How Do You Handle It?

[bkkjames]

In 4 1/2 years of marriage I have not been unfaithful once.

Being hetero-sexual I could do all sorts of things to some of these girls that would result in my being banned should I repeat it on TV, of course I can be tempted but my #1 rule is never to touch. This includes/especially on my occasional visit to cowboy etc, and by no touching that includes things such as sitting on my lap.

The thing is for me that I am able to think of the consequences: At worst being caught or at best having to live with my own guilt for what is basically just a drunken shag, I am also able to see just how stupid I would be to risk my marriage because of nothing more than falling for a nice ass. With this in my mind I am able to convince myself that I am not at all interested in actually committing the act, rather it is better that I just keep it a fantasy.

I think that it also helps that I have a good looking wife that I am still very much attracted to physically, and with whom I share an active sex life.

Don't worry GBDJ - your wife is not a member of TV (that's what she told me last week,shhh).

On a similar theme to this thread, the New York Times or some other big name paper did a survey of guy's in there 80s and 90s on their deathbeds as to the biggest regret they had in their lives, the overwhelming response was they 'didn't shag enough women during their lives'.

I think that I met my quota during a 6 month stay on an 18-30's resort in Kavos, Corfu.

Corfu, that's in Greece no? Men don't count mate. What was the topic of this thread?

[JimsKnight]

I love these threads,

They always turn into the free-wheeling single men-about-town versus the married ones who are usually tucked up in bed and who seem to resent anyone who is single having a blast through life and sleeping with more than one partner

To me the whole 'love' thing is a bit over-rated now and is manipulated to sell a lot of consumerist crap.

It does exist but more for the woman who is after her man for support and kids. The man sometimes gets caught by the womans love vibe and settles into it. Long marriages usually result. But long and happy marriages these days are quite rare.

For me life is a lot more fun being single, you are your own boss, no-one tells you what to do and nags you. You wear your own crown of destiny (to an extent).

90% of couples I've met in Thailand and in the west usually have the male trapped somewhat with his lot in life. But some people are suited to a married lifestyle. I know I'm not, I've been on the move and travelling too much to even want to slow down and get hooked.

Man is meant to be the hunter, it's written into our genes and characteristics, some more than others. Once kids come crawling along life becomes too boring for my liking. Not everyone is supposed to have kids, and I hate those that seem to 'expect' others to follow their wife and 2 kids example. If we all did that the earth would be even more overcrowded and crazy.

On the same note, being single isn't for everyone either. I've had conversations with depressed farang who aren't even married, but are upset with their Thai girlfriend.

'Look, if you aren't happy and it is making you sad, why the hel_l are you still with her then?' I tell him.

After a sullen silence I get the shy little truth peeping its head. 'I get too lonely on my own.' He meekly mutters.

Another time there was this guy just pacing back and forth in a bar, like a raging demon on the brink of armageddon.

Turns out he was missing his girlfriend who was being a bit nouty and not around for him to be with. So he was all over the place.

So some needy guys can do better NOT being single, as they do well with a wife mentally.

I think it might be some subconcious fear that if they die they have to be around someone, at least, that's what some college chick doing psychologist stuff told me

Think a man could have spent years 'hunter gathering' having a ball, before settling on the one partner then..

The OP was more looking for advice on how not to sleep with the 'college chick'.....not thinking about death!!!

So what? I can give an opinion on the larger picture you know. Threads are supposed to sway and move about a bit.

Lighten up and quit being negative.

Ok, you're assuming a womans standpoint with biological clocks ticking and so forth. Men can sire sons and be sexually active into their late 70s so just because some people settle into a groove doesn't mean all have to

Lilyjade, you really seem like a feminazi making sweeping and carpet statements like all the girls who are smiling at the OP are prostitutes.

Small wonder a lot of farangs complain about the attitude western women (typically UK) have.

[lifeisrandom]

guesthouse you have no idea what you are talking about

OPs lack of desire to sleep with fat women is also a product of human evolution

The perception of beauty relates to culture - not evolution. Doh!

thankyou GuestHouse.

i think that some of you should remember that in some societies,particularly in africa, the bigger the woman, the more sought after she is.

to say that a fat woman will not be desired is absolute rubbish. thats like saying a fat man wont be desired, and i see plenty of them around with bits of fluff hanging off of their arms.

to the OP, i say grow up. there is no harm in looking, but that doesnt mean you have to sleep with every woman who looks at you. sure.....youre handsome....i bet you get told that every day.....i have news for you. its all part of the game.

fat is or has been fashionable in some cultures but never sexually desirable by the majority of men

do you think "big hair" is sexually attractive to Thai males? perhaps they wish to have a wife with big hair because its fashionable and a status symbol to do so and it sends out a signal to all the young thai women with thin waists that they are a good provider and thus a good mate to have sex with

what is fashionable has been and is still dictated by women not men.

men in all cultures have been attracted to women with thin waists. this is an evolutionary fact. sure, some guys like fatties but most certainly do not.

i suggest you do some reading on evolution and sexual choice if you are willing to be open minded, although unfortunately it seems that your minds have already been made up.

Edited October 24, 2008 by lifeisrandom

[bkkjames]

guesthouse you have no idea what you are talking about

OPs lack of desire to sleep with fat women is also a product of human evolution

The perception of beauty relates to culture - not evolution. Doh!

thankyou GuestHouse.

i think that some of you should remember that in some societies,particularly in africa, the bigger the woman, the more sought after she is.

to say that a fat woman will not be desired is absolute rubbish. thats like saying a fat man wont be desired, and i see plenty of them around with bits of fluff hanging off of their arms.

to the OP, i say grow up. there is no harm in looking, but that doesnt mean you have to sleep with every woman who looks at you. sure.....youre handsome....i bet you get told that every day.....i have news for you. its all part of the game.

fat is or has been fashionable in some cultures but never sexually desirable by the majority of men

do you think "big hair" is sexually attractive to Thai males? perhaps they wish to have a wife with big hair because its fashionable and a status symbol to do so and it sends out a signal to all the young thai women with thin waists that they are a good provider and thus a good mate to have sex with

what is fashionable has been and is still dictated by women not men.

men in all cultures have been attracted to women with thin waists. this is an evolutionary fact. sure, some guys like fatties but most certainly do not.

i suggest you do some reading on evolution and sexual choice if you are willing to be open minded, although unfortunately it seems that your minds have already been made up.

RE: The big hair. You are totally wrong. The guys with wives with Big Hair syndrom are usually the guys with bigs bucks who also have mia noi syndrom. If anything, the Big Hair is no attraction / the opposite. Stick to klong toey.

[Mattchu9999]

Men and woman are not meant to co-habitat or "live together for ever". You've been TOLD that your "supposed" to get married and live together as a couple for ever. Right. That's just political/religious hogwash, and a system of control.

We are no more different than the animals that roam the planet.

We age to reproductive maturity and then we fall apart until we die. We are programed to recognize the pheromone, and audio and visual cues that attract us to the opposite sex so that we can further the human race by breeding.

hmmm... a clown philosopher

You know your right. As a Klingon you would be the first to point out that we are different in the fact that we wage war against our own species on an unprecedented scale. Man's inhumanity to man is evident even on these boards. Only in our cars and on the internet can we experience our true nature as humans to attack, insult and inpune with reckless abandon.

[bonobo]

fat is or has been fashionable in some cultures but never sexually desirable by the majority of men

do you think "big hair" is sexually attractive to Thai males? perhaps they wish to have a wife with big hair because its fashionable and a status symbol to do so and it sends out a signal to all the young thai women with thin waists that they are a good provider and thus a good mate to have sex with

what is fashionable has been and is still dictated by women not men.

men in all cultures have been attracted to women with thin waists. this is an evolutionary fact. sure, some guys like fatties but most certainly do not.

i suggest you do some reading on evolution and sexual choice if you are willing to be open minded, although unfortunately it seems that your minds have already been made up.

Actually, I would say that fat women have been more deisrable than skinny women for more years and for more cultures. Look at old artifacts such as the Venus of Willendorf, pre-Columbian figures, and anciant figurines from the Middle East. All trumpet fuller figures.  Look at the the paintings of the Renaissance.  It is not just Rubens who had a predeliction for heavy women. And even today, through out much of Africa, fat women are considered more desirable to the point that women go to "fat camps" to make sure they are nice and fat for their wedding day.

I would say that on an evolutionary standpoint, fat is more desirable, and the attraction to thin waists has been a fairly recent phenomenon.

Personally, yes, I do prefer a thinner woman all else being even, but while that may fall in line with many men in today's western and Asian societies, that goes against the norm for most of human history.

[Mattchu9999]

Actually, I would say that fat women have been more deisrable than skinny women for more years and for more cultures. Look at old artifacts such as the Venus of Willendorf, pre-Columbian figures, and anciant figurines from the Middle East. All trumpet fuller figures. Look at the the paintings of the Renaissance. It is not just Rubens who had a predeliction for heavy women. And even today, through out much of Africa, fat women are considered more desirable to the point that women go to "fat camps" to make sure they are nice and fat for their wedding day.

I would say that on an evolutionary standpoint, fat is more desirable, and the attraction to thin waists has been a fairly recent phenomenon.

Personally, yes, I do prefer a thinner woman all else being even, but while that may fall in line with many men in today's western and Asian societies, that goes against the norm for most of human history.

That's where "Reubenesque" comes from...

But as medicine advanced and the truth about the hazards of obesity became more mainstream the theory of a well fattened up woman being more healthy than a trimmer fitter woman began to fade....but only in countries that we're more advanced in their medicine.

I'm sure there are quite a few cultures left where it is professed that having to roll over twice to get off your woman means you've caught yourself a "keeper".

[bkkjames]

That's really interesting stuff guys, the reuben sandwich info was particularly enlightening.

To paraphrase: In the old days some guys liked gals with a little meat on their bones, correct? And that over time the definition of beauty has changed to that of a more slimmer waisted version, ok got it.

To conclude: To a sperm whale, a beluga looks tiny but to a killer whale, they all look good.

[Lilyjade]

Yet again another women who think she knows everything when she know <deleted> all.

Complete nonsense post lilyjade.

There you go selfowning again.

Thinking I am a woman therefore discrediting my post.

I am a man.

It is very easy to get cute girls.

Do it while you already have a girl= lie and cheat =bad human.

You are already unfaithful in your brain walking around

constantly drooling over other girls, while you are in a relationship.

You dont deserve any respect.

A lost case IMHO.

[bangkokboro]

In defence of soya sauce i thought you were a woman too why wouldn't i with a name like lilyjade!

[Boo]

(SoiSource @ 2008-10-24 13:20:46)

Yet again another women who think she knows everything when she know <deleted> all.

Complete nonsense post lilyjade.

Nice attitude there soicauce, suggest you rethink posting if you don't want to hear other posters opinions, male or female. As to your op, presumably other men either control themselves or risk it, if the latter one can only hope they dont pass anything nasty to their poor wives & take the right precautions.

[Misplaced]

Sorry girl x but men and women are different. Men have something different which makes them naturally attracted to other women even if they are married. Im not talking about cheating im talking about how to deal with it?

Maybe im just weak biggrin.gif

you must be weak, and pretty stupid too if you believe women are not attracted to anyone other than their husbands. it's called self control and loyalty. learn some.

The difference between MENS and BOYS is simply SELF CONTROL.

What did I do about it? NOTHING.....I look, I enjoy, but I never touch. Not hard really!

Men or old men and boys? You got me confused now because im a man not a boy.

Anyway keep the topic rolliing as im still none the wiser.

I agree with YOUR statement marked in red above

Look, I'm not speaking in terms of physical age here. It's one's mental state

Hmm..on second thought, may be you should ask your wife to explain it to you

[G54]

Yet again another women who think she knows everything when she know <deleted> all.

Complete nonsense post lilyjade.

There you go selfowning again.

Thinking I am a woman therefore discrediting my post.

I am a man.

It is very easy to get cute girls.

Do it while you already have a girl= lie and cheat =bad human.

You are already unfaithful in your brain walking around

constantly drooling over other girls, while you are in a relationship.

You dont deserve any respect.

A lost case IMHO.

What a load of tosh IMHO.

Most men will always look at a pretty woman. Being caught doing so by our other halves is a different matter

Why is it unfaithful to look at a nice apple shaped ass or a pair of pert breasts or a pair of shapely legs? Men have always looked at other women. I have been looking at shapely women for years, yet have never been physically unfaithful. It is natural to look and when I stop looking I know I will be dead

[SoiSource]

(SoiSource @ 2008-10-24 13:20:46)

Yet again another women who think she knows everything when she know <deleted> all.

Complete nonsense post lilyjade.

Nice attitude there soicauce, suggest you rethink posting if you don't want to hear other posters opinions, male or female. As to your op, presumably other men either control themselves or risk it, if the latter one can only hope they dont pass anything nasty to their poor wives & take the right precautions.

Why does everyone think im cheating on my wife with bargirls? and now without using condoms. lol

Mind you though boo its seems to be the women who pre judge me more on this op.

This is meant to be a thread were men particpate not scores of women come running and speed type there way to utter drivel.

[SoiSource]

Yet again another women who think she knows everything when she know <deleted> all.

Complete nonsense post lilyjade.

There you go selfowning again.

Thinking I am a woman therefore discrediting my post.

I am a man.

It is very easy to get cute girls.

Do it while you already have a girl= lie and cheat =bad human.

You are already unfaithful in your brain walking around

constantly drooling over other girls, while you are in a relationship.

You dont deserve any respect.

A lost case IMHO.

What a load of tosh IMHO.

Most men will always look at a pretty woman. Being caught doing so by our other halves is a different matter

Why is it unfaithful to look at a nice apple shaped ass or a pair of pert breasts or a pair of shapely legs? Men have always looked at other women. I have been looking at shapely women for years, yet have never been physically unfaithful. It is natural to look and when I stop looking I know I will be dead

You know when im walking down the street with my THAI wife, she often nudges me and says hey teerak look at that girl over there. She is narak isnt she? so i have to look, i dont mind at all lol. Thats a difference between a average thai women and farang women i guess hence the reason SOME women on here are saying i have cheated just through using my eyesight.

[Boo]

did I mention bargirls? Or do you assume that so called "good girls" wouldnt' carry some std's.

Also if you read very carefully & slowly you will see I answered your op & didn't presume you were cheating on your wife at all. But hey, no need to worry about women falling over themselves to get to you, open your gob & they'll be sure to lose interest

[Boo]

removed post flaming poster for only reason except they have a "female sounding" username. Get over it, they have said they are a man, their username is of no relevance.

[SoiSource]

did I mention bargirls? Or do you assume that so called "good girls" wouldnt' carry some std's.

Also if you read very carefully & slowly you will see I answered your op & didn't presume you were cheating on your wife at all. But hey, no need to worry about women falling over themselves to get to you, open your gob & they'll be sure to lose interest

I presume 95% of the members on here are men so i guess that would make the remaining 5% women? lol but 50% of the snide remarks on this topic are from men 50% from women. Doesnt add up does it? Especailly when men are meant to answer the OP not women!

[SoiSource]

Anyway back on topic guys.

Ps boo you have a really annoying avatar.

[Misplaced]

did I mention bargirls? Or do you assume that so called "good girls" wouldnt' carry some std's.

Also if you read very carefully & slowly you will see I answered your op & didn't presume you were cheating on your wife at all. But hey, no need to worry about women falling over themselves to get to you, open your gob & they'll be sure to lose interest

I presume 95% of the members on here are men so i guess that would make the remaining 5% women? lol but 50% of the snide remarks on this topic are from men 50% from women. Doesnt add up does it? Especailly when men are meant to answer the OP not women!

Great mathmetician you are

May be you should have wrote "women need not reply" so everyone knows it's for men only.

[SoiSource]

did I mention bargirls? Or do you assume that so called "good girls" wouldnt' carry some std's.

Also if you read very carefully & slowly you will see I answered your op & didn't presume you were cheating on your wife at all. But hey, no need to worry about women falling over themselves to get to you, open your gob & they'll be sure to lose interest

I presume 95% of the members on here are men so i guess that would make the remaining 5% women? lol but 50% of the snide remarks on this topic are from men 50% from women. Doesnt add up does it? Especailly when men are meant to answer the OP not women!

Great mathmetician you are

May be you should have wrote "women need not reply" so everyone knows it's for men only.

Mathemetician im not just curious to why the girls come and stick the beak in.

Well misplaced it doesnt take a genuis from the original post to know that i am a man and i am asking men how to deal with it. Maybe i should of put the word MAN in there so it would be easy for you and others to understand. ok?

[Lilyjade]

I presume 95% of the members on here are men so i guess that would make the remaining 5% women? lol but 50% of the snide remarks on this topic are from men 50% from women. Doesnt add up does it? Especailly when men are meant to answer the OP not women!

I share this acc with a woman.

Its pretty handy, since people

like you comprehend a reply differently

if it was written by a woman or a man

It is terrible still 2008! Exactly the same words

mean different things

if it is a man or woman saying the words

Now you are getting rude with your deleted insults,

as well saying:" women have

nothing to add about this topic?"

Women are often more emotionally intelligent than men.

Some people may find you honest and friendly but

in this thread you present yourself as a rude, liar.

Why are you thinking about cheating on your wife?

I dont care if you have some moraly corrupt male friend

patting you on the back saying: "go on cheat on her, we all do in BKK"

No matter how you put it it is a bad thing to do.

At least be honest and tell her you want to be a swinger.

[GungaDin]

It's better to have one bird in the hand than two in the bush there at least at home. soisaucer,

Personally, I'd rather have two in the bush, any day.

[SoiSource]

I presume 95% of the members on here are men so i guess that would make the remaining 5% women? lol but 50% of the snide remarks on this topic are from men 50% from women. Doesnt add up does it? Especailly when men are meant to answer the OP not women!

I share this acc with a woman.

Its pretty handy, since people

like you comprehend a reply differently

if it was written by a woman or a man

It is terrible still 2008! Exactly the same words

mean different things

if it is a man or woman saying the words

Now you are getting rude with your deleted insults,

as well saying:" women have

nothing to add about this topic?"

Women are often more emotionally intelligent than men.

Some people may find you honest and friendly but

in this thread you present yourself as a rude, liar.

Why are you thinking about cheating on your wife?

I dont care if you have some moraly corrupt male friend

patting you on the back saying: "go on cheat on her, we all do in BKK"

No matter how you put it it is a bad thing to do.

At least be honest and tell her you want to be a swinger.

Yes, there's love if you want it

Don't sound like no sonnet, my lord

Yes, there's love if you want it

Don't sound like no sonnet, my lord

My lord

[OlRedEyes]

Be brave and ditch monogamy. It ranks with religion in selling a lie.

[lifeisrandom]

guesthouse you have no idea what you are talking about

OPs lack of desire to sleep with fat women is also a product of human evolution

The perception of beauty relates to culture - not evolution. Doh!

thankyou GuestHouse.

i think that some of you should remember that in some societies,particularly in africa, the bigger the woman, the more sought after she is.

to say that a fat woman will not be desired is absolute rubbish. thats like saying a fat man wont be desired, and i see plenty of them around with bits of fluff hanging off of their arms.

to the OP, i say grow up. there is no harm in looking, but that doesnt mean you have to sleep with every woman who looks at you. sure.....youre handsome....i bet you get told that every day.....i have news for you. its all part of the game.

fat is or has been fashionable in some cultures but never sexually desirable by the majority of men

do you think "big hair" is sexually attractive to Thai males? perhaps they wish to have a wife with big hair because its fashionable and a status symbol to do so and it sends out a signal to all the young thai women with thin waists that they are a good provider and thus a good mate to have sex with

what is fashionable has been and is still dictated by women not men.

men in all cultures have been attracted to women with thin waists. this is an evolutionary fact. sure, some guys like fatties but most certainly do not.

i suggest you do some reading on evolution and sexual choice if you are willing to be open minded, although unfortunately it seems that your minds have already been made up.

RE: The big hair. You are totally wrong. The guys with wives with Big Hair syndrom are usually the guys with bigs bucks who also have mia noi syndrom. If anything, the Big Hair is no attraction / the opposite. Stick to klong toey.

are you completely illiterate? having a wife with big hair is like having a rolex or a benz... its a status symbol that says to young girls "come to daddy".

[jackr]

Ps boo you have a really annoying avatar.

I think it's quite sexy. Yours is pretty annoying though.