How Good Is My Lady Should I Marry

[bensalu]

I met my girlfriend in Bangkok in a shopping plaza and we have been living together for the last 12 months, shes comes from isaan and a poor family.

She is currently going to uni in bangkok and has been paying for that by working at a pizza shop and also getting

a little help from her family.

Since I have been with her I have been helping her and she no longer works at the pizza shop.

We have a really good relationmship there are never any arguments and she speaks well and is very thoughtful much

better than my thai wife of 5 years ago.

When I do something for her she she shows her appreciation and respect. I dont spoil her with gold and lots of

money and she doesnt ask.

We go everywhere together and enjoy each others company ,she dont smoke but sometimes buys a couple of drinks from 7/11 every couple of months.

A little about my self i am 52 and not to outgoing I am quiet and dont drink or go to bars but i enjoy the company of a nice lady and dont like being alone to much.

The last couple of months she has become very demanding on me and telling me she wants to marry and not just live

with me.

After knowing and living with her for 12 months i know she wants marriage and the comfort of knowing she can care

for her parents.

I have recently told her that i have a serious Neurologica illness which is starting to take a grip on me and will

be incapable of caring for myself in the next 1 to 5 yearsand i want to go back home to aus.

I have explained what is involved in taking care of me when i am unable to get around and also showed lots of info

on the internet about it.

She has offered to take care of me as long as I want, providing she can have enough money to send back to her

family about 6 thousand baht a month.

She also is very aware that we will not be given a lot of extra money while caring for me just normal day to day

living expenses.

Also if I pass on she asks if i will make sure she is left something in my will or insurance i do own a small

house.

The way I am thinking is that if some one is willing to care for me 24 hours a day for the next 10 years that they

should be rewarded.

I do have three grown up children but they wont be able to care for me to much as i they all have work to do and

there is know way i will forget them when i pass as they will also be taken care of.

My girlfriend has made it quite clear that she wants to marry a farang and if its not me she will find some one.

She wants me to marry in her village and pay a very small dowry .

I also realise that it will be very hard at times her caring for me when i get more sick and i think that it is

being very unfair on her but I also know that thais have a reputation for being careing people.

THis is a hard decision to me and I would appreciate honest replys and do expect a few negative ones but what would

you do if you was in this situation stay on your own through a long illness or take somone on there word and trust

them.

what would you do ?

[dave9988]

i am 52

She is currently going to uni in bangkok

what else needs to be said? you should find a nurse for this type of care.

Edited February 7, 2009 by dave9988

[neverdie]

^maybe shes a mature age student?

[Boater]

i am 52

She is currently going to uni in bangkok

what else needs to be said? you should find a nurse for this type of care.

exaclty my thoughts....

how old is she??? .... did she know of your illness??? ... as some of these uni students are very clever ( i knew one who married an old man with an illness and he poped his glogs, and as they where married she got the lot, which i believe was about 16 - 17 million THB..)

[Boater]

oh, i what do your 3 grown up children make of this??? .... if my dad was dating a uni student in Thailand ( hang on i would never let it happen! )

[neverdie]

oh, i what do your 3 grown up children make of this??? .... if my dad was dating a uni student in Thailand ( hang on i would never let it happen! )

Interesting. So you control your father do you boater?

[OxfordWill]

please, get a nurse too, so if you are left without her someone will know and care.

[BygonKeaw]

You lot replying really believe that crap??

hahahahhaah

Edited February 7, 2009 by BygonKeaw

[bensalu]

its not crap

[dave9988]

You lot replying really believe that crap??

hahahahhaah

way to complex and too many words to be fake.

[neverdie]

^yeah its a stretch!

[britmaveric]

I'd break things off - young bird doesnt need to be saddled with that sort of responsibility. I think you are better off letting her go.

[neverdie]

OP, Can you clarify the age of your lady, i have asked if she is a mature age student, is she more than 15 to 20 years your junior?

Youve asked us a question, in order to answer it you need to present all the facts.

[bensalu]

sorry i forgot to mention she is 22

[473geo]

I guess this 'arrangement' appears attractive. To be fair to the girl, she must at least be allowed to finish her education before making a choice. A brave choice on her part to give up a large slice of her youth to care for you.....but then Thai girls will do this for their families. She appears to be in this for the financial reward....if that suits her, and you, and there are no issues with your family, say splitting the house 4 ways....then why not go for it.

[neverdie]

OP,

Perhaps you should do a bit more reading about THAILAND. Perhaps you could have a look at a few other sites like stickmans. Maybe you should wake up to yourself and STOP TROLLING!

[neverdie]

[jtp]

Mate,if it makes you happy,then go for it.Just make sure you protect your kids inheritance,as that is also your responsibility to your children.And if she gets something for looking after you,then that is fair.I am sure her family would appreciate some financial gain out of the whole situation.But just make sure you understand that her motives for helping you may well be just financial,even though she may really care for you.I don't believe to many old/young relationships work out,but there is nothing wrong with friendship.As for her marrying you,it is very important to the older generation that their daughter marry,not just live with a man,although the youngsters don't really care. Good luck,hope it works out ok.

[jtp]

OP,

Perhaps you should do a bit more reading about THAILAND. Perhaps you could have a look at a few other sites like stickmans. Maybe you should wake up to yourself and STOP TROLLING!

You big bully,you!!

[jtp]

Super duper moderator Never die...

[Ciaphas]

I'd break things off - young bird doesnt need to be saddled with that sort of responsibility. I think you are better off letting her go.

totally agree, I remember what I was like at 22 there's no way I would burden someone so young. It would be unfair on both of you.

[Moonrakers]

I'd go with the nurse option that somebody mentioned.

She may well have good intentions but when the harsh reality of having to actually wipe somebody's arse for them actually kicks in then she may not be so keen.

[473geo]

If you are looking for a sign of honesty, 6k baht a month is a very very honest assessment of the family needs for a month.

[jtp]

I'd go with the nurse option that somebody mentioned.

She may well have good intentions but when the harsh reality of having to actually wipe somebody's arse for them actually kicks in then she may not be so keen.

Yea,good point,that would push the limits of any relationship/friendship of a young lady......Maybe the nurse idea isn't so bad after all.....

[neverdie]

Super duper moderator Never die...

Geeze chux trix....BUT seriously I wouldnt make a moderators bootlace.

But who in their right mind would post such trash on a site and not expect to cop flack. The man is more than 30 years her senior, hes knocking on deaths door with some illness, he states he is going to be in need of care in the next year to 5 & so forth.

Get real & as for the 6k per month, that is a conservative figure BUT no doubt it will get manipulated later & eventually (if this is true) its going to end up causing EVERYONE more dramas than its worth.

Enuf from me, if your not a troll OP, my apology.....but I'd be betting both my swingers that you are one. (Swingers are testicles).

[bensalu]

I can gaurantee you this is not a troll it is and you should give people the benefit of the doubt

[neverdie]

Alright then, since I have your gaurantee then .

What you should do though is at least be realistic.....take yourself over to the closest mirror gaze into it and honestly tell yourself what you see. Then honestly look at the girl & tell yourself what does she see in you?

Then go from there.....YOU wont find your answers here....you need to look deeper with HONESTLY!

[GuestHouse]

Your g/f has told you that she intends to marry a Farang and if not you she will marry someone else.

This ought to raise two questions:

1. What is her motive for wanting marrying a Farang (including you)?

2. What is the depth of her feelings for you that she would be willing to pass you over in order to achieve her stated aims.

Alarm bells ought to be ringing.

While you have my sincerest sympathies for what your health is going to force upon you in the future, you do at least, unlike most of us, have some certainty of what the future has for you.

My advice would be to take a long hard look at what it means to be a dependent foreigner in Thailand. There are little enough laws to help you protect your rights, no laws of Trust and the laws relating to 'Power of Attorney' are a farce.

I would start seriously looking at providing a secure legal framework for your care and for care of your assets in readiness for when you are unable to care for yourself and stop being deluded by the idea that a woman a third of your age is the answer to the future you face. Particularly a woman who's motives are so clearly questionable.

[jtp]

I can gaurantee you this is not a troll it is and you should give people the benefit of the doubt

Is this the same lady you took to Australia last year?I just remembered that in Australia you will be given a nurse to look after you,regardless of your marriage status,so really you would have to decide in the end,just how much help do YOU want to give this lady?As long as she treats you ok,then it will be fine,but what happens if,after the 2 year period is up,that she wants a new bf?Would you be able to accept that she may want to live with someone else?Could you handle this emotionally?Or would it add to your health woes?

[Owain]

I met my girlfriend in Bangkok in a shopping plaza and we have been living together for the last 12 months, shes comes from isaan and a poor family.

She is currently going to uni in bangkok and has been paying for that by working at a pizza shop and also getting

a little help from her family.

Since I have been with her I have been helping her and she no longer works at the pizza shop.

We have a really good relationmship there are never any arguments and she speaks well and is very thoughtful much

better than my thai wife of 5 years ago.

When I do something for her she she shows her appreciation and respect. I dont spoil her with gold and lots of

money and she doesnt ask.

We go everywhere together and enjoy each others company ,she dont smoke but sometimes buys a couple of drinks from 7/11 every couple of months.

A little about my self i am 52 and not to outgoing I am quiet and dont drink or go to bars but i enjoy the company of a nice lady and dont like being alone to much.

The last couple of months she has become very demanding on me and telling me she wants to marry and not just live

with me.

After knowing and living with her for 12 months i know she wants marriage and the comfort of knowing she can care

for her parents.

I have recently told her that i have a serious Neurologica illness which is starting to take a grip on me and will

be incapable of caring for myself in the next 1 to 5 yearsand i want to go back home to aus.

I have explained what is involved in taking care of me when i am unable to get around and also showed lots of info

on the internet about it.

She has offered to take care of me as long as I want, providing she can have enough money to send back to her

family about 6 thousand baht a month.

She also is very aware that we will not be given a lot of extra money while caring for me just normal day to day

living expenses.

Also if I pass on she asks if i will make sure she is left something in my will or insurance i do own a small

house.

The way I am thinking is that if some one is willing to care for me 24 hours a day for the next 10 years that they

should be rewarded.

I do have three grown up children but they wont be able to care for me to much as i they all have work to do and

there is know way i will forget them when i pass as they will also be taken care of.

My girlfriend has made it quite clear that she wants to marry a farang and if its not me she will find some one.

She wants me to marry in her village and pay a very small dowry .

I also realise that it will be very hard at times her caring for me when i get more sick and i think that it is

being very unfair on her but I also know that thais have a reputation for being careing people.

THis is a hard decision to me and I would appreciate honest replys and do expect a few negative ones but what would

you do if you was in this situation stay on your own through a long illness or take somone on there word and trust

them.

what would you do ?

I would go back home and forget her if I was you. Although she could be good as her word I think if you take her back to Aus and she becomes a citizens then she will be gone as soon as her new passport hits the floor and I don't blame her.