Take Care?

[lujanit]

I've been coming to Thailand for a few years and thought I had some idea, maybe not! I've 'sorta' hitched up with this woman (I'm 50 ish and she she 40+) and she keeps saying ' I must take care'. My take on this is that I must provide for her and her family with whatever it takes, money wise of course. Should I run like the wind?? Or do I have the 'take care' bit totally wrong?

TIA

[LivinginKata]

If you need to ask that sort of question.... START RUNNING

[MyphuketLife]

Can you give an example conversation? "You must take care"

The buffalo is sick You must take care....

The car payment is 6 months behind You must take care.....

My "brother" wants to move in You must take care.......

Are all valid reasons to run like you never ran in your life.

Honey I worry about your health You must take care

Honey I am horny You must take care

Honey my girl friend wants to move in You must take care

The trash bin in the kitchen is full You must take care

You almost hit that car You must take care

Those are not reasons to run.... It depends on the surrounding conversations....

[taxin]

Its quite simple, if she keeps saying "I must take care" this means she wants to take care of you.

Sounds great !! Tell her you want to a Condo (it needs to be a condo so it can be in your name), 5 baht of gold and a brand new Fortuner, and take it from there.

Let us know how you get on !

[lujanit]

The term 'take care' always seems to come up when money is somewhere in the subject. Like I said it's always 'I should take care'. From my limited knowledge of Thai Culture (if there is such a thing!) I understood that the woman must bring something of value to the relationship not the other way around. If I have it right what I'm being subjected to is what I call 'Bar Girl Culture' where all the traditional 'Thai values' are tipped upside down (no, she is not or has ever been a bar girl).

I tend to play a game with her when the subject comes up. She says give me 500k baht and I say sure, mai pen rai, just after you give me 1 million baht.

Unfortunately I don't have the link anymore but there was/is an excellent, if somewhat biased article on Stickman's Bangkok titled The Case Against Sin Shot - And Other Reasons Not To Give Thai Women Money. I may have gotten the wrong idea from that.

I think you may be right LivinginKata, if I'm asking this Q it's time to look elsewhere. I'm not due back for another couple of weeks and I think what I will do is get out of Phuket (I usually stay in Karon) and go see other parts of LOS. Pity my thai is so pathetic, so maybe some Thai lessons first.

Edit: fixing my crappy typing

Edited January 1, 2009 by lujanit

[geriatrickid]

Hmm. Well a friend of mine always says to me at the end of a call, take care. Last night after closing out a friend's new year's party and getting ready to try and cross Rat U, he goes, take care, like he knows I will probably get splattered by one of tuk tuks. So maybe, it's just being friendly?

[473geo]

She is being honest telling you to take care!! You need too!! All the beautiful young ladies around Kata and Karon, you end up with the mother of one of them!!!

[pothai]

At 40+?...how has she been taking care of whatever until this old age.

[F1fanatic]

The term 'take care' always seems to come up when money is somewhere in the subject. Like I said it's always 'I should take care'. From my limited knowledge of Thai Culture (if there is such a thing!) I understood that the woman must bring something of value to the relationship not the other way around. If I have it right what I'm being subjected to is what I call 'Bar Girl Culture' where all the traditional 'Thai values' are tipped upside down (no, she is not or has ever been a bar girl).

I tend to play a game with her when the subject comes up. She says give me 500k baht and I say sure, mai pen rai, just after you give me 1 million baht.

Unfortunately I don't have the link anymore but there was/is an excellent, if somewhat biased article on Stickman's Bangkok titled The Case Against Sin Shot - And Other Reasons Not To Give Thai Women Money. I may have gotten the wrong idea from that.

I think you may be right LivinginKata, if I'm asking this Q it's time to look elsewhere. I'm not due back for another couple of weeks and I think what I will do is get out of Phuket (I usually stay in Karon) and go see other parts of LOS. Pity my thai is so pathetic, so maybe some Thai lessons first.

Edit: fixing my crappy typing

Wherever you go in Thailand it will be no different. Thai women have learnt that farang = money.

[Syl]

As "wealthy" foreigners, we are often asked for loans - as if we were the Bangkok Bank. Needless to say, kindly farangs rarely get their money back.

Dealing with the financial needs of a Thai partner's family is a common problem. Regardless of what they might say, any loan would be regarded as a gift. It wouldn't win their love or respect either. Do you love your bank manager?

Polite attempts to seek repayment would be brushed off. More serious attempts could lead to conflict and might even put your life in danger. Your girl would have to side with her family. If she was a prostitute (or even if she wasn't), this could be the sting she has been planning all along.

Generosity is a virtue but it shouldn't be confused with lending. In a family situation, paying a reasonable dowry or giving a monthly allowance might be more appropriate. If money was the reason she married you, once it is spent or lent you are of no further use to her. Keep control of the purse strings. Take Care!!

Syl

Edited January 5, 2009 by Syl