contrary to what people think , if you are in a good relationship it is not difficult, if you are worried about the hair on the soap then you have bigger problems, most people live in this fantasy land of high expectations-no relationship will ever measure up. I think one of the problems people have is trying to measure up to what they see on tv or read in a magazine. In a good relationship you will argue about things from today, not from yesterday. I laugh now when I hear people say they want to live together first to see if things will work out-what a load of shit, either it is good or not good. Those annoying things will not get better and the more you try to fix them the deeper in the hole you will get, then pretty soon 5,10,20 years down the road you are both full of regret. I think one of the most important things a person should look at are the parents of the person you are involved with or your own. My thai wife can become very emotional, but not about everything! I used to follow the , I am prince charming coming to your rescue scenario, when I finally let go of my ego, life got much better and I met my wife-I was able to accept her giving nature, women are also caught into the wanting to be rescued scenario, I am a wreck-fix me or help me. Read a book called "the road less traveled"-great book about relationships and how we ruin them with the stupid games. Off the topic a bit, just saw the topic-my thai father in law is very attentive with my mother in law- we talk to our wives about the more serious topics, otherwise my wife has a cheap calling card that I encourage her to use to call her mother. Thai women express emotions far less then their western counterpart in my experience-the little things are muy phen rai, I have to say also I have learned to not sweat the small stuff as we would say in the west, I have learned alot from the thai culture. When she does get upset, I am listening; if people complain all the time you quit listening.

I find it works best if I am approached with a broiled steak fried onions and green peppers. Oh and don't forget the baked potatoe!

Edited August 17, 200817 yr by philliphn

my dad always keeps quiet when my mom complains something about him or just smile with the feeling guilty and then end upp by teasing her.

but my mom ...NOT always complains everything. and bcos my dad has never made her upset.

most of thai guys LOVE to be quiet.. that makes we girls think they don't care what we say. till now i neither know what BOYS are thinking or feeling at the time.

Saturday evening I read the entire thread of this discussion. Sunday morning I read a prayer that could be relevant to "Mai Pen Rai" which I perceive as being criticized by farangs. The criticisms suggest the stance or response of Mai Pen Rai is irresponsible communication.

This prayer, think lifts Mai Pen Rai to a spiritual maturity in Thai cultural. Here it is:

TO PRAY WITHOUT CEASING

Whatever arises, let me dwell in the Central Way.

Let there be a place of stillness in the midst of turmoil.

Let there be a place of ease amid dis-ease.

Let there be a place of order in the chaos.

Let there be a place of Love and beauty in the midst of fear and ugliness.

Let my presence be a beacon of enfolding radiance in every circumstance.

....No matter what.

Any given individual Thai--female or male--in a given situation may not be conscious

of this prayer, but I sense that It is built in the Bhuddist Way, carefully sustained for

thousands of years, and now represented by "Mai Pen Rai."

I am farang and humbly put this reply on the table. It would be up to a head Monk to

confirm or not. I lived with an Issan Thai family in the rice-growing region for 2.5 months,

none of whom speak English. We lived harmoniously together every day of the 75 or so days.

I did chores, food buying in the market, some handyman projects etc.--just being with my

host family in their culture in acceptance and mutuality.