Death With Dignity

[flowerpower08]

My wife is a recent parapalegic, having suffered a tragic car accident that left her paralyzed from the chest down. She has limited use of her hands, and her spine is broken so that she cannot hold her head up. Even though the accident was 3 months ago, we get bad news from the doctors every day - infections, fever, loss of control, diminshed motor capability, etc. She just wants to die, and I support her wish, as the life ahead of her will only be pain, frustration, anger and isolation.

In our native country, there are locales that offer assisted suicide, or death with dignity. We both have legal health directives from our lawyers there that define our wishes.

What can we do in Thailand? Is there any such thing as death with dignity, or do the hospitals want to take every baht we've got?

Thanks for your advice and inspiration. BTW, I support my wife in her decision, as hard as it is after 30 years of marriage to a wonderful life partner.

FlowerPower08

[Sheryl]

Active euthanasia is not legal in Thailand. However, Thai law recognizes a patients right to refuse treatment, and doctors and hospitals will usually respect a spouse's decisions if the patient is unable to speak for themself. In fact the main communications are usually between the doctor and the family as there is a reluctance to speak frankly with the patient altho western-trained doctors are better in that regard. These are plentiful in bangkok but scarce elsewhere.

You will need to be very assertive with the doctors though (in a nice way of course).

The larger problem is not getting them to respect your wishes in terms of not administering life prolonging measures but in getting adequate palliative care, thai medicine is very backwards in that realm. There is only one hospital I am aware of (and only 1 doc there!) specializing in palliative care, this is Bangkok Hospital, Dr. Laksamee Chanvej . She mostly works with people with terminal cancer, but if your wife is in pain or serious discomofort it may be worth consulting her. However, you must understand that all you can expect or request is pain relief, not active euthanasia. For that, you would need to go back to your own country.

If you and she can accept letting nature take its course, then with some trial and error, and providing you are in or not too far from Bangkok, I think you can get medical care that will limit interventions per your request and reasonable pain relief.

Sorry to hear you and she are faced with this tragic circumstance.

[kimamey]

I can't offer any advice as I am in UK but I felt I had to write something as I have been through something similar. My wife was diagnosed with primary progressive multiple sclerosis in late 1996 and died in August 2005 about 3 weeks short of 31 years of marriage. Although we never got to the stage of assisted suicide I know she felt she'd had enough especially when she got to the point she could do nothing for herself. At least we were in our own country although even then knowing what to do and how and what help we could get was difficult.

All I can say is I hope you and your wife get the help you need and you are able to live the rest of your life in as much happiness as possible.