from it. Too many of these farang stories around. If you wish to play, be a man. I do not care if Thai men do the same, I am farang when I go to Thailand, and don't appreciate these stories popping up every day of "bad farang" Yeah by all means have a DNA done, then be a man if it is yours. Then don't do the same stupid crap in the future. Edited July 15, 2008 by medoraman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roygsd Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 Get the abortion, NOW. Tell her it will devastate both of you lives and you want to be with her awhile before having a family. Throw a little money at her family to soften things up a bit. Whatever you bull S__t now doesn’t matter she started the line of BS in the first place. I am personally against all abortion except for rape and the mother’s health but if I was you get your best face on and manipulate. Hey next time sailor wear a combat helmet. LiveSteam For someone who is against abortion in all but a few instances you seem to find the situation pretty light hearted. 'Throw a little money at the parents' and 'manipulate' seem a little callous if you are indeed so against termination of unwanted pregnancies. This guy has asked for advice because he appears desperate. For someone of your opinion on the topic, how would you feel if he acted on your advice word for word? Relieved for all concerned I guess roy gsd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Djetou Posted July 15, 2008 Author Share Posted July 15, 2008 (edited) Never understood trolls or flamers. They just show themselves to be bigger ****s than the people they try to wind up... Same mould as people who write computer viruses... . Troll responses do not bother me as i simply pay little attention to them, internet warriors impress no one but themselves and odds are they wouldn't make the same comments to my face. Well she was 3 months pregnant which was end of June so i guess now she cant be far off 4 months, thing is last thing i want to be doing is dragging her off to a illegal back street clinic to have an abortion this late on..if she had acted months ago then all would be sorted now. This is before i looked apon the relationship totally different, the lie she told me about not being pregnant has changed my whole feeling towards her and keeps coming up in arguments. Now i find myself going out and getting drunk with my mates and leaving her in the house alone, i have a couple of 'giks' on the side which helps me deal with the blues of the pregnant girlfriend back homes. My life is going down hill and i can't help but blame her. Edited July 15, 2008 by Djetou Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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