Hi everyone,

I have to ask you a question, because I cannot find an answer by myself.

In Thailand. if a girl's finger has a ring, does it mean she is married? Or is it possible to wear a ring just for accessory?

This is very important for me, cuz I like a girl very much, I always think about her, I always want to see her.

But we have never spoken. And I don't know even her name.

But I saw a ring on her finger, maybe two rings.. So I am worried about it now.

Please let me know anything about this "ring" thing in Thai culture.

Thanks to those who will answer to this question. C U.

IMO, if the ring is on her wedding finger then she has either gotten engaged or married. Not all Thai wear a wedding ring but I have not personally seen anyone wearing a ring on the wedding finger just as accessory.

Right hand usually means married - least that's the feedback I get. However why don't you just ask?

what if both hands?

I mean I guess I saw two rings, one on right, one on left, but I cannot remember which fingers..

but what would happen to my feelings if she is married

You find a new bird to have feelings for...

come on, are you sure, you say she must be married?

but.. I cannot have feelings when I want. it is not like choosing someone.

it is natural love.. without thinking n choosing.. i just fell...

My point is - ask her if she is married or not - if you don't ask you will never have the opportunity.

No clue if she is married or not - not enough information.

Um. I gotta say it. You cannot be in love with someone you have never spoken to. Its called lust, attraction, whatever. but love? No.

Talk to her, she may not even be interested in you and if not then all this angst over a ring would have been pointless.

so if you say it cannot be love, it means you dont believe in love at first sight. it is not lust or something else, cuz it is not about body or attractiveness. it is about the way she looks, walks, smiles, behaves, etc..

but this is someone in my workplace, it is a big one, and there are maybe 50 people working. but her department is not related with mine. so I never have a chance to speak. I just see her during some break times or after work..

by the way, I never speak with women, I speak only if they ask something.

so, how can I ask such a person "sorry, are you married" ))

i think the answer might be a slap on the face

so, how can I learn, I am really confused, what to do now?

Have you ever tried normal conversation? Talk to her like you would any other normal human being? Weather, something in the news ... you know... conversation

and no, its still not love. Your attraction is based on superficial aspects. You can really have no idea what kind of person she really is.

in fact u got a point, I really dont know what kind of a person is she. I don't know her. I just have some ideas based on what I see.

but, as I told be4, I don't go and speak with people. I am kind of shy, silent, cold person.

so, in the society I live now, my going and asking her name or weather is same with going and telling her I love her.

bcuz everyone knows I don't talk, especially with women... so if I go and speak, everyone will understand my love.

and if she is married, this would be a very bad thing for me.

u see.. I am not an ordinary guy. and it is like I have walls around.. I can't do many things, cuz of my personality..

Speaking about trolls, or?

what do u mmean?

Well you are at an impasse then..... don't chat up women, and shy. This equals, no opportunity for you when it comes to the lady in question.

Seriously if you never speak to her, how do you think you will get to know her?

Is this thread obvious or not.............. please credit us with more intelligence.................

Someone with a ring is tied into a relationship, otherwise it would've been sold by now.....!!!!!

Get Real.............

but the ring is a thin something like silver one.. looks like an accessory.

enough of the ring fixation. i think that there are bigger problems do deal with here. if you do find out that shes not married, then it sounds like you are too shy to approach her, so what does it matter?

you can ask someone at work who knows her perhaps?

we all have walls up to a degree, so if you REALLY want to get to know her, you just have to knock them down for a bit.

good luck though.

Surgunn, If you can't speak to her, how will she ever know you are interested in her?

Sorry, but I think you've got it badly. Get in there and good luck!!

I tend to agree with the other women. You need to forget about the ring and start dealing with your own issues. How can you ever hope to meet a girl if you can't even talk to her? You certainly can't fall in love with someone you've never even met. Time to face whatever problems you have, work through those and then finding a compatible girl will not be difficult.

thanks for help..

but, 4 me, your suggestions are like this;

imagine that there is a blind person who cannot see, and you tell him "try to see"..

so, in the same way, my walls are not deliberately built... they are there, naturally.

I mean, who wants to be alone? as Amy says, "anything is better than to be alone.."

but.. this is me.. I can't talk..

but in this issue, the problem is.. first I need to know whether she has somebody in her life or not.

if there is nobody, then I can move on to second step more easily.

and, you ask me how can I show my love if I cannot speak.

come on, there are many ways to do that.. maybe even now she knows I am interested in her.

you ask how? u see, I stay away from women, too shy. but, whenever I see her, I stand still there, and look at her eyes, I can't keep my eyes off her.

so.. it was easier before until I saw the ring.

now it is difficult for me. cuz I don't want to bother a married women. but on the other hand, I am not sure if she is married or not.

and I cannot ask for someone else's help. cuz I don't have a close friend, and I don't want other people to know this.

but.. it is certain that if I can learn that she is not married, I can move on..

so..

complicated...

Is the ring on her wedding finger?

If yes, then back off. If not then go for it

But your assumption that she will pick up on these non existant signals is foolish. You either make a move or don't but making excuses for not doing it is childish imo. Have you thought for a second that your standing & staring at her actually creeps her out rather than her "knowing" how much you "luv" her.

May i ask, how old are you?

creep? do you mean this makes her angry?

I am 25. I know u think I behave like a child, but in terms of women or girls, yes, I am like a child.

I did not have girl friends, the girls close to me were my own sisters only. I can't talk with girls unless they come and ask something.

OK, maybe u laugh at me, but what can I do, this is my problem I know..

but being shy does not mean do not fall in love, right?

I don't remember which finger..

Ever think in the time you are pussy footing around, some other lad might come along and do what you are incapable of doing?

How about sending an email?

Edited January 2, 200917 yr by britmaveric

sending an email? to her? yes, this is exactly what I am capable of

but I don't know her address.

yes you are right, I am waiting without doing anything.

cuz this is a 5-day long holiday. I cannot see her until monday. and I am sad..

A ring can be there as a deterrent.

The g/f asked me to buy her a gold ring for her wedding finger to stop men coming on to her as she was due to start work at the sugar factory as the sugar season started.

No, we are not married, but she wants people to know she is in a relationship.

However, unless you talk to her, how will you ever know if it is simply a barrier or a true commitment to someone? Shy? Talk to someone who knows her. Bring up the subject of seeing the ring and say something along the lines of, 'Oh, I see xxx has a ring on her finger. Is she married / engaged?'

Either that or suffer in silence and forever wonder at a possible opportunity missed.

if thats the case, then I think I will take the silence and suffer.. and miss this opp.

cuz the more I think, the better I understand that: the possibilities are two weak.

first, she must not be married. second, she must be alone, without a boyfriend. these are difficult, cuz of the ring, and beside she is so cute that she cannot be alone I think.

and what is more, even if she is alone, why should she love a man like me.. am sure she can find better ones..

so, at the beginning of this topic, I was too optimistic I think.. when I think, I understand that this can't be real.

thanks 4 everyone 4 help

if thats the case, then I think I will take the silence and suffer.. and miss this opp.

cuz the more I think, the better I understand that: the possibilities are two weak.

first, she must not be married. second, she must be alone, without a boyfriend. these are difficult, cuz of the ring, and beside she is so cute that she cannot be alone I think.

and what is more, even if she is alone, why should she love a man like me.. am sure she can find better ones..

so, at the beginning of this topic, I was too optimistic I think.. when I think, I understand that this can't be real.

thanks 4 everyone 4 help

come on ladies, please it sounds like someone that isn't right confident!!!!!! if i was you mate, i would try to make conversation with her, and then steer the conversation to husbands/boyfriends, if she has one, then back off, you aint lost no face, or if she hasn't you can take it at your own pace, but just don't be to slow or pushy!!!!! and make them giggle!!!!

thanks for help..

but, 4 me, your suggestions are like this;

imagine that there is a blind person who cannot see, and you tell him "try to see"..

so, in the same way, my walls are not deliberately built... they are there, naturally.

I mean, who wants to be alone? as Amy says, "anything is better than to be alone.."

but.. this is me.. I can't talk..

but in this issue, the problem is.. first I need to know whether she has somebody in her life or not.

if there is nobody, then I can move on to second step more easily.

and, you ask me how can I show my love if I cannot speak.

come on, there are many ways to do that.. maybe even now she knows I am interested in her.

you ask how? u see, I stay away from women, too shy. but, whenever I see her, I stand still there, and look at her eyes, I can't keep my eyes off her.

so.. it was easier before until I saw the ring.

now it is difficult for me. cuz I don't want to bother a married women. but on the other hand, I am not sure if she is married or not.

and I cannot ask for someone else's help. cuz I don't have a close friend, and I don't want other people to know this.

but.. it is certain that if I can learn that she is not married, I can move on..

so..

complicated...

ANY friend could find out for you. Or do you not have ANY friends?

did someone say "confidence"?

I never said I have! I know this is my problem.

you know what, when I was at college, I cannot ask many things to girls from my class, even homeworks.. so I failed many courses

but, once I was in love with a girl from another department, I saw her coming down the street, I went and made her stop and then ask her name and some other things.. it was very different from "usual me". but I did it that time.

but now.. I cannot do this, cuz this is my workplace, and I am sure that when I took a step, everyone will hear about this issue, and this will be a problem for my job.

I mean it is very difficult for me.. you tell me "go and start a conversation and talk about friends or marriage, etc." come on.. I don't know even her name. How can I just 'go and speak'? is it really that easy?

by the way, there is another small problem I didnot tell you: she is Thai, and I am not. and I cannot speak Thai, only some phrases. )

so.. what will happen next in this story?

Soundman will you pleases move this to the knitting section? Or is this troll allowed to continue for days on end? Or just refer to the next kindergarden