Should I Ask My Thai Bf To Be Tested?

[Dewe]

In Nov I met a Thai boy in Pattaya and we have become great friends and lovers. I am 31 and he is 26....while there we had a brief moment of kissing...snuggling...a snippet of oral fellacio. I would hope to visit him again later this month and progress our relationship sexually but am concerned about possible STDs (HIV in particular).

I realize the paramount need to always practice safe sex and I will but regardless I truly would hope to have knowledge of his HIV status at the time. He was tested a year back and mentions he has had limited partners since but I know the statistical trend in MSM for new HIV cases has rapidly increased and a lot can happen in a year. I also realize if he does test positive there is a lot of stigma involved and I fear that there will not be support in place to attend to his emotional well being but knowledge in the matter is paramount since medical treatment can be sought and I could assist with that financially while in the US.

Should I ask him to be checked, and if positive what resources and direction should I guide him?

[wasabi]

Yes get tested suggest you both get tested not just him and if he is offended and refuses than obviously you need to change partners. If you can do the testing at the Thai Red Cross in Bangkok they have resources to deal with the possibility of a positive result.

[dotcom]

Good answer.

Can get tested at any clinic - if any positive result can get help from the next level.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Yes get tested suggest you both get tested not just him and if he is offended and refuses than obviously you need to change partners. If you can do the testing at the Thai Red Cross in Bangkok they have resources to deal with the possibility of a positive result.

I second that

[patklang]

would you get an american guy or english guy to be tested after a sexual encounter.

it depends where he works and who he frequents with,has he got thai gf or boyfriend eve,as some thais dont have to be gay to earn money.Based on your post you havent had sex with him??? only oral.If you have had sex with him then you are mad if you didnt make him wear a condom,and especialy anal sex,which is a higher risk for hiv/aids.

go with your intuition and take it from there,and ask him what he does in Pattaya,and if he is a barboy then for gods sake get a test straight away.

[mommysboy]

In Nov I met a Thai boy in Pattaya and we have become great friends and lovers. I am 31 and he is 26....while there we had a brief moment of kissing...snuggling...a snippet of oral fellacio. I would hope to visit him again later this month and progress our relationship sexually but am concerned about possible STDs (HIV in particular).

I realize the paramount need to always practice safe sex and I will but regardless I truly would hope to have knowledge of his HIV status at the time. He was tested a year back and mentions he has had limited partners since but I know the statistical trend in MSM for new HIV cases has rapidly increased and a lot can happen in a year. I also realize if he does test positive there is a lot of stigma involved and I fear that there will not be support in place to attend to his emotional well being but knowledge in the matter is paramount since medical treatment can be sought and I could assist with that financially while in the US.

Should I ask him to be checked, and if positive what resources and direction should I guide him?

Yes. I think it's necessary. The matter has been discussed at length before and this was the general viewpoint, although personally I remain unconvinced about the extent of HIV in Thailand or anywhere else for that matter. However, you've really got to go with the mainstream here.

Incidence is reportedly high in Thailand, plus at 31 he may have had considerable exposure, plus the area of Pattaya is racy to say the least.

If you decide on testing yourself (from the sounds of it it's not necessary) then do so in your own country, as this is an area of medicine that can require counselling.

Condom use would reduce transmission chance to near zero incidentally.

[Jimjim]

Best to get both of you tested and reveal the results to each other. If you both can't do that, best to stop it now.

[khundon]

In Nov I met a Thai boy in Pattaya and we have become great friends and lovers. I am 31 and he is 26....while there we had a brief moment of kissing...snuggling...a snippet of oral fellacio. I would hope to visit him again later this month and progress our relationship sexually but am concerned about possible STDs (HIV in particular).

I realize the paramount need to always practice safe sex and I will but regardless I truly would hope to have knowledge of his HIV status at the time. He was tested a year back and mentions he has had limited partners since but I know the statistical trend in MSM for new HIV cases has rapidly increased and a lot can happen in a year. I also realize, if he does test positive there is a lot of stigma involved and I fear that there will not be support in place to attend to his emotional well being but knowledge in the matter is paramount since medical treatment can be sought and I could assist with that financially while in the US.

Should I ask him to be checked, and if positive what resources and direction should I guide him?

What is his idea on "Limited Partners" 3-5-10 ???? Have you both always practised? safe sex???

Talk to him about it and express your concerns to him, I sugguest that you both get tested at the same time as an act of commitment to each other.

If he is serious about you he will get tested again and if you are serious about him, so will you.

Remember to repeat tests after 3 months.

The "stigma" problem will always arise, in all cultures but that is the price you both have to pay, to find out if you are healthy.

Having a test can be difficult at the best of times, so choose a good clinic/hospital and discuss counciling issues between each other and with who ever is doing the tests.

You sound like a very sensible and supportive lady, he is a lucky guy.

Once you both have the all clear, I'm sure you will both enjoy a much closer and more sensual love life.

I wish you both all the best and have a happy, healthy and long life.

Edited January 2, 2009 by khundon

[mommysboy]

In Nov I met a Thai boy in Pattaya and we have become great friends and lovers. I am 31 and he is 26....while there we had a brief moment of kissing...snuggling...a snippet of oral fellacio. I would hope to visit him again later this month and progress our relationship sexually but am concerned about possible STDs (HIV in particular).

I realize the paramount need to always practice safe sex and I will but regardless I truly would hope to have knowledge of his HIV status at the time. He was tested a year back and mentions he has had limited partners since but I know the statistical trend in MSM for new HIV cases has rapidly increased and a lot can happen in a year. I also realize, if he does test positive there is a lot of stigma involved and I fear that there will not be support in place to attend to his emotional well being but knowledge in the matter is paramount since medical treatment can be sought and I could assist with that financially while in the US.

Should I ask him to be checked, and if positive what resources and direction should I guide him?

What is his idea on "Limited Partners" 3-5-10 ???? Have you both always practised? safe sex???

Talk to him about it and express your concerns to him, I sugguest that you both get tested at the same time as an act of commitment to each other.

If he is serious about you he will get tested again and if you are serious about him, so will you.

Remember to repeat tests after 3 months.

The "stigma" problem will always arise, in all cultures but that is the price you both have to pay, to find out if you are healthy.

Having a test can be difficult at the best of times, so choose a good clinic/hospital and discuss counciling issues between each other and with who ever is doing the tests.

You sound like a very sensible and supportive lady, he is a lucky guy.

Once you both have the all clear, I'm sure you will both enjoy a much closer and more sensual love life.

I wish you both all the best and have a happy, healthy and long life.

OP. In the unlikely event that BF had a positive test, what would you do?

[wasabi]

The punctuation in my post was not very good so my response may not have been clear but I was trying to say what KhunDon is saying. You can soften any possible offense he may take by suggesting he get tested by suggesting you both get tested to show you are serious about the relationship and start with a clean slate. But remember according to the CDC a negative result only means that as of 3 months ago he was negative. However with modern testing you can probably assume as of 1 month ago he was negative so to be 100% sure he needs to have had no other partners within 3 months and none within 1 month will give a high degree of certainty. In my opinion the Thai Red Cross near Sala Daeng is the best place to get tested. They are anonymous, affordable and reputable. You get your results in an hour and they have counselors on hand to discuss your result with you and give guidance. I went there with my Fiance and was so impressed that I make sure to always donate when I see one of those Thai red cross donation canisters around town.

[Dewe]

Thanks so far everyone for the insight it has been great and helpful...I hope all have a wonderful 2009

[khundon]

Thanks so far everyone for the insight it has been great and helpful...I hope all have a wonderful 2009

Live long and prosper.

Happy New Year.

[Ijustwannateach]

Anyone who is sexually active should be regularly tested- so my answer is yes, for him, you, and everyone else on this thread (except the abstinent).