sbk Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 I do hope this is the last post from a man who has nothing to add to this thread except his own issues, because if there is one more, then all of the trollish posts will be deleted and warnings will be handed out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 yes there are special rules for the ladies forum. thats why Patsy gets away with putting pictures of naked guys on the forum, like to how long pictures of naked Thai girls would last on any furom. You know what, if I hear one more complaint from a man about women having a separate forum and it being slightly different I am going to get very unhappy very quickly. Of this entire forum nearly 90% of the posters are men (from the last survey). If you cannot allow us our own little corner and butt out of it then I really do not know what your problem is. The entire forum is one big boy's playground. ENOUGH! this is me, fed up with men trolling in here. Polite men who can mind their manners and not make baseless and rather nasty accusations or troll are welcome but the rest can go elsewhere. I hope this is quite clear enough now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skippybangkok Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 (edited) I am not concerned about him and bar girls, most Thai men of a middle or upper class background don't give them a second look. SBK, not refering to ur hubby at all (so dont get defensive - dont know him or u, so who am i to judge), but being a man, and having Thai men as friends / collegues, nothing could be further from the truth. Ur right,, they are not called "bar girls" and they would not be caught with one, but the handing over of goods (money, Luois Vutton hand bags, cars, apartments / condo's etc) for services rendered is very very prevalent. ( they call them Giks ). Many of these girls are educated, and hold jobs. These girls dress better, act more civil, and are more adept at hunting for men with $$$$$$ and extracting it.. And the more money / class the men have, the more they hunt. Of course there are exceptions, never really counted, but i would put them in the minority. Edited February 1, 2009 by skippybangkok Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 I am not concerned about him and bar girls, most Thai men of a middle or upper class background don't give them a second look. SBK, not refering to ur hubby at all (so dont get defensive - dont know him or u, so who am i to judge), but being a man, and having Thai men as friends / collegues, nothing could be further from the truth. Ur right,, they are not called "bar girls" and they would not be caught with one, but the handing over of goods (money, Luois Vutton hand bags, cars, apartments / condo's etc) for services rendered is very very prevalent. ( they call them Giks ). Many of these girls are educated, and hold jobs. These girls dress better, act more civil, and are more adept at hunting for men with $$$$$$ and extracting it.. And the more money / class the men have, the more they hunt. Of course there are exceptions, never really counted, but i would put them in the minority. You've never been to Koh Phangan? lets just put it this way, its a very small community if you are local, very very small. Very small. There are girls who are hunting men with money, sure that is everywhere. But can't say that I've seen that type here. And I was referring to bar girls since that was the OP's issue. I don't know any man of my husband's class (at least among my neighborhood, and the surrounding neighborhoods, who knows maybe another part of the island would be different) who would consider one of the bar girls living on this island (since that is the only ones we've got) for anything. (and Skippy cheers for being civil ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanaDeLuxe Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 On topic again: During that time, the guy will rewrite your history together in such a way you won't recognise anything. The pain can be huge when your memories of the first time you met, why you got married, the honeymoon and even the birth of your children are tainted by this rewriting of history. I think, Desi raises a quite important point here. To rectify his actions, your husband, dear ttge, will probably change his remembrances (is that english?! sorry not my first language ) of your time together, to make it easier for him to get over the bad conscience he of course has, knowing deep inside what he is putting you through. It might be more easy for him to part from the "woman that is holding him in this boring life of a family father" and not allowing him to fall into his new freedom and the possible adventures ... Sad, but many people tend to react like that when it comes to ending a relationship ... Unfortunately I found this out after doing it myself, hrmph... A very good thread here. My compliments go especially to geriatrickid and submaniac for being real grown up men and offering excellent advice here and in other threads before! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaraRai Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 (edited) All the blame can't go to the bar girl. She was only doing her job, and bluntly, she wants money. It is your husband's fault for falling for her methods and betraying you. I suggest that you find a good divorce lawyer and leave your husband...oh, and take all that you can from him... Edited February 1, 2009 by DaraRai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
britmaveric Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Definitely not the BG's fault - tis a job at the end of the day, so keep that in mind and I dare say lads can't be fooled. However as I stated previously - sometimes these situations pan out, and the man although poorer due to his divorce ends up with said lady and is happy. Now I do find fault with the man because if he wasn't happy with his present wife - he should have ended things long ago. This is where he went wrong in my opinion - fine if you want to look elsewhere, but do things when you end things properly with your current relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sabaijai Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Ah yes, BygonKeaw. I do recognize you No worries, unless my husband manages to buy all the fish he "catches" with money he doesn't take with him and come back darker than he was before he went, then yes, he is indeed fishing. I am not concerned about him and bar girls, most Thai men of a middle or upper class background don't give them a second look. And as for your sudden concern with forum rules, don't stress yourself out too much as to how they are followed in this forum please, as you most certainly have not managed to stress yourself about the rules elsewhere, have you? As for the evolution theory, well, nice thought, but if men can't get past that excuse then they don't deserve an intelligent and thinking woman. I believe we are most certainly well past cave man days and men, by now, really should be able to use their big brains more effectively, I think. That's exactly what I said. Let your rational mind make intelligent decisions rather than succumbing to biology. Also please take the time to read that I wrote *some* observers of human behaviour believe there's a biological basis for the male midlife crisis. Pretty difficult to prove either way but until disproved it's as valid a theory as any other. Anyone who believes evolution has taken the human species beyond the basic urge to procreate has special insights that go far beyond science and should perhaps take up fortune-telling To Kat, I wasn't saying post-menopausal women aren't attractive or sexually desirable. When I said 'be prepared' that was intended to include such actions as being a 'sex bomb' as you put it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 sabaijai, I didn't think that you were saying anything else I knew exactly where you were going with your post, but it seems that many men prefer to fall back on the old "evolution" excuse for their behavior. As for the whole midlife crisis excuse, well I agree, lots of men have midlife crises, how you choose to deal with it probably determines your mental and emotional maturity level. My father had a midlife crisis and it didn't involve a sports car, younger women or even other women. Rather, he quit his high paying job, went back to school and got a Masters in Divinity. Now THAT is a midlife crisis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donna Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 my sisters ex husband played up on her for years (with my sisters 'friend') before my sister found out and finally kicked his sorry ass outa there. he ended up marrying the woman that he was cheating with, and has proceeded to cheat on her. next time my sis sees the new wife, she will shake her hand and thank her for giving my sister a life. my sis, after the initial shock and feelings of betrayal, has now met a wonderful man and she has never been happier. im so proud of her, and i am happy that her ex and his wife both ended up with the people they deserve. my reason for posting this, is to tell the OP that there IS life after a failed marriage. my dear sis certainly proves that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skippybangkok Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 (and Skippy cheers for being civil ) 2009 Resolution........ pick me up if i get weak ! 2010 maybe will resolve not to add my oppinion Bit by bit........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 You know, I've been thinking about your post skippy, and at least on Koh Phangan, you just don't see that particular type of girl, Most Louis Vuitton carrying girls would hardly give up their bag and their Jimmy Choos for flipflops But, if you were to replace the OP's husband with a Thai man, I just don't see middle class (or higher) Thai men going with a low status woman like a bar girl. And how many Thai men do you know would dump their wives and their family for a relationships with a girl from a bar? I just don't see it happening. Now, a fling, sure, and the LV girl would be a mia noi, but the wife and the family stay firmly ensconced in the family home. IME, at least where I live, Thai men tend to sow their wild oats (regardless of marital status) through their youth and 30s and by the time of their 40s and 50s usually mellow out and slow down on the sowing of oats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geekfreaklover Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 No, you can't win. See you know nothing about me or my husband so your guesses really are ludicrous Don't stress yourself on my account, I am more than capable of telling if my husband is cheating on me or fishing. Yep. Checking if the boat is still on the beach is a good start ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WaiWai Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 how many Thai men do you know would dump their wives and their family for a relationships with a girl from a bar? I just don't see it happening. Now, a fling, sure, and the LV girl would be a mia noi, but the wife and the family stay firmly ensconced in the family home. Agree. The LV gal could be a gik or a mia noi. IME, at least where I live, Thai men tend to sow their wild oats (regardless of marital status) through their youth and 30s and by the time of their 40s and 50s usually mellow out and slow down on the sowing of oats. While some mellowing may occur post-30's, generally speaking, I'd it's common knowledge that oat-sowing is tolerated at all ages. Possibly easier in larger cities and/or where families are separated by work commitments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OxfordWill Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Yea most 40-50 somethings with any money to speak of are generally going to be doing a lot of "sowing". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skippybangkok Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 (edited) You know, I've been thinking about your post skippy, and at least on Koh Phangan, you just don't see that particular type of girl, Most Louis Vuitton carrying girls would hardly give up their bag and their Jimmy Choos for flipflops But, if you were to replace the OP's husband with a Thai man, I just don't see middle class (or higher) Thai men going with a low status woman like a bar girl. And how many Thai men do you know would dump their wives and their family for a relationships with a girl from a bar? I just don't see it happening. Now, a fling, sure, and the LV girl would be a mia noi, but the wife and the family stay firmly ensconced in the family home. IME, at least where I live, Thai men tend to sow their wild oats (regardless of marital status) through their youth and 30s and by the time of their 40s and 50s usually mellow out and slow down on the sowing of oats. Spot On!........... everything - agreed most Mid to senior level Thai guys would not dump their wives, BUT, they would also not stop their shopping around. Most wives end up just learning to live with it, and so long as its not in public, they will be quiet. Most Western women could never live with this. Guess its where u put ur values 1. is it better to 2 time ? 2. or is it better to call it quits for the one "you love" ? (bearing in mind most mens inability to seperate a sexual infatuation with love ) Both have their merrits and draw backs! Edited February 2, 2009 by skippybangkok Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mssabai Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Even for lower class men, bar girls are bar girls. You can pay em for their services but you don't fall in love with them or give up your family for em. Hence why when they meet the willing wide eyed farang men, they are all over them like a rash. You really can't blame them. They are a light at the end of the tunnel for girls pressured into a life of being a prostitute and an outcast, only tolerated for her ability to provide material goods. The thing is I guess for both parties it is like a happy ending to a fairy tale. The white knight rescuing the beautiful cinderella from a life of sin. The beautiful exotic temptress giving a new lease of life to a man stuck in a routine relationship and life. Thing is that meeting is the end of the fairytale. Everything that happens after is the fall out from a relationship that was never started in the real world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patsycat Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 (edited) :D There were never any naked pictures, just a few bottoms. I have seen male friends of mine on holiday in Thailand, who at home work, go home, stay at home - and then on holiday in Thailand go absolutely haywire throwing money around and being really awful. Then when they get home - back to normal. with wee teardrops in their eyes, saving up for the next oliday. I do too, but in another way. Sorry, cat in the way. One friend asked me how much i spent on a three week holiday with food, hotel etc. - I said it cost me 3000 swiss francs - he said that as a young single man it cost him 10.000 swiss francs - probably something to do with a buffulo. And i shall stand by my stance that we are not all feminazi, fat piggy people. And sbk would never let nice naked male buttocks ever, ever be shown on the Ladies Forum Edited February 3, 2009 by Patsycat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajarnpim Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Ok.. this is my last contribution in this tread.. I just got a sms from 111 or Noi half an hour ago.. 6 days since the last, she text this:Hi darling. How r u ? hope u r fine,i am fine have a nice day for u. time to working for me now. Take care Who start working 1 am?? Why and where? I guess I have not enough experience... think I'll give this thing up.. This is the last you hear from MansonDust good riddance troll. Quite funny all the same. hope it was meant to be!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garret Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 I am a man. I have been here 17 years and have seen this first hand a billion times. SORRY. PROTECT YOURSELF AND LEAVE HIM ASAP.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manutoo Posted February 8, 2009 Share Posted February 8, 2009 I have asked what is it that this bar girl does for him? She makes him feel wanted, how cutting that is. He's the one who has pushed me away all these years, that in order for me to stop feeling rejected, I stopped coming on to him. All these things i've wanted to do to him, oh well. May I suggest you to read "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus" ..? In it, the author explains why men need to pull away, and what women should do when it happens... Basically, he says that men are rubber bands and need to pull away to come back stronger... If when a man needs to pull away, his wife doesn't let him by following him, then he doesn't feel his need to come back strong to her... (pull away can mean : go to fishing, watch TV alone late, or simply not in mood for talk, etc...) Unfortunately, this reading will come late for ur current situation, but maybe it could help u in the future... And I wish u that ur husband will come back to reality soon... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiangmaikelly Posted February 8, 2009 Share Posted February 8, 2009 (edited) You know, I've been thinking about your post skippy, and at least on Koh Phangan, you just don't see that particular type of girl, Most Louis Vuitton carrying girls would hardly give up their bag and their Jimmy Choos for flipflops But, if you were to replace the OP's husband with a Thai man, I just don't see middle class (or higher) Thai men going with a low status woman like a bar girl. And how many Thai men do you know would dump their wives and their family for a relationships with a girl from a bar? I just don't see it happening. Now, a fling, sure, and the LV girl would be a mia noi, but the wife and the family stay firmly ensconced in the family home. IME, at least where I live, Thai men tend to sow their wild oats (regardless of marital status) through their youth and 30s and by the time of their 40s and 50s usually mellow out and slow down on the sowing of oats. Spot On!........... everything - agreed most Mid to senior level Thai guys would not dump their wives, BUT, they would also not stop their shopping around. Most wives end up just learning to live with it, and so long as its not in public, they will be quiet. Most Western women could never live with this. Guess its where u put ur values 1. is it better to 2 time ? 2. or is it better to call it quits for the one "you love" ? (bearing in mind most mens inability to seperate a sexual infatuation with love ) Both have their merrits and draw backs! The Thai business women that I know don't put up with it. They go to night clubs that specialize in handsome young Thai men that are available for older Thai women. It is a problem that most of these guys are gay but somehow they seem to overcome it for the short period of time that a woman needs or wants a heterosexual male. Heck, five or ten minutes a day should do it. The rest of the time a guy who can sing, dance and cook is just fine. These guys are easy to spot. They are the stars of the stage shows and sing and dance quite well. After the ladies get a little booze in them they even go up to the stage to deliver flowers and cash or the refined ones have someone else deliver the goodies on stage and the guy shows up at the table later. I go to these clubs because I am a nut case but I rarely see any middle aged Thai guys there. Once I saw this poor guy watching from outside through a window as his wife danced with a really good looking male about 20 years his junior. Later he tried to confront her but she apparently wore the pants in the family and told him to mind his own business and go off with one of his blank blank blank ladies. Mostly the clubs are peopled by women of all ages with a few token gay guys thrown in for looks. Few Farangs go and I have only infrequently seen Farang women there and I don't think they were clued in on what was happening. I think this is mainly a Thai phenomenon. Edited February 8, 2009 by chiangmaikelly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patklang Posted February 8, 2009 Share Posted February 8, 2009 Even for lower class men, bar girls are bar girls. You can pay em for their services but you don't fall in love with them or give up your family for em. Hence why when they meet the willing wide eyed farang men, they are all over them like a rash. You really can't blame them. They are a light at the end of the tunnel for girls pressured into a life of being a prostitute and an outcast, only tolerated for her ability to provide material goods. The thing is I guess for both parties it is like a happy ending to a fairy tale. The white knight rescuing the beautiful cinderella from a life of sin. The beautiful exotic temptress giving a new lease of life to a man stuck in a routine relationship and life. Thing is that meeting is the end of the fairytale. Everything that happens after is the fall out from a relationship that was never started in the real world. you should write a book about all this,oops sorry you have already read the book lol. are low class men bar boys/taxi drivers/etc etc,and they dont have bar girls as wives/gf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Insulting and demeaning posts have been deleted. Please read the Ladies Forum rules again before posting, further such posts will result in immediate moderator action. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desi Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 And to be frank, the implied insult in your post makes me think long and hard about any further posts that you may post here. I'm glad someone else said something. I gritted my teeth when I read that first thing this morning. But as I have a way of getting posts closed when I reply... I resisted. (harsh statements anti-Thai, anti-women, anti-American... they all twiddle with my flash temper) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soulwy Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Practical things are said before. Just hang on there in this lousy situation! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saliSa112 Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 I did, I lost my farang husband to a Thai girl, but I gained a very happy life later on. At first, I was in shock. I didn't know what to do. I just let him have fun for a while. After he saw the paperwork from the court, he got wokeup. It was too late. He kicked that Thai woman out off his life and tried to get back to be with me. I don't care for him anymore. Now, I quit the job to be a full time mom and I don't worry about the financial at all 'cause the court order him to pay for us every month.!! ( why work? let him work and pay for the lesson). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnieLim Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 I did, I lost my farang husband to a Thai girl, but I gained a very happy life later on.At first, I was in shock. I didn't know what to do. I just let him have fun for a while. After he saw the paperwork from the court, he got wokeup. It was too late. He kicked that Thai woman out off his life and tried to get back to be with me. I don't care for him anymore. Now, I quit the job to be a full time mom and I don't worry about the financial at all 'cause the court order him to pay for us every month.!! ( why work? let him work and pay for the lesson). Good job SaliSa112. That's the way to teach men a lesson. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geekfreaklover Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 I did, I lost my farang husband to a Thai girl, but I gained a very happy life later on.At first, I was in shock. I didn't know what to do. I just let him have fun for a while. After he saw the paperwork from the court, he got wokeup. It was too late. He kicked that Thai woman out off his life and tried to get back to be with me. I don't care for him anymore. Now, I quit the job to be a full time mom and I don't worry about the financial at all 'cause the court order him to pay for us every month.!! ( why work? let him work and pay for the lesson). Nice story. Why bother doing anything with your life? Just sponge of your ex to let him pay for realising that there was a better alternative to getting on top of you every night. By the way, I speak as a divorced person who gained custody of my kids and have work to pay for them everyday after giving all my material assets to my ex who was materialistic, such as yourself, but didn't win custody. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Datsun240Z Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 Reaction to the topic title: It's physical attraction. If you are an older ( not harmful meant ) western lady, the "excitement " of what he had in the past is over, and it becomes more to the loyal phase. With all men physical attraction remains, whatever their age, so when he sees a young hot Thai girl.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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