10 Complaints That Dogs Have About Humans

[Nienke]

10 Complaints that dogs have about humans

1. Blaming your farts on me. not funny. not funny at all !!!

2. Yelling at me for barking.. I'M A <deleted>' DOG, YOU IDIOT!

3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. stop it!

5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

7. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

9. Dog sweaters. Hello ???, Haven't you noticed the fur?

Now lay off me on some of these thing's, We both know who's boss here!!! You don't see me picking up your poop do you ???

Author unknown.

[dingdongrb]

.....and we all know why men are jealous of dogs, right?

[geriatrickid]

.....and we all know why men are jealous of dogs, right?

It's cuz it's cute if they lick the plate, but when I did that my mom had a mental?

Or is it because they can eat anything and it's delicious, so the wife or g/f never says you are unappreciatiave when you don't eat the burnt glop?

Or is it cuz they can drag their bum across the carpet for quick relief?

umm, I don't know what it would be otherwise........

Edited August 2, 2008 by geriatrickid

[dingdongrb]

.....and we all know why men are jealous of dogs, right?

It's cuz it's cute if they lick the plate, but when I did that my mom had a mental?

Or is it because they can eat anything and it's delicious, so the wife or g/f never says you are unappreciatiave when you don't eat the burnt glop?

Or is it cuz they can drag their bum across the carpet for quick relief?

umm, I don't know what it would be otherwise........

It's because they can lick their own balls.....

(And you know why they do that, don't you?)

[Beardog]

Great post Nienke,

It is all true & great humor!

[Cuban]

Not sure if #10 went missing in a cut & paste accident, but may I offer.....

10. At feeding time just get on with it, open the fridge - prepare and serve the food pronto - I'm not interested in nice comments like "...who's a lucky dog today then?" this is feding time not shake paws time. Give me the food or fix a doggie level handle to the fridge door and keep it well stocked, I'll serve myself.

[Nienke]

Nice addition!

[whiterussian]

Nienke, if you have time...

There is a dog opposite my house, infatuated with the bitch behind closed gates who is on heat.

It has been camping outside the gate for about 4 days now, night and day. When it gets shooed away, it comes back in seconds.

It has mated with the bitch (im not sure successfully due to the size difference!) and the bitch seems to like the dog.

My question is: how long does a bitch stay on heat and how often? when will the dog lose interest!

and why is this dog so infatuauted? I thought dogs would be rather more random.. but this is real love!!

also made me think, is there a similar instinct in humans... we fall in love, mate, and will devote time to a partner. I wonder if the bitch is inseminated already and the dog is hanging around long enough to ensure no competing sperm will get a chance.

[bina]

the bitches' smell lingers on for a while after; the male will guard the bitch until really she hasnt got that 'scent' on her; yes its to ensure that HIS sperm is THE sperm... thats why dogs will fight over a bitch and after breeding will stand guard over her... its not true love its true hormones however, bitches can be choosy as well as dogs being choosy as to which bitch they will breed... as many of us have seen when trying to get our bitch to take our choice of mate over the 'backyard boys'...

its a three week thingy all told: first week or so she starts her heat, on days 9-12 she is fertile, the rest is just added time...

bina

israel

my dogs enjoyed the jokes and add that we should continue to leave the tv remote on the sofa as they really dont like israeli news programs and prefer the bolliwood movies that they were able to watch when the boxer was around (she changed channels very well)

[whiterussian]

Thanks Bina! on days 9-12 she is fertile

Incredible, i guess its a test of his stamina also... can he hang around long enough to hit the jackpot.

Thanks so much, its such a funny site to see. He is lying below the fence in the flower bed - occasionally looking up and wagging at his lover...

very curious.

[neverdie]

.....and we all know why men are jealous of dogs, right?

It's cuz it's cute if they lick the plate, but when I did that my mom had a mental?

Or is it because they can eat anything and it's delicious, so the wife or g/f never says you are unappreciatiave when you don't eat the burnt glop?

Or is it cuz they can drag their bum across the carpet for quick relief?

umm, I don't know what it would be otherwise........

It's because they can lick their own balls.....

(And you know why they do that, don't you?)

Just so you all know how Dingdongrb knows best, I recently snapped a picture of him at the park;