How Good Is My Lady Should I Marry

[abdulrahman]

6K Baht a month,very small sinsot,no inheritance(it's reserved for the offspring that doesn't care about him).

Who is exploiting whom?

A nurse would be more expensive,of course!

[h90]

I can gaurantee you this is not a troll it is and you should give people the benefit of the doubt

having 20 post......wow I must believe it now.....

[bensalu]

i wont be staying in thailand my assets are in australia .

This ought to raise two questions:

1. What is her motive for wanting marrying a Farang (including you)?

2. What is the depth of her feelings for you that she would be willing to pass you over in order to achieve her stated aims.

Alarm bells ought to be ringing.

While you have my sincerest sympathies for what your health is going to force upon you in the future, you do at least, unlike most of us, have some certainty of what the future has for you.

My advice would be to take a long hard look at what it means to be a dependent foreigner in Thailand. There are little enough laws to help you protect your rights, no laws of Trust and the laws relating to 'Power of Attorney' are a farce.

I would start seriously looking at providing a secure legal framework for your care and for care of your assets in readiness for when you are unable to care for yourself and stop being deluded by the idea that a woman a third of your age is the answer to the future you face. Particularly a woman who's motives are so clearly questionable.

[jdinasia]

Are you really asking random strangers on an internet forum if you should marry?

[bensalu]

We have been together sin feb 2008 i took a lady to aus in 2007 , she fully understands that to gain anything from me she will need to oblige fully and we will do something legally.

I Agree it is a huge thing expect from a young girl that is why i am not making decisions quickly as it is a seroius issue.

Is this the same lady you took to Australia last year?I just remembered that in Australia you will be given a nurse to look after you,regardless of your marriage status,so really you would have to decide in the end,just how much help do YOU want to give this lady?As long as she treats you ok,then it will be fine,but what happens if,after the 2 year period is up,that she wants a new bf?Would you be able to accept that she may want to live with someone else?Could you handle this emotionally?Or would it add to your health woes?

[473geo]

I wonder if the girl had posted on this forum that she had the opportunity to travel to Aus to work as a carer, provide for her family for 5 - 10 years, and perhaps have a bonus at the end of the contract. Would the advice be to stay in Thailand...possibly drift into the sex trade?

Ok this is slightly more complicated, but you get my point.....how many Thai people go work overseas as domestics, cleaners etc. You have befriended her, and wish to involve yourself in an agreement to your mutual benefit. Where is the harm in that? You appear to be an intelligent man.

[neverdie]

Are you really asking random strangers on an internet forum if you should marry?

Well thats how all intelligent men decide to get married, isnt it?

[473geo]

Are you really asking random strangers on an internet forum if you should marry?

Well thats how all intelligent men decide to get married, isnt it?

Sadly you'll never have the opportunity to find out

[eggomaniac]

If this is not a Troll post, here is best solution.

If it is a Troll, it is a very boring one, so my suggestion will add a bit of interest to an otherwise mundane Thread. [where is the tongue in cheek emotican?]

Following is the formula for success. You have to apply every point; drop one and the chain will break.

[if Australia is as tough as some other countries on allowing Thai women in, the whole idea might be redundant as the battle with Immigration will exhaust your energy and finances, though if your 'fiance' was in her 40's they would look at the Application a little more serious.]

Forget the 'getting a nurse' suggestion, that would be very expensive to have an Aussie nurse.

Marry her, she would be a good bargain as a live in caregiver.

DO a prenuptial agreement, including doing a will for how much she gets and how much your children get.

Agree, in writing, that after so many years you will both agree to an uncontested divorce.

In my opinion, there is a basis for a legitimate marriage agreement, not what governments and 'society' might classify as one.

She would get a life in a Western country, plus the ability to support her family. Oh, it should be in writing that she will work once she gets landed immigrant status, without complaining.

After so many years, she will be free to connect with a man who is her age, and can share a 'normal' life with.

You will get yourself 'fixed' no children.

You get a nurse and a 'friend'. If it is all on the table as to what the 'arrangement' is, I may be in the minority, but I view this as a 'possible' admirable 'relationship'.

What you should REALLY do is find one the thousands of pretty, smart, English speaking, non scam women in their 40's who would make this 'arrangement' more 'palatable' back in Ozzie land, unless you like being the 'talk of the Town'.

You get that young one over there, you never said if she is pretty?, and she will be picked up on by someone her own age when she is out shopping.

There, if NOT a troll, the main point is to make it clear it IS an arranged marriage, put the details in writing, what you are willing to do to make her life better, and what she is willing to do to make your life better. If you add up what she has to offer you and what you have to offer her, it is a 'good deal'; just make sure it is all in writing!

if it is a troll, with all due respect, it was NOT a very unimaginative one.

Edited February 7, 2009 by eggomaniac

[Ijustwannateach]

Not that I believe for a moment this isn't a troll- but just fyi, no single person- not even a professional nurse- can provide 24 hr care perpetually and remain a functional human being.

[yabaaaa]

sorry i forgot to mention she is 22

Looking after anybody long term is a total drain, she is young and needs to be doing things different to this. Just my opinion. What if aftre 6 months she just walks out and doesnt come back?

[473geo]

Not that I believe for a moment this isn't a troll- but just fyi, no single person- not even a professional nurse- can provide 24 hr care perpetually and remain a functional human being.

Good point...ask if she has a friend.

[colino]

Not a bad way to go having some young Thai totty giving you bed baths.

Beats having some butch ozzie nurse doing it ,

Go for it

colino

PS with my luck it would turn out to be a male nurse

[bensalu]

this is a genuine post not a troll why is it so hard to believe .

I am using this forum for some intelligent comments and saying its a troll with no evidence are not helping me.

[DragonQuest]

umm red flag dude....

Also if I pass on she asks if i will make sure she is left something in my will or insurance i do own a small

house.

[Lucifer]

From her point of view...10 years hard(ish) labour and she can retire....maybe.

[ukme]

I don't believe the O/P is a Troll. I do believe that some of the reponses to his post have been..........I don't know what to say, I'm actually quite shocked. To the O/P, I wish you the best of health over the coming years.

[justanothercybertosser]

this is a genuine post not a troll why is it so hard to believe .

I am using this forum for some intelligent comments and saying its a troll with no evidence are not helping me.

It might not be such a bad choice for both, as long as both of you understand what the base of this relationship most definitely will be. In such a relationship practical reasons will outweigh "love", but sympathy and companionship might be maybe more important for you, and good enough for her.

You will need somebody who you can spend the remainder of a maybe not very comfortable life with, and who will take care of you. She will have an opportunity for security for herself and her family. As long as both of you are under no illusions that this is it, and what it takes, then both of you can benefit from this relationship.

You will have to make sure though that she will be treated well in your will (and a prenuptial agreement that protects you against a quick and costly divorce should be done).

The vast majority of Thai-farang relationships with westerners far older than their spouses are based on nothing else than such a mutually beneficial agreement (even though most westerners are not aware of it). Some of those relationships do work well.

[eggomaniac]

sorry i forgot to mention she is 22

Looking after anybody long term is a total drain, she is young and needs to be doing things different to this. Just my opinion. What if aftre 6 months she just walks out and doesnt come back?

Her permanent residency can be tied to keeping her end of the agreement. The application can be drawn out for years, and 'leaving' the Sponsor would negate the process.

These two have equally valuable offerings for a contract of marriage. I actually think this whole Topic is redundant, but have no knowledge of ozzie immigration. If it is like Canada, he would have a 'fight and 1/2' getting her landed.

A post in the Visas to other countries might shed some light on what their chances of success in getting her entry to australia. All of the other issues don't count if they cannot jump that hurdle.

I suggest getting an idea from here.>>

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/Visas-migrat...ntries-f25.html

Edited February 7, 2009 by eggomaniac

[eggomaniac]

From her point of view...10 years hard(ish) labour and she can retire....maybe.

VERY good point. Just like, some, are willing to 'put time in' on oil rigs in the Mideast to build up a 'nest egg' for living back home.

Some Thais make the West their home, but many want to work and save for a triumphant home coming.

[pop_corn]

sorry i forgot to mention she is 22

Shame on you. You could be her father. Don't you have any self respect at all? what does your own children think about this?

and honestly.... Do you think she is with you because what? uh? get a nurse, have a bit of respect for your self, if not for your family, I would be TOTALLY embarrassed if you were my father. "Yes, yes.. take me to Australia, I take care of you for a short while take all the money I can, while I look for a real guy in falangland" ha!

[473geo]

sorry i forgot to mention she is 22

Shame on you. You could be her father. Don't you have any self respect at all? what does your own children think about this?

and honestly.... Do you think she is with you because what? uh? get a nurse, have a bit of respect for your self, if not for your family, I would be TOTALLY embarrassed if you were my father. "Yes, yes.. take me to Australia, I take care of you for a short while take all the money I can, while I look for a real guy in falangland" ha!

Pop corn go back and read the opening post.....

They have lived together for 12 months...

'She has offered to take care of me'....

'She shows me respect'

The OP is fully aware of the financial aspects

The girl is fully aware he has a progressive degenerative illness

She is 22 not 16..... read...'she has offered to take care of me'

or would you have the OP dissappoint her... dash her hopes...and leave her to the sex industry where she may have to go with many father figues in one night, just to provide 6k a month for her family to feel she is a good daughter,so ending up with no respect at all. Being exposed to all the associated risks. Ah yes, another embittered Thai lady let down by a farang.

I guess in your world what you feel is 'moral' outweighs compassion and thoughtfulness..

[pop_corn]

sorry i forgot to mention she is 22

Shame on you. You could be her father. Don't you have any self respect at all? what does your own children think about this?

and honestly.... Do you think she is with you because what? uh? get a nurse, have a bit of respect for your self, if not for your family, I would be TOTALLY embarrassed if you were my father. "Yes, yes.. take me to Australia, I take care of you for a short while take all the money I can, while I look for a real guy in falangland" ha!

Pop corn go back and read the opening post.....

They have lived together for 12 months...

'She has offered to take care of me'....

'She shows me respect'

The OP is fully aware of the financial aspects

The girl is fully aware he has a progressive degenerative illness

She is 22 not 16..... read...'she has offered to take care of me'

or would you have the OP dissappoint her... dash her hopes...and leave her to the sex industry where she may have to go with many father figues in one night, just to provide 6k a month for her family to feel she is a good daughter,so ending up with no respect at all. Being exposed to all the associated risks. Ah yes, another embittered Thai lady let down by a farang.

I guess in your world what you feel is 'moral' outweighs compassion and thoughtfulness..

Means 30 years of age gap. SHAME. I'm saying this from my point of view. If I was his daughter, I wouldn't dare to look at him straight in the eyes anymore. Do you think she is in love with the old sick guy? awww... I think Im gonna cry.

[Lucifer]

''whats love got to do with it''...Tina Turna.

She will invest 10 years of her life, so she could retire, and the OP invests money so, he can have a relatively a comfortable remainder of his life.

Both completely aware of the ''deal''

Win, win.

[473geo]

Pop corn - You know what is so annoying....there are some really good intelligent posts here...people have thought about the advice they give...either people read them and fail to take the information on board or their own prejudices forbid encouragement and thoughtful advice.

The train of thought on this thread, if you had bothered to notice, is that as a mutually beneficial contract it may be no bad thing....there are of course other differing opinions....I don't think any one poster here apart from yourself has even intimated that this is a love match!!!

But like many posters you will use whatever you can to try and impose your views.....

Edited February 7, 2009 by 473geo

[pop_corn]

''whats love got to do with it''...Tina Turna.

She will invest 10 years of her life, so she could retire, and the OP invests money so, he can have a relatively a comfortable remainder of his life.

Both completely aware of the ''deal''

Win, win.

haha, well you are right really... (btw, you remind me I don't have that song, so I'm downloading it hoho)

My point was a bit more to his moral part really, but if he don't care about it, oh well.. it's up to him!

[pumpuiman]

Go for it....what do you have to lose? Do what makes you happy.

Just a side note...I've been disabled for over two years now, and my wife is an angel.

[TJAN]

i am 52

She is currently going to uni in bangkok

what else needs to be said? you should find a nurse for this type of care.

exaclty my thoughts....

how old is she??? .... did she know of your illness??? ... as some of these uni students are very clever ( i knew one who married an old man with an illness and he poped his glogs, and as they where married she got the lot, which i believe was about 16 - 17 million THB..)

So what she took care of him when he needed it,that is more then you can say about your own childeren nowadays.Who says she knows that he had all that money.

[GreenSnapper]

Means 30 years of age gap. SHAME. I'm saying this from my point of view. If I was his daughter, I wouldn't dare to look at him straight in the eyes anymore. Do you think she is in love with the old sick guy? awww... I think Im gonna cry.

Shame on you!

For your insults on a sick man. He deserves happiness as everbody else. The age gap is irrelevant - men always go for younger women.

I wish the OP good luck on this difficult path.

[GungaDin]

If this is not a Troll post, here is best solution.

If it is a Troll, it is a very boring one, so my suggestion will add a bit of interest to an otherwise mundane Thread. [where is the tongue in cheek emotican?]

Following is the formula for success. You have to apply every point; drop one and the chain will break.

[if Australia is as tough as some other countries on allowing Thai women in, the whole idea might be redundant as the battle with Immigration will exhaust your energy and finances, though if your 'fiance' was in her 40's they would look at the Application a little more serious.]

Forget the 'getting a nurse' suggestion, etc. etc.

^^^ ^^^ Best post so far!

Bensalu,

you will have a very hard time getting this lass into Aus regardless of whether you are married to her or not.

You will need a good Immi lawyer.

Save all docs to prove the length of time you've been together.

A friend has returned to Aus and is para from the waist down, he's having a hard time convincing Aus Immi that his young TGF has been looking after him and his 2 children for 2 yrs prior to coming to Aus.

You will get free daily home visits from a competent nurse should your TGF should ever go "walkabout."

Good luck mate, you're going to need it.

edit: 2 words for Popcorn..... Grow up!

Edited February 8, 2009 by GungaDin