New Born. Trilingual House

[petitechevre]

i am going to have a boy in 2-3weeks and one thing that really bothers me apart from dual nationality

is language.

I still dont understand how child learn languages especialy 3

are there any tips to make sure they learn every language perfectly?

My girlfriend's thai is great, i dont really speak thai so no worries

My english is good but my accent is really not perfect, same problem with my gf

and i really want to teach the kid french but my girlfriend does not speak a word of french, so how could i teach the kid french since she's definately going to talk to him more in thai than english, i have to talk to him a great deal in english to offer him a bright future but that is definately going to give him a bad accent right? the words i can't pronounce correctly will stick?

is talking a couple hours of TV5 a week + a couple phrases here and there in french enough? or should i rarely speak to him in french, like maybe just singing and bed time stories untill he's old enough where i can explain to him the difference between english and french?

[matcube]

Hi Petitchevre,

there are at least 2 or three other topics in the Family forum dealing with bi-multi lingual families, you will find many different scenarios and comments. From what I have read, and several trilingual families I know, f you want your kids to learn three languages, and you just act naturally, they will learn them. You don't need to make any particular effort, but you should neither start thinking "ooh, it's too much for such a young child"... also, you should never try to impose any language to them, or they will reject them.

My first daughter (5 y.o. now) was brought up with two languages and the third one when she turned 3. With the second one (now three y.o.) we used two languages up to age two and then introduced the third one. They sound trilingual to me now. The third one is now 1 y and a half and is the first one being brought up with three languages; so far he seems to be receptive and understanding (and starting to talk) all of them, let's see in a year or so.

As for your questions, here are some hints of mine:

I still dont understand how child learn languages especialy 3

If you like reading, I can tell you some books I read that I found helpful. I haven't read 100 books so to advise you on the best, I read only a few and I will give you two titles, but you can search for more. I am sure other people would have different advice/opinions:

Steven Pinker - The language insticnt

Edith Harding-Esch and Philip Riley - The Bilingual Family: A Handbook for Parents

are there any tips to make sure they learn every language perfectly?

Don't be obsessed with perfection. As long as they can understand, speak, and have plenty of chances to interact, they will adjust their knowledge and fluency.

My english is good but my accent is really not perfect, same problem with my gf

The first book I recommended you advice against speaking a language that is not 100% "yours". I don't agree 100%. I am not native English speaker, still my daughter got a good grasp of English. Sure, at first she had an Italian/American accent, twisted with Indian accent from the teacher at nursery. Later on she moved to a kindergarden with British teachers and her accent changed to British so quickly. So, if your English is good enough to be able to talk fluently don't worry about the accent. There may be a different issue, though, that is your relationship with her. It's hard to express your deep feelings and thought in a language that is not yours, and this may be a toll in your relationship with the child. Having learned English as adults, and mostly in a work environment, we lack the tools to express what we felt or thought or were told when we were children. That's the only drawback I see, and I can live with it because I know I can switch back to Italian any time I want (but I rather delay it if I can, since now I am the last english-speaking member of the family and we live in Italy).

and i really want to teach the kid french but my girlfriend does not speak a word of french, so how could i teach the kid french since she's definately going to talk to him more in thai than english, i have to talk to him a great deal in english to offer him a bright future but that is definately going to give him a bad accent right? the words i can't pronounce correctly will stick?

is talking a couple hours of TV5 a week + a couple phrases here and there in french enough? or should i rarely speak to him in french, like maybe just singing and bed time stories untill he's old enough where i can explain to him the difference between english and french?

It's quite hard to find a general answer/technique. Probably whatever you chose will work. And probably, you can experiment and change your mind one or two times during the first year. For instance, with my first one I started off in English (we lived in Italy back then) and my wife in Thai. It didn't quite work out for me. It was so hard to tell a toddler "give the pencil to grandma" if grandma doesn't know what you are talking about, since it's her who has to kneel down and offer her hand so to help the child understand what you are talking about (and many examples like this one). So I gave up English and switched to Italian. Later on we moved to Thailand and enrolled the first one to English nursery. She didn't like it one bit at first. After one month I left for Italy and came back two month later. She probably "forgot" that she used to speak Italian to me, she just started to speak English (simple concept below her thai or italian ability, but stilll). I was amazed!. With the second one it was much easier: while in Thailand, we just kept Thai and English, and when we moved back to Italy (she was two) she just learned the language from scratch in 6 months from relatives and friends.

The only two pieces of advice I would give you is: 1) there is no need for the community language in the house, and 2) if you and your gf can understand each others' language it would help a lot. And don't be worry, it will work out fine!

Matcube

[singa-traz]

Speak to him in French, your wife will speak to him in Thai, and he will pick up English from the two of you when you talk each other.ool

BTW, which school would you put your kid?

[petitechevre]

Thank you for the suggestion, i will look up these books.

Think you're definately right about emotion talk, after living in los i probably lost a good part of that vocabulary would be way better to speak to him in french. Sadly my girlfriend refuses to learn french so i will have to do it all on my own

I don't know about school, might move to bangkok or back to canada when he's old enough..

Maybe tokyo if my bank account goes up, i know you have to pay good money for grade a education in thailand, so if im gonna pay id rather be in tokyo or get free top notch education in canada

[matcube]

In my opinion and experience they will not pick up a language simply because their parents speak it. My daughter didn't, and I know of other parents that had one extra "secret" language that they kept "secret" from the children; I don't know the dynamics, but in order to make sense it means they used it when the children were around (otherwise why bother...) and it has been a secret language to the children for ever.

In any event I don't think you need to worry about English for the first two years, especially if there is a chance you will relocate and/or you will send him to some English school.

matcube

[petitechevre]

hmm seems like a good point..

any monkey can learn english

definately only english schools.

[Thailsacien]

Hi Little goat

I've the same case (mother speaking Thai, father - that's me - speaking French and mye wife and myself speaking English together).

I grew up in a bilingual family (French/German-Alsacien) and the rule has always been the same parent speaks to his/her child in the same language, i.e. his/her native language, that is the on he/she knows the best.

Same rule with our daughters. If you speak only french with them and - very important - never answer when they speak to you in an other language, it works because every child wants to communicate with boths parents. But you will have to have real conversation and some activities with him. Watch some french cartoon with him, tell him stories, etc.

In our case, we have lived in France for 5 years and my 2 daughters were 2-1/2 and 4 years old when we arrived in Thailand, 4 years ago. My wife was the only thai speaking person they knew (apart some friends) and when the first one went to school, the thai teacher told us that she speaks better thai that "monolingual" children. Now we have started the bilingual school (Thai/English) experience and their adaptation was very easy and very fast.

So don't worry. Children's brain is like a sponge. Speak with him in the language you know the best - French - let your wife speak Thai, and don't worry about English. If you watch english-speaking programs at TV and speak english with your wife, your son will be able to understand this 3rd language very fast when he starts a bilingual or english-only school.

[petitechevre]

thank you, lowers the stress a lot.

can you order french cartoons dvds somewhere in thailand?

I have every disney movie but all in english

[Thailsacien]

You have "Davideo", at the ground floor of Thai Wah Tower, on Sathorn, and you can rent some at Alliance Française.

Davideo also have some French movies with Thai soundtrack/subtitle.

[luisparis]

"Think you're definately right about emotion talk, after living in los i probably lost a good part of that vocabulary would be way better to speak to him in french. Sadly my girlfriend refuses to learn french so i will have to do it all on my own'

Petite chevre,

Interesting thread, same here, kid from ethnically diverse origin ( each of the 4 grandparents of our daughter had a different mother tongue - none of it thai so moving to BKK, a country with a language foreign to all of us didn't help) and we are also confused. I thought also about speaking english to our daughter, as we don't use the language at home except a bit with the nanny and we're definetely looking at an english speaking education, but I also found it would keep more distance than necessary with the child. Considering the language diffference already keeps a gap in communication with the chinese mother (we speak french, but that's a secondary language to her which might become even more secondary now that we've moved to thailand), I would rather avoid some unnecessary distance with our daughter, especially that back home our family only gets along with latin languages. Yet I don't know about your personal situation, especially if you are canadian and not french, you might speak *really* fluently. I wouldnt worry too much about accent , there are so many accents around there is hardly a "right" one - I mean if you are quebecois you should know (I'm from southern France though, and my accent is hardly more discreete)

Good luck with your boy

Luis

[drbill]

I don't think that you will have a problem.Young childrens minds are like sponges.Our 5 yr old daughter is fluent in Thai & English & knows both alphabets. We did not do anything special. My daughter being with my wife all day learned Thai first by spoken word, & being read childrens books,hearing childrens music and later basic kid DVD's & cartoons,childrens movies some( like Disney) dubbed into Thai to have fun with.She learned English later from me ( my Thai wife is also fluent ) the same way and also by having friends her age who speak English. Now she is learning Spanish first on her own by watching Dora the Explorer childrens shows and now from her language teacher & a Panamanian Spanish / English speaking girl friend of hers. My son is 2 1/2 and like wise does not seem to be having any difficulties with either English or Thai although like my daughter his Thai is more advanced which is fine with me since Engish is much easier to learn. I only spoke very basic Thai to our daughter so she would not become confused.I spoke English to her.My daughter now tries to help me with my never ending challange to learn Thai & corrects my English at times.

Edited August 19, 2008 by drbill

[geovalin]

thank you, lowers the stress a lot.

can you order french cartoons dvds somewhere in thailand?

I have every disney movie but all in english

I have "les petits fantômes" (for 3 y o?) never open.

Original "la belle et le clochard"

some Tintin (pirated)

I could send you the copy or original (in this case, please send back within one year).

Besides DVD, we can find anything on the Internet.

If you are not disgusted or afraid you can either download them or I could download them and send them to you.

[petitechevre]

you have any ' torrent site for w/ french stuff? id rather only get cartoons though cause i cannot stand Voice overs..

id love to find 'ma sorciere bien aimé' or 'rupert the bear' in french. loved those shows.

and smurfs