Though I may be longish in the tooth, some things about females (one of very few - I've sorted most female quirks out thru the years in me warped mind) still get me.

My dear wife appears in front of me this not so sunny morn, like a vision from heaven, lifting up her top to reveal an enticingly flat stomach, and states, with a face and voice that reflects the anguish in her tortured mind, "I'm fat. Am I fat?"

Now I know this is a common thing. But my guffaws of laughter didn't seem to impress, and I have never been able to find the right answer to this no-win question that females use to trap men into feeling that they have to do something to make up for the pain they've caused their loved one with whatever answer they may try.

I've discussed this with mates, but though they, like me, are sensitive human beings, their suggestions never seem to work. So I ask the ladies. Seriously, what answer can a man give that would border on satisfactory? Or is the question simply designed by females to extract guilt and some form of ransom from the guys?

Firsly, never laugh, secondly say you look beautiful in my eyes, thirdly - why do you have to ask this question?

Oh, and sorry does my bum look big in this?

Edited December 2, 200817 yr by Patsycat

Gotta admit, laughing is not a good response.

And if she is asking for approval that probably means that you haven't given any in quite some time. What really works best are spontaneous comments when she has made an effort.

ie "Wow, you look great in that, I really like how it shows off your flat tummy" for instance

I always said yes. Now she never asks.

Yes, it was difficult in the beginning. Alot of nasty looks and comments directed my way but the pain was worth it.

Now I need to find a way out of the "how does this dress/blouse/skirt/outfit/shoes look?" questions.

Just say no. That's all we want from you. See we aren't complex!

Gotta admit, laughing is not a good response.

And if she is asking for approval that probably means that you haven't given any in quite some time.

Thanks sbk. You've prolly hit the nail on the head. Didn't think of it that way.

"Me fat Honey, you look luverly tonight"

Just joking. I've been too preoccupied for months now, and a few true compliments are overdue.

Edited December 3, 200817 yr by OlRedEyes

agree, nix on the laughing.

i think the proper response to any kind of "oh my god, i'm ugly" crisis is: "you look perfect" and if pushed for more detail, you can say, "you look absolutely perfect to me."

and don't get pulled into anything more. engaging in conversation about it is doomed.

sometimes that kind of question is asking for reassurance (in which case, you gave the right answer), but sometimes, it's just an outward expression of a personal doubt (in which case, you gave the right answer). sometimes she is just pushing to get the acknowledgment she desires (in which case, again, you gave the right answer).

so either way, saying "you look perfect" is the best answer. if you can add a little drool or lascivious look to that, it helps ;^)

oh, and the answer to the "which dress should i wear" question (if you don't have a strong preference) is "you look great to me no matter what.. which one do YOU like best?"

Here's my problem. When I say that I see females as equals, I really mean it. So I normally have a problem with passing comment or giving answers that pander to their quirks. To my mind that is something you do to people who who run on flat batteries.

And the flip side. "Hey, Honey, I'm bloody horny". What response do I get? Does she handle it sensitively? Not too many women do......

Edited December 3, 200817 yr by OlRedEyes

engaging in conversation about it is doomed.

hammock woman is right... tell her she doesn't look fat and then change the subject. or ask her "do i look fat?" and see how she feels.