Dear Abby

[Mossfinn]

Anyway you lot are missing the point.

If the guy is with a bar girl then he isnt cheating! He is simply paying for her company, now if he was with a non bar girl then i would say he was cheating.

'Nuff said

[Boo]

Talk like what? Cheating pig? Sorry I didn't realise we had such a sensitive soul posting here. I can assure you that there are stronger words & opinions than mine being expressed so try not to swoon

[MonkeyHouse]

Hey boo

Why did you delete my post that stated in it you called the guy "A CHEATING PIG"

Boo did not ,I did, Comments in open forum regarding mods actions is a no no.

I am in a benevolent mood that is why it was only deleted and no other action taken.

Take it as a friendly reminder of where the boundaries lie.

Yes sir!

[MonkeyHouse]

Talk like what? Cheating pig? Sorry I didn't realise we had such a sensitive soul posting here. I can assure you that there are stronger words & opinions than mine being expressed so try not to swoon

Im not the sensitive one am i? I would the say the person that d.......ermm i will stop right there.

[Boo]

best to, yes.

[F1fanatic]

...

May i ask your reason why you are on Thaivisa? Please dont tell me your on some kind of revenge thing from what your nasty husband did to you are u?

You are obviously determined to be banned. Hopefully sooner than later, eh?

Not at all mate, i just dont beat around the bush, i say it how is it, at least what i think it is

There is no reason to be shy on this forum, nobody knows you do they?

I love responses like Monkeyhouses! I try to offer constructive advice from experience and am told that I shouldn't be on TV!! Sorry, revenge is irrelevent, I was trying to respond to the post,sorry if it wasn't the answer you wanted!

[MonkeyHouse]

...

May i ask your reason why you are on Thaivisa? Please dont tell me your on some kind of revenge thing from what your nasty husband did to you are u?

You are obviously determined to be banned. Hopefully sooner than later, eh?

Not at all mate, i just dont beat around the bush, i say it how is it, at least what i think it is

There is no reason to be shy on this forum, nobody knows you do they?

I love responses like Monkeyhouses! I try to offer constructive advice from experience and am told that I shouldn't be on TV!! Sorry, revenge is irrelevent, I was trying to respond to the post,sorry if it wasn't the answer you wanted!

Sorry to presume f1finatic. my apologies

Yes have some fun here, thats what thailand is all about isnt!

Keep smiling

[dingdongrb]

Definately invite them to join you , because hypothetically ,I am at the next table, and I want to see how you talk your way out of a Bobbit job when the "bar lady" says , " Hi GH , hav,nt seen much of you at the bar lately".

Opinion....

Deduction..... Knowing a lady is a prostitute and which bar she works at is not the sort of information you gain from reading tea leaves.

Opinion that he will get a 'Bobbit' job... You never know when he gets home his wife may find that sort of thing exciting for him and give a special 'BJ'... and the 'BJ' that I am referring to is not a 'Bobbit Job'.... (NOTE: Not all women in the world are not the same, some women get 'turned on' by seeing their mate with another woman, hence the reason for a "three-some"..)

[F1fanatic]

Definately invite them to join you , because hypothetically ,I am at the next table, and I want to see how you talk your way out of a Bobbit job when the "bar lady" says , " Hi GH , hav,nt seen much of you at the bar lately".

Opinion....

Deduction..... Knowing a lady is a prostitute and which bar she works at is not the sort of information you gain from reading tea leaves.

Opinion that he will get a 'Bobbit' job... You never know when he gets home his wife may find that sort of thing exciting for him and give a special 'BJ'... and the 'BJ' that I am referring to is not a 'Bobbit Job'.... (NOTE: Not all women in the world are not the same, some women get 'turned on' by seeing their mate with another woman, hence the reason for a "three-some"..)

OK. I give up. Farang women do not find it "exciting", and want to know if their partner is scr.....ing someone else. Hence they want to know in the scenario mentioned. I wouldn't dare to presume about the Thai wife equivalent.

[dingdongrb]

OK. I give up. Farang women do not find it "exciting", and want to know if their partner is scr.....ing someone else. Hence they want to know in the scenario mentioned. I wouldn't dare to presume about the Thai wife equivalent.

Is that all farang women or just the ones you are speaking for?

[scotwumman]

It goes for all the farang women that I know also. This thread has been allowed to deteriorate to a dreadful extent IMO and this is probably the reason why so few new topics of any kind are raised.

[MonkeyHouse]

Definately invite them to join you , because hypothetically ,I am at the next table, and I want to see how you talk your way out of a Bobbit job when the "bar lady" says , " Hi GH , hav,nt seen much of you at the bar lately".

Opinion....

Deduction..... Knowing a lady is a prostitute and which bar she works at is not the sort of information you gain from reading tea leaves.

Opinion that he will get a 'Bobbit' job... You never know when he gets home his wife may find that sort of thing exciting for him and give a special 'BJ'... and the 'BJ' that I am referring to is not a 'Bobbit Job'.... (NOTE: Not all women in the world are not the same, some women get 'turned on' by seeing their mate with another woman, hence the reason for a "three-some"..)

OK. I give up. Farang women do not find it "exciting", and want to know if their partner is scr.....ing someone else. Hence they want to know in the scenario mentioned. I wouldn't dare to presume about the Thai wife equivalent.

How do you know farang women dont? you are just 1 farang women. "You wouldnt dare presume about the thai wife equivalent?" What just 1 thai wife or all of them?

Not all farang women are like you and not all thai women are like you presume!

More importantly not all farang men are like your ex, however lots are!

Edited July 31, 2008 by MonkeyHouse

[F1fanatic]

OK. I give up. Farang women do not find it "exciting", and want to know if their partner is scr.....ing someone else. Hence they want to know in the scenario mentioned. I wouldn't dare to presume about the Thai wife equivalent.

Is that all farang women or just the ones you are speaking for?

I'm not speaking for anyone else,but I think I can safely say that farang women would want to know. Why do you ask?

[F1fanatic]

thanks Scuttswuman - what the hel_l are you supposed to do?! You try to answer the poster and get idiots answering! To look on the bright side, it nice to know how many intelllectually challenged people there are out there.

[MonkeyHouse]

[Chaimai]

OK. I give up. Farang women do not find it "exciting", and want to know if their partner is scr.....ing someone else. Hence they want to know in the scenario mentioned. I wouldn't dare to presume about the Thai wife equivalent.

I can assure you that there are some Farang women who do find it exciting.

Edited July 31, 2008 by Chaimai

[Pattaya_Fox]

Some off topic posts have been deleted.

[AFKAFSinLOS]

Do you return the introduction, introducing your wife to this couple?

Ignore the introduction?

Invite the couple to join you both?

Or some other response?

Obviously your Thai wife is the one who is most important in this interaction, so you should obviuosly show and treat her with respect of not having to spend time with the bar girl.

I would recommend to be polite, greet your friend, say hello to his ho, and then wish them a happy dinner without introducing your wife by name; you could either say my wife and I are pleased to meet you, then not introduce her name. Generally, Thai people can pick out night workers extremely easily, as can virtually anyone that has spent a lot of time here; if the woman is passable enough not to look like a night worker, then all the better and less embarrassing for your wife (as it is bad enough that she has to stand near an obvious night worker for any length of time, as a 'good person' would not hang around with people like that)

You should not ask them to join obviously; no decent person particularly wants to hang out with bar hos for anything other than ho activities. Just wish them a nice dinner, let them go on their way, and then best to never speak of the matter again, especially to the guy's wife - never be the bearer of bad news.

Typically, being that I know a lot of expats here, I run into this situation somewhat regularly, and it is unpleasant for the various GFs of mine at the time, but amusing to us to then gossip about the lack of taste in the bargirls chosen in most cases.

Totally agree with the opening post that in reality my wife is the most important person in almost every scenario...

I would disagree with your statement on decent people not wanting to hang out with prostitutes. Or perhaps I'm just not decent...

I would also like to extend a big thank you to the many Thais who helped me shed prejudices to a higher level than I ever would have done so, before I came to Thailand. Firstly by teaching me what is like to be on the receiving end of prejudice, which I never really fully understood to be honest, until I came to this part of the world. Secondly and more importantly by the very frequent opportunities I get to see Thais being prejudiced against Thais every single day on such a large scale, of which this is one example.

While I don't particularly go and seek to hang out with prostitutes for the sake of it, nor do I try and avoid them. When in a situation where there is someone being prejudiced against, I also find myself actually making a bit more of a special effort to make that person feel comfortable more than any other person in the group. So a big thank you to all you Thais out there for that. You've helped me identify things in myself that I should have been more uncomfortable about and wasn't. The beauty of once the penny drops on this, and you learn from the way many Thais exclude people and especially other Thais, it lets you apply that to virtually every minority/"lower" person who you can think of. Same for people of different colour, different gender, different sexual persuasion, different status or whatever. I feel a desire to do the opposite and include them and make an extra effort when I come across them...

To the Thais, or anyone else for that matter, that feel uncomfortable sitting in the presence of prostitutes. Tough sh*t. No matter how good a friend you are or not, you deserve to squirm and feel uncomfortable. Perhaps if you did more to include people in society in the first place, they'd have a few more choices. Besides I love the irony that the Thais have helped teach me, and by not leading by their own poor examples, I'm actually returning the favour like it or not...

In the moment a Thai or any other friend for that matter gets up and leaves just beacause of their own prejudices, and they look down on someone else, I'd actually prefer to be left sitting with the prostitute or anyone else they look down on... In my book, the moment you look down upon someone else is the moment you yourself become lower than them...

The one saddest thing about this scenario is it takes so many people getting it what I think is wrong, just for me to get it right. But thanks anyway...

Edited July 31, 2008 by AFKAFSinLOS

[AFKAFSinLOS]

Ignore her? I might scream out her name during the heat of the passion.

How do you know the wife has no idea? Did the OP state this in the limited facts given? (I didn't see it.) For all we know it might have been his 50th birthday and the prostitute was a BD gift from his wife.

Good point. It could also be the wife's 50th and his gift to her. It does happen...

Definately invite them to join you , because hypothetically ,I am at the next table, and I want to see how you talk your way out of a Bobbit job when the "bar lady" says , " Hi GH , hav,nt seen much of you at the bar lately".

Excellent post. Top marks for seeing thru GuestHouse and realising that the thread is really about his interactions with ladies of the night...

Though one does have to question your motives on why you want to see how GH talks his way out of it. Someone else with the same problem is there?... A "friend" maybe... Shame on you, find your own excuses...

[Boo]

QUOTE (AFKAFSinLOS @ 2008-07-31 22:07:45)

snip

I confused, are you saying that you look down on people (thai people mainly from the context of your post) for looking down on people? And because they do you must be right to look down on them?

[CCCP]

Just be polite, simple as that. Deal with it after should it need to be dealt with.

[stumonster]

Generally, Thai people can pick out night workers extremely easily, as can virtually anyone that has spent a lot of time here; if the woman is passable enough not to look like a night worker

rubbish - maybe they can discern the employment of a darkskinned , be-tattooed , mini skirted lady most of the time - but I don't think these women make up the majority of what you term "night workers"

would you term "hostesses" that work in the G-Clubs in bangkok "night workers" ? I doubt very much if you or "Thai people" could pick them from your average office worker , university student or shop assistant .

[MonkeyHouse]

Do you return the introduction, introducing your wife to this couple?

Ignore the introduction?

Invite the couple to join you both?

Or some other response?

Obviously your Thai wife is the one who is most important in this interaction, so you should obviuosly show and treat her with respect of not having to spend time with the bar girl.

I would recommend to be polite, greet your friend, say hello to his ho, and then wish them a happy dinner without introducing your wife by name; you could either say my wife and I are pleased to meet you, then not introduce her name. Generally, Thai people can pick out night workers extremely easily, as can virtually anyone that has spent a lot of time here; if the woman is passable enough not to look like a night worker, then all the better and less embarrassing for your wife (as it is bad enough that she has to stand near an obvious night worker for any length of time, as a 'good person' would not hang around with people like that)

You should not ask them to join obviously; no decent person particularly wants to hang out with bar hos for anything other than ho activities. Just wish them a nice dinner, let them go on their way, and then best to never speak of the matter again, especially to the guy's wife - never be the bearer of bad news.

Typically, being that I know a lot of expats here, I run into this situation somewhat regularly, and it is unpleasant for the various GFs of mine at the time, but amusing to us to then gossip about the lack of taste in the bargirls chosen in most cases.

Obviously he's speaking from experience. C'mon mate you seem to be an expert on bargirls so tell us the real reason your here?

Next time your with your various gfs then look around maybe people are gossiping about the lack of taste you have or even your various gf have for being with u!

tut tut havent you got anything else to do apart from whisper to each other about how other people look etc? very very rude

Edited July 31, 2008 by MonkeyHouse

[AFKAFSinLOS]

QUOTE (AFKAFSinLOS @ 2008-07-31 22:07:45)

snip

I confused, are you saying that you look down on people (thai people mainly from the context of your post) for looking down on people? And because they do you must be right to look down on them?

I like your thinking, but No. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to expand further though... There's a natural extension to what I wrote, which you've just highlighted, plus a trap to avoid falling into.

In my book, anyone that looks down on someone else has actually placed themselves below the person they look down on... The bit that I've then got to avoid is looking down on the person who looks down on the other person...otherwise the negative stuff just keeps perpetuating...

So that's why I say "thank you" instead...which is positive

Edited July 31, 2008 by AFKAFSinLOS

[uptou]

I would say the freind deserves to be ignored (in as polite a way as possible),because he should have buggered of sharpish when he saw you with your wife to avoid YOU,& him any possible embarasment,& if he's not the slightest bit embarassed then ignoring him probably wouldnt hurt that much.

But i suppose it also depends on how much the relationship with his wife matters to the both of them.Maybe she's out with her toyboy.

[MonkeyHouse]

Anyway guesthouse what is the point to this thread?

You're not considering doing this foolish act are you?

[AFKAFSinLOS]

Generally, Thai people can pick out night workers extremely easily, as can virtually anyone that has spent a lot of time here; if the woman is passable enough not to look like a night worker

rubbish - maybe they can discern the employment of a darkskinned , be-tattooed , mini skirted lady most of the time - but I don't think these women make up the majority of what you term "night workers"

would you term "hostesses" that work in the G-Clubs in bangkok "night workers" ? I doubt very much if you or "Thai people" could pick them from your average office worker , university student or shop assistant .

Yes I think many people in this country are excellent at spotting more prostitutes than there actually are. Just pick them all, particularly from the NE and you're sure to get the right one... A lot of people don't stop to think and don't care that they could be wrong...

I used to try and kid myself I can always spot a ladyboy, which is another one. That's rubbish too. I think I'm as good as most people, but I'm honest enough to say I've had the embarassment of mistaking a ladyboy for a girl, and a girl for a ladyboy. It's not a nice thing to do to any of them...

I'd also add that there's a fair number of "average office workers", "university students" and "shop assistants" that work a double shift in different places... Sometimes you see the black and whites earning a little extra pocket money, and sometimes you see those with a little extra pocket money using that money to become a "black and white". Then there's the story of the girl who did a little dancing by night a la birthday suit, while still selling credit cards during the day during her transition phase and career move...

One of the beauties about Thailand is things aren't always what they seem, and it seems particularly so here. Also a great place to be humbled...

Edited July 31, 2008 by AFKAFSinLOS

[AFKAFSinLOS]

Anyway guesthouse what is the point to this thread?

You're not considering doing this foolish act are you?

I thought someone above had already established that GH had done this, and now he was looking for advice on how to deal with it...

[GuestHouse]

Anyway guesthouse what is the point to this thread?

You're not considering doing this foolish act are you?

I've framed the question with some care to ensuring that it is not in itself judgmental - The point of the question is to ascertain the judgement of the people who respond. The question is one of etiquette, but also one containing at least two very clear moral points and a number of other moral subtexts.

Anyway, some interesting answers, few addressing the moral points but some taking a moralistic stance.. interesting.

Oh... and the post is not about Prostitutes. It's about your reaction to the situation I have described.

Prey continue....

Edited July 31, 2008 by GuestHouse

[MonkeyHouse]

Anyway guesthouse what is the point to this thread?

You're not considering doing this foolish act are you?

I've framed the question with some care to ensuring that it is not in itself judgmental - The point of the question is to ascertain the judgement of the people who respond. The question is one of etiquette, but also one containing at least two very clear moral points and a number of other moral subtexts.

Anyway, some interesting answers, few addressing the moral points but some taking a moralistic stance.. interesting.

Oh... and the post is not about Prostitutes. It's about your reaction to the situation I have described.

Prey continue....

An experiment right? Are you some kind of mad professor?

I like it! haha