Does Your Thai Partner Want To Live In Isaan?

[Svenn]

From what I've heard, Thai women usually seem to want to move to and live in Western countries, so I've always wondered how the wives/gfs of farangs living in Isaan feel about remaining there. Are some of them bitter about having to stay? Maybe the reality is that many go to a Western country for a few months then realize they like Thailand better? I ask because my gf and I have visa problems that probably won't allow her to ever come to the U.S. (she was born male gender but changed before i met her) and U.S. immigration doesn't recognize "same-sex" marriage for purposes of the fiance visas (F1&3). She always talks about how she wants to 'live in ameri-gah' and it breaks my heart, I'm hoping I could comfort her by saying most sao lao want to come back to pathet isaan anyway....

Edited October 28, 2008 by Svenn

[Dave the Dude]

Hi Svenn

Family bonds are strong,especially in Isaan.

When I was working I gave my (now) wife a comparison of what she could buy/do here in Isaan and what it would cost me to pay for her to experience 'my world' in the UK. As she is a sensible & mature lady, she understood the crazyness of the idea and we now have built a small shop instead. I think the 'grass is always greener' effect can work both ways on any culture,especially with the young.

Dave(happy in Isaan)

[pnustedt]

I've taken my wife several times to UK (my home country) and she has no desire to live there. It's quite amusing that people there thought how lucky she was to be able to immigrate and quite surprised that we have no desire to leave Asia. They seem to believe that they are the centre of the world.

We lived in HK for 10 years and she was happy there, I much prefer Thailand.

[ubonjoe]

My wife and I both from the beginning of our relationship had no desire for us to ever live in the US permanently.

While I was working there we tried to get her a visitors visa but she was denied more than once.

Now that both of us can now prove we have strong ties to Thailand I don't we will have a problem going for a visit.

Every relationship and the husbands personal situation is different.

There are a lot of couples that go to the husbands home country because that is where his work is and as soon as they are able to do it they return to Thailand.

You have a unique situation and with US law being what it is makes it a difficult one.

[Issangeorge]

My wife became a Canadian Resident and we lived there for a couple of years, but she was very happy when I said we could retire in Thailand. My experience with talking to Thais and what my wife says is most don't want to leave Thailand and only go abroad because that is where their husband/wife lives and works. It may be different for young, educated, ambitious, Thais, but I think most uneducated Isaan girls would rather stay in Isaan. Issangeorge

[TexasRanger]

My Mrs is just as happy in Bangkok as the UK but prefers the option to swap between the 2, we have got around the Issan part by having a house built in Issan as a holiday home.

[147SAG]

My wife became a Canadian Resident and we lived there for a couple of years, but she was very happy when I said we could retire in Thailand. My experience with talking to Thais and what my wife says is most don't want to leave Thailand and only go abroad because that is where their husband/wife lives and works. It may be different for young, educated, ambitious, Thais, but I think most uneducated Isaan girls would rather stay in Isaan. Issangeorge

My wife just returned from Canada in September and is happy to be back home after spending the last five years in Canada and the very cold winters up north, but she finds it very hot in Thailand and is still adjusting to being back home. Just as she returns home her sister has gone to the U.S. and got married there so it maybe a few years before she returns home as her husband can't retire for awhile yet. I think they think the grass is greener over here, but once they stay for awhile they miss what they had at home. Her sister finds it hard to find Thai food in there area in the stores where it was easy in Canada to find what she needed for cooking Thai food.

Edited October 29, 2008 by 147SAG

[jay-uk]

Our story is the reverse of what many have said here. My wife moved to UK 8 years ago and has settled into life here with a small circle of friends both Thai and English, she drinks tea every day (Probably because she has seen my mon & dad drinking 20+ cups a day), drives our son to school each morning and knows exactly which shops have all the best ingrediants to make thai food when she wants (Isaan stinky sausage was prepared for her friends only last night). Our two boys are divided in their tastes as one loves English food and the other only likes Thai food. In fact she has settled so well to the point where I have a hard time getting a holiday over in Thailand with the family as she rarely wants to go back. She loves her family back in Ubon as most Thais love the family they leave behind but she feels life in the UK is better for us as a family. We both would like to retire over in LOS once the children have grown up but other than that I would say it is me who pushes us to visit every year or so and my wife would be quite content staying in the UK or decorating our bathroom as she is painting today to tidy up down stairs. I'm no good at DIY so she has give up waiting for me to ask a painter and decorator to come and do the job. I'm very proud that she has adjusted to life here. At this point I would say she likes UK more than I do at present but not all Thais find it easy to adjust. We do see many Thais here that do not like the life with long cold wet winters but they usually return back home in a short space of time. If they have no love for their partners then they are usually on a plan faster than you can imagine staright back to Thailand. If you do not have a strong bond then life in the west can be just as tough but in other ways. Cost of living is so high that it puts a lot of pressure on famillies here to cope especially when household utility bills and mortage payments are so high these days.

[hazman]

I have been married to my wife for thirty years and her urge to return to Thailand has always been there, as the saying goes you can take the Thai out of Thailand but you can’t take Thailand out of the Thai.

[GarryP]

My wife has absolutely no desire to live anywhere but Thailand. We went to the UK about 18 years ago and stayed for a few months, which was a few months too long for her.

[PaddyThai]

Interesting topic.

My wife moved with our daughter and me to Ireland about 10 years ago. We made a long term plan to work and live here till kids (now 2 girls) finished college. Wife has many friends through collecting kids from school etc. Years ago we used to romanticise about returning to our house and farms in Khon Kaen. All that slowly changed, every time she rings home she hears more negative news about corruption, crime, economy etc. She would much prefer to stay here (different crime I guess!!). Her Thai friends all feel the same. They get tired of the constant reminders from relatives who genuinely need money to survive.

So now, my wife and all her Thai friends here have no desire to return to Thailand.

Bad luck for me as I know I would be very happy and relaxed in our affordable retirement there. Retiring in Ireland, and maybe most of Europe, is not an attractive proposition.

[Shotime]

I thought this was a poll, and got tricked into wanting to participate.

[jay-uk]

Interesting topic.

My wife moved with our daughter and me to Ireland about 10 years ago. We made a long term plan to work and live here till kids (now 2 girls) finished college. Wife has many friends through collecting kids from school etc. Years ago we used to romanticise about returning to our house and farms in Khon Kaen. All that slowly changed, every time she rings home she hears more negative news about corruption, crime, economy etc. She would much prefer to stay here (different crime I guess!!). Her Thai friends all feel the same. They get tired of the constant reminders from relatives who genuinely need money to survive.

So now, my wife and all her Thai friends here have no desire to return to Thailand.

Bad luck for me as I know I would be very happy and relaxed in our affordable retirement there. Retiring in Ireland, and maybe most of Europe, is not an attractive proposition.

This mirrors our previous post and the thoughts of my wife & I. As much as I love the thought of moving there in my old age with my wife there are so many other factors to consider in future. The economy is driving interest rates down not up around the world, house prices are sliding fast, pension funds are suffering and currencies are weakening against the baht. This all affects the viability longer term for Thailand as it becomes more expensive to travel or live there when compared against other countries. I can't believe for one minute that the people already retired there living on offshore savings are not sweating at the moment with the current economic climate. All said and done the real reason I could never stay in Thailand well into my old age would be health care. After seeing my son become sick in UK it made me appreciate how important your health is. Most take chances living out in Thailand without cover only to return back to the west when their health runs into more serious problems. We know a couple of people who have had no choice but to return to Uk with heart problems as they could not afford treatment locally. No matter what cover you have the Thais will always find a way out of paying if you do not use a reputable company. Even if you can get cover initially most insurers will not cover you into your late 70's anyhow so how long can anybody really stay there unless you throw caution to the wind. Let's face it how many 80/90 year old farangs do you see walking around, I've not seen many in Thailand. I've seen people in the 50's, 60, and a few in there 70's but older than that they are not to be seen much. You can only draw public pensions now when you are over 65 in UK so unless you plan to retire early off your own savings then most would have difficulty funding a move to LOS. However, I still dream of spending more time there in future but sadly feel those chances are fast slipping for the masses who have not already made the move before times go bad.

[micky44]

hi there, my wife (from udon) has been in the UK with me now 2 1/2 years, hates to go back to thailand, over here she has 2 jobs goes to college to better her education, does not send one penny home, both her parents have jobs so why should she she says, she has money in her pocket which she has ernd through her own hard work, which in its self has given her a tremendous feeling of self worth and self respect, she does not have to ask me for money to buy things she wants.we go back to thailand next thursday for 4 months but she is not looking forward to it, and no i dont mess about, or at least i dont get caught! all in all and this is not ment to offend but she says, thais are stupid! her words not mine, as for me i hate the uk!!

[Svenn]

Glad to see that so many wives/gfs wants to live in or return to isaan. the two posters that said they didn't seem to be, no offense, a little bitter (mickey- 'doesn't send one penny home', or paddythai- tired of crime and hearing about needy relatives back home) ...i just hope my gf isn't similarly bitter and would develop homesickness! I'm thinking maybe in the future if we're still together, I'd take a 3 month break from work or something and just rent a house in a town in Australia or the UK to show her what Western life is like, hopefully in the winter too , so she'd develop a sense of whether she really wants to live in the US. If she still does, I'll have to think about buying some scuba equitment so she can slip across a Canadian border lake incognito

[Dave the Dude]

Glad to see that so many wives/gfs wants to live in or return to isaan. the two posters that said they didn't seem to be, no offense, a little bitter (mickey- 'doesn't send one penny home', or paddythai- tired of crime and hearing about needy relatives back home) ...i just hope my gf isn't similarly bitter and would develop homesickness! I'm thinking maybe in the future if we're still together, I'd take a 3 month break from work or something and just rent a house in a town in Australia or the UK to show her what Western life is like, hopefully in the winter too , so she'd develop a sense of whether she really wants to live in the US. If she still does, I'll have to think about buying some scuba equitment so she can slip across a Canadian border lake incognito

Hi Svenn

Good idea, the winter thing, my mate did the same and it worked, his G/F hated the cold.

Dave

Edited October 30, 2008 by Dave the Dude

[Gary A]

It would be a hard sell to uproot my Thai wife. I like to think she would go with me but I sure wouldn't want to test her.

[prakhonchai nick]

This mirrors our previous post and the thoughts of my wife & I. As much as I love the thought of moving there in my old age with my wife there are so many other factors to consider in future. The economy is driving interest rates down not up around the world, house prices are sliding fast, pension funds are suffering and currencies are weakening against the baht. This all affects the viability longer term for Thailand as it becomes more expensive to travel or live there when compared against other countries. I can't believe for one minute that the people already retired there living on offshore savings are not sweating at the moment with the current economic climate. All said and done the real reason I could never stay in Thailand well into my old age would be health care. After seeing my son become sick in UK it made me appreciate how important your health is. Most take chances living out in Thailand without cover only to return back to the west when their health runs into more serious problems. We know a couple of people who have had no choice but to return to Uk with heart problems as they could not afford treatment locally. No matter what cover you have the Thais will always find a way out of paying if you do not use a reputable company. Even if you can get cover initially most insurers will not cover you into your late 70's anyhow so how long can anybody really stay there unless you throw caution to the wind. Let's face it how many 80/90 year old farangs do you see walking around, I've not seen many in Thailand. I've seen people in the 50's, 60, and a few in there 70's but older than that they are not to be seen much. You can only draw public pensions now when you are over 65 in UK so unless you plan to retire early off your own savings then most would have difficulty funding a move to LOS. However, I still dream of spending more time there in future but sadly feel those chances are fast slipping for the masses who have not already made the move before times go bad.

It's easy to come up with numerous reasons not to settle in Thailand, especially if you are not keen to do so, as it would appear you are not. If you wanted to come, I'm sure you would not find it that difficult. Health care is important, and insurance IS available for life, even if you turn 100. The cover I have is not age related, you remain at the same age for premium purposes as you were when you started. I drink every week with a farang well into his 80's (he's as fit as a fiddle) How many golden oldies do you drink with in the UK? Most people that age in the UK, are huddled around the fire wondering how they are going to pay all the bills, and no doubt just waiting to die. If you own your own home in the UK, then even with diminishing prices, with the average value around £200,000, that would give you 11 million baht, more than enough for a great life, and with the state and any other pensions to come at a later date, assuming you are currently under 65.

But turning to the thread subject, my wife realises that life overall here in Thailand, despite it's many problems, is far better than it would be in the UK or Europe in general, with its exhorbitant prices, and has no wish to leave, other than for a short holiday.

[ronthompson]

I have live in Thailand nearly four years, 2 in Bangkok and the last two in a small village outside Huairat, I have tried many times to have my travel out side of Thailand but she has no desire to leave Thailand at all.

when I bug her about it she responds that everything is here we need and I do agree. I am very happy in my little compound, We go to Bangkok every three months for my eye check ups and spend a few days shoppinf and enjoying the big city life.

I do believe you can be very happy with village life if it can supply your needs.

[jay-uk]

This mirrors our previous post and the thoughts of my wife & I. As much as I love the thought of moving there in my old age with my wife there are so many other factors to consider in future. The economy is driving interest rates down not up around the world, house prices are sliding fast, pension funds are suffering and currencies are weakening against the baht. This all affects the viability longer term for Thailand as it becomes more expensive to travel or live there when compared against other countries. I can't believe for one minute that the people already retired there living on offshore savings are not sweating at the moment with the current economic climate. All said and done the real reason I could never stay in Thailand well into my old age would be health care. After seeing my son become sick in UK it made me appreciate how important your health is. Most take chances living out in Thailand without cover only to return back to the west when their health runs into more serious problems. We know a couple of people who have had no choice but to return to Uk with heart problems as they could not afford treatment locally. No matter what cover you have the Thais will always find a way out of paying if you do not use a reputable company. Even if you can get cover initially most insurers will not cover you into your late 70's anyhow so how long can anybody really stay there unless you throw caution to the wind. Let's face it how many 80/90 year old farangs do you see walking around, I've not seen many in Thailand. I've seen people in the 50's, 60, and a few in there 70's but older than that they are not to be seen much. You can only draw public pensions now when you are over 65 in UK so unless you plan to retire early off your own savings then most would have difficulty funding a move to LOS. However, I still dream of spending more time there in future but sadly feel those chances are fast slipping for the masses who have not already made the move before times go bad.

It's easy to come up with numerous reasons not to settle in Thailand, especially if you are not keen to do so, as it would appear you are not. If you wanted to come, I'm sure you would not find it that difficult. Health care is important, and insurance IS available for life, even if you turn 100. The cover I have is not age related, you remain at the same age for premium purposes as you were when you started. I drink every week with a farang well into his 80's (he's as fit as a fiddle) How many golden oldies do you drink with in the UK? Most people that age in the UK, are huddled around the fire wondering how they are going to pay all the bills, and no doubt just waiting to die. If you own your own home in the UK, then even with diminishing prices, with the average value around £200,000, that would give you 11 million baht, more than enough for a great life, and with the state and any other pensions to come at a later date, assuming you are currently under 65.

But turning to the thread subject, my wife realises that life overall here in Thailand, despite it's many problems, is far better than it would be in the UK or Europe in general, with its exhorbitant prices, and has no wish to leave, other than for a short holiday.

IMO this is not totally true of everyone's circumstances and if you are single with no pre-existing health issues then yes you are probably insured well and easy. However, BUPA Thailand quoted me 30,000+ baht per month cover for my family if we were living in LOS. On your assumption that a choice few may own the whole of their homes without mortgage and can retire with £200K in the bank generating @ 5% per annum interest then they would enjoy upto £833 (45,000baht)/month less the 30,000 for inssurance leaves only 15k baht to exist. Sorry but even if I was fortuante enough to have 200K in the bank then that would still not be enough to insure my family and live comfortably over in Thailand. There are members of my wife's family who use local Thai insurers but one has already had her fingers burnt with them not paying out on a claim so only reputable companies could be used I feel and they usually are costly. Everyone's different with different circumstances. I love Thailand too but would find it difficult to retire there fiancially with two children that need educating properly and if all my budget was set aside for insurance then how would we find it possible to pay tuition fees at a decent local school in future. It is OK for the single guy or couple who have kids that have already grown up but for younger children and famillies there is more to consider than having enough money each day to sit at your local watering hole.

Edited October 30, 2008 by jay-uk

[benfica]

hi there, my wife (from udon) has been in the UK with me now 2 1/2 years, hates to go back to thailand, over here she has 2 jobs goes to college to better her education, does not send one penny home, both her parents have jobs so why should she she says, she has money in her pocket which she has ernd through her own hard work, which in its self has given her a tremendous feeling of self worth and self respect, she does not have to ask me for money to buy things she wants.we go back to thailand next thursday for 4 months but she is not looking forward to it, and no i dont mess about, or at least i dont get caught! all in all and this is not ment to offend but she says, thais are stupid! her words not mine, as for me i hate the uk!!

i am in the same situation, my wife has been living in australia for the past 14 years however she is totally against my wishes of living in thailand.she still loves visiting thailand, she feels there is no future in thailand for our teenage daughter as the level of education in australia is much more advanced.

[rockyysdt]

Everyone's different with different circumstances. I love Thailand too but would find it difficult to retire there fiancially with two children that need educating properly and if all my budget was set aside for insurance then how would we find it possible to pay tuition fees at a decent local school in future. It is OK for the single guy or couple who have kids that have already grown up but for younger children and famillies there is more to consider than having enough money each day to sit at your local watering hole.

How about six monthly rotation between the two countires?

Load up on income in your country and spend some in paradise.

Best of both worlds.

[BigSnake]

Thailand 100 percent for my lady, no ifs ands, or but about it. A short visit home with me for the New Year and a couple of birthday parties around the same time is plenty for her.

[micky44]

i wonder if the reason why a lot of the above posters wifes do not want to settle in the west is that they would will miss there thai husband / boyfriend !!!!!!!!!!!! haha this post has got to be deleted! you just watch!

[londoedan]

i wonder if the reason why a lot of the above posters wifes do not want to settle in the west is that they would will miss there thai husband / boyfriend !!!!!!!!!!!! haha this post has got to be deleted! you just watch!

Pathetic contribution to an otherwise interesting topic. Use of English is poor also.

Good arguments either way. We intend to re-locate from Thailand to the UK when our daughter reaches 11, primarily for her schooling. Hopefully will return at a later date for my retirement. Best laid plans though can go awry.

[PaddyThai]

i wonder if the reason why a lot of the above posters wifes do not want to settle in the west is that they would will miss there thai husband / boyfriend !!!!!!!!!!!! haha this post has got to be deleted! you just watch!

Pathetic contribution to an otherwise interesting topic. Use of English is poor also.

Good arguments either way. We intend to re-locate from Thailand to the UK when our daughter reaches 11, primarily for her schooling. Hopefully will return at a later date for my retirement. Best laid plans though can go awry.

Londoedan,

We had lived in Thailand for about 10 years and left just before they devalued the Baht back in the 90s. Sorry can't recall exact dates. Our intention was to just come for a year for my daughter to learn English. We had a good life in Thailand and both of us had romantic notions of returning. Trouble with having a plan is that life gets in the way. In many ways we've both enjoyed our time in Ireland. My wife has worked here as a translator, drives her own car, is studying massage and does lots of things she would never do in Thailand.

I think open minded Thais become immersed in their host countries culture and become more empowered here. They then find it difficult to tolerate all the crap around status, losing face etc. they see when they return to Thailand. Women are perhaps not given the same opportunities to develop in Thailand. These are not my views but my wife and her friends.

Bitter Irish guy,

Joe

[abdulrahman]

How about six monthly rotation between the two countires?

Load up on income in your country and spend some in paradise.

Best of both worlds.

This was my dream.I'm retired,hve the time and the means to buy a small house,say on a small Greek island,Milos or Alonissos are two choices,and pass 6 months there and 6 months in Isaan.But my wife has her family,her job and her 13y.o. son here,she doesn't like to leave Thailand even for a 2 week holiday(2-3 days shopping in Singapore or HK is OK),so for the next time it will have to be a dream.

[Gary A]

i wonder if the reason why a lot of the above posters wifes do not want to settle in the west is that they would will miss there thai husband / boyfriend !!!!!!!!!!!! haha this post has got to be deleted! you just watch!

Why delete it? Leave it right here so everyone can see what a stupid-ass you are. Did your wife have a Thai boyfriend/husband? Have you ever been to Issan or do you just stay in Pattaya? Or perhaps you have never even been to Thailand?

[micky44]

oh dear gary little bit touchy there i think, hope i never touched a bit of a raw nerve!

[PaddyThai]

Sorry to see this thread has gone off topic.

I was enjoying reading it.