How Can A Farang Have A Successful Relationship With A Thai?

[rockyysdt]

I'm sure the issues I face are not new and many here would have walked down a similar path.

I'm keen to pursue a relationship with a girl I love. I'm Australian, she is Thai.

Everyone knows building a new relationship is difficult as it is without adding the following.

• Being non professional, my abilty to earn a worthwhile income in Thailand appears to be very limited.
  
• I have a few years to go before reaching retirement age, and probably need to continue generating foreign income.
  
• Thai Visa restrictions appear to limit my access to three months each year.
  

All I want to do is live with my new partner and see where the future takes us.

I don't think bringing her to my country is the answer.

Taking her out of her environment and isolating her from her family would probably destroy what we have.

The Family is her life.

What should I do?

[rixalex]

If you've only a few years to go until retirement, why don't you stick it out in Oz until that time, and then come out here?

[teacup]

If she "LOVEs" you too, she will wait for you

I would, if I love you maak maak

[rockyysdt]

If you've only a few years to go until retirement, why don't you stick it out in Oz until that time, and then come out here?

That's what I'm doing at the moment, but interacting via e-mail & text while our youth is extinquished hasn't been very fulfilling.

[meadish_sweetball]

Thai Visa restrictions appear to limit my access to three months each year.

That's not true, at least not if you are an Australian citizen.

You can go to a Thai consulate in Australia and apply for a double entry tourist visa, which will give you 90 days + 90 days (you need to exit and enter Thailand before the expiry of your first 90 days, and when you return you will be given the second 90 day period, in force of your still valid visa). The week before your final 90 days have expired, you can go to an Immigration office in Thailand and apply for another 30 days' extension.

This gives you 210 days in Thailand. When these days are up, you may even be able to return to get a new double-entry (I believe this is at the discretion of the Consulate).

At least in the past, there used to be triple entry tourist visas, but whether these are still issued or not I cannot say.

That being said, to do this indefinitely is probably not the best idea as it does not make you any money, and if you are close to retirement age you may want to save your cents before moving semi-permanently to Thailand. Still, one such stint should give you a good indication of whether your relationship will work, and whether you really want to move to Thailand long-term.

[rixalex]

If you've only a few years to go until retirement, why don't you stick it out in Oz until that time, and then come out here?

That's what I'm doing at the moment, but interacting via e-mail & text while our youth is extinquished hasn't been very fulfilling.

Not very fulfilling but perhaps a small price to pay for securing your future.

[jimmyyy]

give it time, see if it grows if it does not, come back and meet some one else when you retire... Time is the best indicator...

[chiangmaibruce]

the distance/separation issue is just one of many you need to overcome, remember that. don't just focus on this one thing or you may just find that other issues you overlooked are in fact the main ones you need to think about.

first step is buy "thailand fever" by paiboon publishing and read it cover to cover. make sure your lady does also (you will probably have to nag her to make sure she does - Thais have little/no interest in this type of analytical stuff). But you both must be aware of the significant differences in outlook between (in this case) thais and aussies. you don;t mention how much experience she (or her family) has with foreigners. try to get the both families to read the book too (I'm being an optimist here). then talk over all the issues. without knowing the extent of the differences there will be misunderstanding, and these will lead to conflict esp. if language is also an issue. but at the end of the day it can work

good luck

[rixalex]

The best advice i could give to anyone is come out here, live by yourself, learn about Thai culture, pick up a bit of the language, and then, after 2 or 3 years, think about finding a partner. The reason why so many relationships fail is that people fall in love without really knowing who they are in love with.

[TexasRanger]

Why wouldn't it be a good idea for her to come to your country for a few years until you retire? Might be nice. It doesn't have to be full time, she could come back and visit her family (with you).

Edited August 29, 2008 by TexasRanger

[Maizefarmer]

I'm sure the issues I face are not new and many here would have walked down a similar path.

I'm keen to pursue a relationship with a girl I love. I'm Australian, she is Thai.

Everyone knows building a new relationship is difficult as it is without adding the following.

• Being non professional, my abilty to earn a worthwhile income in Thailand appears to be very limited.
  
• I have a few years to go before reaching retirement age, and probably need to continue generating foreign income.
  
• Thai Visa restrictions appear to limit my access to three months each year.
  

All I want to do is live with my new partner and see where the future takes us.

I don't think bringing her to my country is the answer.

Taking her out of her environment and isolating her from her family would probably destroy what we have.

The Family is her life.

What should I do?

Treat her/the relationship as you would a relationship with any other girl - I think too often folk get caught up with the "Thai" part of the relationship. Thai's are human beings like the rest of us, no different when it comes to the basics of human character and personality.

[jimmyyy]

i would not put to much stock in a book, each person is different, just be aware that it may be a scam, i have many friends who have had long lasting wonderful relationships with Thais, just keep your wits about you and everything should be ok. Best of luck to you sir..

[jackyseymour]

I'm sure the issues I face are not new and many here would have walked down a similar path.

I'm keen to pursue a relationship with a girl I love. I'm Australian, she is Thai.

Everyone knows building a new relationship is difficult as it is without adding the following.

• Being non professional, my abilty to earn a worthwhile income in Thailand appears to be very limited.
  
• I have a few years to go before reaching retirement age, and probably need to continue generating foreign income.
  
• Thai Visa restrictions appear to limit my access to three months each year.
  

All I want to do is live with my new partner and see where the future takes us.

I don't think bringing her to my country is the answer.

Taking her out of her environment and isolating her from her family would probably destroy what we have.

The Family is her life.

What should I do?

Don't want to bring you down or anything BUT. If she's a 'girl' and your an old geezer just a 'few years off retirement', you will have a lot more to contend with than just 'cultural' differences.

Edited August 29, 2008 by jackyseymour

[jimmyyy]

I'm sure the issues I face are not new and many here would have walked down a similar path.

I'm keen to pursue a relationship with a girl I love. I'm Australian, she is Thai.

Everyone knows building a new relationship is difficult as it is without adding the following.

• Being non professional, my abilty to earn a worthwhile income in Thailand appears to be very limited.
  
• I have a few years to go before reaching retirement age, and probably need to continue generating foreign income.
  
• Thai Visa restrictions appear to limit my access to three months each year.
  

All I want to do is live with my new partner and see where the future takes us.

I don't think bringing her to my country is the answer.

Taking her out of her environment and isolating her from her family would probably destroy what we have.

The Family is her life.

What should I do?

Don't want to bring you down or anything BUT. If she's a 'girl' and your an old geezer just a 'few years off retirement', you will have a lot more to contend with than just 'cultural' differences.

I am 35 and 2 years away from retirement, i would not call myself an old geezer

[poshthai]

My rule of thumb for my silly mates who come over here and think they know everything is,

NEVER EVER EVER get involved in a relationship unless you live here or she lives with you.You shouldnt go wrong then and it will not cost you a fortune if you are sending money,as most guys say, i am not sending money but they are.

I am sure some people have had wonderful lives on a long distance relationship but as i said use the rule of thumb and you have less chance of getting hurt.Also where is your gf from,does she work,has she got house,kids,ex thai husband/bf etc.Very important issues to bear in mind.

[long]

if you come to thailand with only one reason "love", then i will like to suggest better think more reason why you want to stay in thailand, if you cant have a very good reason now beside "love", then better wait until you get retirement.

[rockyysdt]

My rule of thumb for my silly mates who come over here and think they know everything is,

NEVER EVER EVER get involved in a relationship unless you live here or she lives with you.You shouldnt go wrong then and it will not cost you a fortune if you are sending money,as most guys say, i am not sending money but they are.

I am sure some people have had wonderful lives on a long distance relationship but as i said use the rule of thumb and you have less chance of getting hurt.Also where is your gf from,does she work,has she got house,kids,ex thai husband/bf etc.Very important issues to bear in mind.

PT.

I'm sure your rule is fail safe.

If I decided to have a relationship and went out with my list of specifications then I'd probably be fine.

I had no reason to look for a relationship.

Unfortunately I met someone by chance who I now feel empty without.

Something I didn't plan.

[rockyysdt]

if you come to thailand with only one reason "love", then i will like to suggest better think more reason why you want to stay in thailand, if you cant have a very good reason now beside "love", then better wait until you get retirement.

Yes "long".

There are many things that attract me to Thailand.

• Simple lifestyle.
  
• Thai food.
  
• Buddhist philosophy.
  
• Retreat Temples which teach meditative practice.
  
• Tropical climate.
  
• Interesting culture.
  

Just to mention a few.

I'd consider living in Thailand regardless of my situation and might retire here.

Edited August 29, 2008 by rockyysdt

[poshthai]

you mean fortunately,and love will prevail if its a good relationship.My rule of thumb is for my crazy friends who come over here but i try to adopt this with my thought process for advise,maybe be good maybe bad.

[mmushr00m]

How old are you? how old is she? how long have you known each other?

I moved to LOS to be with the wife and I am decades from retirement.

Not rich either.

It just takes alot of planning and commitment from each other and most importantly a deadline.

I worked like a dog back home to save money and when the deadline approached had a look at it and decided to do it.

Wife supported (financially and emotionally)me for months until I found a job.

There are ways to get around the visa restrictions legally.

The question is are you willing to give up what you have at home, the comforts, the familiarity, the family/friends support structure? Do you think you are adaptable to livng here full time?

Remember this is going to be real life, not a vacation.

[long]

since you know what going to do in thailand, not only for "love",and you cant wait for retirement, why not start looking job in thailand now? if you gf love you is not because of you money, get a teaching job here is not a problem. let start to be teacher 1st, then keep looking for high paid job in thailand..

[qwertz]

Give her a wage and a written contract.

[a2396]

I'm sure the issues I face are not new and many here would have walked down a similar path.

I'm keen to pursue a relationship with a girl I love. I'm Australian, she is Thai.

Everyone knows building a new relationship is difficult as it is without adding the following.

• Being non professional, my abilty to earn a worthwhile income in Thailand appears to be very limited.
  
• I have a few years to go before reaching retirement age, and probably need to continue generating foreign income.
  
• Thai Visa restrictions appear to limit my access to three months each year.
  

All I want to do is live with my new partner and see where the future takes us.

I don't think bringing her to my country is the answer.

Taking her out of her environment and isolating her from her family would probably destroy what we have.

The Family is her life.

What should I do?

Don't want to bring you down or anything BUT. If she's a 'girl' and your an old geezer just a 'few years off retirement', you will have a lot more to contend with than just 'cultural' differences.

I am 35 and 2 years away from retirement, i would not call myself an old geezer

You're going to retire at 37? I hope you have millions salted away. Otherwise, what are you going to live on in the distant future? You are unlikely to make any major money in Thailand. If you know her well enough & long enough, I would consider bringing her to your country & see how it goes.

[stephaniee]

My rule is always be wary of a thai girl willing to spend a lot of time and effort on men 1000s of miles away. If she a country girl

i would run!

Edited August 29, 2008 by stephaniee

[rixalex]

I am 35 and 2 years away from retirement, i would not call myself an old geezer

You're going to retire at 37? I hope you have millions salted away. Otherwise, what are you going to live on in the distant future? You are unlikely to make any major money in Thailand. If you know her well enough & long enough, I would consider bringing her to your country & see how it goes.

I think we have to assume that Jimmy is minted. At least that's what he'd like us to believe, like so many other posters here.

[rockyysdt]

If she a country girl i would run!

You have a reason for saying this????

[elkangorito]

How old are you? how old is she? how long have you known each other?

I moved to LOS to be with the wife and I am decades from retirement.

Not rich either.

It just takes alot of planning and commitment from each other and most importantly a deadline.

I worked like a dog back home to save money and when the deadline approached had a look at it and decided to do it.

Wife supported (financially and emotionally)me for months until I found a job.

There are ways to get around the visa restrictions legally.

The question is are you willing to give up what you have at home, the comforts, the familiarity, the family/friends support structure? Do you think you are adaptable to livng here full time?

Remember this is going to be real life, not a vacation.

Good post Mushy

[rockyysdt]

since you know what going to do in thailand, not only for "love",and you cant wait for retirement, why not start looking job in thailand now? if you gf love you is not because of you money, get a teaching job here is not a problem. let start to be teacher 1st, then keep looking for high paid job in thailand..

I can speak English but my Thai (written & vocal) is not particularly advanced.

Can I still land a teaching job?

How much would it pay?

As far as income is concerned, I'm realistic.

Love or no love, I know that being extremely poor can place a huge stress on the best of relationships.

Having a reasonable income and or assets are important to the health of most relationships.

[elkangorito]

As far as income is concerned, I'm realistic.

Love or no love, I know that being extremely poor can place a huge stress on the best of relationships.

Having a reasonable income and or assets are important to the health of most relationships.

To me, this is only true if you place a greater importance on money than on the relationship. I have chosen to be poorer for many years & during this period, had a 4 year relationship in Argentina. At no time was "money" a contention during this relationship.

Edited August 29, 2008 by elkangorito

[rockyysdt]

The question is are you willing to give up what you have at home, the comforts, the familiarity, the family/friends support structure? Do you think you are adaptable to livng here full time? Remember this is going to be real life, not a vacation.

I don't diasagree mm.

These are things I'll only be able to answer through experience.

You appear to be fortunate to have a wife who earned enough to be able to support you.

In Thailand you need to be a university graduate to earn more than a subsistence salary. Even then your pay wouldn't be flash.

What hope would the millions of working class Thai folk have to be able to support their Farang partners.