I'm In A Difficult Situation

[DB84]

I think it is distasteful and plain nasty the way he is refusing to provide her the necessary care that she requires. Not to mention getting drunk & having sex with other women as some kind of solution when she is at home carrying what could very well be his unborn child. He's treating this young girl like she isn't human - it just makes me sick.

She made an immature decision in lying to him. But could this not be (or at least combined with) a religious issue, seeing as the average Thai is not very into "killing living things"?

Edited July 17, 2008 by DB84

[Kf6vci]

Well, I would fly back asap and hire a translator for a few hours.

Think yourself in her situation - loss of face for her and her folks, her having a chilf to look after for many years.

Please be friendly to her.

All the best!

[Chaimai]

[quote name='AmeriThai' date='2008-07-17 12:44:29' post=- Baby bum starts showing and gf needs looser maternity clothes. OP refuses to buy any for her.

CAST YOUR VOTE NOW!

- Is the OP some dim-witted guy snagged by an unexpected twist of fate due to carelessness and a lying gf?

- Is he a mental loser who quickly switches gears from a 'tale of woe' to 'doing the right thing' to being a 'first-class a-hole' in a matter of 8 posts?

- Is he a clever troll?

I go for option "D"

A dim-wiited arse-hole who is a troll

[roygsd]

Amerithai,

Very sensible post, but sadly not all the sheep here are sensible like you

If he can't do it himself willingly, then the boys in brown can be some help

Yea….that will teach him and his kind not to go poking around aimlessly, with a stupid girl or not.

Teacup, I think his aim in this case was true, if nothing else.

qwertz

If you pick on my English again, I will push you into a nearby ditch !

Dont worry too much, Americans have a problem with their english all the time.

I saw an item in the news recently about an american football player (in california I think) who didnt know they spoke english in the uk.........

Roy gsd

[Neeranam]

What on earth were you doing in Pattaya, having unprotected sex with an underage girl, as you gave her food and clothes in return?

Your own perversions aside, don't be a fool and let this young girl get anything from you. It's her fault - run run run. It can only lead to more problems in the future.

[OxfordWill]

Have you thought about how your feelings might change over the years? Is it possible you will wake up one day and think "Where is my Son/Daughter?" Will you want to look after him/her?

What if your kid looks a lot like you?

What if he grows up one day and finds you and asks why you abandoned him?

What if the world continues to get smaller and smaller and international laywers convince the mother to go after your UK bank accounts in 20 years time?

Is it possible you don't understand enough about her culture to be able to judge if she screwed you or if she was just scared and trying to do the right thing by not being truthful with you? How many 17 year olds lie when the going gets tough and hope a problem will go away? 17 female in Thailand is like a 14 female in London - immature. You have the benefit of a society which teaches you how to think like an adult very quickly, she has the benefit of... rice farmers. You refuse to forget she threatened to tell the police if you left, she probably forgot about it already and just said it out of fear.. imagine how terrifying the situation is for her, even if she thought she wanted it.

Finally, unless she was calling you every day while you were back home and generally acting like an annoying naggy in-love girl, the chances are the baby might not be yours.

Edited July 17, 2008 by OxfordWill

[Maigo6]

Like many here, you have been screwed by this girl

She never screwed me.

[wolfmanjack]

OP, just pay her off and continue your growing up process.

The thought of …18 yrs of child support and….. a chance of sitting on her butts and do nothing,

sure sounds better than a one lump sum payment?

LOL. Try asking a Thai - what would you rather have - 5 million baht today, now in your hand, or 500,000 baht per year for the next 20 years. What do you think 90% would say?

I'm betting on the 5 million option.

I would take the 5 million also since i would then have the opportunity to turn it into more. With compounding interest and careful investment it could easily surpass the 500,000 per year after 10 years

[egg6447]

Well i dragged her down the hospital to have a chat with the doctor, had all the scans etc and have been told the baby is too fully grown for an abortion at this stage (its illegal in Thailand etc etc and the baby could survive when taken out or something) and that i should just start to prepair for the baby. Doctor even suggested i buy some vitamin tablets for her to make her feel stronger (not being funny but she could have avoided this situation so why should i feel sorry for her and buy her vitamins).

Anyway she is back at the house now and just sat watching tv, ive already told her im out again tonight with my friends and she needs to get used to it. Been talking to her and the best she will get off me is 1000 baht a week for support if we seperate ( 4,000 month isnt bad considering alot of Thai's only earn 6k) she will need to get herself a job and pay for her part of the deal, if she contacts the police im focked but so is she as she will never get nothing. Scans and doctors talk came to like 2,500 baht total rip off, i will pay for the medical fees when she gives birth and also baby clothes etc, from then on its 4,000 baht month (pretty generous i think).

People here are telling you to run !!!! I think its the poor girl who needs to get the hel_l out of your life. Jeeez what a tight wad and its all her fault. Only a sad loser like yourself could blame her for all the trouble YOU have got your self into. You are the type of person that gives farang a bad name in this country. A real big man no doubt !!! As for not telling the same to your face I would relish the chance as you are obviously not a MAN andnot man enough to take responsibility for your actions ??????? !!!

here here . he needs topping.

[egg6447]

no offense sir. but this guy proved to be a bad dude from the get go!

what r some of u reading!

hey blizz you the man i always liked your responses. nice to have you back . missed you and you always say it like it is. goodonya

[surface]

This child will be end up just as fuc_ked up as you two.

Scrape job.

[Tod Daniels]

1. You have to do the DNA test after the baby is borned. you can't tell if you are the baby's father right now. J

Contrary to the evidently well thought out and oh-so eloquent post by the seemingly semi literate 'Jgirl'; You CAN find out if you're the father BEFORE the baby "is borned".

Well i dragged her down the hospital to have a chat with the doctor, had all the scans etc... Scans and doctors talk came to like 2,500 baht total rip off

From the sound of it; what you didn't get for, as you put it the 'total rip off' of 2,500 baht (the equivalent of the mind wobbling sum of $75US) was an amniocentesis test. I'm sure the previous exorbitant expenditure had to cut deeply into your beer drinking/party with your friends, hang out with your gik funds as well, hence the 'sour grapes' attitude you used when posting.

Take her to a 'reputable' hospital ASAP and get an amniocentesis test to determine IF you are in fact the father.

Any teeth-gnashing, hand wringing, and financial support, along with all the flaming of the O/P by posters either for him or the thai gurl (easily 90% of this thread) can wait until AFTER he actually knows IF he is the father.

While the O/P does seem to be an unremarkable, un-redeeming sort given his all too caviler attitude in his posts, I will with-hold further flames as to his alleged character or lack there-of. ..

Get the amnio test, then let us know.

[egg6447]

Well i dragged her down the hospital to have a chat with the doctor, had all the scans etc and have been told the baby is too fully grown for an abortion at this stage (its illegal in Thailand etc etc and the baby could survive when taken out or something) and that i should just start to prepair for the baby. Doctor even suggested i buy some vitamin tablets for her to make her feel stronger (not being funny but she could have avoided this situation so why should i feel sorry for her and buy her vitamins).

Anyway she is back at the house now and just sat watching tv, ive already told her im out again tonight with my friends and she needs to get used to it. Been talking to her and the best she will get off me is 1000 baht a week for support if we seperate ( 4,000 month isnt bad considering alot of Thai's only earn 6k) she will need to get herself a job and pay for her part of the deal, if she contacts the police im focked but so is she as she will never get nothing. Scans and doctors talk came to like 2,500 baht total rip off, i will pay for the medical fees when she gives birth and also baby clothes etc, from then on its 4,000 baht month (pretty generous i think).

What a heartless bastard you are. You come to this country and treat this girl like shit. People like you should be burned. You stick your dick unprotected without thinking of the consequences. Now, that she's pregnant you think it's her fault. You're ruining her life and the baby's life and you need to learn to take responsibility for your actions. You think she wants your money..... If she was that desperate for money why was she not a bar girl when you met her? Maybe, she was just trying to protect the baby from abortion that's why she didn't tell you she was pregnant initially. She's only a minor, but I have a feeling that she's 100 times over more mature than you are, you prick! In my eyes it makes you worst than a scumbag. Congratulations..... You've ruined two lives in one stroke. You must feel really proud.

Guys like you don't deserve to be born with a dick.

go girl. say it like it is. agree 100%. of course i think hes a troll. can there be anyone with a passport this thick.?

[farang555]

whether he is papa or not is becomming less of an issue. this mofo is one sorry ass person.

for those of you who are on the fence on this guy i hope your daughter brings him home as your son in law

[egg6447]

You are wrong. How long have you lived in Thailand? It's so obvious, OP did what any young lad would do... shag. Now, since the girl was in Pattaya it's obvious that her older sisiters have brainwashed her into setting him up the way she did. Besides, she lied to him on several ocassions. The OP had made it clear he didn't wan the kid. Girls like her disgust me. I'd slap her if I see her. Been in Thailand for over 22 years and heard too many similar stories. It is only too clear that this girl is after a sugar daddy.

It's funny to see how many sympathise with this girl. Or are some of you "sympathisers of this disgusting girl" married to ex hookers by any chance? Then I understand... over & out!

and where does the baby fit into your thinking?????????????. obviously you are the same as the op. a troll or a scumbag.

[egg6447]

whether he is papa or not is becomming less of an issue. this mofo is one sorry ass person.

for those of you who are on the fence on this guy i hope your daughter brings him home as your son in law

nice if she did. at least i would deal with him. he would be mentally and physically stimulated.

[Djetou]

Its no surprise many stick up for the girl, many of you are paying through the ass to keep hold of your Thai girlfriend ( guess you want the rest of us bleed dry, just like you are being). I can see why my girlfriend having to lie about her age, not use the pill, not get herself checked when she realized she missed her period, tell me she wasn't pregnant when she knew she was and then when i find out threatens to get the police invloved as she is underage if i decide to walk away or not pay up so she can sit around on her ass (sounds the innocent party to me) yes i can really see why many side with her . What was i to blame for..wait for it..on that eventful night i didnt use a condom (like no male has never made that mistake before, yes i guess that makes me the scum of the earth!!!).

Ive already said i will cloth the baby, pay bills including when she gives birth and then give a set fee each month (i can choose to go back to England or there are plenty of other places i could go (even in Thailand where she could never find me) but im still here, she still pays for nothing day in day out and doesnt need to work, but i guess im still the bad one and complete arsehol_e who needs to fear a beating from a drugged up steroid freak called 'Don' who one blow to his weak knee would make him drop like a brick.

Yes im still going out with my mates and having a good time, shagging my few 'giks' which i did last night and ended up returning home at 10am this morning but im sticking in there for the good of the baby and thats what counts, i havent walked away even though she lied so she could try and trap me but i guess i would have to wire 100,000 baht month to her account to be classed as a good caring guy (many guys can throw money at a situation, does that make them a good father who will be loved by there child?).

[qwertz]

Djetou, I know where you're coming from but in your place I wouldn't hang around there because your situation could become very tenuous.

Every Thai and his dog will side with her and she'll be more than satisfied if you just keep sending her money, which you can send her from afar.

Take a tip, don't hang on there until things turn really ugly.

[TheDon]

Its no surprise many stick up for the girl, many of you are paying through the ass to keep hold of your Thai girlfriend ( guess you want the rest of us bleed dry, just like you are being). I can see why my girlfriend having to lie about her age, not use the pill, not get herself checked when she realized she missed her period, tell me she wasn't pregnant when she knew she was and then when i find out threatens to get the police invloved as she is underage if i decide to walk away or not pay up so she can sit around on her ass (sounds the innocent party to me) yes i can really see why many side with her . What was i to blame for..wait for it..on that eventful night i didnt use a condom (like no male has never made that mistake before, yes i guess that makes me the scum of the earth!!!).

Ive already said i will cloth the baby, pay bills including when she gives birth and then give a set fee each month (i can choose to go back to England or there are plenty of other places i could go (even in Thailand where she could never find me) but im still here, she still pays for nothing day in day out and doesnt need to work, but i guess im still the bad one and complete arsehol_e who needs to fear a beating from a drugged up steroid freak called 'Don' who one blow to his weak knee would make him drop like a brick.

Yes im still going out with my mates and having a good time, shagging my few 'giks' which i did last night and ended up returning home at 10am this morning but im sticking in there for the good of the baby and thats what counts, i havent walked away even though she lied so she could try and trap me but i guess i would have to wire 100,000 baht month to her account to be classed as a good caring guy (many guys can throw money at a situation, does that make them a good father who will be loved by there child?).

I hope this is all a made up story, Because I dont think anyone is really this silly. Its her choice more if she wants to abort, not just yours. You are silly enough to do it without the condom, then live with your actions. Everyone is giving it to you because of your attitude towards the whole thing. I mean it sounds like you think everything revolves around you

[AmeriThai]

Its no surprise many stick up for the girl, many of you are paying through the ass to keep hold of your Thai girlfriend ( guess you want the rest of us bleed dry, just like you are being). I can see why my girlfriend having to lie about her age, not use the pill, not get herself checked when she realized she missed her period, tell me she wasn't pregnant when she knew she was and then when i find out threatens to get the police invloved as she is underage if i decide to walk away or not pay up so she can sit around on her ass (sounds the innocent party to me) yes i can really see why many side with her . What was i to blame for..wait for it..on that eventful night i didnt use a condom (like no male has never made that mistake before, yes i guess that makes me the scum of the earth!!!).

Ive already said i will cloth the baby, pay bills including when she gives birth and then give a set fee each month (i can choose to go back to England or there are plenty of other places i could go (even in Thailand where she could never find me) but im still here, she still pays for nothing day in day out and doesnt need to work, but i guess im still the bad one and complete arsehol_e who needs to fear a beating from a drugged up steroid freak called 'Don' who one blow to his weak knee would make him drop like a brick.

Yes im still going out with my mates and having a good time, shagging my few 'giks' which i did last night and ended up returning home at 10am this morning but im sticking in there for the good of the baby and thats what counts, i havent walked away even though she lied so she could try and trap me but i guess i would have to wire 100,000 baht month to her account to be classed as a good caring guy (many guys can throw money at a situation, does that make them a good father who will be loved by there child?).

What was i to blame for..wait for it..on that eventful night i didnt use a condom (like no male has never made that mistake before, yes i guess that makes me the scum of the earth!!!).

As you've discovered for yourself, it only takes one "mistake".

there are plenty of other places i could go (even in Thailand where she could never find me) but im still here

If you actually believe that, you're only fooling yourself. All it take's one visa run, or one trip to the airport, and it's game over.

Yes im still going out with my mates and having a good time, shagging my few 'giks' which i did last night and ended up returning home at 10am this morning but im sticking in there for the good of the baby and thats what counts

How thoughtful and considerate.

i havent walked away even though she lied so she could try and trap me

So what? Looks like you've trapped yourself. Who gives a rip about whether or not other guys have made the same mistake by forgetting protection? It wasn't some other guy who got you into the situation you're in now. Are you saying the idea of using a condom didn't cross your mind before sticking it in? Did you ever once think about the risk of getting an STD? Either way, you made the conscious decision to skip the raincoat. You have no one to blame but yourself for that.

i guess i would have to wire 100,000 baht month to her account to be classed as a good caring guy (many guys can throw money at a situation, does that make them a good father who will be loved by there child?).

Nope. It doesn't take 100,000 baht a month to be a "good caring guy", unless you're in the same bracket as the wealthy. So do you think shagging your few giks would make you a good caring guy and a father who will be loved by their child? What kind of impression does that make in the eyes of a child?

Okay, so you've said the girl wasn't a hooker. That's fine. So exactly how DID you meet this 17-year-old underage temptress that you evidently couldn't resist boning, and spent 4 months living together before you went to England? And are still living together to this day even though you essentially seem to hate her? Okay, I forgot, it's for the good of the baby. And what happens AFTER the baby is born? What kind of role model do you plan to be? Have you thought about the gf's family? Those ties are almost always extremely strong, so they're most likely going to be part of the picture whether you like it or not. In a relationship, not only does a guy like you get the girl, but you get the whole family as well. You'd better get used to it and try to make the best of it instead of acting like a self-serving a-hole who keeps making one mistake after another. Anything less makes you a total loser. Is that really what you want people to think of you? It might not be the easiest thing in the world to have something like this unexpectedly pop into your life, but it has, and you have to deal with it responsibly. It's time to grow up and face the music.

Edited July 17, 2008 by AmeriThai

[Chaimai]

Okay, so you've said the girl wasn't a hooker. That's fine. So exactly how DID you meet this 17-year-old underage temptress that you evidently couldn't resist boning, and spent 4 months living together before you went to England? And are still living together to this day even though you essentially seem to hate her? Okay, I forgot, it's for the good of the baby. And what happens AFTER the baby is born? What kind of role model do you plan to be? Have you thought about the gf's family? Those ties are almost always extremely strong, so they're most likely going to be part of the picture whether you like it or not. In a relationship, not only does a guy like you get the girl, but you get the whole family as well. You'd better get used to it and try to make the best of it instead of acting like a self-serving a-hole who keeps making one mistake after another. Anything less makes you a total loser. Is that really what you want people to think of you? It might not be the easiest thing in the world to have something like this unexpectedly pop into your life, but it has, and you have to deal with it responsibly. It's time to grow up and face the music.

Don't waste your breath on this

[Khun Jean]

Here is the deal mister Djetou, in case you are for real.

Ask your girlfriend if she wants a job so she can be on her own, or stay with you.

If she wants a job, give me a PM and i will give her a place to stay and an easy job to earn some money. The job is not really there but i can make up one. Always something to do. And a few lousy baht won't hurt the bank. And if it helps the girl and her child, all the better.

I have a sister in law (a devout budhist) that can help her in the first pregnancy period and take care of her.

If she wants to stay with you, i would suggest you take her to the doctor again and have her head examined.

[AmeriThai]

Okay, so you've said the girl wasn't a hooker. That's fine. So exactly how DID you meet this 17-year-old underage temptress that you evidently couldn't resist boning, and spent 4 months living together before you went to England? And are still living together to this day even though you essentially seem to hate her? Okay, I forgot, it's for the good of the baby. And what happens AFTER the baby is born? What kind of role model do you plan to be? Have you thought about the gf's family? Those ties are almost always extremely strong, so they're most likely going to be part of the picture whether you like it or not. In a relationship, not only does a guy like you get the girl, but you get the whole family as well. You'd better get used to it and try to make the best of it instead of acting like a self-serving a-hole who keeps making one mistake after another. Anything less makes you a total loser. Is that really what you want people to think of you? It might not be the easiest thing in the world to have something like this unexpectedly pop into your life, but it has, and you have to deal with it responsibly. It's time to grow up and face the music.

Don't waste your breath on this

You're right. I don't expect any rational response from this guy. He's all double-talk, blame shifting, and beyond the ability to accept his own responsibility. He'll just keep doing what he's already doing. I feel sorry for the future of the baby in waiting.

[Kees5]

The one thing he should have been given a advice from the start, and that maybe of some use to someone out here in future:

At earliest possible time (past the first few weeks after conception) take her to a doctor, do a ultrasound scan, and ask the Dr to interpret when the child was conceived. That may not prove he was the father, but it might disprove it, if he wasn't in country at time of conception. It is apparently very accurate in the first few months, e.g. may pinpoint conception as close as a days' margin.

She might have lied about timing, or simply not known.

Amniocentesis does bring some risk to the fetus, and therefore no one can be forced to do so without informed consent.

OP >

I didnt speak to doctor about that, to be honest i just wanted to get the hel_l out of there..he was trying rip me off by thinking i was going to put her through all health checks like hiv etc and wack me with a massive bill.<

Not putting her through these healthchecks is STUPID, not only because of her, and the child, but also you!

>2,500 baht for a few pictures of the baby scan which i didnt even ask for and the discussion was rip off enough, funny how they always right the bill in Thai. I aksed the girlfriend to complain about the price because they wouldn't listen to me, she couldnt even do that and just shy'd away and left. <

Ultrasound is standard procedure these days, and could have helped you.

Other aspects of this matter have been covered here enough for me to stay out of the fray.

[farang555]

he sounds real to me. sorry to say!

look at the bright side. this has been an entertaining thread.

Nothing agaisnt rural girls but i wouldnt let them mail a letter, they may be up to something . i also wouldnt leave birth control in their hands .

THEY ARE JUST IN A DIFFERENT PLACE IN THEIR LIVES!

Edited July 18, 2008 by farang555

[Dave the Dude]

he sounds real to me. sorry to say!

look at the bright side. this has been an entertaining thread.

Nothing agaisnt rural girls but i wouldnt let them mail a letter, they may be up to something . i also wouldnt leave birth control in their hands .

THEY ARE JUST IN A DIFFERENT PLACE IN THEIR LIVES!

CORRECT and 'that place' is MORE theirs, than OURS! Geographically and mentally

[Edonista]

welCUM to thailand!

sob sob sob!

man up and pay. its your kid take care of it.

YOU FEEL TRAPPED, WHAT DOES THE GIRL FEEL. you guys disgust me.

She feels she won the lottery.

[seagull]

It is a pity she is not here to let her opinions be heard, rather than only from that little boy jerk !

[Edonista]

Get the abortion, NOW. Tell her it will devastate both of you lives and you want to be with her awhile before having a family. Throw a little money at her family to soften things up a bit.

Whatever you bull S__t now doesn't matter she started the line of BS in the first place. I am personally against all abortion except for rape and the mother's health but if I was you get your best face on and manipulate.

Hey next time sailor wear a combat helmet.

LiveSteam

Isn't abortion illegal in Thailand ? Anyway, if he gives her family money for the abortion, how can he check the abortion is done for real ? The family will probably retain the money and perform no abortion, so that they can further blackmail him.

My advise to the OP is to flee Thailand, sell all his assets in UK and move to Dominican Republic or Panama where he will be able to ask for a new citizenship and passport, thus evading feminazi laws persecution.

[farang555]

i bet the girl feels like she won the NIGERIAN lotterry