Thai Behaivior.

[HorseDoctor]

Their smile.

They do smile a lot.

A lot more than other nationalities.

Been to more than 80 countries, so I believe I have some sort of decent material (experience) for that stat.

Back when I first moved here , in my naive state I thought that officials would care that horses were starving to death and other horrible things were going on at the beach rental stable. I had a lot of really disturbing pictures and almost every Thai I showed them to would giggle .

One time I got called to help with a horse that dying, he was way past helping, in horrible pain and needed to be put down immediately .

I tried in vain to get a policeman present to shoot it, or give me the gun so I could and there was this whole crowd around the horse and a young woman, a westerner whose horse it was and she was really distraught, crying and the crowd was just laughing, giggling ... so funny this horse dying in wretched pain and this "Farang" caring about it so much.. Ha Ha Ha .

Yeah that was when I realized ....Well I can't say on this forum as such sentiments are banned

Edited February 2, 2009 by HorseDoctor

[mattias33]

Their smile.

They do smile a lot.

A lot more than other nationalities.

Been to more than 80 countries, so I believe I have some sort of decent material (experience) for that stat.

Back when I first moved here , in my naive state I thought that officials would care that horses were starving to death and other horrible things were going on at the beach rental stable. I had a lot of really disturbing pictures and almost every Thai I showed them to would giggle .

One time I got called to help with a horse that dying, he was way past helping, in horrible pain and needed to be put down immediately .

I tried in vain to get a policeman present to shoot it, or give me the gun so I could and there was this whole crowd around the horse and a young woman, a westerner whose horse it was and she was really distraught, crying and the crowd was just laughing, giggling ... so funny this horse dying in wretched pain and this "Farang" caring about it so much.. Ha Ha Ha .

Yeah that was when I realized ....Well I can't say on this forum as such sentiments are banned

Ouch!! I have to say i was not prepared for that kind of answer when i started this thread, but thanks for sharing!

Yeah, i guess the "uneducation" shines true a bit sometimes for us westerners. Driving around Samui, more than one time it happened that the car in front of us throw his empty foodbox or bottle out his window on the street, and im prepare to stop him and beat him up when my wife say "how is this your buisness, stay out". I guess thats another side of "thainess". See something that you in your heart beleive is so wrong, but since it´s not your buisness you dont say anything. Being me, with very strong oppinions, i guess thats one of the things that really annoys me over here. . I was having a beer at our local team mart when a thaiman went in and bought a redbull, drank it and then smached the bottle on the cement right outside the shop. And smiled at me, like "wasnt that cool?" sort of smile. I asked him "who is gonna clean up that glass?". He said "the lady in the shop". I said "no, you are gonna clean it up right now monkey boy" and took a step forward towards him. He cleaned it very fast and left, shaking his head shouting "falang ba" all over the place.

"Thainess" hard to get. We are on the other side of the world. Particulary on the islands in the south, were i live, its alot of uneducated "monkeyboys". It´s hard for me to accept complete stupidity. I really try, because i realize this is their place and im a guesst. But it is hard. .

[loong]

Mmm Well I don't feel Thais are any more special, charming or polite generally- no more than any other culture.

In fact I see a lot of Thais picking their nose, really digging in it, too. I've neer seen that accepted anywhere else ................................ Then blowing the nose into the ground! Oh man that is the most disgusting habit I've ever seen a human perform. .............................

One of my first sights in Thailand was a woman cooking at a roadside stall, wok handle in one hand and forefinger of the other hand enthusiastically probing her nostril

It really turns my stomach when people blow out their noses or heck up and spit onto the bathroom floor, can't even do it near the drain! Just love it when I tread in that with bare feet

[longway]

T h e more I think about it the more the Thai code of behavior seems just..irrelevent. Like taking the shoes off before entering a public space. That is downright unhygienic, all the toe jam , Ech..

I realize why the lady at the Kasikorn bank had a bemused smile as I tucked an offered wrapped wet nap into my purse.

I'll use it next time I have to use a public bathroom I thought to myself. A real hygienic solution the wet nap will be.

But no I'm supposed to use it to wipe the light sheen of innocuous sweat on my forehead, sweat that isn't going to affect anyone, ever.

And keeping floors spotless in th house , but walls are covered in grime. Who cares if the floor is dirty, it's walked on , for Christ sake!

Yes let's all bathe twice a day but use a filthy rag to wipe filthy tables in a restaurant and then dry dishes with it.

There's just no logic to the behavior, like there's no concept of a future ...That actions have any consequence .

It's why those people lost their lives at Santika ( fireworks) and in the 1-2 Go crash ( lack of emergency training ) and everyday on every road.

Christy sweet you are banned from tjis forum. why are you sneaking back if its so bad here?

[macb]

I was reading lonely planet (a bit old, 10th edition august 2003) yesterday and it describes "Thainess". How Thais do it, so to speak. Also pointing out that the more of this Thaiway you adapt as a foreigner, the more respect you gain from Thais. Speaking a little Thai being the optimal. Among things like 1. Being clean and newly showered, 2. wear clean clothes, 3. Don´t shout or raise your voice, 4. Be polite and smile, 5. always take off your shoes before entering a building were there is a buddha pic on the wall, 6. dont tuch heads, i found one thing in particular interessting:

When Thais visit Thaihomes the one they visit is always suppose to offer something. A glass of water, a fruit, a shot of ricewine or whatever the house holds to offer. The visitor is suppose to accept whatever is being offered. Even if you are not the least bit thirsty/hungry, to not at least taste from the thing offered is considered rude. Now i remembered a thing that happened when my wife first visited Sweden a few years ago. My dads wife offered her a beer (as a joke) 10 in the morning, and she said "yes thank you". I thought it was very strange that she wanted to drink a beer 10 in the morning and so did the person that offered it to her. She had one zip of the can and left the rest. At the time i didnt know what this was all about, but yesterday, after reading up a bit on "Thainess" i confronted her with this and she said "yes, i never say no if somebody offer me something in their home, thats not polite".

Now, have anybody else had fun experiences where "Thainess" is involved? In particular when Thais go abroad or in the contact with foreigners in Thailand. I bet there must be alot of fun stories out there....

Well I have lived in Thailand for almost 5 years now and have spent time in many provinces around Thailand. As with any other country different areas have different dialects and different pronunciations of the Thai language, examples Northern Thailand communities may speak Thai or loas, Issan side may speak Khmer or Thai, also there is good Thai Grammar and bad Thai Grammar.

Here is are a couple of links I found: I appreciate it drifts away from the originators post a little.

http://www.learnthaiculture.com/

http://www.thailandlife.com/thai-culture/index.php

[Thai at Heart]

Mmm Well I don't feel Thais are any more special, charming or polite generally- no more than any other culture.

In fact I see a lot of Thais picking their nose, really digging in it, too. I've neer seen that accepted anywhere else ................................ Then blowing the nose into the ground! Oh man that is the most disgusting habit I've ever seen a human perform. .............................

One of my first sights in Thailand was a woman cooking at a roadside stall, wok handle in one hand and forefinger of the other hand enthusiastically probing her nostril

It really turns my stomach when people blow out their noses or heck up and spit onto the bathroom floor, can't even do it near the drain! Just love it when I tread in that with bare feet

If you think that Thai's hock and spit too much, don't ever consider taking a trip to China.

Thai people are extremely proud of how they conduct themselves, and are extremely house proud. They might not get it right 100% of the time, but I certainly appreciate the fact that even a farmers house tends to be well kept and clean as opposed to the sights I have seen back home or in other countries around the region or other continents. Thai's are as a rule neat, tidy and clean people. That said, when will mom and pop highway service stations discover bleach?

That said, it all gets a bit one eyed when the floor is spotless but the walls are filthy, or the dishcloth is grey and ragged for the sake of thrift. This is when Thai culture gets stuck and refuses to move. It is almost like a handbook that gets passed down from generation to generation and no one dares to update it, but it is often part and parcel of the charm of the country.

[Birdman]

Unfortunately some posters turned this thread around from a nice one to a Thai bashing one.

Just to relativize the nose picking. Firstly, only a minority do that and secondly, Thais feel the same disgust if e.g. someone lays his feet on a table, which is common even in the highest positions in the west...

And that in Thailand a smile is not a smile should be clear by now. Once we drove in Phuket and saw 2 Thais lying in a ditch. One motionless, the second crying in pain. A little bit further there was an entire arm in the middle of the road. Some meters further a motorcycle on the ground, a Pick Up in the other ditch and next to that Pick Up an older Thai, most probably the driver, alone and smiling.

That's the desperate smile Thais do, if they feel helpless and frightened.

[eek]

I got a taste of a Thai way when I was doing a bit of a spring clean. Was nearly finished and all the cleaning cloths were being soaked, but i forgot to dust the ping-pong table outside. I had a really soft, gentle floor cleaning brush which is used indoors (but was clean), so decided to just get it and dust the top of the table with that. Boyfriend came out and the look of pure shock stopped me in my tracks. Had no idea what was wrong at first. I looked back with wide-eyes waiting for some terrible news. Eventually he laughed and came over to take the brush off me and said "OH! If my mother ever saw something like that...". The penny dropped so I grimaced at him and got on with other things.

I think maybe its not too nice in other countries what i did either, but i figured as it was a soft clean brush and the table was for playing a game on, it would be ok seeing as I had no cloth available...but oh well..wont be doing that again thats for sure

[Travel2003]

Their smile.

They do smile a lot.

A lot more than other nationalities.

Been to more than 80 countries, so I believe I have some sort of decent material (experience) for that stat.

Back when I first moved here , in my naive state I thought that officials would care that horses were starving to death and other horrible things were going on at the beach rental stable. I had a lot of really disturbing pictures and almost every Thai I showed them to would giggle .

One time I got called to help with a horse that dying, he was way past helping, in horrible pain and needed to be put down immediately .

I tried in vain to get a policeman present to shoot it, or give me the gun so I could and there was this whole crowd around the horse and a young woman, a westerner whose horse it was and she was really distraught, crying and the crowd was just laughing, giggling ... so funny this horse dying in wretched pain and this "Farang" caring about it so much.. Ha Ha Ha .

Yeah that was when I realized ....Well I can't say on this forum as such sentiments are banned

I wanted to contribute with something positive actually.

Thats why I mentioned the smiles.

Along come you and hijack my post, and twist it in a negative way.

Yes, you are correct in your post, you were very naive those days (as you state).

No way in hel_l that normal people in any country will stand around and laugh when an animal is wretched in pain and dying in front of their eyes.

By the way, you asked for someone to shoot it. And to borrow a policeman's gun?

And the silly policeman didnt want to let you borrow his gun?

May I ask where you are used to police officers letting the public use their guns?

[dumball]

Back when I first moved here , in my naive state I thought that officials would care that horses were starving to death and other horrible things were going on at the beach rental stable. I had a lot of really disturbing pictures and almost every Thai I showed them to would giggle .

One time I got called to help with a horse that dying, he was way past helping, in horrible pain and needed to be put down immediately .

I tried in vain to get a policeman present to shoot it, or give me the gun so I could and there was this whole crowd around the horse and a young woman, a westerner whose horse it was and she was really distraught, crying and the crowd was just laughing, giggling ... so funny this horse dying in wretched pain and this "Farang" caring about it so much.. Ha Ha Ha .

Yeah that was when I realized ....Well I can't say on this forum as such sentiments are banned

I wanted to contribute with something positive actually.

Thats why I mentioned the smiles.

Along come you and hijack my post, and twist it in a negative way.

Yes, you are correct in your post, you were very naive those days (as you state).

No way in hel_l that normal people in any country will stand around and laugh when an animal is wretched in pain and dying in front of their eyes.

By the way, you asked for someone to shoot it. And to borrow a policeman's gun?

And the silly policeman didnt want to let you borrow his gun?

May I ask where you are used to police officers letting the public use their guns?

[/quote)

I liked your positive contribution , problem being that Thai smiles have around a dozen different meanings , then you call horse doctor a liar , were you smiling in a derisive manner ? One thing I do agree with you on , no policeman would let you even touch his weapon . Sorry if I hijacked your comment and gave it a twist in my naivette , not much going on at this early hour .

[dumball]

Mmm Well I don't feel Thais are any more special, charming or polite generally- no more than any other culture.

In fact I see a lot of Thais picking their nose, really digging in it, too. I've neer seen that accepted anywhere else ................................ Then blowing the nose into the ground! Oh man that is the most disgusting habit I've ever seen a human perform. .............................

One of my first sights in Thailand was a woman cooking at a roadside stall, wok handle in one hand and forefinger of the other hand enthusiastically probing her nostril

It really turns my stomach when people blow out their noses or heck up and spit onto the bathroom floor, can't even do it near the drain! Just love it when I tread in that with bare feet

If you think that Thai's hock and spit too much, don't ever consider taking a trip to China.

Thai people are extremely proud of how they conduct themselves, and are extremely house proud. They might not get it right 100% of the time, but I certainly appreciate the fact that even a farmers house tends to be well kept and clean as opposed to the sights I have seen back home or in other countries around the region or other continents. Thai's are as a rule neat, tidy and clean people. That said, when will mom and pop highway service stations discover bleach?

That said, it all gets a bit one eyed when the floor is spotless but the walls are filthy, or the dishcloth is grey and ragged for the sake of thrift. This is when Thai culture gets stuck and refuses to move. It is almost like a handbook that gets passed down from generation to generation and no one dares to update it, but it is often part and parcel of the charm of the country.

Quite contradictional of yourself here , clean house with 'Fithy ' walls ,''Grey' dishcloth , 'Hygenic' bathrooms with no bleach , You are quite right , they do not get it right MOST of the time , what decrepit place is the 'back-home' you come from ?

[Travel2003]

I wanted to contribute with something positive actually.

Thats why I mentioned the smiles.

Along come you and hijack my post, and twist it in a negative way.

Yes, you are correct in your post, you were very naive those days (as you state).

No way in hel_l that normal people in any country will stand around and laugh when an animal is wretched in pain and dying in front of their eyes.

By the way, you asked for someone to shoot it. And to borrow a policeman's gun?

And the silly policeman didnt want to let you borrow his gun?

May I ask where you are used to police officers letting the public use their guns?

[/quote)

I liked your positive contribution , problem being that Thai smiles have around a dozen different meanings , then you call horse doctor a liar , were you smiling in a derisive manner ? One thing I do agree with you on , no policeman would let you even touch his weapon . Sorry if I hijacked your comment and gave it a twist in my naivette , not much going on at this early hour .

I think he must in his early days got their smiles and giggling wrong.

Again, I do not believe anyone, in any country, in their right mind, would enjoy seeing anything in such a pain.

Just as you mentioned there are a lot of smiles.

One type of smiles (and giggling) is the shy and embarressed one, as we also have home. But not that strong maybe as we can see here.

Same goes as when someone on their first visits here step on a banana peel and fall on the street.

To their big surprise Thais can stand there and actually laugh.

We all know now that they are not laughing at the person, but at the funny incident, hoping that this person will also laugh of the situation/incident as well.

Can also be looked at as very rude.

By the way, here

Honestly, a real smile.

Happy as well.

[dumball]

Thank you travel2003 for your informative response , you obviously were aware I was somewhat 'Tongue in cheek' , I get that way at times in my old age , we used to call it 'Wry humour' , many people on here seem to have lost thier sense of humour , life is not that serious realy , or at least , should not be because it is too short , just ask me , I am getting to the tale end of it .( only another 15 years to go) .

[loong]

........Thai people are extremely proud of how they conduct themselves, and are extremely house proud. They might not get it right 100% of the time, but I certainly appreciate the fact that even a farmers house tends to be well kept and clean as opposed to the sights I have seen back home or in other countries around the region or other continents. Thai's are as a rule neat, tidy and clean people. That said, when will mom and pop highway service stations discover bleach?.........

Well I can't believe that you have been to many farmers' houses. In rural Thailand I have seen very few houseproud people. Maybe city folk are different, I don't really mix with them.

Villagers in general are the messiest people going and they think that because you throw a lot of water around in the bathroom, that it must be self cleaning.

[MiG16]

P.S. A standard greeting in Vietnam to a guest entering your house translates as, "Hello. Have you had rice (eaten)?"

that is how it is in Thai too. when you meet someone, the greeting is not how are you but

'pai nai ma' - where are you coming from

'kin khao rue yung' - have you eaten

SBK is right about the offer of food. but there is one other aspect of it. as a Thai you avoid arriving unannounced at someone's house during traditional meal times - for instance never arrive someone's house close to noon. the idea is because it is thai custom to offer food, especially when the host is eating their lunch, they will offer and ask the guest to join them, regardless of how much food is there. (in most household, especially the poor ones, where food is limited, they will even go out of the way to offer the 'good' /special food to the guest. for eg. there may be one egg / fish as part of other dishes of boiled veggies and chilli paste. the guest will be offered the egg/fish)

the practice is fading away....you certainly wont see it in Bangkok. most people greet with 'hello' these days. change is some time good, but I do wish we would try to keep and maintain some aspects of Thai culture.

(one does not have to be old or middle aged to appreciate these values and the old ways. I was brought up by a grandmother who spent time in the service of one of the numerous small palaces in the old days. you hear some very interesting stories, and absorb some of those things (which I really value...but amongst friends I was considered 'old' even at the age of 8 or 12, or 15. Teenagers these days would think I sound like their great grandma )

[mattias33]

Well, how about this one then.

When my wife (who is Thai) and me visit western friends of mine (with Thai wifes) she will sometimes stop at a nudle shop and by a bag of food with her. To herself! To me it is really rude and i many times dont allow her to take it inside if she not gonna bring out food for everybody. However the thai people we visit seem ok with this. I just think it is so rude.

Now, she learned a new approach to that one. Since we have a one year old boy, she claims its for him and borrow plates and everything, and then he have one bite and she eat the rest!

When i give her the look in the car she says "it´s for him!". I sometimes answer with "som tam, pet mac mac for a oe year old?". She say, sorry its for me!

[anothertorres]

i play takraw with a group of thai guys regularly and man, they love to drink whiskey and beer. they love to share, share, share but... everytime *i* bring a bottle of whiskey they are all "ok, thank you, ok". almost afraid to dare drink it in front of me. i've seen them go and buy another bottle to drink so they don't have to open my 'numchai'. they freeze up, don't know what to do but say thank you and stare at it. but, i'm 100% certain that the minute i leave, someone snatches that bottle. the empty bottle is always around

i love them all to death and they treat me so well. while my wife was out of the country for work they threw me a birthday party, cooked all sorts of food, brought their wives and baked me a fuc_king cake!

drink the dam_n whiskey!

[marioDC]

T h e more I think about it the more the Thai code of behavior seems just..irrelevent. Like taking the shoes off before entering a public space. That is downright unhygienic, all the toe jam , Ech..

I realize why the lady at the Kasikorn bank had a bemused smile as I tucked an offered wrapped wet nap into my purse.

I'll use it next time I have to use a public bathroom I thought to myself. A real hygienic solution the wet nap will be.

But no I'm supposed to use it to wipe the light sheen of innocuous sweat on my forehead, sweat that isn't going to affect anyone, ever.

And keeping floors spotless in th house , but walls are covered in grime. Who cares if the floor is dirty, it's walked on , for Christ sake!

Yes let's all bathe twice a day but use a filthy rag to wipe filthy tables in a restaurant and then dry dishes with it.

There's just no logic to the behavior, like there's no concept of a future ...That actions have any consequence .

It's why those people lost their lives at Santika ( fireworks) and in the 1-2 Go crash ( lack of emergency training ) and everyday on every road.

Do you actually have anything positive to say about Thailand ? Or anything else for that matter ? The guy (Matthias) who started this topic just wants to know more about Thai customs, as do 99% of all other readers on here. No need to break down all of these things.

You harvest what you sow. So ... show some respect and ...

And please don't be offended by this, but try peeking through more pink glasses.

[marioDC]

Unfortunately some posters turned this thread around from a nice one to a Thai bashing one.

Just to relativize the nose picking. Firstly, only a minority do that and secondly, Thais feel the same disgust if e.g. someone lays his feet on a table, which is common even in the highest positions in the west...

And that in Thailand a smile is not a smile should be clear by now. Once we drove in Phuket and saw 2 Thais lying in a ditch. One motionless, the second crying in pain. A little bit further there was an entire arm in the middle of the road. Some meters further a motorcycle on the ground, a Pick Up in the other ditch and next to that Pick Up an older Thai, most probably the driver, alone and smiling.

That's the desperate smile Thais do, if they feel helpless and frightened.

Another good example is this one :

try making a Japanese man angry ... ( i agree, this has got nothing to do with the Thai, but it's got some point as to the meaning of smiling)