Am I Being Played?

[IsaanAussie]

Very hesitant to post, but here goes. Enjoy.

It all sounds bog-standard. But. It is possible that she's on the up and up.

Here's the old Thailand wisdom that I have a small problem with. 'She will NEVER put you before her family'.

After 5 years with my wife, I can categorically state that it isn't true in her case. (Howls of laughter in the background... Look, he says mine's different )

I am a pretty cynical not-so-old bastard. I didn't come to this conclusion easily, but I am not willing to lay out our life story on the net.

Furthermore, I also know a couple other Thai females for which this holds true.

I know Thai culture is this great monolithic unmovable thing in most peoples minds, and it holds true for the vast majority of Thai people, but it doesn't mean that ALL Thai adhere to it religiously. There are a growing number of people here that are changing their views and personal culture. A great deal depends on you, whether you can establish a personal contact - not easy if faced with cultural and language problems, not to mention the mutually-advantageous-contract style of a lot of relationships.

I wonder (maybe a poll) how many guys married to Thai females for a while would have found this after a few years together. I suspect there are a few.

ORE,

I fully support your view point and fall in line as one of the converted. Our relationship continues to strengthen as does our individual relationships with our in-laws. We are learning to appreciate the cultural differences which continue to narrow.

I honestly don't know why I read all 4 pages of posts on this issue, fascinated I suppose, or maybe because most Farangs living here for a long time have been through or seen all this before and for me it is like memory lane.

To the OP Steve, mate, life is for living. You can spend it looking in the mirror if you wish. The medical issues are easily addressed, the cultural issues are widely published, if you are serious then get educated, if not or you're a troll, get back under the bridge.

Isaanaussie

[Master Chief]

I just feel sorry for all the new guys to Thailand that have to go trough all the girl scams and lost money, some expats have gone the whole lenght, on the way to meet the good one that will stay with you in high and low.

I just got an attack again, uhh where are my depression management pills

[larvidchr]

What cracks me up is seeing all these posts from people that clearly have no compassion and very little regard for other human beings, low life's that come out to Thailand to abuse and use young girls which, they under normal circumstances would have no chance, and not enough money to do in their home country's, where their status on the partnership market is below the creep level.

Here on TV they then pretend that nobody knows the above, and post about how wonderful prospects they are for any woman, and how they recommend that others just use and abuse the "trash Thai h......s" who they themselves, if they decide to stay, choose to conveniently dump once they have found what they believe to be a good girl, the whining about how very upset and disappointed they are because they get screwed by equally cynic Thai girls is priceless, the Johns seem not to be able to fathom, that the behaviour of the Girls, pretty much reflects the lessons learned from the Johns themselves, and that we as costumers morally don't rank any higher than the Girls.

The fact is, that the vast majority of the Girls come to the tourist areas with a dream of finding mister right, and not with devious cheating and scamming plans already formed back home in Issan.

They see this as the only way to maybe break free from their social inheritance and otherwise gloomy future, where they in short order would end up with a drinking abusive cheating husband, several children they hardly would be able to care for properly with just as gloomy a future, and knowing that they at 40 would look and feel like a 65 year old from the wear and tear of farming in the sun.

It would be nice to see a little more decency and respect for all those Girls in the posts here, we are after all the only reason they are here.

I hope the OP if he really loves the girl which I don't really see reflected in his post, have good luck with this Girl, she might be just what she tell him, and then again maybe not, but without really trying it out he will never find out, keep your head on and if its all to good to be true then at least treat her with respect and pay her for her services before you move on.

Good luck to you.

Regards

Edited October 1, 2008 by larvidchr

[mmushr00m]

I say go for it if thats what you one.

Use the postings as caution but not "god's own truth".

There is something called the self forfiling prophecy (I cant spell). If you start looking at everything negative and expecting it to end up in the dumps it will. Why? "cos you get so para it affect how you look and react to everything. <deleted> look at some of the topics here, everything can be racist, theiving, scamming. A dog growled at me, bloody racist thai dog hating the farangs (just an example).

Those with negative experience will always post the negative. Those with positive the positive and those with non will post hearsay. Then you get opinionated ppl like myself that likes to hear their own ramblings

You know what she does and you're ok with it. In dec you're just coming for a visit so why fret. Just keep your wits about you and an open mind and enjoy your holiday.

In the end its up to you and only you.

Edited October 1, 2008 by mmushr00m

[tmd5855]

What cracks me up is seeing all these posts from people that clearly have no compassion and very little regard for other human beings, low life's that come out to Thailand to abuse and use young girls.

Johns seem not to be able to fathom, that the behaviour of the Girls, pretty much reflects the lessons learned from the Johns themselves, and that we as costumers morally don't rank any higher than the Girls.

The fact is, that the vast majority of the Girls come to the tourist areas with a dream of finding mister right, and not with devious cheating and scamming plans already formed back home in Issan.

It would be nice to see a little more decency and respect for all those Girls in the posts here, we are after all the only reason they are here.

Ditto.

Well put, before posters reply to anything involving a Farang - Thai relationship they should read the above, think, consider.

A lot of the guys who post will never change their views/opinions on Thai women and Thailand. No matter how much more experience they gain in life.

After living here 6 months, thought I knew it all.

After two years started to have doubts.

After 4 years realised I better start trying to understand my TGF. Certainly others can give advice if they...

1) Live here.

2) Live here with a Thai.

3) Live outside Thailand with a Thai.

If none of the above???

Might as well ask some UK guys when they are in Benidorm, what the score is with the Spanish people, city dwellers and farmers, after all they are holiday makers so should be experts. Same as farang come to Thailand on holiday.

Edited October 1, 2008 by tmd5855

[stephaniee]

This common tale reminds me of a conversation with a 747 captain regarding a reported crash where a particular alarm was being sounded in the cockpit. I questioned him why the pilot had not taken heed of the alarm. He told me there are dozens of alarms, flashing lights, buzzers. horns, shaking bits and pieces etc. He explained that at the point of GO- NO GO, it would not matter if they were all sounding..substitute topics/threads/tales as the analogy.

BTW there is/was a guy sitting on the pavements in bangkok with his whole sorry story badly written on a large scroll...he was no troll.

BTWwhere is that exquisite topic about the guy whose wife is sticking him for the 200k loan. It's my daily doose of schadenfreude and I CAN"T FIND IT

My friend who has been here 40 years (they are building a staue of him in soi 7) says "Free sex is the most expensive"

I have spent 95% of my income on the girls here, gold chains. pigs, a pick up truck, motosai repairs and on..the rest of it I wasted..but MARRY..not a chance.

WHATS UP WITH BUYING GIRLS PIGS.

[Samuian]

No, you are not being played... you are being " escorted "

..to the pyre, the abattoir or only to some cash phlebotomy until dry ?

[aussiecollin]

Run Forest, run

[ALVES]

I have lived here only 3 yrs and what I found outside the tourist areas with leave you in disbelief at the quality you can find if you look. .Just spend some time in the shopping malls and around universities.

I think he might get into trouble with the BIB hanging around a University all day.

[t.s]

where did you meet her IE Bangkok, samui ect ect ?, and what was her previous job and current if she has one??? .........

If she has no job, you can be sure she is playing you...

try reading the post before commenting

[glyph]

You are being played like a 10-cent flute. As many TVers have, you hired a prostitute, fallen in love with her, and you believe that you alone can bring happiness in her dismal life.

[jackspratt]

You are being played like a 10-cent flute. As many TVers have, you hired a prostitute, fallen in love with her, and you believe that you alone can bring happiness in her dismal life.

What a clever and perceptive person you are!

I didn't read any of that in the OP, or his subsequent posts

0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.

Can you please read the lottery result into the above, and let me know.

Thanks a million.

[jayjayjayjay]

Seems that the general concensus is that I forget going in December rather than giving it a chance? It will never work, or there is too much risk.

Mind you I dont mind taking the risk, what do I have to lose going out there a second time and see what develops, if anything. If not I cut my losses, if I dont go I will never know???

I dont think its impossible that this could work, just that there is alot of risk and I have to be careful.

I think the main concern here is that she is an escort, but escorts do marry dont they, they are human beings afterall.

I'm insulted you would ever think I am not genuine. My buffalo is sick, grannys broke her leg playing backgammon yesterday, mom has done a runner with the next door neighbour, my sisters 21 months pregnant, my brothers (16 of them) are all in jail for drug offences and they're are all innoncent, my dogs got bird flu, my cats raising 32 kitten---- pls send money!

You know what, she doesn't need to ask for money! The bottom line is, your lost in infatuation of a girl working on the wrong side of the street. Some good could come of it, but the odds are against you. There will be a time when your money is not enough and she will have to go behind your back to fund-her-family with ex-customers. That's the risk you take. Others have advised you travel here and meet girls outside of the game, highly recommended... JJJJ

[Geekfreaklover]

Schoolboy lesson #1

Never believe a whore who says she don't want money. What she means is that she wants MORE money, much MORE.

[jackspratt]

Schoolboy lesson #1

Never believe a whore who says she don't want money. What she means is that she wants MORE money, much MORE.

The total sum of human knowledge has not advanced 1 nanometre by this post.

Please feel free to come back when you have something intelligent to contribute.

[Geekfreaklover]

Schoolboy lesson #1

Never believe a whore who says she don't want money. What she means is that she wants MORE money, much MORE.

The total sum of human knowledge has not advanced 1 nanometre by this post.

Please feel free to come back when you have something intelligent to contribute.

Ok. Marry the escort girl, support her family, have lots of children and live happily ever after in Thailand. Is that Intelligent?

[koheesti]

Hi there

I know alot of people will probably be judgemental regarding thism but here goes, I wont go into all the detail but summarise the maini points.

I met a Thai girl online, who happens to provide an escort service. That was the initial intention, but then we got to like one another during the 2 weeks I spent with her. Shes educated and used to have a decent job, but allegedly used the internet after breaking up with her cheating boyfriend, shes 31 by the way. She told me her rate and I said it was quite expensive so I made her an offer , she said she would see when she meets me, was quite fussy about what I looked like etc.

At the end of the holiday she didnt ask for any money and appeared (even found money in the hotel and gave it to me) to be enjoying my company as I am a similar age to her and we got on very well sexually and personality wise, we even had a few arguments like boyfriend and girlfriend do, this had never happend to her before when meeting clients it was a more professional basis. I was ill and she looked after me, she seemed to care filling my plate when it was empty and glass etc. She even paid for some of the meal we had one day. Im going back in December and she wants me to visit her place where she grew up (maybe family). I have also spoken to one of her cousins (female) who saked me about myself and what I did.

She tells me she has no children and is quite open with me. By the way I dont find it difficult to attract women back here in Europe, so we seem a good match together. She even talked about cooking for me and if we were married she would care more for me then her MOM.

I know that she still does her job and Im fine with that, but Im not sure if Im just another client or if this is genuine (afterall she is a sort of escort), its 50/50 in my gut. We communicate now and again on MSN and email and text almost every day.

I know this might be a bit pathetic, but what are the chances this is genuine? I will probably know more in December when I return.

I would say it is likely true that this person is Thai. Everything else is likely made up.

[jackspratt]

Schoolboy lesson #1

Never believe a whore who says she don't want money. What she means is that she wants MORE money, much MORE.

The total sum of human knowledge has not advanced 1 nanometre by this post.

Please feel free to come back when you have something intelligent to contribute.

Ok. Marry the escort girl, support her family, have lots of children and live happily ever after in Thailand. Is that Intelligent?

Obviously you didn't read (or were unable to comprehend) what I said

[Geekfreaklover]

Obviously you didn't read (or were unable to comprehend) what I said

[/quote

No. Couldn't comprehend it ! Could you draw a picture?

[jeebusjones]

Mind you I dont mind taking the risk, what do I have to lose going out there a second time and see what develops, if anything. If not I cut my losses, if I dont go I will never know???

Thailand has a way of sucking people in. I first came to Thailand when I was only 19, after a six month tour of India/Nepal. I was here for only a few days, yet in that time I met a beautiful prostitute who also pretended not to care about money and did her best to convince me her feelings were genuine.

Like you, I decided to come back to "see what develops." When I returned five months later, she immediately took me to see her parents in a village outside of Udon Thani. Stayed with her family in the village for two weeks, only to find out she had another - much wealthier - boyfriend on the way to Thailand. She told me not to worry, she loved me and not him, and that we could stay together (on his money) until he came. But when the time came for that guy to arrive, she turned to ice and I got the boot.

I was still only 20 years old at the time and was fairly heartbroken. Of course the only remedy was to go out and find more prostitutes, which I did. To make a long story short, I bounced through quite a few tumultuous relationships with dodgy girls before finally realizing the foolishness of the situation - but I ended up staying in Thailand for nearly 4 years! Four years, when I had planned on 6 months maximum! And I'll probably be moving back to Thailand in a few months! It really draws you in, so be very, very careful.

If there is anything at all worrisome or problematic about your girl, just move on. So many good, beautiful girls in Thailand it is not worth the hassle. If everything doesn't feel absolutely perfect, it's not going to work.

[Huey]

Mind you I dont mind taking the risk, what do I have to lose going out there a second time and see what develops, if anything. If not I cut my losses, if I dont go I will never know???

Thailand has a way of sucking people in. I first came to Thailand when I was only 19, after a six month tour of India/Nepal. I was here for only a few days, yet in that time I met a beautiful prostitute who also pretended not to care about money and did her best to convince me her feelings were genuine.

Like you, I decided to come back to "see what develops." When I returned five months later, she immediately took me to see her parents in a village outside of Udon Thani. Stayed with her family in the village for two weeks, only to find out she had another - much wealthier - boyfriend on the way to Thailand. She told me not to worry, she loved me and not him, and that we could stay together (on his money) until he came. But when the time came for that guy to arrive, she turned to ice and I got the boot.

I was still only 20 years old at the time and was fairly heartbroken. Of course the only remedy was to go out and find more prostitutes, which I did. To make a long story short, I bounced through quite a few tumultuous relationships with dodgy girls before finally realizing the foolishness of the situation - but I ended up staying in Thailand for nearly 4 years! Four years, when I had planned on 6 months maximum! And I'll probably be moving back to Thailand in a few months! It really draws you in, so be very, very careful.

If there is anything at all worrisome or problematic about your girl, just move on. So many good, beautiful girls in Thailand it is not worth the hassle. If everything doesn't feel absolutely perfect, it's not going to work.

He's right, I came here at 26 after a equally ugly relationship with a Kuwaiti girl, thinking I would be here for 2 weeks.. I ended up being here 6 months before I went to the States, gave my dad my guns, sold off anything I couldn't take with me, and came back here.. That was in 2002.

Fortunately I stayed in Pattaya and I had some good friends, at the time, that knew the deal with them hoes and they showed me the ropes. If not I probably would have ended up like so many of these guys that think they are some how serious relationship material.

Thailand dose have the ability to suck you in. You know if its gonna happen when you first get here..you can feel it. Kinda like something inside saying "hel_l Yeah I can get used to this!" Come here, enjoy all the country has to offer but just remember to put things back where you find them. Hence, you find a girl in the bar, do your thing and then leave her there when your done. Alternatively if you find a girl who already has a good life before she met you, give her a good life that you can share.

Put things back were you found them.

I can't stress this enough, Elenore Rosevelt said it best "Learn from other people's mistakes because you can't live long enough to make them all yourself"

If your real and not a looser troll, I wish you the best of luck.

[Misplaced]

If you think you are being played than you are; unless you have history of low self esteem ofcourse

[mommysboy]

If you think you are being played than you are; unless you have history of low self esteem ofcourse

Hey, your dogs got spots!! Shouldn't you take it to a vet.

Wonder who's got the pleasure of OP's sweetheart tonight? Who knows could be a Thai Visa member.

[Shotime]

Woman can only get away with what we let them. That is if they're trying to get away with anything.

"Hence, you find a girl in the bar, do your thing and then leave her there when your done. Alternatively if you find a girl who already has a good life before she met you, give her a good life that you can share."

This infers that good girls with good lives are better capable of sharing a good life with you. It sounds good but I'm not sure it's true. In any case, who says good girls don't play?

"If there is anything at all worrisome or problematic about your girl, just move on. So many good, beautiful girls in Thailand it is not worth the hassle. If everything doesn't feel absolutely perfect, it's not going to work."

I wonder how many good, beautiful girls in Thailand that are not at all worrisome or problematic, much less makes it feel absolutely perfect (which means, I guess, that they don't play), he's met in Thailand.

It sounds very boring, and bourgie to me.I don't see where he's being played, and I still think he should send her the money from his 2 week holiday with her. The OP seems to feel some attraction to the girl.

[unforgiven]

Very hesitant to post, but here goes. Enjoy.

It all sounds bog-standard. But. It is possible that she's on the up and up.

Here's the old Thailand wisdom that I have a small problem with. 'She will NEVER put you before her family'.

After 5 years with my wife, I can categorically state that it isn't true in her case. (Howls of laughter in the background... Look, he says mine's different )

I am a pretty cynical not-so-old bastard. I didn't come to this conclusion easily, but I am not willing to lay out our life story on the net.

Furthermore, I also know a couple other Thai females for which this holds true.

I know Thai culture is this great monolithic unmovable thing in most peoples minds, and it holds true for the vast majority of Thai people, but it doesn't mean that ALL Thai adhere to it religiously. There are a growing number of people here that are changing their views and personal culture. A great deal depends on you, whether you can establish a personal contact - not easy if faced with cultural and language problems, not to mention the mutually-advantageous-contract style of a lot of relationships.

I wonder (maybe a poll) how many guys married to Thai females for a while would have found this after a few years together. I suspect there are a few.

Ya the rock hard whores sometimes are not that family centered.....................they've been excumunicated Mr.in the know!!!!

[unforgiven]

Very hesitant to post, but here goes. Enjoy.

It all sounds bog-standard. But. It is possible that she's on the up and up.

Here's the old Thailand wisdom that I have a small problem with. 'She will NEVER put you before her family'.

After 5 years with my wife, I can categorically state that it isn't true in her case. (Howls of laughter in the background... Look, he says mine's different )

I am a pretty cynical not-so-old bastard. I didn't come to this conclusion easily, but I am not willing to lay out our life story on the net.

Furthermore, I also know a couple other Thai females for which this holds true.

I know Thai culture is this great monolithic unmovable thing in most peoples minds, and it holds true for the vast majority of Thai people, but it doesn't mean that ALL Thai adhere to it religiously. There are a growing number of people here that are changing their views and personal culture. A great deal depends on you, whether you can establish a personal contact - not easy if faced with cultural and language problems, not to mention the mutually-advantageous-contract style of a lot of relationships.

I wonder (maybe a poll) how many guys married to Thai females for a while would have found this after a few years together. I suspect there are a few.

Do you understand what boon kun means?

[Bizz]

there is one born every day and where ever is the op gone.

[Ulysses G.]

How do you think I should proceed? SHould I give it a chance in December or just tell her that this is not going to work and see how she reacts?

You say that you attract women easily in your own country. Why would you even consider a relationship with a woman from another culture who speaks another language who is involved in sex work with other men while you are seeing her?

I have seen such relationships work out on occasion, but usually it was a 60 year old man and a 20 year old girl and they were both willing to put up with all the differences for their own reasons. If you are so attractive to women where you come from, you should not even consider getting involved any further.

[Loz]

As the shoe maker says, Just do it.

Mai me arai ja sear!

[bendejo]

She even talked about cooking for me and if we were married she would care more for me then her MOM.

There it is, she told you herself. Thais are not very good liars, they usually overdo it, and this is a shining example.

When they make up stories they tend to stretch it into the twilight zone -- beyond belief. (BTW, twilight zone has nothing to do with teenage vampire movies). Thaksin's ramblings are a perfect examples ("How could I be funding terrorists? I was shopping that day, didn't you see the picture?")

Have your fling on your next visit, then back to Europe, then come up with your own bullsh_t story as to why it has to end.

You have been warned.

Edited July 27, 2010 by bendejo